Since I'm not Peng, How can I be Challenged?

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Yeknodathon:

{snipped a rather large volume of incomprehensible nonsense}

Translation: please give instruction on the birds and bees to avoid further embarrassment

Idjit Yeknod

Here's a thought for you Yeknodathon, don't TRY to be funny. It seems that you get in the most trouble when you TRY to be witty and have to work so hard putting something together. The best wit is that which just shows up, unannounced as it were, full blown and fully formed and requiring little further embellishment.

Let's have a test, shall we? Let's see if the assembled membership would care to venture a guess as to what the bloody hell you're talking about. Anyone ... anyone ... Bueller?

Joe

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by Leeo:

I'll say 5 Hail Mary's and a couple mea culpas, and then see if you will ever get your nicotine-stained fingers on my soul.

Let me check the books...

*flip, flip, flip*

Ah, here you are... too late boy-o, you're already scheduled for the fast elevator goin' down

[Speedy]

Joe come fly away with me.

[Lars]

Originally posted by Sock Monkey:

Some of my family is from Minnesoda, Lars and I've spent my fair share of time there, so I understand that sarcasm is largely lost on you sub-Canadians, due probably to the combined action of the numbing effects of winter and exsanguination by mosquitos throughout the rest of the year (and plus lots of them are Swedes ya betcha, but that's another matter), but you really are beginning to try my patience. Anyway, I doubt that you could pry yourself away from editing your Lake Woebegon fan-fiction 'zine or scrawling yet another angry letter on tree bark to the Coen brothers for their portrayal of your state in Fargo (I've been to Brainerd, Lars and it isn't half as pretty in real life -- much more of a strip mall and less of an idyllic woodsy town) to play anything like a serious game of Combat Mission, but thanks for cranking up the ol' kerosene generator long enough to share your thoughts. If however sometime in the distant future they ever run a real power line over the empty schnapps bottles out to your icehouse and the lake sturgeon aren't biting, you can feel free to send a setup. How about a nice winter scenario with lots and lots of snow and foul weather, preferably in the dark with nary a building in sight. I'm new here, so I figure the least I can do is spot you the home field advantage.

Much better. See, I knew you could do it. Didn't even have to work blue.

Your doom will be winging its way towards you as soon as I can be reasonable bothered.

BTW, Brainerd is for the tourists, so you just keep on going there.

[Lars]

Originally posted by Agua Perdido:

Try this: install CM at work! Fer criminy's sake, that's the only place I can get any turns done.

Damn You!!!

I almost snorted my Bourbon out my nose.

As if CM would run on my work computer. It has trouble keeping up with solitare.

[Patchy]

Originally posted by Speedy:

Joe come fly away with me.

Oh no you don't! You're not going take Joe away from the Pool...besides he is much to strong to give in to your temptation.

Persephone

[Stuka]

Originally posted by Persephone:

Oh no you don't! You're not going take Joe away from the Pool...besides he is much to strong to give in to your temptation.

Don't you be so sure, Herr Speedy is a fine example of Aussie manhood and Joe is from Utah where that sort of thing is almost compulsory.

[Patchy]

Originally posted by Yeknodathon:

Oh, Dark Lady what I silly idjit for forgetting the quire sponsor.

Translation: dum-de-dum-de-dum-de-daaaaaa, dum-de-dum-de-dum-de, daaaa.

Hmmmm, yes, yes, still a bit confusing. I'll try again.

Translation: Dummmmm..... dummmmmm.... duuuummmm..... duummmm

Oh, bother, forgot the quire.

Translation: Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmm

Oh, erm Dark Lady? Erm, a matter of delicacy. Yer see, I have a letter, a secret letter from... erm... well, er somewhere near an airforce base suggesting.... er... yer might be... well, errrrrrr, opposite of "she" and that this inclination produces testosterone to such a level so as produce activity of a harsh and violent nature. Me Lady, I have to report, the word "aggressive" was bandied about. Me Lady, as yer know, since me little "incident", violence is swift and sharp but I've never noticed any whiskers. Dark Lady, I only hope the villainous cur falls on yer mercy as a supplicant to beg forgiveness for this horrendous slur. Needless, to say, me Lady, this donkey defends yer honour in the fog.

Ashamed is the sponsor who gives shelter to such a foul and ignorant quire.

Translation: please give instruction on the birds and bees to avoid further embarrassment

Idjit Yeknod

Idjit, are you trying to tell me that Joe's squire is the pillock in need of instruction?

Persephone

[Sledge59]

The fact that he spelled it quire should be a whopping clue.

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Persephone:

Idjit, are you trying to tell me that Joe's squire is the pillock in need of instruction?

Persephone

And here we have ONE vote for:

Beats the ****e out of me.

Thanks for voting Patch

As to the scurrilous suggestions about sexual choices in Utah, I would remind the group that Utah "boasts" a 40 something female self-proclaimed virgin occupying the OFFICIAL State position of Pornography Czar. In THIS state, deviant behavior is defined as doing it in the kitchen, never mind that ... other ... stuff.

Joe

[dalem]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

As to the scurrilous suggestions about sexual choices in Utah, I would remind the group that Utah "boasts" a 40 something female self-proclaimed virgin occupying the OFFICIAL State position of Pornography Czar. In THIS state, deviant behavior is defined as doing it in the kitchen, never mind that ... other ... stuff.

Joe

Hmm. I sort of consider myself the "Pornography Czar" of Minnesota. Purely unofficial, of course.

[Lawyer]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Persephone:

Idjit, are you trying to tell me that Joe's squire is the pillock in need of instruction?

