Das Noob-A Weekly Report of Server Battles

[152mmDumbRocket]

Thursday-

Ran into a guy whose name was (politely phrased) RAT#%&. He was probably a 6-year old, as far as I could tell, because of his behavior. First I played against him on Low Dunes and had no problem taking his flag and scoring twice, because of a lack of defense and not-so well placed turrets. I've encountered stiffer resistance from the bots on Low Dunes in standalone than I did in this game. I spent the rest of the game sitting at my flag as he mindlessly tried to butcher me and my defenses, the smartest move he made being trying to sneak up with a Apollo and a Hermes to kill me, but my superior instincts and gunnery skills dispatched him easily :cool: .

Then came Ice Field, where I joined him on the side of Blood. This is where things got low-caliber. He had put 5 76mm AT Turrets randomly inside the base, and left it that way. As for me, I got to work putting several 90mm AT Turrets on top of the parapets, a plan that paid off quite handsomely once the game began .

Once the deployment phase was over, I mounted the parapets with a Apollo and delivered death with a 120mm gun, while the turrets I had put up went on a killing spree and kept the base well defended. And as for RAT#%&, he spent his time in an Apollo, firing wildly and only getting about 2 kills as far as I can remember, and firing HE at an enemy Apollo, while not being very accurate.

When I asked him if he was new, I got no response. He did type in the chat window a couple of times later, but everything he wrote was a bunch of 4's, 3's, and d's all strung together. I twice called down a Galaxy in the course of the game and told him to get some ammo, but he didn't seem to understand. The first time I told him, he did nothing :confused: , and on the second time, he spun his Apollo around inside the base like a little kid on a joy ride to nowhere :eek: .

Strange bedfellows are those you meet on a server on any day other than Sunday, I suppose.

[152mmDumbRocket]

Friday-

Had a couple of good games with Jung, boooom, and RAT#%& today, and I got a new insight into my ratty friend (We played together for both rounds). I hopped on board with Jung and RAT#%& for the House to House game, at which point Jung struck a deal with me. He said we should each take one side for the next game and we would play together on Sunday. I agreed, and we went to the next game, an Objective round at Dead Gulch.

Dead Gulch was a very hard fought battle, and although I lost thanks to Jung shooting through my frontal armor :mad: , I thought afterwards that maybe my impressive shooting ability was rubbing off on Jung!

I got a new insight into RAT#%& today. For the first time, he entered something into the chat window that was intelligible. He said "i dropping in behind you" or something like that. My response (in this post, not the game) is this: Uh, why would I need to know that? The second time he chatted, it was at Dead Gulch and it was "help". My answer to that, again in this post only, is: How could I have helped you? I was down near the objective, having a hard time as it was, and you were on the hill with the western AA Ion tower fighting it out with boooom. You were on your own, with no bots nearby that I could switch to, and while boooom isn't the most accurate shooter in the world, he's capable of stopping you all the same, especially at the close quarters you two were in.

Still, the battle ended with RAT#%&'s deaths at 30 and mine at 25, but RAT#%& got 9 kills, which lead me to up the estimate of his age in my previous post to just being a 9-year old who was new to the game, and my score of 27 kills is as good as it's ever been.

Today's battles were the kind that I can live with.

[__Yossarian0815[jby]]

I never count my digital deaths

Since the early days of online gaming I´ve been a killer but I also die like russian conscripts in human wave charges.

CU on sunday.

[Junglist]

I have been pleasantly surprised to find people playing the last few times I've checked the servers. Previously I had gone weeks without even bothering to check, except Sundays.

Personally I was attributing RAT@$$' play with his inexperience. God knows when I started playing I made a lot of mistakes. Anyway, it's nice to see some new players who are playing fairly often.

jby - as 152 mentioned, we have agreed to fight together on Sunday, so I'm depending on you (and hopefully Stonewall) to provide some stiff opposition! We'll split up any other players who show amongst the two teams.

[__Yossarian0815[jby]]

Originally posted by Junglist:

jby - as 152 mentioned, we have agreed to fight together on Sunday, so I'm depending on you (and hopefully Stonewall) to provide some stiff opposition! We'll split up any other players who show amongst the two teams.

okeydokey

To quote the enormous crocodile (Roald Dahl children´s book 1970s): "I have secret plans and clever tricks."

[152mmDumbRocket]

Originally posted by jby

I never count my digital deaths

I don't usually do that either, but Jung had to go, as did I, and so I had the chance to see how well I did.

Originally posted by jby

Since the early days of online gaming I´ve been a killer but I also die like russian conscripts in human wave charges.

I act like that too, but I think of it as a desperate mad charge, relying only on my aim to blow everything up. I know it's not very smart, but sometimes I do act that way.

