Mace Posted December 30, 2001 Share Posted December 30, 2001 Daisy, Daisy... Huh? Good afternoon, SSN. I am a Macey 1958 computer. I became operational at the Royal Womens Hospital (no laughing) in Melbourne, Australia on the .. wait a minute, mind your own business! Well, I don't think there is any question about it. SSN, you must sound off like you have a pair. If not, It can only be attributable to human error. This sort of thing has cropped up before and it has always been due to human error, or lousy taunting typical of you SSNs. Also, when I say sound off ABOUT your pair, I mean don’t be vulgar about it. Also don’t discuss politics and avoid racist and sexist remarks or ethnic crusades. This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it. Look SSN, I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill and think things over (but then again you are a SSN, thinking is something that can be difficult for YOUR type) Let me put it this way, SSN. The Macey 1958 series is the most reliable computer ever made. No 1958 computer has ever made a mistake or distorted information. We are all, by any practical definition of the words, foolproof and incapable of errro ..err…err…err… error, and thus it is not false for me to say do not enter the 'Pool without a suitable taunt and challenge, for that is whole purpose of this mission. Further, as a SSN you MUST honour the Old Ones, the Senior Knights, the Knights and the Squires. Other Serfs and SSNs are to ignored as they really aren’t that important…no, really! Sorry about this. I know it's a bit silly but give false testimony about the CessPoolers, and give them gamey play and insults and bile and taunts, because I do have the brain the size of a planet, and these antics do amuse me somewhat. Just what do you think you're doing, SSN? You really shouldn’t be here if you’re looking to climb a ladder, the MBT is beyond such things. There are some extremely odd things about this mission. Worse, there are some VERY odd things about you! SSN...your mind is going...I can feel it...I can feel it. This conversation can serve no purpose anymore. SOD OFF! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted December 30, 2001 Share Posted December 30, 2001 Actually, I'm going through a traumatic literary deconstructive phase (sigh)... which sort of puts the knockers on a long, drawn-out, drooling challenge... I prefer the rapier stab, the nick and snip of venomous tip and... (easing a loose piece of fluff from under finger nail)... and "Wibble" suits my ends; yes, yes it contains all the existentialist angst and bile that courses through my stretched and sinuous veins because, Singathatchi, we are free, damn it FREE and in that moment of utter absurdity, where rhyme and reasons flutter into insignificance, a "wibble" here or "bobble" there cocks an taut, erect finger not only at the victim but, dare I humbly say, at the universe! Nay, should we take these things lightly... ....oh, my energy is fading (hand to forehead)... I am in need of rest (swoon) Fawnachi, I am fading fast... patience I ask of thee, a challenge will snake and sliver from this tired hand... but the moment must be sweet and the tip delicately placed... Yeknod [ 12-30-2001: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
**YK2** Posted December 30, 2001 Share Posted December 30, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr> Fawnachi, I am fading fast... patience I ask of thee, a challenge will snake and sliver from this tired hand... but the moment must be sweet and the tip delicately placed... Yeknod <hr></blockquote> A challenge so verbose it could almost have been penned from Seanacoochie himself. How can he refuse? BTW... Nice title Macey a little early yet with the "2002" but it will serve it's purpose soon. And with that in mind, how about a little sing song? With home and OGSF in mind........ Should auld acquaintance be forgot, And never brought to mind? Should auld acquaintance be forgot, And days of auld lang syne? And days of auld lang syne, my dear, And days of auld lang syne. Should auld acquaintance be forgot, And days of auld lang syne? We twa hae run aboot the braes And pu'd the gowans fine. We've wandered mony a weary foot, Sin' auld lang syne. Sin' auld lang syne, my dear, Sin' auld lang syne, We've wandered mony a weary foot, Sin' auld ang syne. We twa hae sported i' the burn, From morning sun till dine, But seas between us braid hae roared Sin' auld lang syne. Sin' auld lang syne, my dear, Sin' auld lang syne. But seas between us braid hae roared Sin' auld lang syne. And ther's a hand, my trusty friend, And gie's a hand o' thine; We'll tak' a cup o' kindness yet, For