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For whom the Peng Challenges

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Panzer Leader Senior Member

Panzer Leader

Posted
Posted
Originally posted by Lars:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Persephone:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by PondScum:

The hideous, awful truth of why Panzer Leader loves CMBB so much - it lets him play "one handed", if you know what I mean. And I think you do...

PanzerOneHanded.jpg

Hey Panzer Leader...Which grass mod are you using?

Persephone</font>

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Joe Shaw Senior Member

Joe Shaw

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Turns are ... OUT! Both CMBO and CMBB so I think I'm up to date with everyone. I've already received responses from AussieJeff, Papa Khann, Wildman, Agua Perdido and dalem who, apparently haven't the sense to come in out of the rain as they appear far too anxious for the inevitable defeat. Perhaps it's the very inevitability that makes it so attractive to them. Another philosophical question for the CessPool I suppose ... along with the ever popular "Just how far CAN you stick your finger up your nostril anyway?"

In related news, the proposed scenario between that finest and most loyal of squires, Agua Perdido, and that utter and complete loser Panzer Leader has been revised and HOPEFULLY it will now meet with the approval of Seanachai.

Joe

EDITED to point out that Seanachai can't place VLs worth a damn.

[ October 07, 2002, 10:07 PM: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]

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Roborat Senior Member

Roborat

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Posted

Well, all you weasel excrement sniffers, I am back. And don't pretend that you noticed or cared that I was gone, 'cause I know better than that. And what is with all these SSNs, squires and knights running around that I have never heard of? What happened to the crowd control? I go off on a knightly crusade and when I return, it looks like a Twilight Zone episode of the Mickey Mouse club, unfortunately with Roseanne, not Annette, in the tight sweater.

Too all those who I was playing back in April (May??, I can't remember), if you so desire, and still have the files, we can pick up where we left off (generally me getting spanked), or not, your choice. I remember I was playing speedy , but I cannot remember who else was on my dance card.

Take this advice to heart. NEVER, and I mean NEVER, try to upgrade both computers at the same time. It took me four months to get everything sorted out and convince either machine to see the hard drive that held CM, and then much further work just to get the game to run without spontaneously crashing.

My copy of CMBB finally arrived Oct. 3, and thanks to Battlefront's customs gift declaration and 5 dollar value, the Canadian government didn't take any more money from me, thanks guys. I haven't been able to play much yet, what with getting sent to Wainwright for the weekend to freeze most of my extremeties off. Saturday started with three inches of wet snow on the ground and it went downhill from there (Dorosh will get this, some others will too, ask around if you need some 'splaining). I have installed it to verify that I don't have the problems others are reporting, and I am starting to learn the ins and outs of the new game. I see that I am going to have to find new ways to get my men slaughtered, as the old ways just don't work as effectively anymore.

And guess what??? my name is in the manual (superiority dance mode on). That's right, I have been immortalized as having done my small part to help with the bestest game ever :D . And I didn't send in one of those boring tank models either, everytime you use a 222 armoured car, you are using my model. So you may now bask in some small shadow of my reflected glory. Go on, go out and show your friends (all three of them, only two of which are imaginary) my name in the manual, and tell them that you actually know someone in the credits. Autographs are available in the lobby at modest cost, and if you ask nice, I might condescend to sign you copy of the manual (superiority dance mode off).

Well, I'm off again to that other branch of the pool, just wanted to rub it in a little.

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Papa Khann Senior Member

Papa Khann

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Posted
Originally posted by Roborat:

bunch of blather, blather, blather...

... everytime you use a 222 armoured car, you are using my model...

Jeez, and here I was wondering why my 222's always get blown up so readily. Usually they just self-destruct driving over open ground. Spontaneous implosion. And I thought it was just because I suck at CM.

At least when I thought it was my fault, I had the hope (however faint) that someday I could learn to employ the vehicle properly. That I could better myself. Evolve. But no, you have to go and burst my bubble, deny me my hope, cast me into the depths of despair. It's not my fault at all. That vehicle is always going to suck. It's all because the model was done by a freaking Canuck. And to add insult to injury, not even by a Canuck smart enough to deny his heritage. No, just another silly polar bear shagger too dim to claim he's from some less egregious country where pillocks are only slightly less rampant, like Texas or Ohio.

