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The Memorial Ascent of Peng Challenge (Elev. 40,000-1/2 ft.)


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Dear Peng

Well isn't this a confusing state of affairs. It would seem my use of several expletives has set off a firestorm in your intestine. Pardon me while I address the masses...

All lower Pondscum;

Look fellas I am new here..in case anybody hasn't noticed. My post, which seems to have inflamed the more Mormon among you, was not directed at anybody. It was meant to emphasize humour and if anybody here has spent a day in uniform you would of course "get it"...please share with the others.

I simply followed MrPengs' (blesses be his name and all that walk in his light) lead. Granted his "F" words were more spread out which seems to be the trick in keeping Matt "The Reaper" away (psst I think he is Satan..really) I guess if you hide your little "F"s then it would seem to confuse the Sexy Beast.

Now Satan and I are speaking offline which would seem to be the best way to converse with the Lord of Darkness. And I am sure once the squeaking has died down here we can get back to loathing each other in the healthy, life giving manner.

Now to Seanachi or however you spell your name.

PIPPU was a sock member of "legionne d'estanger" as to the rest..well thanks for the sermon I guess I can sleep in on Sun and still avoid the express train to hell.

Try reading my posts and you may actually learn something NOT the least of which is the fact that I never spoke of women poorly or in an ungentlmanly fashion. I also never use "trash talk" as a end to itself but only as a means to a point. And to a fault a witty and well though out point by the standards of this Choir of the Damned.

Perhaps you were too busy grasping and admiring your "honor" and didn't notice you were getting footprints all over it by making unfounded accusations.

Now as to my personal philosophy..I hate people..all people equally, regardless of race, religion, colour or crime. I really missed my calling, that of dentist. You get to deliver pain and people hate you back..call it my dream job.

Now some people will just leave you alone and allow one to despise them at a distance. But others will actively poke you with a stick cause they need to "feel the heat" to keep warm that hollow place they used to call a soul before they sold out. This is just such a place.

I have always held to the great truth that when swimming in a shark tank it is best to bite first and never talk with your mouth full.

Now apparently I am to disassemble some poor twit named Simon..but I will save that for later.

Truly Lord Peng, you have a strange and mysterious place deep in your digestive system.

I continue to serve at your pleasure and glory.

[ May 26, 2002, 09:08 AM: Message edited by: The_Capt ]

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Originally posted by The_Capt:

{snipped same old boring drivel}

Try reading my posts...

{snipped same old boring drivel}

Did. Couldn't. Too much pain involved. Forced to gouge out eyes with a semi-dull broken butterknife held backwards, rinsed, repeated.

Originally posted by CMplayer

Is this 'Captain' unclaimed? If so I hereby delevate him to squire. Please direct any further complaints about poopy language on his part to my hotmail account.

Now The_Capt, you need no longer hem and haw. You are no longer an SSN, *sniff*. Such a touching moment...

Ack! Gag! Gah! NOO00O0. Now we'll never be rid of him! Oh well, perhaps with your expert {snicker} tutelage he will learn the error(s) of his ways and become despised and hated instead of mocked and snickered at in front of behind his back.
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Actually, it is I, Lord Panzer Leader who wears the scarlet 'N' aboot my neck. But contrary to popular opinion, it was not by some "writ of the Olde Ones" that lost me my ability to propigate this pool with little p.l's, but rather a late night "training session" with my [eugh]mentor[/eugh] that went terribly, terribly, awry.

After a hot shower, a week waiting by the phone, and a month's supply of anti-biotics the size of ostrich eggs ("Take with vaseline") I found that I was a lone knight, a spanish desperado, with no Sancho Panza to while away the winding trail. Seanachai gave me his 'used' blade, slapped my steed on the arse, and chortled to himself while his fingers dacned across the dulcimer (My dulcimer) in his lap (my lap).

And so it came to pass, that the road, ever winding about the meanderings of the pool, takes me past such sparkling diamonds in the rough, such as an infant cmplayer, cooing for a game; a rommel22, banging his head on the "Watch your language!" handrail; a Capt (not an oberst not interested); but all I can do is to keep slapping my arse to trot on. For it is my lot to never have a squire to slap my arse's arse.

And Crapt, it is not that I hate people, it is just that I feel better when they're not around. It is not too late to Sod Off!

[That's right]

[ May 26, 2002, 11:44 AM: Message edited by: Panzer Leader ]

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And another thing! What's with the "_"?? SOme throw-back to the 3.1 days or something? Has anyone ever heard of that wonder of modern punctuation known simply as "the dash"??

I don't even know what that piece of ****e is called. A line? A lower-case dash? A space-holder? Cup-holder? Notice the dash? Much more attractive, no? Hey The_Capt why don't you elevate yourself to such a lofty number as 8903 and lose the _. Better yet, take out the the altogether. Maybe even capt while you're at it.