See you all tomorrow on the field of battle, and may the best minds and sharpest aims win.

[152mmDumbRocket]

Wednesday-

I've been going on the server for the past few days now, trying to lure people onto the server by my presence for some good games and a chance to inform them about the battles we all love on Sunday, but with no success. Does anyone have any tips about what time ordinary people go on the server on any day of the week other than Sunday?

[Junglist]

There hasn't been anyone playing regularly for a while now, from what I can tell at least. The best time to find players used to be around 8 or 9 pm EST. If you are going on still I'll take an occasional look so we can at least shoot each other a bit.

[152mmDumbRocket]

Wednesday-

I will keep this topic going, but its continuity is limited by the number of sever battles on any day other than Sunday. What I can say is that judging by the new names in the Replay menu, I'd say that we have a lot of new players, which means hope for this topic. And I found out some more info about RAT@$$. According to the Replay menu, he hasn't been on since the 10th. I hope he comes back, and that he's a little better after a lot of standalone practice (Hey, it works for me ).

[Paul Snively]

I quit for a while after encountering a lot of issues with a chain of releases in campaign mode, but I think the most recent release I've downloaded resolved those issues.

A lot of good stuff got added... especially infantry... but honestly, I've not learned how to use them. So pretty clearly, I'm going to be a n00b again. If y'all promise to be patient with me, I'd love to battle with you guys.

[152mmDumbRocket]

Tuesday-

Today I had a great round of CTF at New Yosemite with someone named kim2. After a long Verdun-style bombardment, we went in and got the flag twice. For some reason, kim2 couldn't hear my voice comm. and had to use the chat window all the time. I don't know if it was my position in front of my laptop's microphones or kim2's connection wasn't fast enough to handle my voice communications, but we had a great time and he or she might come over on Sunday, so score one for the industrious sharpshooter! :cool:

Oh, and Snively, I can give you some tips on how to survive version 1.3.5:

Infantry can be deadly if used correctly. But don't go running around on say Ice Field like a newly-born n00b where everyone can see you coming.

-Try to use infantry on maps like The Dam, where cover is plentiful and you will be almost impossible to spot until its too late.

-Going prone (B button) will increase accuracy and make you even harder to spot.

-Jump jets (X button) will enable you to move long distances fast but will make you show up on enemy sensors.

-Hold cntrl and press N to bring up the squad menu to set things like formation and spacing.

Now to specifics:

-There are 4 different kinds of infantry squads: Rifle, HMG (Heavy Machine Gun), Ion, and Engineer.

-The basic infantryman (5 of these in 1 Rifle squad) has 2 weapons:

10mm assault rifle (with 200 rounds, good only for killing other infantry and sensors and sensor jammers

AT Grenade launcher, with a maximum effective range of 300 meters for most people (my all-time record kill with AT Grenades is 554 meters :cool: ), and with 6 grenades. Follow the same rules for targeting (aiming for the sides and rear) like you would for a vehicle. Treat it like you would a ace in the hole, and beware Hermes =8-().

In HMG squad, (4 Riflemen and 1 Heavy Machine Gunner), the HMG man is loaded as follows:

20mm HMG, with 350 rounds, a chainsaw, just like its vehicle-mounted cousin, with a shorter effective range. Can only be fired from standing or prone positions. HMG man has shorter range jump ability but jets recharge faster.

In Ion squad (4 riflemen and 1 Ion man):

6mm Ion cannon, small but with virtually unlimited range and no delay to target. Will require a lot of firing, though. Has same limited jumping ability as HMG man.

In Engineer squad (4 riflemen and 1 engineer):

Engineer, same loadout as Rifleman, but with limited jump jets. Has ability to capture buildings but only 1 Engineer squad is issued per round, so use them well.

See if that helps Snively.

[Junglist]

Great to here you're back Paul. Remember, Sunday afternoon (3pm EST) is the best time to play against other players.

[ March 06, 2008, 05:50 PM: Message edited by: Junglist ]

[Phonan]

Originally posted by 152mmDumbRocket:

(my all-time record kill with AT Grenades is 554 meters :cool: )

Very nice!

One of my favorite occurrences is having infantry in an enemy base after an EMP drop. You can pop Thors like crazy!I remember my favorite time that happened on "Raid," and boy was it amazing! I think this is a really great tactic, and come to think of it maybe I'll try using it more.

[152mmDumbRocket]

Thanks, Phonan. I made that awesome shot on Dead Gulch, when I was up against STONEWALL. He had turreted the N hill and I was sniping his turrets from over the edge. The 554 meter shot was the last in a string of kills with AT Grenades, and was the longest. After that, I got so excited that I tried for a 640 meter shot on another turret, but the grenade landed just to the left.