Just my luck. Figures.

Papa

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Seanachai Senior Member

Seanachai

Posted
Posted
Originally posted by Roborat:

Well, all you weasel excrement sniffers, I am back...

Hey, Rat, Captain Foobar swung by the last incarnation of the Thread looking for you. Said it was time for you two to tussle again.

Christ, how we laughed about that match. What was it, 8 months of sheer sodding horror that no one could believe you actually played to conclusion?

Good times, good times.

Let the Captain know where you are. We can hardly wait.

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imported_Wildman Senior Member

imported_Wildman

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Posted

Bah! and Feh! The turns are returned and you all have got to be the most gamey bunch of code-hacking bastiges in the world. Except for The Bard who's Canuks are being killed in such horrific numbers, even my harded SS troops weep with horror.

Mr Spkr is busy running the entire Panzer Peiper group over my 2 MPs. He will win, but wont have any infantry for the follow up battle. I just love 155m and 105mm artillery. The boomies are really cool.

The forces of Scaliness and I have started our CMBB operation. He's losing already, I can feeling. Of course, I'm still bleeding from the shelacking that I'm getting in our CMBO operation from one Berli who enjoys giving the Germans Panthers and the Ami 75mm Shermans...Oh ya, play balance indeed. We now have proof that he has Goanna's soul.

Speedy and I are busy flanking each other in CMBO, and by the way...don't think I didn't notice that gamey CREW rush of the flag In mid-game! Gamey Bastige!

As for the rest, your obviously just not important enough for me to actually remember that I'm killing you slowly, with great enjoyment.

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Seanachai Senior Member

Seanachai

Posted
Posted

Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

So YOU did the 222. WHERE'S THE FECKIN SPARE TIRE???

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

What blanket mod are you using?

Joe

Alright...that was funny. Didn't think the aging pillock still had any in him.

However, Old Foul Joe, your cretinous aspersions regarding my ability to correctly complete the conditions for the match between Panzer Leader and Agua Perdido are not only unwarranted slanders, but reveal more about your own fears and inadequacies than they do about any imagined failings on my part.

First off, your almost completely nonsensical quibble about the map being of 'Kursk' proportions, I laid to rest in no uncertain fashion in my email to you. I will not repeat it here, revealing your almost shameful inability to grasp distances greater than the distance between your refrigerator, your computer chair, and the telly.

Clearly 'golf' does not prepare one for a world in which an 800 meter by 800 meter map does not equate to the sort of stage where continental drift is played out.

Also, it's clear to me that you've had some sort of deeply traumatic experience with a map where the VLs were distributed more than 50 meters apart. Which, I imagine, covers just about every game you've ever played in either incarnation of CM. So your repositioning of the VLs on the map I sent you is easily understood as a longing to give to your Squire the advantages you never enjoyed; that is, to have the VLs so tightly clustered that you don't have to think twice about where to put your units.

On the other hand, you've set the poor bugger up so that even an egregious halfwit like Panzer Leader won't have to devote much thought to how and where to target his arty, and where to make the main thrust of his forces.

Well done, Joe.

Yours is the superiour intellect.

Normally to meet a tactician of your calibre, you have to watch old episodes of Star Trek and indulge in teary-eyed worship of that Panzer Leader quality officer, James T. Kirk.

[ October 07, 2002, 11:55 PM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

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Guest PondScum

Guest PondScum

Posted
Posted
Originally posted by Papa Khann:

<font size=-1>Jeez, and here I was wondering why my 222's always get blown up so readily. Usually they just self-destruct driving over open ground. Spontaneous implosion. And I thought it was just because I suck at CM.</font>

You do, but that's not why your 222's are strewn across the field of battle. Admit it, lad, you have been bested by my 50mm Mortar of Doom.
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Seanachai Senior Member

Seanachai

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Posted
Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

we came to the consensus that we woould rather see a "Red-belly Seanachai" over a "Burt Seanachai Reynolds" anyday.

I think he was a bit nervous of bringing this up with Patch so I thought I'd share.

You utter pillock! That's not Burt Reynolds! Clearly I've been afixed to the studly frame of Nicholas Cage!

Now, if only Persephone could attach my own sorry self to his income, rather than his body...

