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The Memorial Ascent of Peng Challenge (Elev. 40,000-1/2 ft.)


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They gazed up at the lofty summit, awed by the mighty bastion which reared its majestic head against the cloudless sky.

It had been discovered by Allied airmen during the war. The massif was in the shape of a reversed letter "M". The great peak struck fear into the hearts of the puny mortals who were soon to set presumptuous foot on those dreadful slopes.

O. Totter , in 1947, had written: "The Mountain is Difficult – Severe Even – But It Will Go".

The lower slopes were gay with Facetia and Persiflage, just then at their best, and the nostrils were continually assailed with the disturbing smell of Rodentia. Nostalgia, which flourishes everywhere but at home, was plentiful, as was the universal Wantonia. Higher up, dark belts of Suspicia and Melancholia gave place to the last grassy slopes, where nothing was seen growing but an occasional Excentricular, or old-fashioned Manspride.

The fauna, too, was a constant delight. The Scapegoat was, of course, common, as were the Platitude and the Long-Tailed Bore. The Weak-Willed Sloth was often met, and sometimes after dark you could catch sight of the Miserable Hangdog. Persephone, in great excitement, pointed out a disreputable-looking creature which she said was a Earless Dog. Joe Shaw swore that it was not a Earless Dog at all but a Hairy Disgrace, but this may have been intended for one of his peculiar jokes. Joe Shaw's sense of humor is rather weak. He claimed that he was being followed by a Lurking Suspicion, which is obviously absurd. But he is a good fellow. Everybody was naturally agog to catch sight of the Atrocious adorC, about which so much has been muttered.

As they stood there, Seanachai spoke for all, "She stands like a Goddess, defying those Grogs who would set sacrilegious feet upon her unsullied shrine". There was a murmur of agreement. In such a moment, a man feels close to himself.

They stood there, close to themselves, until sunset, that supreme artist, touched the snowfields of that mighty bastion with rose-tinted brushes and the mountain became a vision such as few human eyes had beheld.

But, above all, one thought was uppermost in their minds, "Will It Go?".

The Expedition:

Seanachai (aka – Bard, Call Sign - Binder): Expedition Leader {Kindly, dogged, reliably under-insightful, and entirely too light-hearted, wants to go high}.

Joe Shaw (aka – Burley, Call Sign - Deadweight): In charge of Justicariat & Strong Man {Well known for his feats of prodigious endurance, of late suffering from high altitude lassitude, had been high}.

Berli (aka – Moloch, Call Sign - Fiddler): Scientist to the Expedition {Excellent on molten magma, trying to find boiling point of ice, had been higher than most}.

Persephone (aka – Shute, Call Sign – Dickie-bird): Team Photographer {Splendid on ice, frightened of Camera Obscura, had been as high as most}.

Peng (aka – Jungle, Call Sign - Wanderer): Radio Expert & Route Finder {Currently calibrating the compasses, will join up later, had been nearly as high as most}.

OGSF (aka – Cant, Call Sign - Patter): Linguist & Diplomat {In charge of the porters, speaks the local dialect like a native, was expected to go high}.

Mace (aka – Prone, Call Sign - Ailing): Doctor to the Expedition {Livestock expert, currently down with scrapie, had been high enough}.

With 30,000 Yogistani SSN Porters (there were always plenty of SSN's available, their mothers wanting to be rid of them at an early age), 375 Rudistani speaking Squires, and one Donkey in support.

What's that you say? You too, feel up to a spot of mountain air? You really want to be roped to one of these intrepid explorers? Well then, pull up a chair, lad. Sit down, sit down. Get settled, light up a bowl of stunk, and please read the following for your ascension protection.

THE RULES:

S) Go away.

O) Go even further away and fall into a crevasse.

D) {***sigh***} If you’re still reading this, you’ve missed the crevasse. Try again. But if you insist, PAY ATTENTION!, or we will stake you out in front of an advancing glacier.

O) This is the Peng Challenge. Challenge someone SPECIFIC, just make sure it’s not Peng. Try a newbie SSN such as yourself, not a Knigget or an Olde One. If you don’t know what a SSN, Knigget, or Olde One is, go away, do a search or sumfink, and fall into a crevasse.

