Evzone VS Corvidae, aug '41

[Corvidae]

And so it begins

35 turns of heat and dust and terror,

35 turns of french jokes,

[Corvidae]

I have sent Evzone his sellect units turn,

I fully expect to be surprised,

once this gets started I hope to see a repeat of my last PBEM battle, (ie; lots of bad jokes)

Although given that I am commanding a french force, I expect that the joke is already underway.

[Evzone]

Hey, I know where those rocks are.

[Corvidae]

I'm glad you do, I dont even know where that squad is,

Vive la france,,, (and other such rot)

[Corvidae]

I see tanks, and half tracks, in the shimmering desert dawn.

[Corvidae]

The first casualties are already screaming.....

The enemy has field guns.....

and exelent anti armor capability.....

I have to face that, before my morning coffee....

[Corvidae]

I may be off to a bad start,,,,

[Corvidae]

I just returned from a folk music festival,

I am dead,

Not just tired but dead,,

12 days of joyfull chaos. surrounded by young ladys who consider ANY clothing to be oppressive,

12 days of NO net access,

12 days of not playing CM

[John Kettler]

Corvidae,

You got to have all that fun, then game? Poor baby!!!

Regards,

John Kettler

[Corvidae]

so far so good,,

my force are moving forward,

and no paris politicians to interfere

[Evzone]

Corvidae, is the soldier to the left of the Marmon-Herrington carrying an umbrella? I thought we said no special weapons allowed.

Evzone

[Corvidae]

Evzone,, that soldier is the colonels mother,

do you realy want to take her umbrella?

[Corvidae]

Well, That was interesting

[John Kettler]

Corvidae,

Just to show you your efforts are appreciated...

http://mailer.fsu.edu/~akirk/tanks/safrica/SouthAfrica.html

http://www.wwiivehicles.com/southafrica/marmon_herrington.html

Regards,

John Kettler

[Corvidae]

I count at least 5 ( possibly 6) enemy tanks, 3 halftracks, and a gun, but have seen no infantry.

My own forces of course are utterly unprepared,

(they are french),

The enemy has KOed my main AT gun and its supporting flak unit, he has also destroyed my armor.

I may be off to a bad start, but there is still hope for a glorious french victory,

I still have the capacity to throw rocks and insults and bad cuisine,

[Corvidae]

My AT rifles plink uselessly at his tanks,

The heat and dust are almost worse than the shrapnel from his bombardment of my troops,

There are maggots in the escargots and the coffee is teppid,

WAR IS HELL

[Evzone]

I've moved my platoon of IIFs a mere 100m forward, keeping out of range of Corvidae's ATRs but at a reasonable distance for the IIF's 20mm. I am prepared to withdraw if he gets too close.

I've been bombarding the palm trees in proximity to the flags with an onboard 81mm, 50mm mortars, etc. where I could see Corvidae's forces were concentrating.

Terrible loss of life for three palm trees in the middle of nowhere.

Fortunately, my men are virtually unhurt and morale is high. My infantry prepare to advance.

[Corvidae]

And unfortunately my men are french, and too stupid to recognize a disaster when they waltz into it,

In all reality, I screwed up this battle, I moved too fast with a force best used at closer ranges,

I'm now attempting to recover my balance as it were, Trying to consolidate a line with spent troops, Its going to get messy,

Eventualy he has to close to bayonette range,

[Jaska.]

Originally posted by Corvidae:

There are maggots in the escargots and the coffee is teppid

Love your bad jokes, by the way.

[ August 28, 2006, 11:56 PM: Message edited by: Prinz Eugen_2 ]

[Corvidae]

Prinz Eugen,

bad jokes are the point and purpose of life,

Let us celebrate the idiocy and depravity of state and empire, by making bad jokes, Let us look upon catastrophy and tragedy, and make bad jokes,

For if we do not laugh, The sheer horror will make us all insane,

[Jaska.]

Corvidae, would you like to do battle in the East Front ? Far away from the corrupt Paris politicians.

In the desolate Russian forests and steppes, where life ends quickly and violently, where there will be no mercy. Only vodka, cans of tinned spam and spent 7,92 mm cartridges. And more vodka.

How about it ?

[Corvidae]

Prinz Eugen, Absolut ly,

But let me finish being slaughtered here first.

I have 2 PBEM games on the go already, Not sure I could balance a third,

But yes I think some steepelands terror would be fun,

[Jaska.]

Trés bien ! ( I probably got that wrong, two words, it's not much, but for me there's plenty on chances to go wrong )

I'll give you some steeplands terror when you have the time. You reckon hot desert is bad ? Mate, you don't know the word pain if you haven't fought at temperatures of below -30C !

Our battle, be it ME, attack or whatever, will take place in the harsh Russian winter. Welcome to the Eastern Front, comrade.

My email address is in the profile. Feel free to mail me when you're ready.

PS. I prefer Smirnoff.

[Corvidae]

Prinz Eugen;

watching your breech block shatter from cold is not fun, but most of my CM experience is in BB, and a lot in brutaly cold conditions,, your offer is accepted

[Cuirassier]

Be warned, Prinz Eugen_2, I have followed Corvidae's last splendid AAR concerning the Russian Front, where he was defending near Kursk with his courageous Russian soldiers, and was victorious.

I even saw him commandeer a flaming T-34 and ram it into the flank of a Tiger just after bailing out to saftey with a Chuck Norris roll.