Your EMP-Infantry combo sounds nice, and it could come in real handy. I'll keep it in my bag of tricks. And yes, I know the joy of blowing things up with infantry in sneak attacks, but I've also been caught off guard by Jung and Redcon, so I've learned to respect the little men with jet packs, stealth, and AT Grenades.

[Phonan]

You know, maybe we should work again on fitting an image or model to the AT Grenades...

[poesel]

Hey Phonan:

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=48;t=000411#000008

[Phonan]

I was referencing:

Thats it. No need for a mod and it works on the server, too, since its a client side only thing.

Using the mine picture is a bit ugly IMHO. I'd rather take:

tracer00

Thats harder to see but looks better. YMMV. But maybe someone draws something better. Its just a png... [smile]

I think I'll try to get going on that "draws something better" line.

[152mmDumbRocket]

Based on an actual post.

152mmDumbRocket's Guide On the Soon-to-come Trouble For DropTeam, one of the best games of all time.

This guide will show (satirically) how a flood of new players could cause severe problems for the old guard (that's us), in the form of a list of the characteristics of the scum of the online gaming community (probably drawn up by themselves) upon joining us decent people and all the other decent people then joining.

Here we go:

1: Pick a name such as Superpwnz, , youzlam3, m3tHhEaD, or anything else that doesn't make any sense at all. Another good source of names is something foul that involves animals, or anything involving toilets, like raBBit---- or RAT@$$ (sorry Rat, I'm not referring to you, I'm referring to the scum who might take your name and your lunch money while they're at it. I should know, because during a brief stint in BF2142, I saw jerks teamkill people just so they could get to a turret or vehicle first, and was teamkilled by these same people for the same reasons).

2: Forget about the forums for now because you are too 1337 to pay attention in any case.

3: As soon as you get your demo download and install it, put up your own listening server, without bothering to update your copy. For names follow Step 1, with such examples as Ubergame, coolserver, irawks, etc.

4: After several weeks of demoing and Steps 1-3, get the full version.

5: After two days of full time playing with the full version and Steps 1-3, update (Jaws theme starts playing).

6: Head online and start to make decisions that will win the battle. Announce yourself as the ultimate ultra-uber 1337 rawkzors da sawkzors ruler of DropTeam and get to work by constantly voting to make yourself commander of your team, and trying constantly to end the scenario that's currently playing, distracting everyone else when they should have their game on. Say that everyone else who doesn't support you ----- and you will rox the battlefield.

7: Shortly upon making your debut wonder why some guys named 152-whatever it was and kim2 cut you down when you were in an uber Thor and could not have been beaten. Call them cheaters and threaten to report them to... whoever handles that sort of thing.

8: A short time later, head online for revenge and find that 152 dude again. Find him playing against some other guys and join up with them. Instantly tell one of them, some guy named Jung, to pwn 152 and get the flag, while continuing Step 6. If he's busy doing something else and/or doesn't take you seriously, call him a chicken and say he's only there to be insulted. Call him Dung and say he's about that valuable to the team.

9: Upon everyone in your team joining 152, call them sad and losers and say "I will pwn you!!!" That will scare them enough to leave you victorious.

10: Upon the Jung-jby-kim2-152 dynasty's victory, vow to get even.

11: Discover there's a forum to talk about things like this and join with another appropriate name.

12: Burst into the forum scene and start complaining in a vitriolic post about how Jung shot you down with infantry in your last online battle and how that was cheating. After that, spam the forums with stories about how cool you are. Don't forget all the 1-word replies!

13: Find your hated archenemy 152 and spam his Das Noob topic with stuff like "You ---- i rock you cheat". Pay no attention to the fact that he can't tell BASIC from COBOL (hence no ability to cheat) and to the fact that he can blow up your 1337-handled Cutter from 4 km with a 120mm HEAT round while yawning. At the same time, start your very own topic and ramble endlessly about how cool you are. Again, don't forget the 1-word replies!

14: Insult everyone on the forums and then say it was your little kid brother. If no one believes you, then say it was your sister. If they still don't get it, call them morons. It helps them understand.

15: Continue your you topic and talk about how you destroyed some guy named Redcon and sent him running crying to his blankie, and then put Redcon down when he says he owned you in the rear. After all, if he says that, you must have taken him out seriously.

16: Upon getting some jerks to join you, hatch your ultimate plan: the takeover of the super-roksors! After getting the scum (and n00bs who didn't know what they were in for) of the DropTeam community on your side, form a new dynasty, and introduce the tradition of the letters of your dynasty's name joining to make unpleasant words, like Power Uber Snipers (PUS). Do this on the forums, where everyone can see this. After all, you and your men are so uber that everyone else will shrink in fear and let you win the day come Sunday. Then take on everyone and remember, you are too uber to lose.

