Panzer Leader Posted January 20, 2002 Share Posted January 20, 2002 As has been the traditions since the time of yore, let this post serve as a warning to those who might tresspass in these slime-coated halls, and let it be a reminder to those once reviled and now (barely) tolerated. Remember, newbie scum, you too may one day achieve the impossible heights of being ignored and trod upon, but only, ONLY if you heed this post. Heed it well, for if you stray from the paths we lay out for you here, it will be to your own destruction and embarrassment. Part One: Sod Off! That's right, scat, go away, getatta here. You are neither needed nor wanted, regardless of what your comically overblown confidence whispers in your ear. You are not as smart as you think you are (neither are we, but we MAKE the rules). Failing rule one, you have but one recourse to maintain your equilibrium and stave off a horrible fate. Sound Off Like ya got a pair! Yeah, that's right: like a pair, not about your pair! We don't want simpering weenies and we don't want ball-glorius wankers either. Challenge someone, someone SPECIFIC and fight them in a battle. Tell your thrills of victory, your agonies of defeat on the field of battle, not tales of your high speed new computer or your rich daddy. Adendum: Challenge some one low, a scum-sucking-newbie like yourself, or, if you are brave and cock-sure, maybe even a squire (do we have any left?) but don't waste a kanigget's time, they will simply scoff and point out your failures of manhood, or even worse, simply ignore you. Now, if you think you can achieve the challenge, only one more thing separates you from the glories of the Mutha Beautiful: Have half a brain and a modicum of wit. If you can do this, then do it; if you can't (and you KNOW who you are) then perhaps silence is best. In short: SOD OFF! [ Edited because that is how it should be. ] [ 01-19-2002: Message edited by: Panzer Leader ]</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted January 20, 2002 Share Posted January 20, 2002 Now that was just horrible. A horrible set of rules from a horrible little man. A horrible set of rules in a horribly titled thread posted by a horrible little man. Horrible, just horrible. You better HOPE this was an authorized thread Panzer Leader or I won't answer for the consequences, they could be ... Horrible. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted January 20, 2002 Share Posted January 20, 2002 I thought Joe was gone. Guess it's just not my day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OGSF Posted January 20, 2002 Share Posted January 20, 2002 Och! Mah poor wee span'l hae cam aintae mah hoose wi' a Croda hangin' fraim at's arrrse. Ah'll ge' mah stick an' knock at off! *swish* *squelch* *swish* *spludge* *swish* *splatter* Hae's a fighter an' noo mistake! SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCDJimmy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest PondScum Posted January 20, 2002 Share Posted January 20, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>In a previous incarnation of the MBT, my glorious liege dalem commanded: Once that is accomplished, shovel my walk and change the oil in my automobile. Calculate the cube roots of several large prime numbers using a broken slide rule, squeeze the anal glands of my friends' cats, write a letter to my congressman about the universal gravitational constant, and convince Ralph Nader that he can't help everyone no matter how hard he tries<hr></blockquote> Shovel your congressman, change the oil in your prime numbers, calculate the cube root of your automobile, squeeze the anal glands of Ralph Nader, write a letter to your friends' cats, and convince your sidewalk that it can't help everyone? Yes sir! Consider it done! PS Can I have gloves before tackling Ralphy? I hear he's got a bad case of the Crodas. [How could I get UBB wrong? Sob] [ 01-19-2002: Message edited by: PondScum ]</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slapdragon Posted January 20, 2002 Share Posted January 20, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by PondScum: [How could I get UBB wrong? Sob] <hr></blockquote> Because you are an SSN and thus presumably dumb as a stone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted January 20, 2002 Share Posted January 20, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by PondScum: Shovel your congressman, change the oil in your prime numbers, calculate the cube root of your automobile, squeeze the anal glands of Ralph Nader, write a letter to your friends' cats, and convince your sidewalk that it can't help everyone? Yes sir! Consider it done! PS Can I have gloves before tackling Ralphy? I hear he's got a bad case of the Crodas. [How could I get UBB wrong? Sob] [ 01-19-2002: Message edited by: PondScum ]<hr></blockquote> A) Very nice try, and perfectly acceptable for a newly-hatched squire. THX-1138) No, you do not get gloves. The Evil One A.K.A. Berli has suggested a quest to be placed upon then bloody back of newly-minted squires. A geas if you will. I like this idea. Know ye, O PondScum, that in addition the normal rules of the Pool for Knighthood, I hereby lay upon you the following Doom: You must journey to the far boundaries of the neighboring kingdom of Nobcheez and seek you there the dark lair of the evil wizard Welton. Welton has placed a curse on all the royal armories that has turned all of our swords into Minus 3 Cursed Backbiters. Seek ye the secret Fintoozler of.... Oh wait, wrong notes. Umm, why don't you make your next challenge as, oh, the French. Yeah, you have to win all of your remaining squire battles as the French. Yeah, that should do it. And did part 3 of our Snow Experiment get a Loss chalked up for OBSF agin me? Oh yes it did. Did Croda recently learn that the side armor of Panthers isn't very thick? Oh yes he did. More on that to come. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted January 20, 2002 Share Posted January 20, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by dalem: Did Croda recently learn that the side armor of Panthers isn't very thick? Oh yes he did. More on that to come.<hr></blockquote> Argh! I'm cursed! Cursed I tell you. CURSED! The Dalem is in the process of using the gamiest unit in the game to whoop-up on me. What unit you ask? The goddamnedsardinecanwithapopgunontop M4 Sherman!!! About 150 of them. I've gotten all but 4. Now I seem to be out of tanks, so my Panzer crews have taken to throwin cigarette butts at the green deathtraps. It sounds unorthodox but shows more promise than the dirt-clod attack the tried in round 11. I'll let you know how it turns out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted January 20, 2002 Share Posted January 20, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Hiram: Eagles<hr></blockquote> I have had quite enough of your foul language Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted January 20, 2002 Share Posted January 20, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by dalem: Umm, why don't you make your next challenge as, oh, the French. Yeah, you have to win all of your remaining squire battles as the French. Yeah, that should do it.<hr></blockquote> I detect no requirement to taunt. We must have taunting! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted January 20, 2002 Share Posted January 20, 2002 Yakupafurball, The setup was sent at 2:20pm on the 18th of this month. It was sent to alex.davis@uksymbol.com (I assume the 'UK' stands for the fact that you were not shipped off to Ozstralia as was intended) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted January 20, 2002 Share Posted January 20, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Berlichtingen: Yakupafurball, The setup was sent at 2:20pm on the 18th of this month. It was sent to alex.davis@uksymbol.com (I assume the 'UK' stands for the fact that you were not shipped off to Ozstralia as was intended)<hr></blockquote> ... there has been no cross border activity supporting the freedom fighters in Cuba or Scunthorpe... oh dear, I think its going to be crayons Gates-slut, turn 1 was a bit frantic? The top of that hill spewed forth a torrent of ant-like grey thingeys that proceeded to head, in no particular order or for that matter reason, for buildings, including a bunch of forementioned accommodation with some sort of question mark over their roofs... I really wouldn't do that... this frantic activity is very taxing on me eyes... can you just be a little more, well, relaxed about things, please... there's no cause for anxiety, me cloaking devices are on and I've really no intention of doing anything until I'm ready. Yeknod Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted January 20, 2002 Share Posted January 20, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Berlichtingen: Yakupafurball, The setup was sent at 2:20pm on the 18th of this month. It was sent to alex.davis@uksymbol.com (I assume the 'UK' stands for the fact that you were not shipped off to Ozstralia as was intended)<hr></blockquote> ...never heard of 'im, probably gone to New Zealand or Australia, can never remember which is the worse place... though of course our Antipodean cousins are also into the convict export business... take Rolf Harris... "tie me Kangeroo down, sport, tie me Kangaroo down (wobble board, wobble board)" - clear case of bank-robbing low-life if ever I did see one... I expect he'll turn up on Songs of Praise with that other criminal defect, Alan Titchmarsh and their moll, Flora Herd and conduct a spree of grand larceny and kidnapping around the UK... oh, I just MIGHT go and have a look... but just be aware that I WILL be charging overtime for this: Reason - Supernatural Gopher-man posted decidedly gamey setup at the weekend.... Yeknod [ 01-20-2002: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisl Posted January 20, 2002 Share Posted January 20, 2002 Status update on the Gate-slut who shall remain such until further notice The Petty demon soon to be known as Peter and I have traded first shots in the battle for Peng's name. The Über-lizard has put us in a death-match for the name of Peng. Berli has been given what is probably a battalion of high ground- pressure US armor on a very forested map in the rain, with wet ground. I have nothing but sharpshooters and assault boats. One of the VLs is accessible only by fording a stream, and Berli's Fords aren't likely to be able to do it. In our first exchange of fire, he's exposed some big TD that is trying to swing its turret fast enough to pick off a Panzerschreck team. The TD must be a Wolverine then, since a Hellcat has a fast enough turret to track a hummingbird at 15 feet. The schreck team is responding with harsh words and dirt kicked at the TD by the heels of their hob-nailed boots. I've also sent my troop purchases in the Battle for the Gnome's Hat off to Goanna. We should be exchanging files