Marlon Brando, the PENG CHALLENGE and me

[BFCElvis]

Wankers.

[Buzzsaw]

Originally posted by Elvis:

Wankers.

Now our thread is complete! I feel so much better.

[Guest Mike]

You would feel better if you had nettles up your a*se!!

Let's face it - with your problems feeling better is the only option!

[Buzzsaw]

Originally posted by Mike:

You would feel better if you had nettles up your a*se!!

Let's face it - with your problems feeling better is the only option!

At least Elvis' posts provide an additional search term when trying to locate past incarnations of the MBT. Your posts don't seem to have much purpose other than making a very strong case for forced sterilization. It really should have started with your parents, but at least we have a chance to keep the damage from spreading. I realize the chances of your reproducing are remote, but I don’t think we should take any unnecessary risks. Anyone know if there is a standard Cesspool procedure for this operation? Sledgehammer? Flamethrower?

[Guest Mike]

Does your login name reflect the medical equipment your parents (and all of us) wish they had used rather than conceiving you?

[Buzzsaw]

Originally posted by Mike:

Does your login name reflect the medical equipment your parents (and all of us) wish they had used rather than conceiving you?

Here is a little advice, kiddie: before you press the Add Reply button, take a deep breath, count to ten (that’s the number of fingers most humans outside of your immediate family have), and read what you have just typed. You may find that, although your spelling and grammar are correct, you are making absolutely no sense. As near as I can tell, you are suggesting that my parents should have become doctor/lumberjacks before I was conceived. That is quite the put down.

Maybe we don’t need a sledgehammer. Maybe one of the seniors around here could just use that old brick.

[Guest Mike]

Hey Buzzbrain - I'm sorry I used a little subtlety - I promise never to tax your non-existant mental resources again.

The implication (is that word too big for you?? well tough titties then) is that your parents would rather have used a buzzsaw to surgicaly remove their reproductive systems, without anaesthetic, rather than conceive you, had they known what they were creating.

And we would all have applauded their decision and provided directions as to where to make the cuts.

But that's 20/20 hindsight...which always a wonderful thing....unless it's your hind we're sighting.

[Buzzsaw]

Originally posted by Mike:

Hey Buzzbrain - I'm sorry I used a little subtlety ....

It’s not called subtlety -- it is called illiteracy. Actually, the problem is not just that you can’t write clearly; it is that you can’t even think clearly. What a sad struggle it must be for you every day. You had better start memorizing the McDonald’s menu right now. With your handicaps, you are going to need every advantage you can get in the job market

[Panzer Leader]

Actually, Buzzsaw, besides their alternative Braille menu, McDonalds, also thoughfully offers a picture menu. Interestingly, they also offer a picture cash register(!) I guess for those illeterates who want to tend drawer. Indeed, I worked there for a single evening (many moons ago) before gorging myself on Big Macs and walking out, vowing never to return.

What I want to know from mike's post is how do you tax something that doesn't exist?

[rleete]

Will you two shut your damn pie holes. Sheesh, this is the MBT, not the "lonely geek boys pissing contest". This lame, repetitive, drivel is best taken to an outside venue. Like the playground after summer school is out, kiddies. I know the "teachers" frown on violence on the little blue bus, but you can always wait until their backs are turned. A pen in the eyesocket would do wonders...for the rest of us at least.

[Guest Mike]

Who the heck invited DeLete into this mutual admiration society??

Look 'ere sonny - if no-one else is gonna do any taunting around here then you're jsut gonna have to put up with the good stuff.

I know you don't recognise a decetn taunt if it choked you - the normal standard has been lower than the putrid rotten mess in the pool's lint filter.

But it's slowly getting better.

Well it was.

Until you poked your gawd-awful nose in.

You could hire that nose out to the Aussies as sunshade for a boatload of refugees - that way the average IQ here AND in Aussie would be increased.

[Leeo]

Originally posted by what's-his-face:

Indeed, I worked there for a single evening (many moons ago) before gorging myself on Big Macs and walking out, vowing never to return.

I worked my way (okay, part of the way since it took me 12 years to scrape up the cash, gumption, and attention span to complete the B.S. degree(which incidentally makes me imminently qualified to post in these dripping halls)(go ahead and make fun. It's in your nature(or nurture(are you keeping track of the parentheses?(If you are, you're so anal that you burp brown)))) through college at McDonald's nights and in a lumber mill on weekends.