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Why I hate Croda by dalem

Why indeed? One wouldn't think that anyone with the web handle "Croda" would be worth a second thought, let alone hatred. I stumbled around in the Pool at first, as do most folk - this was in the Good Olde Days before SSNs or Squires or Serfs, or Old Joe's dribbly blatherings about rules and regulations - and challenged a few nitwits to games. Most I lost. I rechallenged some, challenged new opponents, began not losing a little bit. Eventually I got to the point where I was definitely not assured of a loss against anyone I had challenged.

Except for Croda.

I cannot beat him. I believe that, in our string of games, on most of which I have rather cruelly wagered bits of my dog's anatomy to spur me to greater heights of hatred, I have managed one clean not-loss, one not-win/not-loss, and many, many losses. Normally that would be fine, the play's the thing and all.

But this is Croda.

He charges across open gound. He masses his troops where dispersal is wise. He wastes fire missions on empty and unlikely avenues of attack. He blunders about on the attack like a junkie looking for a quiet spot to fix, and his defenses simply sprawl like a bad lay counting ceiling tiles until you're done.

And yet I can't stick the knife in.

My artillery won't faze his troops, my carefully husbanded reserves fail morale immediately upon commitment, my mobile forces will invariably bog, my minefields will be passed through with impunity, I will go heavy on antiarmor assets when a rusty StuG is all I will face, and when I figure it's time to watch out for a big infantry push the sound of many sqealing tracks will drown out my sobs.

Hatred seems to be my only option. At first it burned bright and almost consumed me, but by now it has matured. So like a lava flow with a 'cool' crust on top that occasionally breaks to show the molten rock beneath, my hatred for that which is Croda flows onward, filling all the cracks and crevasses of my inner being with the warmth of MBT hate.

Even finding out that Croda hates being called "Jar Jar" barely helps.

So that's why I hate Croda.

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Originally posted by dalem:

Why I hate Croda by dalem

(A large section where dalem troubles deaf heaven with his BOOT-less cries, looks upon himself and curses his fate)

So that's why I hate Croda.

Yup. And it's times like this where I am proud to be counted a part of the noble House Croda.

Speaking of which (which I am), It's time to inform my squire of his quest. C'mere, squire. Come on, boy. That's a good squire. Now sit! Stay! And try not to go on the carpet.

Squire Lurker, for your quest you shall challenge Simonize Elfwand, Idjit-Goes-Hawaiian and Noba-Fett(simply because I hates him).

In these battles, you will either be Greenies if Allies, or if you choose the Axis side, you will be VolksGeezers.

I trust you will do House Croda proud. Or something.

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I think you are on to something there, dalem. Nurse your inner croda. Feed it all the accumulated bile of the week. Take out the hostilities that you can't on family/bosses/the needy. Grow that little ball of spite and bitterness until it causes you to spew out with the kinds of moves that you would only see from such an opponent. Only by embracing the chaos of hatred will you you be able to overcome it.

But, enough of your petty problems. You know what really chaps my ass? I go to all the trouble to direct my hate and not spread it randomly about. I don't waste the Pool's time with just any old blathering, having posted only a few hundred times with a member (number) as enviable as my own. I even go to the trouble of immortalizing the most notable rabble in an action packed scenario. Yet, when the latest ****storm occurs, do I get credit for any of my use of the word f%$#, encouraging the use of controlled substances, or being a proponent of adultery? I do not. That rat bastard Peng gets all the credit.

Do I rate a mention in the epic tales of the Bard, Marlow or the more recent of Lars? Nup.

Where's the hate and derision I so rightly deserve I ask you?

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PS: Iskander you rancid sack of third rate Chinese knock-off protoplasm, when you sign up for a Blogspot, that means you are committed to posting some funny **** for us to laugh at you about on a perpetual basis. This isn't like that puppy you got for Christmas in '76 you know. That baby is supposed to cry, so why don't you put her down, let her get to having a whopper and post an update.

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How's about a wee update?

Since you asked, I will provide.

Goanna is whining about the number and quality of my uber-French troops in some Berli-concocted scenario with lots of splodey things.

Big Girl's BlouseHaus is whining about all the splodey things I have and he doesn't in an Andreas-concocted scenario.

Leeo is whining about the number of uber-Brits that are endeavoring to beat the snot out of him on a gamey battle map that I concocted. Actually, he's whining (justifiably so) because my armor has been not nearly as effective as my PIATs.

Lorak is whining because he wants to lose in the worst way to maintain his record of ineptitude, but my record is better and I won't let him.

Herr Oberst is not whining, he's avoiding all my splodey things in the same Andreas-concocted scenario that BG'sBH (see above) is not avoiding my splodey things.