Be that as it may, I must say that I'd much rather remain as I am (although I wouldn't mind the income), rather than all this 'let's put Seanachai's visage on something disturbing' sort of fol-de-rol.

While many men would doubtless flex and posture at the idea of being suddenly granted the muscular (and disturbingly furry) body of Nicholas Cage (as represented in Persephone's base slander against my own form), I know myself to be more than just some body for women to make dog noises over!

You see, I have a mind.

In fact, I am a mind. Perhaps the greatest mind of the Peng Challenge Thread. Or at least the most coherent and intelligent mind.

I wish I could say more to my own advantage. Comparisons to you lot don't really do much more than damn with faint praise. Or rather, 'praise with faint damning'.

But there it is.

Now, on to the main purpose of my post.

I wish to take the vile swine, Malakovsky to Squire.

It seems meet. I read his posts, which go on and on, and while plowing through his verbiage, and puzzling over his odd constructs, I recognize in him the very anti-thesis of Berli.

It seems only fitting that I should take him to Squire.

Upon his acceptance we'll consider it, then, a done deal, and I'll introduce him to his seniour, R Leete.

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Malakovski Senior Member

Malakovski

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Posted
Originally posted by Seanachai:

I wish to take the vile swine, Malakovsky to Squire.

It seems meet. I read his posts, which go on and on, and while plowing through his verbiage, and puzzling over his odd constructs, I recognize in him the very anti-thesis of Berli.

It seems only fitting that I should take him to Squire.

Upon his acceptance we'll consider it, then, a done deal, and I'll introduce him to his seniour, R Leete.

Then let it be so! And quick, before any of these slow-witted, filth-spewing, obscurantists can raise a hue and cry against.

They seem all to have been lulled into a dreamy trance, no doubt filled with lustful thoughts inspired by my lurid descriptions of Australian pederasty. Their posts slow to a trickle, and I dare not think of what they may be doing under their respective tables, or what sheep-themed websites might now entertain them. You, on the other hand, seem unaffected.

Surprising, very surprising, but the articulate must stick together, rocks amidst the surging sea of idiocy...

[ October 08, 2002, 01:45 AM: Message edited by: Malakovski ]

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Seanachai Senior Member

Seanachai

Posted
Posted
Originally posted by Malakovski:

Then let it be so! And quick, before any of these slow-witted, filth-spewing, obscurantists can raise a hue and cry against...

Surprising, very surprising, but the articulate must stick together, rocks amidst the surging sea of idiocy...

Done! Bags me the weird Philosopher Squire, then, and you lot can kiss me hand.

Your seniour in the Bardic House is R Leete. He should be a Knight by now, but between finding a job (done), constant illness (hopefully behind him), and a completely daft project to build a drivable, working Tiger I model (ongoing), he hasn't enough higher brain function to feel comfortable with rising to his full potential. Treat him with utter contempt, but support him to the utmost against all the other lower life forms that might give the lad any ****e.

Also, please to be so good as to introduce yourself to Lady Persephone and the Fair Emma (also known as Dame YK2). Do so with all respect, many sweeping terms of 'at your service', and with full acknowledgement of the fact that you will never be worthy of their notice, but, if they notice you, you will ultimately prove to be worthy.

Finally, compose a couplet or so acknowledging the Justicar, Joe Shaw.

Nothing fancy, mind, and feel free to play on the concept of 'Old Foul Joe', drinking watered down Lavacol, and Mormon Wives.

Alternatively, do a brief essay on 'Peng: Myth, Man, or Monster'.

Remember that he is, in fact, all three.

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Mace Senior Member

Mace

Posted
Posted
Originally posted by Roborat:

And guess what??? my name is in the manual (superiority dance mode on). That's right, I have been immortalized as having done my small part to help with the bestest game ever :D . And I didn't send in one of those boring tank models either, everytime you use a 222 armoured car, you are using my model. So you may now bask in some small shadow of my reflected glory. Go on, go out and show your friends (all three of them, only two of which are imaginary) my name in the manual, and tell them that you actually know someone in the credits. Autographs are available in the lobby at modest cost, and if you ask nice, I might condescend to sign you copy of the manual (superiority dance mode off).

Well, I'm off again to that other branch of the pool, just wanted to rub it in a little.

*Yawn*

Only one model?

With two of my models listed and as a beta tester, I can rub it in a lot.

Mace

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