That Olde Peng Challenge Has Me In It's Spell

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

Very nice Peng thread. Nice thread…for me to poop on!!

I see we have some new SSN’s. How so very precious. I see our resident jackanape is playing with them while spouting rules here and there. I have this idea, maybe some of you could improve on it a bit. How about we send some gentlemen with lab coats to Utah armed with duct tape. They could knock on the Justicar’s door and tape him up good. That way, we won’t have to hear any more rules. Think about it. A wrinkled old incontinent Morman who is securely taped to his recliner. We could make sure he watches nothing but Martha Stewart 24/7. Wait, that might not be punishment for him. We could also steal his toupee and replace his Barry Manilow collection with Godsmack.

Yes, I know I owe some turns. Insert excuses here on why I don’t have much time after work but have plenty of time during work. The good news is that I finish my games these days. That's the only good news I have insofar as I still struggle towards mediocrity and fail miserably.

[The_Capt]

Okey Dokey,

I've finally sobered up a little. Whoops I said the "f" word again!! I really have to swear off drinking and posting.

"Coventry" again?! C'mon fellas. I am not sure what this little ritual is, but get on with it or not.

I promise to try and avoid using naughty words again but the Demon Drink tends to bring out the "nasties".

So it will be straight poo-poo, tinkle-heads, and go to heck you, Son's of Gun's from here on out. So Mormons rejoice.

Seanaichia..can I call you Sean?

OK you wanna jump in...cool, I will take all the help I can get.

Let's start with a biggie God and religion. Your thoughts? Where does it fit in. Is it still relevant? Have we moved on? If so, what fills the gap? I would say the system is broken (if it indeed ever worked at all), that leaves a large hole in those of us who need to believe in a reason.

My story; and I do apologize, like posting, ideas are best made drunk but should be written sober. It is one I have been boiling for quite some time and as history continues to unfold it has become more and more relevant. My biggest fear is that it is in fact true but then the medication kicks in and I go watch "Friends".

My story centres around the Death of God which should be central to us all.

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by athkatla:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Leeo:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by athkatla:

I think I'll sod off...................for the time being!

Isn't this a fallacious oxymoron? That you could think?

Hmmm...

Does not compute. Proper end-point, but the process leaves much to be desired.

(Have I said before that malt liquor is my friend? Ok, the kind of friend that shows you a good evening and then hits you with a bat and takes your wallet, but with friends like that, who needs enemas?)</font>

[Leeo]

Originally posted by The_Capt:

My story centres around the Death of God which should be central to us all.

Are you sucking up to Berli again?

[athkatla]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by athkatla:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Leeo:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by athkatla:

I think I'll sod off...................for the time being!

Isn't this a fallacious oxymoron? That you could think?

Hmmm...

Does not compute. Proper end-point, but the process leaves much to be desired.

(Have I said before that malt liquor is my friend? Ok, the kind of friend that shows you a good evening and then hits you with a bat and takes your wallet, but with friends like that, who needs enemas?)</font>

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by athkatla:

Hey Shoe Jaw, I do indeed have an email address, it was a minor oversight on my part that the wrong box was checked As for having nothing to say of note, well that just fits in with 99.9% of the other posters on here

Oh how nice, look lads, AthoverteaKettle has rectified his error and we may now respond to him ... how very nice.

SOD OFFFF!

Joe

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by athkatla:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by athkatla:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Leeo:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by athkatla:

I think I'll sod off...................for the time being!

Isn't this a fallacious oxymoron? That you could think?

Hmmm...

Does not compute. Proper end-point, but the process leaves much to be desired.

(Have I said before that malt liquor is my friend? Ok, the kind of friend that shows you a good evening and then hits you with a bat and takes your wallet, but with friends like that, who needs enemas?)</font>

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by The_Capt:

My story centres around the Death of God which should be central to us all.

You are fast becoming my favorite author

[Berlichtingen]

Boo's a squire, right? Who the Hell is his knight?

[athkatla]

It likes to you those ugly little faces, doesn't it Precious, Yesssss it does. We hates those little faces, don't we Precious, hmmmm? Yessss we hates them. WE HATES THEM FOREVER!

Too bad Bo Diddley the're here to stay, and frankly my dear, I couldn't give a damn What is a computer retoucher anyway, why did you touch it in the first instance? Do you have a fetish about computers? :eek:

[Papa Khann]

<hr>

Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

OOohhh! 'E do go on then, don't 'e? "Ooohhh, mummy, mummy, I don't wants scones wif my tea."

Anything else, Papa Haydn? Maybe a halftime show starring those darlings of CM, the Audacious Australian Dance Ensemble? Perhaps we can coerce some SSNs to entertain you with sychronized sodding off.

Like I say, give a serf an inch and he'll eat for a lifetime.

<hr>

Actually, I suspect the Australians have perfected the art of syNchronized sodding off.