Persephone

And here we have ONE vote for:

Beats the ****e out of me.

Thanks for voting Patch

As to the scurrilous suggestions about sexual choices in Utah, I would remind the group that Utah "boasts" a 40 something female self-proclaimed virgin occupying the OFFICIAL State position of Pornography Czar. In THIS state, deviant behavior is defined as doing it in the kitchen, never mind that ... other ... stuff.

Joe</font>

[Lawyer]

Originally posted by Sock Monkey:

Some of my family is from Minnesoda, Lars and I've spent my fair share of time there, so I understand that sarcasm is largely lost on you sub-Canadians, due probably to the combined action of the numbing effects of winter and exsanguination by mosquitos throughout the rest of the year (and plus lots of them are Swedes ya betcha, but that's another matter), but you really are beginning to try my patience. Anyway, I doubt that you could pry yourself away from editing your Lake Woebegon fan-fiction 'zine or scrawling yet another angry letter on tree bark to the Coen brothers for their portrayal of your state in Fargo (I've been to Brainerd, Lars and it isn't half as pretty in real life -- much more of a strip mall and less of an idyllic woodsy town) to play anything like a serious game of Combat Mission, but thanks for cranking up the ol' kerosene generator long enough to share your thoughts. If however sometime in the distant future they ever run a real power line over the empty schnapps bottles out to your icehouse and the lake sturgeon aren't biting, you can feel free to send a setup. How about a nice winter scenario with lots and lots of snow and foul weather, preferably in the dark with nary a building in sight. I'm new here, so I figure the least I can do is spot you the home field advantage.

First, hit the DELETE key before posting to spare us this embarrassing display of your "opinions".

Second, if you have not the fortitude and decency to DELETE your nonsense before posting, then hit the ENTER key after every two sentences to provide us with some breathing room and eyespace. If you can't count to TWO or don't know what a sentence is, then SOD OFF.

[ February 28, 2002, 08:34 PM: Message edited by: Lawyer ]

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Lawyer:

Hey, I knew Dee Dee Coridini in Washington when she was YOUNG, and kinda, well just a little bit attractive. Then she went back to Salt Lake to make big bucks from the ski barons.

But I never figured her to be a virgin, even then...

Or are you talking about another Mormon wife?

While I agree that the concept of "virgin" and "wife" haven't ALWAYS been mutually exclusive (I can think of at least one example right off the bat), you don't commonly find that in Utah. My understanding, and you understand that I haven't delved into the matter with any real depth of scholarly research {shudder}, is that she is NOT a wife though I have no doubt that she IS a Mormon.

Thank you for your interest in Utah, the missionaries have been advised of your presence and will begin daily visits shortly.

Joe

p.s. I can see that DeeDee might well have been cute in her early days ... and a name like DeeDee always has promise.

[Stuka]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

In THIS state, deviant behavior is defined as doing it in the kitchen, never mind that ... other ... stuff.

So what is the state sanctioned view on the ogling of 3D internet porn then Joe?

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Stuka:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

In THIS state, deviant behavior is defined as doing it in the kitchen, never mind that ... other ... stuff.

So what is the state sanctioned view on the ogling of 3D internet porn then Joe?</font>

[Sledge59]

I nominate this thread title as best quiz question for SSNs.

[OGSF]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Idjit Yeknod

Here's a thought for you Yeknodathon, don't TRY to be funny.

Joe

[Sock Monkey]

Eeek, Lars, it looks like half the men on my side were turned out of the old volks home, still shellshocked from The Great War, and the other half didn't, in fact, survive it at all. Marlow has a macabre sense of scenario design. So be careful, you're little green army men (and probabaly their Pershings, eh?) face Adolf's personal 1st Nazi Zombie Corps(e)!

[Stuka]

No worries there, Joe.

A nudge is as good as a wink to a blind man eh?

Move along people, nothing to see here. Nope, nothing at all. Definitely no porn here, no siree no porn at all, especially none of the 3D variety.

[Marlow]

Cmplayer … Cmplayer … [mutter]Where is that lazy good for nothing squire …[/mutter]

Drag your carcass in here and tell me if you have Sludge’s ears yet.

Oh, and Sir Alphabet,

How goes the battle? Are you still enjoying it?

And one last thing. I hate you Speedy above all Aussies. Gamey flamethrower using bastige. Don't you know they are supposed to be useless.

[ February 28, 2002, 10:51 PM: Message edited by: Marlow ]

[Patchy]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

And here we have ONE vote for:

Beats the ****e out of me.

Thanks for voting Patch

Joe, I think you misunderstood my response. I understood Yeknod. That was actually a hint for you to find out what your new quire has been up to. I just didn't want to be blunt about it.

Persephone

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Persephone:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

And here we have ONE vote for:

Beats the ****e out of me.

Thanks for voting Patch

Joe, I think you misunderstood my response. I understood Yeknod. That was actually a hint for you to find out what your new quire has been up to. I just didn't want to be blunt about it.

Persephone</font>

[Marlow]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

ALL my posts and find the funniest one. The choice will, I admit, be difficult but if you have any trouble determining which is funny (considering your record so far you seem to have problems in that area), don't hesitate to ask me.

I don't know if donkeys can handle abstract concepts like null sets.

[Patchy]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Patch, it's for the lad's own good. There's no need to pretend to try to salvage his feelings, he'll be the better for it once he stops being so damned bloody annoying. Think of it as ... tough love.

Joe, how could you not like a cute furry donkey with his long ears, fuzzy fur and sad eyes looking at you longingly...admit you like the donkey...don't worry...I promise we won't make fun of you...just admit it.

Persephone