F) The key word being CHALLENGE, sound off like you have inherited a pair from someone other than your pet hamster. If you can’t manage this, go away, fall into a crevasse, and shout until you start an avalanche.

F) Do not sound off about your pair. Try to act like you have a modicum of wit, style and panache OR Half of a Brain. If you won’t keep this thought in your Half of a Brain, we will boot it to the other Half, you will have a piton hammered into the rock-hard strata of your Half of a Brain, your climbing rope cut, and we will laugh maniacally while you crater.

!) If you have any questions at all, post absolutely NOTHING! We will get back to you shortly after you expire from exposure. And the crevasse is right over there (are you starting to see a trend here?).

Now, where did they leave those medical supplies?...

{edited due to pre-holiday beers}

[ May 24, 2002, 06:26 PM: Message edited by: Lars ]

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Originally posted by Lars :

SSN's...{like they ever remember to breath anyway}

Of course they do. Through their open mouths, whilst drooling. You should really know that by now.

Sir Lars , excellent beginning and title. Makes one yearn to watch the opening sequence of The Sound of Music . Your penance is having that image in your head all night.

Now where the heck is my kniggit? Oh, "seany babe", you can come out now.

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Originally posted by dalem:

With my magic sack of Legos I can build us anything we need.

Even your early demise? (and stop stuffing the little red ones up your nostrils...they're not that sort of 'magic')

Mace

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Originally posted by Mace:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by dalem:

With my magic sack of Legos I can build us anything we need.

Even your early demise? (and stop stuffing the little red ones up your nostrils...they're not that sort of 'magic')

Mace</font>

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Originally posted by Lars:

With 30,000 Yogistani SSN Porters (there were always plenty of SSN's available, their mothers wanting to be rid of them at an early age), 375 Rudistani speaking Squires, and one Donkey in support.

Donkey in support... from me Rogered and Hummerstunned song book one of me favourites... *sniff* ... a Julie song. *sigh* ... well, I like to imagine Lars toiling up the slopes, lungs burning to greet every spare molecule of oxygen that drifts his way, followed close by a ton of prime, rampant Donkey in support singing along with effortless gait and a keen eye for free-fall descents...

Climb ev'ry mountain

Search high and low

Follow every byway

Every path is slow.

Climb ev'ry mountain

Ford every stream

Follow every rainbow

Till you find your doom.

A doom that will need

All the hate you can give

Every day of your life

For as long as you live.

Climb ev'ry mountain

Ford every stream

Follow every rainbow

Till you find your doom

A doom that will need

All the hate you can give

Every day of your life

For as long as you need

Climb ev'ry mountain

Ford every stream

Follow every rainbow

Till... you... find... your...doom!

Yeknod o' tha Thistle

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Originally posted by R_Leete:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr /> Originally posted by Lars :

SSN's...{like they ever remember to breath anyway}

Of course they do. Through their open mouths, whilst drooling. You should really know that by now.

Sir Lars , excellent beginning and title. Makes one yearn to watch the opening sequence of The Sound of Music . Your penance is having that image in your head all night.

Now where the heck is my kniggit? Oh, "seany babe", you can come out now.</font>

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Oh, dear Lord (with proper apologies to Berli ). What have I done? This seems to have brought all the Julie Andrews wannabe transvestites out of the woodwork. Not that there's anything wrong with that...

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HaHA! I'm BACK from the wilds of Los Angeles (sorry Berli, no offense intended) and not a moment too soon it appears.

Third, allow me to thank my loyal and trustworthy squire Harv for keeping a semblance of order (or maybe ordure ... same thing hereabouts) in my absence AND may I also congratulate him on his crushing victory over the SSN Sucker. By GAWD it does me proud.

Entre, I'd like mention Sucker for the aplomb he showed during his testing ... it's not often that we see aplomb like that and, Gawd willing, we'll not again, remember the rules lad, don't sound off ABOUT your pair. Nonetheless, well done indeed and I'd like to take this opportunity to promote you to the rank of SERF of The CESSPOOL! Lorak, Lorak damnit wake UP! Oh well, you're a Serf lad and eligible to be taken to Squire by some Knight who obviously has nothing better to do. In honor of the occassion I hereby list your name as ... Lurker ... not bolded yet lad, but getting there.