<hr>

Originally posted by Persephone:

Papa...don't try to fight it...just go with your feelings...everything will be OK...I know it's hard to believe this right now, but...Joe really is a nice guy (I think).

Persephone

<hr>

Herr Berli, another for the bus?

Oh, and I almost forgot....

<hr>

Originally posted by AussieJeff:

I've got only TWO words to say to you, so put both ears to the screen yer starin' at and LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY to what I have to say:

PILLOCK!!!

Thnakyou for your dimwitted inattention. Run along now and play with the other juveniles in the Cess wading pool...

<hr>

There it is again! Can anyone else hear it? The sounds remind me of the popping and clicking noises used by the remote tribe in the film "The Gods Must Be Crazy" to communicate with one another.

I can't understand a "word" (for lack of a better term) of it. But I will admit, now that I know AussieJeff is actually TRYING HIS BESTEST to communicate, I find his bevy of unintelligible sounds slightly less annoying.

Papa

[Patchy]

Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

I see our resident jackanape is playing with them while spouting rules here and there. I have this idea, maybe some of you could improve on it a bit. How about we send some gentlemen with lab coats to Utah armed with duct tape. They could knock on the Justicar's door and tape him up good. That way, we won't have to hear any more rules. Think about it. A wrinkled old incontinent Morman who is securely taped to his recliner. We could make sure he watches nothing but Martha Stewart 24/7. Wait, that might not be punishment for him. We could also steal his toupee and replace his Barry Manilow collection with Godsmack.

Hiram, I have a question...do you remove Joe's dentures before you tape his mouth shut?

Persephone

[ June 25, 2002, 10:30 AM: Message edited by: Persephone ]

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Hiram nothing you could do would be worse than the torment you live through on a daily basis. Is is true that in Noo Joysey every other guy is a hood and the other two are just stupid? I'd mention the girls but who wants to hear about girls from Noo Joysey?

Joe

Yes, it is torment to be this good looking, talented, and well spoken. The NJ females have healthy hindquarters that jiggle to and fro. How I adore them. They don’t have the hairy pits and halitosis like the Utah females do. Don’t pretend that you care about the females over here or even remember what a female looks like. That nice nurse that changes your colostemy bag is a female, Joe. Granted, she may have one eyebrow and that mole on her lip. Remember when you mistakenly dropped your dentures in that bag and you had brown teeth for a week? What kind of grin is that again? Somebody help me here. It has to do with eating something.

This is your lucky day, Joe. Since I’m fond of the elderly, I’ll refrain from playing “got yer nose” because I remember how you wept and begged me to take it out of my pocket before. I had you so fooled. You were so winded after the 16th lap around the sofa when I grabbed your feces stained dentures. I scampered away from you and took your TV guide that day. You can have it back now, Joe. I just wanted to do the crossword puzzle. By the way, the nice men with white lab coats should be by any moment now. Don’t mind the duct tape, it’s just a precaution against further hot air expulsion from your archaic frame.

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Hiram nothing you could do would be worse than the torment you live through on a daily basis. Is is true that in Noo Joysey every other guy is a hood and the other two are just stupid? I'd mention the girls but who wants to hear about girls from Noo Joysey?

Joe

Yes, {snipped a LARGE volume of words that were disgusting even by Hiram standards and we all know how low they are.} </font>

[Lars]

Originally posted by The_Capt:

My story centres around the Death of God which should be central to us all.

God's Final Message to His Creation

WE APOLOGIZE FOR THE INCONVENIENCE

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

Boo's a squire, right? Who the Hell is his knight?

Truth be told, I was lowered to the lofty nadir of knighthood May 10th in a gala ceremony. All the glitteratti were there, Brad and Jennifer, J.Lo and her hubby du jour. We partied like it was 1999 and Martin Landau and Barbara Bain were sailing away on the moon.

I woke up the next day in the Philedelphia bus terminal wearing nothing but phat pants and the words "Go Packers" written on my chest in what appeared to be mustard. Stadium, not yellow, thankfully.

I can understand how you might not remember too much of that evening, Berli. The last I saw of you, you were going up to everyone telling them that if they would just give you your car keys, you could go look for your pants.

Good times. Truly good times.

[Lurkur]

Also known as Mephisto wrote:

Boo's a squire, right? Who the Hell is his knight?

He told me he was a Ka-nigget from the house of Croda, when he made me his squire. Of course, he was wearing boxers on his head when he did so, but around here it doesn't seem that unusual. Perhaps I should have asked for references.

As to the death of God, I am reminded of an snippet from the Sunday Morning show with Charles Kuralt. He was broadcasting from the Soviet Union, outside of a little church. He said that early in the revolution Lenin had been oppressing the church and boasted that now only little old ladies go to church, and soon it would be a thing of the past. Kuralt paused, smiled and finished. "That was over 60 years ago. Lenin is long dead but the little old ladies are still coming to church."