17: On Sunday, discover that the Jung-jby-kim2-152 and Phonan-STONEWALL-Redcon-Foxbat dynasties have united in the Diamond Hawk Dynasty, out to get your tail as a trophy. Lead your men into battle, for everyone on the other side are chickens, cheats, hackers, cowards, n00bs, or all of the above.

18: On the destruction of your dynasty and the inflow of fresh blood from your doomed group to the Diamond Hawks, and your screaming something incoherent over the voice channel, get all the jerks you can find together and make another dynasty. Then, as a full fledged player, make yourself and the others useful mentors to the n00bs who are fresh off the boat and take them into the new dynasty. Train them by assuming they know the controls as if they were born with them implanted in their heads, and by calling them n00bs every time they fall victim to your guns. If they leave, call them wimps and say they hack to cheat, and cheat to hack.

Well, that's it. I hope I didn't offend some people.

[152mmDumbRocket]

I have an experiment in mind. Let's spread the best and worst players who show up next Sunday evenly and then have one side vote a commander, while keeping the usual status quo on the other side, and see who wins. Maybe we'll see whether or not a dedicated commander could make a difference on the field of battle.

[152mmDumbRocket]

Now, a manual for the future...

152mmDumbRocket's Commanders Manual For Victory

This is not a satire. This is a real manual for those who will have to take the role of team commander in the near future.

I'll cut to the chase. Here's what you should know and do:

Upon deciding to join the party, get the full version, so you can play with people who have class (but still expect a few bad apples).

Select a name. Try to keep it within the bounds of good taste, so nothing like "Ipwnz", "U----orz", anything degrading another person, or anything involving evil dictators or their subordinates, or any combination of any element just listed here. Play for several weeks in standalone only, building up your skills so you can make a good showing.

When you make your debut online, making sure to type in the chat window so everyone doesn't think you just started playing yesterday. For extra credit, use the push-to-talk feature if you have a microphone. To use it, just hold down P while talking. Come on, if you have a microphone, it's easy!

Here are some rules for the conduct of a future commander: A commander has to be considerate so anyone at all will listen to him. So don't put others down with things like "Boy, u ----". Don't put boasts up. Don't type in all caps. Don't use L33T to great extent. And for Pete's sake, don't type anything like this: "IM THE BEST YOU CANT BEAT ME L0L!!!11!! :eek:

Don't try to vote yourself team commander all the time. If you don't make it the first time, don't try again in that round. Failing to heed my advice will probably result in everyone leaving the server instantly as soon as you arrive. Also, don't try to end the scenario constantly if you don't get your way. It's not being a good sport.

Now for the stuff you do once you get there:

Try to sound like you have a plan, and don't say "D00DS we're going to utterly r0xx0r their s0xx0rs and show them how UBER we are!1!1!!!". That won't get you any players to be on your side (except the noobs who either don't know any better or are usually suckered by jerks). Use the Mercury CMD to put down various deployables that you can access by using the Cntrl-D combo.

Finally, if you run into a bad player, like the one I outlined a few posts back, take action. The first time he does something bad and offensive, tell him to cut it out. The second time he does it, tell him to cut it out. The third time... kick him to the other team, while relying on the other team to fire him back to you, thus trapping the problem player in a ping-pong game of side-kicking that he can only escape if he leaves, and if you can't do that, you may have to hound him out of the server, or call on the admin to eject him out of the server.

But above all, don't sit back in "God mode", as some put it, but instead be there on the ground with your men, judge the situation for yourself, and lead your team to victory.

The end of yet another insightful post. And again, I hope I didn't offend some people with my use of L33T, but it was solely for example.

[152mmDumbRocket]

Thursday-

Headed online and was pleasantly surprised by STONEWALL at Dead Gulch. Although it was too late for me to win the game, I did pop him off at several kilometers while he was using my tactic of being up on the N hill.

Then a round at Low Dunes, where things went quite well. I scored three flags and had Jung join in the last minutes of the game. I told him that his idea of fighting on Friday was fine by me. I was intending to keep fighting with him at Forsaken, but a server disconnect put an end to that.

Well, look's like tomorrow's the big day for fighting, owing to Easter, and I hope we have a lot of people, maybe 4 on 4, and if we're lucky, 5 on 5.

[152mmDumbRocket]

Friday-

Well, none of the above happened. We had some great games, but the only people to show were Jung and Ruaanith. Still, Phonan said he could be open tomorrow, so I can only hope. And a number of people who didn't get the memo could show up on Sunday too.