OhGodmyweeSpan'lFarted and I are just beating the ever-livin' snot out of each other on some gamey Rune-concocted scenario about dental work.

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Ouch, now that's going to leave a mark. Can't say I have ever had that pleasure, Moriarty, but I feel your pain. No, really, I do. Disregard those peals of laughter, they are for a joke I heard over the weekend.

Really though, how the hell can you lose to the Bard. Christ on a crutch, the guy is one tragic comedy waiting to happen, but not one of the ones written by anybody good. Who was that guy who couldn't hold Shakespear's jockstrap? Yeah, one written by that guy and with plenty of spelling and punctuation errors.

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Originally posted by Stuka:

I like Croda, thanks be to him for falling to my guns so long ago in our Knaggittely challenge.

I always confuse him with Meeks for some reason or other, it must be the fetid odour.

Yeah, I hate<SUP>1</SUP>/like<SUP>2</SUP> Cruder too, seeing as how I inadvertently<SUP>1</SUP> WHUPPED his sorry butt in our "Foothills" scenario when I was a mere Squire of Berli and am now being crushed<SUP>2</SUP> by his legions of rancid Yankee cheese eaters in an horrifically one-sided scenario that HE designed specifically to take HIS revenge on moi!

Cest la vie!!

AJ

--------------------------

Life is painting a picture, not doing a sum.

-Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

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Originally posted by Goanna:

But, enough of your petty problems. You know what Do I rate a mention in the epic tales of the Bard, Marlow or the more recent of Lars? Nup.

Sorry, Goanna, no room for Lizards at the top. Too cold.

Maybe next time, when I send Seanachai off on a horse with no name.

{And why does the horse have no name? You’d think if you were crossing the desert with nothing better to do, you could at least think up a name for the horse. Oh, wait a minute, it’s Seanachai}

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Posted by Borer:

Squire Lurker, for your quest you shall challenge Simonize Elfwand, Idjit-Goes-Hawaiian and Noba-Fett(simply because I hates him).

In these battles, you will either be Greenies if Allies, or if you choose the Axis side, you will be VolksGeezers.

That's Fettucine to you, you mushroom addicted, demented-dork. This Lurker better play better than you, otherwise from his current position in life, who knows where he will end up.

Tap tap tap........

Noba.

[ May 27, 2002, 04:46 AM: Message edited by: Noba ]

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Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

And another thing! What's with the "_"?? SOme throw-back to the 3.1 days or something? Has anyone ever heard of that wonder of modern punctuation known simply as "the dash"??

I don't even know what that piece of ****e is called. A line? A lower-case dash? A space-holder? Cup-holder? Notice the dash? Much more attractive, no? Hey The_Capt why don't you elevate yourself to such a lofty number as 8903 and lose the _. Better yet, take out the the altogether. Maybe even capt while you're at it.

Dear Peng

This coming from "Panzer Leader" (slather a healthy dose of sarcasm here). At least my handle has a basis in reality or am I mistaken and you really have served in the German Armoured Corp?

The dash is my business and it is rude to ask..

OK now I think we have established that we all can go back to loathing and despising each other.

And speaking of boring drivel do you guys ever talk about anything but your own pathetic attempts to play CM and take shots at each other?

Not that this is a problem, I have plenty of my own pathetic attempts and as we have established..nobody likes me and I am nay fond of ye either.

Now my "boss" CMPlayer has given me a task to challenge one Mr Simon Ewan?.Owen?..Obi-wan?

I will have to give this some thought...(heads to the pub for a few pints)

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Originally posted by Noba:

Posted by Borer:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Squire Lurker, for your quest you shall challenge Simonize Elfwand, Idjit-Goes-Hawaiian and Noba-Fett(simply because I hates him).

In these battles, you will either be Greenies if Allies, or if you choose the Axis side, you will be VolksGeezers.

That's Fettucine to you, you mushroom addicted, demented-dork. This Lurker better play better than you, otherwise from his current position in life, who knows where he will end up.

Tap tap tap........

Noba.</font>

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Originally posted by Goanna:

PS: Iskander... when you sign up for a Blogspot, that means you are committed to posting some funny **** for us to laugh at you about on a perpetual basis... post an update.

One could make much the same arguement about Knighthood in the Cesspool, but then you'd be on the next train to Coventry before nightfall.

However, just because I love lizards, there are now some bloggings about that most dangerous of aminals: The Migratory UnterSwede!

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Your search - migratory unterswede - did not match any documents.

The spelling correction - migratory unterschiede - also did not match any documents.

Suggestions:

* Make sure all words are spelled correctly.

* Try different keywords.

* Try more general keywords.

* Try fewer keywords.

Please advise.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

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