Lurk

Squire to Sir Boo_Radley

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

A musty pub sparsely populated with Irish inhabitants is the setting. Smoke fills the air and some Enya is playing from an old jukebox. In a dark corner sits a man with a misshapen and balding head. Weeping can be heard as bitter tears of despondency fall into his stout ale. His furry fingers grip the glass of beer and his monobrow is shedding upon the table. A brazen waitress comes to the table to ask the patron if he would have another and he shoo’s her away with a glare. It’s only his first, but he feels a bit tipsy. His only thoughts are on the embarrassing loss he suffered at the hands of a Cesspooler. Fionn’s chest shakes as wracking sobs make his flab shake and tremble in a most disgusting manner. “How did he do it?”, the Ubergrog asks no one in particular. “I was an Alpha, Beta, Gamma tester” “It was pre-ordained that I should win against Hiram. I wonder if Dorosh helped him! I bet that Dorosh and Pillar helped that little bastard. No, it was Dorosh, Pillar, Jason C. and then Dorosh again!!!”

By now, his tears have refilled the mug and he gently pushes it away from himself. “Need to write AAR on Commode Habits of Kindergartners now.” He then reaches into his Beta Tester coveralls and pulls out some money to slap onto the table. He puts on his “MadMatt for PM” hat and grabs his cane. His rantings are ignored by the other patrons as he shuffles out of the pub by himself.

Stay tuned for next episode: “Fionn gets frisky”

[Berlichtingen]

Oh... he's one of Croda's

That explains much

[Farslayer]

Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

A musty pub sparsely populated with Irish inhabitants is the setting. Smoke fills the air and some Enya is playing from an old jukebox. In a dark corner sits a man with a misshapen and balding head. Weeping can be heard as bitter tears of despondency fall into his stout ale. His furry fingers grip the glass of beer and his monobrow is shedding upon the table. A brazen waitress comes to the table to ask the patron if he would have another and he shoo’s her away with a glare. It’s only his first, but he feels a bit tipsy. His only thoughts are on the embarrassing loss he suffered at the hands of a Cesspooler. Fionn’s chest shakes as wracking sobs make his flab shake and tremble in a most disgusting manner. “How did he do it?”, the Ubergrog asks no one in particular. “I was an Alpha, Beta, Gamma tester” “It was pre-ordained that I should win against Hiram. I wonder if Dorosh helped him! I bet that Dorosh and Pillar helped that little bastard. No, it was Dorosh, Pillar, Jason C. and then Dorosh again!!!”

By now, his tears have refilled the mug and he gently pushes it away from himself. “Need to write AAR on Commode Habits of Kindergartners now.” He then reaches into his Beta Tester coveralls and pulls out some money to slap onto the table. He puts on his “MadMatt for PM” hat and grabs his cane. His rantings are ignored by the other patrons as he shuffles out of the pub by himself.

Stay tuned for next episode: “Fionn gets frisky”

Tantalizing teaser, or bald-faced lie?

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

It is NOT, however, pleasing to see the number and scope of his conditions! I'm thinking in terms of ... I don't know ... perhaps a match of Jabo! with someone? Anyone ... anyone ... Bueller?

Joe

Please, Joe, I thought we'd talked about this? No more PBEMs of Jabo!. We're starting to get calls from Geneva again, and we're on the shortlist with Amnesty International for a mailing campaign against us.

Oh, and Papa Khan, I'd be happy to give you a game as soon as I get my email situation straightened out.

Sorry again, Joe, but I'm usually willing to play a Landsmann, even if he's only a Serf.

Hasn't Dalem taken this Papa Khan fellow as a Squire yet? Seems rather slow off the mark...

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

It is NOT, however, pleasing to see the number and scope of his conditions! I'm thinking in terms of ... I don't know ... perhaps a match of Jabo! with someone? Anyone ... anyone ... Bueller?

Joe

Please, Joe, I thought we'd talked about this? No more PBEMs of Jabo!. We're starting to get calls from Geneva again, and we're on the shortlist with Amnesty International for a mailing campaign against us.

Oh, and Papa Khan, I'd be happy to give you a game as soon as I get my email situation straightened out.

Sorry again, Joe, but I'm usually willing to play a Landsmann, even if he's only a Serf.

Hasn't Dalem taken this Papa Khan fellow as a Squire yet? Seems rather slow off the mark...</font>

[Berlichtingen]

I smell smoke

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Lurkur:

finished. "That was over 60 years ago. Lenin is long dead but the little old ladies are still coming to church."

Lurk

Squire to Sir Boo_Radley

We're talking about Russia here, Lurkur.

Those were the same little old ladies!

[dalem]

Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

I smell smoke

Burrito Tuesday at your local Taco Hell there, Berli?

[ June 25, 2002, 01:56 PM: Message edited by: dalem ]