Well, I could sling those burgers like you couldn't believe. Okay, you might believe it, but only if you've ever been covered in vaporized dead cow fat. But I did flip some ground bovine flesh, let me tell you. Or don't let me. It really doesn't matter. (You're not stupid enough to still be reading along, are you? Your room-mate/spouse/children/peers can see your lips moving.)

Where'd my beer go?

Any-who, I worked at McDonald's, baby (or they worked at making me a cog in their wheel(see? Them damn parentheses again)). And you know what? I'm a big white fella who sweats a lot. Now I tried to wipe my brow surreptitiously, but a big white sweaty guy can only do so much. So, on occasion, while putting down 12 new burgers on the turn of the 12 previous burgers (a 12/12 turn in the intricate McDonalds jargon of the day), I would drip a few droplets of sweat from my brow upon the fried dead cow.

But at least I washed my hands after taking a dump, unlike the guy who handled the lettuce and tomatoes.

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Croda:

Crodaburg in a sense embodies everything that is good about the CessPool. In another sense, it is the most maniacal and ridiculous conglomerate of pixelated pixelations ever to see a 15" monitor since 'Leisure Suit Larry Goes to Prague.

Oh yes, M'Lud, Crodaburg is that and so much more!

Let's see. R_Leete of the Odiferous Feet and I have been playing it since sometime mid March I believe. We might have finished it by now, but he's from Rochester and, well...[stage whisper]he's a bit slow, you know.[/stage whisper]

I must say that we're almost done now. I think we're on turn 46 of the 50. As for viable fighters, we've been reduced to hurling our own fecal matter at each other, much like enraged baboons. Him being German, they are quite messy and smell like cabbage that's been left in the trunk of a '65 Chevy Impala on a hot day.

In New Jersey.

All the saurkraut, I suppose.

All in all, it's taught me a thing or two about hatred. If that was your reason for having me play it, I fully understand and appreciate the lesson. As I'm sure you will understand and appreciate the fact that when I do finish Crodaburg, regardless of the outcome, I fully intend to show up on your doorstep with my lucky 5-iron and I shall beat you into a fine powder.

Just so we understand each other.

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Originally posted by Mike:

You could hire that nose out to the Aussies as sunshade for a boatload of refugees - that way the average IQ here AND in Aussie would be increased.

Speaking of which, the <U>great</U> and <U>world renowned</U> continent of Oz is about to participate in a National IQ Test - on the 6th of August on Channel 9, I believe. Two Oz genii in the form of Eddie McGuire and Catriona Rowntree (yeah - she is the millionheiress who owns the chocolate factory at Heir's Rock) will host the show.

I have already registered and fully expect my stunning interlect to break the 300pts IQ barrier, thus eclipsing Einstein and the Pope (you know - the guy who made those great washing machines back in the '50's). I shall keep you all posted, as I realise you will all be waiting with your collective baited breaths.

Speaking of which, isn't it <U>great</U> that yer brain gets smarter as you get older? Oh, I nearly fergot - 2 August, 1951 was a VERY good year. Can't quite remember why though.

Sir Flamin' Olde Bugger AJ

PSST: Scaredy cat Boo-baloo sent me an e-mail to tell me he is afraid to play against me anymore. How sweet. I understand your pain.

[Edited TWICE 'coz I got the IQ test date wrong! DOH!]

[ August 01, 2002, 09:43 PM: Message edited by: AussieJeff ]

[Leeo]

Originally posted by AussieJeff:

[Edited TWICE 'coz I got the IQ test date wrong! DOH!]

You just can't improve upon some posts.

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Since I am in celebratory mode, I thought you would all be dying to read the following entertaining C'mon Wealthy Games Update:

Country / Gold Medals / Pop(Million) / Gold p/p

Australia / 52 / 19.6 / 0.000002652

England / 39 / 59.7 / 0.000000652

Canada / 21 / 31.5 / 0.000000666

What do these telling statistics tell us, boys and girls?

That's right! Oz is a sports stats lover's paradise!

AJ

[Guest Mike]

Nah - it tells us that Orzies are sports mad and that's why they're all easy beats in CM

[Leeo]

Originally posted by AussieJeff:

Since I am in celebratory mode, I thought you would all be dying to read the following entertaining C'mon Wealthy Games Update:

Country / Gold Medals / Pop(Million) / Gold p/p

Australia / 52 / 19.6 / 0.000002652

England / 39 / 59.7 / 0.000000652

Canada / 21 / 31.5 / 0.000000666

What do these telling statistics tell us, boys and girls?