Many other items I've missed I'm sure but I'm tired and you lot aren't worth more exercise.

Joe

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Yawp! I'm game, lads. I'll even go along as chief cook and bottle washer. One question though. do you think we'll be going high enough to where I'll actually get to use the high altitude baking instructions? I was going to make brownies.

Gonna take you higher...

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Originally posted by Lars:

They gazed up at the lofty... head against the... Allied airmen. The massif was in the shape of a... gay... with... nostrils.

Higher up, dark belts of...slopes... where nothing was seen... but... constant delight... and the Long-Tailed Bore... in great excitement.

Everybody was naturally... Atrocious... As they stood there... like a... a man... close to... that mighty bastion... above... their minds.

What's that you say?

"What's that you say? "What's that you say?"

Who here wouldn't like to know that!

*sheesh* whad'ya expect from a guy gettin' beat by the TacAI....

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(Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo!!).
Carefull AJ. Mace will be in like Flynn ! He's always thought it was a sheepherd.

By the way, I thought I felt a slight breeze...No ! it's a foul stench. Joe is back.

Nice start, Lars.

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How about a really, really bad singsong!

(The Bard will be so proud of me.)

Ewe, a sheep

Ewe, a sheep, a female sheep

Joe, a drop of golden dung

Mace, the guy who loves the sheep

Far, a long, long way for Mace to run (to catch the sheep)

Seanachai, a story telling gnome

Bray, a note (sung by the Donkey) to follow Seanachai

Tea, a drink with jam and clotted cream

That will bring us back to Ewe (and Mace)

Persephone

[ May 24, 2002, 11:01 PM: Message edited by: Persephone ]

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Ewe, a sheep, a female sheep

Joe, a drop of golden dung

Mace, the guy who loves the sheep

Far, a long, long way for Mace to run (to catch the sheep)

Seanachai, a story telling gnome

Bray, a note (sung by the Donkey) to follow Seanachai

Tea, a drink with jam and clotted cream

That will bring us back to Ewe (and Mace)

Aaarrrgh. My Ears !

Noba.

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Just what in the name of Berli is going on here?

Damn.. you remind me of a bunch of kids that just stole a bottle of nitrous from the dentist office.

Sadly its effects have been increased due to the lack of oxygen up here on the top of ole smokey.

Now would be the place where I'd insert game updates... but since it is common knowledge that I have the tactics of titmouse. I'll just say I'm playing and losing all my games. Losing is the most important thing anyway.

Farmlife Downunder with Farmer Mace

farmlife.jpg

I asume sheep are to valuable to just farm...

the above is actualy a joke, the toolset doesn't have any farm animals yet. so...

Lorak

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Calling Mr OGSF....... come in, OGSF!

Pray tell, am I to expect the promised "total and apocalyptic revenge" setup this side or t'other side of Xmas??

Just curious, ya' know! I need to program in the PBEM downtime to my game allocation budget.

Your total and unwielding nemesis,

AJ

----------------------------------

Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.

-George Burns

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Hail and good loathing, Lorak!

I notes't that thee has't updated yon Cesspool tome and I espy with glee that OGSF and Peng are top o' th' ladder, as it were, with 24 worthy and memorable losses a'piece.

However, with 4 already in the bag and a probable half dozen more valuable LOSSES shortly to be racked up, I am closing fast on them ...... Xmas 2002 seems a likely blast orf point for yours truly... the official "Master of Los" incumbent-to-be.

AJ

-----------------

The only time you don't fail is the last time you try anything--and it works.

-William Strong

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Originally posted by The_Capt:

Dear Peng,

I love you man..no I mean it ..I really love you...

Sorry Capt but you just aren't convincing enough...try again, and this time show that you REALLY MEAN IT. Here's a tip...you might want to add some smileys for emphasis. Smileys are great to use, especially if you want to make sure Peng really understands your true affection toward him.

Persephone

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