shortly, followed by me winning his cute little magic hat. [ 01-20-2002: Message edited by: chrisl ]</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patchy Posted January 20, 2002 Share Posted January 20, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by chrisl: Status update on the Gate-slut who shall remain such until further notice The Petty demon soon to be known as Peter and I have traded first shots in the battle for Peng's name. The Über-lizard has put us in a death-match for the name of Peng. Berli has been given what is probably a battalion of high ground- pressure US armor on a very forested map in the rain, with wet ground. I have nothing but sharpshooters and assault boats. One of the VLs is accessible only by fording a stream, and Berli's Fords aren't likely to be able to do it. In our first exchange of fire, he's exposed some big TD that is trying to swing its turret fast enough to pick off a Panzerschreck team. The TD must be a Wolverine then, since a Hellcat has a fast enough turret to track a hummingbird at 15 feet. The schreck team is responding with harsh words and dirt kicked at the TD by the heels of their hob-nailed boots. I've also sent my troop purchases in the Battle for the Gnome's Hat off to Goanna. We should be exchanging files shortly, followed by me winning his cute little magic hat. <hr></blockquote> Go Berli Go! Go Übergnome Go! Chrisl, I am challenging you to send me your photo. I get to do whatever I wish with it and all you get to do in exchange is to be humiliated. I consider this a fair challenge. Persephone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted January 20, 2002 Share Posted January 20, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Now that was just horrible. A horrible set of rules from a horrible little man. A horrible set of rules in a horribly titled thread posted by a horrible little man. Horrible, just horrible. You better HOPE this was an authorized thread Panzer Leader or I won't answer for the consequences, they could be ... Horrible. Joe<hr></blockquote> Dear Justaundercarriage Noted with interest forthcoming trial... which of the sparkling talent currently residing at http://www.simhq.com/simhq3/sims/boards/bbs/Forum35/HTML/007167-7.html ... is going to be tried (twitch, twitch)? (twitch)... did see an uncommon number of Pool officals (twitch) flaunting their wares around the (twitch) board.... with our gratitude (twitch) for allowing any 'ol SSN to wreak havoc back at home I humbly offer the award of ToT: Twit of Twitchers to yer list of honours.... (twitch) Do knights fly? (twitch) (twitch) Yeknod PS please inform stenographers that they must (twitch) ignore all twitching (twitch) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
**YK2** Posted January 20, 2002 Share Posted January 20, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by OGSF: Och! Mah poor wee span'l hae cam aintae mah hoose wi' a Croda hangin' fraim at's arrrse. Ah'll ge' mah stick an' knock at off! *swish* *squelch* *swish* *spludge* *swish* *splatter* Hae's a fighter an' noo mistake! SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCDJimmy<hr></blockquote> ROFLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL. Sheesh I almost spat coffee all over my monitor..... OGSF that was a Gem..... Strange thing is that no-one else seemed to notice just how funny it was..... Dae ye ken thit yon heedthebaws dinnae understone yer lingo laddie? whit a waste ah time an effort, maybe ye shood speel it oot fer them....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted January 20, 2002 Share Posted January 20, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Yeknodathon: Dear Justaundercarriage... Usual crap spewed by SSNs<hr></blockquote> XI) Justicar. Get it right G) What knights do outside this thread is none of your business. What knights do within this thread is none of your business. The only thing that is your business is learning new and exciting ways to Sod Off 12) I have resent the setup, but I have yet to see a return file. I begin to suspect your challenge was just a ploy to waste my time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisl Posted January 20, 2002 Share Posted January 20, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Persephone: Chrisl, I am challenging you to send me your photo. I get to do whatever I wish with it and all you get to do in exchange is to be humiliated. I consider this a fair challenge. <hr></blockquote> I suffered a vampire bite as an undergrad and no longer appear in photos. It only got me once before it was staked, so I can go outside in the daytime, and eat garlic and such. Just the photos and mirrors don't work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gates-slut Posted January 20, 2002 Share Posted January 20, 2002 Ok you pack of twirling phartknockers time for a gamey update: DonkeyThong - we apologize for the apparrent silly knees bent creeping about advance-type behavior of our SlutTruppen. We have no Idea how to play the game and therefore sort of just randomly click waypoints and stuff. And we are not playing on an XP machine. That was in refernce to the work issued lippitytop machine which is now dual boot: Win2K pro for actual work and stuff and the vile loathesome PoS XP so I can maybe learn how to work the GD thing since I am going to end up supporting horrid fetid festering pustules known as vice presidents and executives when they get XP laden Lippitytops of their very