That's right! Oz is a sports stats lover's paradise!

AJ

Ahh, it's so nice to see such glaring proof of idiocy. Now if only we can get Phillies Phan to show, we'll have a double-shot of dunce-hood.

Sports? Feh! I can get more sport from picking my nose.

"E's a fighter!"

[Harv]

Ya know, you whole lot is so fermin worthless that I can't think of a single one of you that I'd even let suck the fart out of my butt.

Just had to get that off my chest. Gamey updates tomorrow.

[CMplayer]

Who let all these sadsacks in? What are they babbling about? This page 3 sounds like a jubilee medley of the 10 all-time least interesting General Forum threads. For everyones edification we _don't care_ about cricket, rugby, quoits, hurling or any other weird games. Well, maybe hurling. And Mike and Buzzsaw, you're embarrassing the couples at the other tables. Git stoofed the both of you!

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Originally posted by MrSpkr:

Joe --

I presume the usual (a plain envelope containing unmarked, nonsequential bills in a variety of smaller denominations) will suffice?

Steve

Ain't that just typical of a solicitor?

For a "real pro" like you to solicit underhand assistance from a dodgy mortgage banker is as low as you can get. Unless of course you sent Das Justikar a sweaty wad of counterfeit bills.

Then you would just plain suck, which is a damned sight better than you can play CM, you gamey French lurvin' Francophile. I used to wonder why the FROGS had to be part of every QB you play. Then it hit me - YOU REALLY LOVE THOSE LITTLE GUYS!! That funny lilting/guttural language they spout as you nervously mow them down gives you such a - thrill.

Well, lemme tell ya' pal, MY gallant gallic (garlic?) cheese eaters under the command of Mon Petite Generale Flosse are champagning at the bit to give your jackass jackboots a damned good frogmarching off'n the next map you can manage to occupy. You see, the French just LOVE revenge. I take it you won't mind when the guillotine raises it's ugly head - oh, haha.. funny French joke there!

Not being the cowardly type, I assume you will accept the bile-bomb about to splat into your e-box. A tasty morsel, I think you'll find.

Sir Flamin' AJ

[Guest Mike]

Originally posted by CMplayer:

This page 3 sounds

Ah - at last - a right tit.

Now it's a proper page 3!

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Originally posted by CMplayer:

For everyones edufication we_Swiss_are_insanely_jealous_because_we_ aren't_ any_good_at_any_sports_or_CM_in_particular.

I would have thought that was stating the bleeding obvious, you Finnish twat!

AJ

[ August 02, 2002, 04:48 AM: Message edited by: AussieJeff ]

[Andreas]

Originally posted by Harv:

Ya know, you whole lot is so fermin worthless that I can't think of a single one of you that I'd even let suck the fart out of my butt.

Just had to get that off my chest. Gamey updates tomorrow.

Harv, the only reason you are not a sheep-shagger is that court order they put onto you, abolishing your rights to animal husbandry, since you would not get the actual meaning even when the judge hammered it into your demented farmboy head. I am sure you can hold the fleece for Mace anytime though, I noticed the shine in his eye at your last post.

Anyways, the purpose of my post is of course not reinterating what everybody here knew already. In actual fact, I am looking for someone to carve up post 20th September, and your last desperate email is still making me chuckle. So I thought I'll ask you for a waltz round the Steppe.

Here is how it will work. You order the game, receive it, ask your wife to unpack and install it for you, fire it up (the game!), start a QB, and send me the setup. You are free to choose what you like, with the following restrictions: variable rarity, max. 1,000 points, choose a big map.

AAR to be provided here.

The rest of you tossers can go and get stuffed for the time being.

[Andreas]

Originally posted by Geier:

We've been going for over two years now.

If you do not know The Rules, do a search.

That is all.

No it is not. Being Swedish does not make an excuse for being ****. Although Swedish women can do whatever they like in my book.

Now I just remembered that Harv is not the only semi-pathetic figure populating this thread, there is also you. Since you are the forum's Kurt Wallander lookalike, and I quite enjoy reading about the miserable sod's dreary life, I thought I brighten up your's by offering you the same deal as Harv. If you can take your eyes of 'Wet Attack' that is. You know what to do, and I will be sitting here practising my CMBB tactics, ready to chew you up and spit you out at a mere moment's notice.

The rest of you verminous low-life scum, well, you know the drill...