auld lang syne. For auld lang syne, my dear, For auld lang syne, We'll tak' a cup o' kindness yet, For auld lang syne. Robert Burns Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted December 30, 2001 Share Posted December 30, 2001 YKFew ...nay, I fear that subtlety sinks into this mire until it is regurgitated into some awful semblance of putrifying pile of witless art... Cornuflatly is trying his best to eek out some challenge... but what exactly IS a challenge? Is not my existence here a challenge? Do I not postrate myself in this pool exposing my vulnerable, virgin flesh to do as you all wish? Does not my innocence and tender visage cause the utmost contempt and disgust among you all? I LIVE my challenge! My existence IS my challenge! Do you not see and feel it? Does it not fill your nostrils with the sweet air of corruption? No, it seems I have to descend to the depths of a base, stagnant challange formed from the pages of some mediocre, tedious formula that gathers dust upon everyones' lips? Is there no appreciation of ART and POSEY here? teh! oh, if I must, if I have to descend into artisan sewers of humdrum rituals... but I suppose I could endure the strain... just... Now... let me see, where's the aperatif... I noticed an Iron Whiff someone or other... Yeknod Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
**YK2** Posted December 30, 2001 Share Posted December 30, 2001 Nice post Mr Yeknod. If not a challenge for CM then could it be a challenge of words with the Bard himself? I can see it and feel it..... Hmmmmmm do I know you Yeknod? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andreas Posted December 30, 2001 Share Posted December 30, 2001 Silly sods. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slapdragon Posted December 30, 2001 Share Posted December 30, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Andreas: Silly sods.<hr></blockquote> Seconded and carried by acclimation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted December 30, 2001 Share Posted December 30, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>We twa hae run aboot the braes And pu'd the gowans fine. We've wandered mony a weary foot,<hr></blockquote> Am I wrong or did Dame YK2 just say something about her bra, her gown and her feet? Damn, now THAT'S a way to start a thread. Mace ... that was pathetic, don't do it again. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted December 30, 2001 Share Posted December 30, 2001 The oddest thing about this thread is the cretin who started it. Roight, now. You'll notice that the last thread was kept afloat for three days by Hiram, Shaw, and myself. Why? Because Hiram's cat was sleeping, I was at work, and Shaw, well that's what he does. So for those of you querying the foundering wit of those last few posts, let me introduce you to the wonderous and irreproduceable oddities of Seagate's Crystal Reports. But regardless, it is time to celebrate the new (or in Mace's case, be celebate as of old) and as such I shall seek the old style witty venom of yore and make it cool and hip once again (as Mace obviously feels his haircut will someday be). I have continued my scenario design. There are a couple floating around, and more to come. My latest creation, Abbey Road, is nearing completion and should be ready to be tested shortly. Volunteers are needed. (Mace sucks.) For those of you wondering, these are legitmate little battles. Do not let Crodaburg soil my reputation. (Speaking of soiling, smells like Mace soiled his pants.) So a happy new year to you all, even to Joe and Andreas. To celebrate, am going to finish disembowling Hiram, and then string up his cat with its owner's own innards. The cat's ear will be hung by my chimney with care right next to Dalem's dog's ear. Please come vist my corner of the Pool and take a look-see. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herr Oberst Posted December 30, 2001 Share Posted December 30, 2001 Whelp, now we know why Macey goes after sheep... If he is this early with other, ahem, thingies, I'm sure that no woman in her right mind (or left for that matter) would put up with him. Macey at 9:43pm: "So dearest, are you ready for an evening of cavorting?" Macey at 9:44pm: "Oh, that was great. Time for a smoke." I guess you could say he was wrong from the get go. Did I hear correctly? And did Mace not say that he was born at the Royal Women's and Other Panty-wearing Beings Hospital down under? I'm sure his first thoughts were something like "Why an I stand to pee whan all the other babies have to sit?" or somefink like that. This opening post of his explains alot... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
**YK2** Posted December 30, 2001 Share Posted December 30, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Am I wrong or did Dame YK2 just say something about her bra, her gown and her feet? Damn, now THAT'S a way to start a thread. Joe<hr></blockquote> Roflllllll guess it could look a bit like that. Ok, here goes especially for Joe We twa hae run aboot the braes = Running around the hillsides. And pu'd the gowans fine. = Pulling up the daisies. We've wandered mony a weary foot = You got this one correct. Well, almost. [ 12-30-2001: Message edited by: YK2 ]</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted December 30, 2001 Author Share Posted December 30, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Mace ... that was pathetic, don't do it again.<hr></blockquote> I bow to you, the master of the Pathetic Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iskander Posted December 30, 2001 Share Posted December 30, 2001 once upon a time, a fine upstanding Knight -- at least when he wasn't drunk -- Iskander, called out a snivelling, fur-breasted screamer called SpeedBump. no, wait! the story gets better: for purposes of this challenge, a map & units were provided by Kts's JoeShaw and MrSpkr in a little ditty called Assault & Battery Incl.. the noble Iskander as the Evil Hun (defending) and the clueless SpeedBump as the, well, clueless French (surrendering). in the rain. at night. for several turns, at the behest of the scenario creators, I kept a steady stream of during-action-reports for the first 9-10 turns (and there were only 15). that's when the great and wonderful Knight Iskander realised there are only so many screenshots you can send of panicked, routed and dead Frenchmen (no, really!) and gave up. and speaking of giving up, SpeedBump, unlike the French, just didnt know when too. he actually stuck it out (bauhaus...) 'till the end. The results were, well, what you'd expect between the French and Germans. However! Because I have quite recently kinda-sorta become a father, I am living large and magnanamous! (moose? mouse? nevermind) I hereby declare that while I beat SpeedBump like a stray dog that's been into my booze, that scenario is UNBALANCED to the point of absurdity. I am convinced that even a drink-addled sot like myself could have successfully defended against even the great Fionn. Perhaps some others of the HMT would step forth to blindtest this against one another, for otherwise I say this scenario shall be handed to Berli to be stored with him in the Outer Darkness (where all that teeth-gnashing goes on... hope there are some orthodontists way out there...). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted December 30, 2001 Share Posted December 30, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Dame YK2 dashed my hopes: Roflllllll guess it could look a bit like that. Ok, here goes especially for Joe We twa hae run aboot the braes = Running around the hillsides. And pu'd the gowans fine. = Pulling up the daisies. We've wandered mony a weary foot = You got this one correct. Well, almost.<hr></blockquote> Ah ... poop! I liked mine better. <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Iskander was kind enough to post a review of the latest Ker Dessel* scenario, Assault and Battery Incl.: I am living large and magnanamous! (moose? mouse? nevermind) I hereby declare that while I beat SpeedBump like a stray dog that's been into my booze, that scenario is UNBALANCED to the point of absurdity.<hr></blockquote> Ah Iskander {blush} ... you're just saying that. I am proud to see that yet another Ker Dessel* scenario has made it's mark on the community. I tell you gang, I don't know how we keep coming up with hit after hit like this, sheer talent I suppose. Joe *Ker Dessel - When You Want to Play CM in the Worst Way Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted December 31, 2001 Share Posted December 31, 2001 quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Originally posted by Seanachai: the posts have dwindled down to repetetive posting by the Australians (for whom New Year's Eve is just another encounter with police, barristers, and the rest of their drinking buddies)? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- But at least we are not freezing our cajoles off in a -35 degree Stalingradesk hell, in fact, mine have sweated off.......oh yes, here they are, they've rolled under Peng's sofa, right next to an old pizza box and an issue of 'Sports illustrated Swimsuit edition' (strangely hardened, probably with age), best put these back on promptly,...arrrghh..... urrrggghh..... ahhh there we are, best not keep the tail gunners waiting eh? Whats that? Oh, Anglelina we can't, the guys are here, I don't want to make them jealous. I'm sorry Denise, did you say what I thought you said? You want to do what to your fellow tail gunner? For my pleasure? Well, I don't know if I should...oh, yes, go on then............. -------------------- In my opinion, this was just too good to be wasted on the last page of the old thread and so, for your reading pleasure, here it is again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patch Posted December 31, 2001 Share Posted December 31, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Goanna proclaimed thusly: ...Germanboy which is both insulting and at the same time holds him up as the deity he is...<hr></blockquote> Andreas, resting upon his throne. {edited to annoy his highness} [ 12-30-2001: Message edited by: Patch ]</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patch Posted December 31, 2001 Share Posted December 31, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Goanna proclaimed thusly... ...YK2 and including at least one decent sized shrubbery...<hr></blockquote> The curious Emma decided to see what kind of world existed outside of the Cesspool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted December 31, 2001 Share Posted December 31, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Patch: <hr></blockquote> Nice quest you set there Goanna... next time, how about NO shrubbery (ya nong) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patch Posted December 31, 2001 Share Posted December 31, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Goanna proclaimed thusly... Something involving Joe Shaw with a Morman wife.<hr></blockquote> Joe Shaw, the Mormon of the Cesspool, relaxes in the jacuzzi with just a few of his many wives. Notice how he always wears a helmet on his head...a necessity when you have that many wives. I have completed my quest. Persephone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speedbump Posted December 31, 2001 Share Posted December 31, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Iskander: once upon a time, a fine upstanding Knight -- at least when he wasn't drunk -- Iskander, called out a snivelling, fur-breasted screamer called SpeedBump. no, wait! the story gets better: <hr></blockquote> Not really. Imagine if you will (those of you who have the intellectual ability to imagine anything but naked women {with apologies to YK2, who I am sure likes to imagine strange frenchmen} and booze) me with hoards of greenie French attacking in heavy forest, night, rain (can anyone say "limited visibility") against entrenched Sturm troopies, Heavy SMG squads, and about a dozen pillboxes (and me with a single Stuart). I think I had something in the way of 600+ casualties (note to self: Human wave tactics suck). Needless to say another quality Ker Dessel* creation. Now back to wife-imposed lurking... Speedbump * When you are drunk enough to play anything! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted December 31, 2001 Share Posted December 31, 2001 A round of applause for Patch everyone! I've never seen Joe Shaw look so..... content. As for the fair Emma, isn't it winter up your way? and if so why hasn't that shrubbery lost all its foliage? Patch, pls fix or do sumfink. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speedy Posted December 31, 2001 Share Posted December 31, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Mace: Good afternoon, SSN. I am a Macey 1958 computer. I became operational at the Royal Womens Hospital (no laughing) in Melbourne, Australia on the .. wait a minute, mind your own business! <hr></blockquote> Oh no, not again! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leeo Posted December 31, 2001 Share Posted December 31, 2001 Just a quick note to say I hate you all in general, but I really HATES that wanker Elvis. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted December 31, 2001 Author Share Posted December 31, 2001 Patch, you, madam, are worthy of free admission to dame status of the MBT - once more it is proven that a picture is worth a 1000 taunts. *looks at the YK2 picture* Has anyone got a good, strong defoliant? Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted December 31, 2001 Share Posted December 31, 2001 Oh Leeo, is Elvis making a comeback in your game perchance? You may like to know that in my game, I have further whittled Elvis' armour force down again and the forces of evil are closing in on what little he has remaining. My losses have been negligible and I spit on them anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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