own. Kill me now please. Crodunk: Here is what our game is - FoW be damned - I have a company of volksstrumpets and an HMG. He has French Persons AND a Stuart. So far my side has fired Avagadro's Number of 'Shreck shots at the Stuart and missed by several tennis court widths each time. My infantry are running away and/or dying in heaps. It is not pretty. Berlio: Not much happening, but it seems that soon there will be. The Olde Firm: I have a platoon of SADUSEA Brits mounted in carriers - well they were mounted in carriers, its just that the carriers all got blowed up real good by a couple of AT guns that are about 11 miles away. The platoon is currently being torn to shreds by a half squad, a light machine gun and a geriatric ferret with no teeth. {b]Andreas send reinforcements or somefink. This is one of your concoctions and well maybe poor scenarios can ruin your day, but even good ones can make a month or two a hellish nightmare of PBEM. Uncle Stukey: How I hate him. A single shot from a big bad Easy Eight takes out my Big Cat. My patented disjointed and feckless infantry manhoovering is proving to be too much for me. We are running away and dying a lot. Lost awhile ago to the Bard. Did I forget anyone? Good. Piss off. Have I mentioned lately that I hate Micro$oft, Mr Gates and the rotten wizard-laden pile of squid poop called XP? No? Well I do. Gates-slut P.S. Justicar if you need any funding for your investigatesion I'd be happy to contribute. I just need an additional Stenographer to help with signing the checks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gates-slut Posted January 20, 2002 Share Posted January 20, 2002 chrisl is a chicken rat swine who is AFRAID!! AFRAID of having his picture treated by the good Persephone to its just and right doctoring. Chicken...chick chick chicky CHIRP! chicksl yeas that has a nice sound to it. Gates-slut soon to be Peng again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted January 20, 2002 Share Posted January 20, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Gates-slut: Ok you pack of twirling phartknockers time for a gamey update: DonkeyThong - we apologize for the apparrent silly knees bent creeping about advance-type behavior of our SlutTruppen. We have no Idea how to play the game and therefore sort of just randomly click waypoints and stuff. <hr></blockquote> Gates-slut Quite alright - I have no idea either. No matter, I shall just disengage cloaking devices to allow you to swarm nearer me positions and end this silly spectacle of tightl-clad SlutTruppen running around for Gophers. Please stay clear of buildings, at yer present rate they'll just bounce around the walls. Yeknod PS make Elvis one of yer drewling VPs so that the absent dawdler can obtain the means to send a turn... theres only limited pleasure from his ONLY turn and his crayon drawings look a bit disturbing. [ 01-20-2002: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gates-slut Posted January 20, 2002 Share Posted January 20, 2002 erm, Donkey? is the Tourette's syndrome bothering you again? Anyways, regarding your Query aboot there being an imposter Eeyore on the Thread of Threads, you might have missed it, but Peng branded Hiram as the Eeyore of the MBT a thread or two ago. Now, if you think that YOU are the rightful owner of that moniker then perhaps you could CHALLENGE sir Hiram for the right to bear it. Gates-slut Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest PondScum Posted January 20, 2002 Share Posted January 20, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by dalem: THX-1138) No, you do not get gloves. ... Umm, why don't you make your next challenge as, oh, the French. Yeah, you have to win all of your remaining squire battles as the French. Yeah, that should do it. <hr></blockquote> I'm not sure which I hate you for more, mon petite general. I guess the Crodas will eventually wash off, but the French? The land of retrograde maneuvers, smelly cheese and hairy armpits? You... you... Pawbroon-lover. Abner_Ringer has a setup awaiting him: he was waffling on about manhooverist battles and the myth of the Uber-Soldat, so naturally I chose the forces-of-gray to make the taunting all the sweeter. I predict a lot of attritionist-type death in his future. <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Berlichtingen: I detect no requirement to taunt. We must have taunting! <hr></blockquote> I detect no turns in my inbox, Old One Liner. [uBB still hates me] [ 01-20-2002: Message edited by: PondScum ]</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted January 20, 2002 Share Posted January 20, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Gates-slut: erm, Donkey? is the Tourette's syndrome bothering you again? Anyways, regarding your Query aboot there being an imposter Eeyore on the Thread of Threads, you might have missed it, but Peng branded Hiram as the Eeyore of the MBT a thread or two ago. Now, if you think that YOU are the rightful owner of that moniker then perhaps you could CHALLENGE sir Hiram for the right to bear it. Gates-slut<hr></blockquote> Gates-slut I fear the goat's-breath, wheezing brassica does not quite grasp the true significance of Eeyore, praise be His name... its quite likely that the festering backwater boil doesn't grasp anything... Patience, Gates-slut, his name is marked in the paddock... Yeknod Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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