My my, at Waterloo Peng did challenge

[Joe Shaw]

Seanachai, are you completely berift of your senses man?

We have sent this clown to Coventry. Do TRY to pay attention.

Joe

[Mace]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

IT'S TIME FOR A GOOD OLD, US-VERSUS-THEM CIVIL WAR!

*sets up the deck chair and weber, slops on some factor 30, readies the esky, throws some snags on the barbi, gets a coldy out, then settles down*

Cool, a spectator sport!

Mace

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Seanachai, are you completely berift of your senses man?

We have sent this clown to Coventry. Do TRY to pay attention.

Joe

Chrissake, Joe, which clown? There are so many, after all, and I'm only an Olde One, not a god.

Oh, I imagine you mean Bone Vulture. Well, I know there was some unpleasantness there, but I got an email from that idiot, AussieJeff, who told me that things were alright. I mean, other than his taste in men, I haven't seen anything particularly horrible about Bone Vulture.

And, Joe, how can any of us fault where the heart may lead?

Except, of course, We can, because that's what We do. Especially when an it's an inconsequential bit of Middle-Class, 'I always wanted to be significant, but was overly concerned with my penis and making money' piece of ****e like Vanilla Ice.

But I admire Bone Vulture for following where his heart leads. Despite, of course, that his heart has led him to a puddle of talentless vomit.

Of course, there's always lust. Shudder

I hope he's content with his mooning over a low-rent David Bowie, 'Man Who Fell To Earth' wannabe.

It's sad, really.

After all, all we require for someone who wants to belong is that they stand up on their hind legs, wave their fore-paws in the air, and sing out like they've got the self-esteem of a stoat.

Okay, there's a bit more.

A literate stoat.

And we've been making exceptions for Vadr now for a while.

If he could prove that he's ever even read a book.

Bloody Floridians.

[Moraine Sedai]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

Bloody Floridians.

Nonono...dear Seanachai, it is pronounced: Floridiots. At least, that's what we've always called them since they can't drive a lick. I can't stand it when someone leaves the gate open and lets them meander out of their paddock and northward into Georgia. No signals, no looking before changing lanes. Going 20 miles under the speed limit.

No respect whatsoever for those on the road already.

I think I'm gonna head south for a bit and double lock that paddock gate. Throw a bit of barbed wire on top and set mines along the whole thing. Maybe that'll keep 'em out.

Then there's Alabama drivers....*shudder*

[ March 14, 2003, 09:30 PM: Message edited by: Moraine Sedai ]

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Egbert:

Oh, and Boo 2 things:

</font>

• I don't get bolded yet.</font>
• Yer bootheel on the back of my neck is starting to cramp my style down here in julepland. Please get a job, else I'll never be able to share my pain at this time of year.</font>

Oh, you annoying little piece of leftover phlegm, I'm a proud Kanigget of House Morse/Croda/Whatever! I'll bold you, fold you, spindle and mutilate you if I wish to! And don't you ever forget it!

I'm just now back from the bar where I spent a joyful few hours unwinding from a craptastic week, I get home to eat my pizza, fire up the ISP and see that Rune has left something warm and steamy in my mailbox!

Then I pop in here and see that not only do I still have to listen to Lars whine that I didn't tell him the average humidity and phase of the moon in a set-up I sent him, I also have to suffer through the bleatings of a pie-eyed, scrofulous, dung encrusted serf, who, even as we speak is sitting back drinking borsht while his uber-stealthed pop guns are turning my armor into shrapnel! To top it all off, Seanachai sobered up just long enough to disentangle his bandy little legs from his Dr. Dentons, to inform us that we're once again fighting the war of Southern aggression that I thought we had already won, and my musket is out being rebored!!!

So, walk softly little Egbert. Walk softly.

[Jim Boggs]

It had been a sleepless night. Racing thoughts, replaying the events of the nightmare without end. What had gone wrong? His keen senses, sharpened to their utmost by the clean clear Florida air. His muscles and sinews honed to razor-sharpness under the warmth of the Sunshine State's namesake. The sweet smell of Orange Blossoms inundating his sense of smell and with it a cold chill as if in some way it was connected to his fate.

So sweet as to be sickening, his head whirling with nausea, and then it passed, as if chased away by a sudden shower that cleansed him and set him free. His eyes were aflame, his heart beat wildly as he suddenly realized:

The Sissies were GIRLS!!

Also known as the Unfair sex. Their devious devices and cunning charm had disarmed him completely and unexpectedly. Now he knew what he must do. The Stealth Beetle was waiting, eager to set out. It would be a long trip. Florida is, after all, a long state, but the scallywags and scoundrels were already enroute.

[Moraine Sedai]

Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by rune:

Oh Dame Moraine , in a particually nasty mood, due to the fact the some IS departments are totally clueless, I want you to pick a fight with say.... Boo , and once he accepts, I will be sending a particularly evil scenario to cause you both much pain. This scenario has not been seen in the MBT

Oh, swell...I've been noticed by Rune.

To quote Dorothy Parker, "What fresh hell is this?" </font>

[Moraine Sedai]

Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

...To top it all off, Seanachai sobered up just long enough to disentangle his bandy little legs from his Dr. Dentons, to inform us that we're once again fighting the war of Southern aggression that I thought we had already won, and my musket is out being rebored!!!

Oh...that tears it! Now you've got my fur ruffled! You wanna be that way? Fine by me! It's on and I'm gonna be wearing your damnyankee posterior as a hat when I'm done with you! How dare you bring that scuffle up with me in the room!?!

Besides...winning is relative.

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

To combat too much Vanilla Ice:

A picture of Lady Moraine Sedai and my niece Rebecca

[MrSpkr]

Originally posted by Moraine Sedai:

Oh...that tears it! Now you've got my fur ruffled! You wanna be that way? Fine by me! It's on and I'm gonna be wearing your damnyankee posterior as a hat when I'm done with you! How dare you bring that scuffle up with me in the room!?!

Note to self -- this is why upsetting Southern women is a big mistake.

I'm going to enjoy this.

Steve

[Moraine Sedai]

Being in a foul humor from not only having one of her liege's scenarios foisted upon her after a particularly exhausting day, then having 'ye old scuffle' mentioned - wherein the yanks keep insisting that they won when all we did was lose interest in the battle, she paces the floor furiously.

Finally, she decides someone must pay for the heinous day she has had. She packs up the jacked up four-wheel drive with the KC lights on top and a bumper sticker on the back that says "Kiss My Grits" with enough barbed wire and anti-personnel mines to run the length of the Georgia-Florida border and gets a few provisions for her journey.

She packs RC cola and moon pies and grabs her Garth Brooks and Shania Twain CD's, then throws on her cammos and HiTechs and heads out.

It's a short trip. Just a few hours. She should make it there in plenty of time before many more Floridiots make it across the border.

[ March 14, 2003, 10:38 PM: Message edited by: Moraine Sedai ]

[Egbert]

Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

Oh, you annoying little piece of leftover phlegm, I'm a proud Kanigget of House Morse/Croda/Whatever! I'll bold you, fold you, spindle and mutilate you if I wish to! And don't you ever forget it!

I'm just now back from the bar where I spent a joyful few hours unwinding from a craptastic week, I get home to eat my pizza, fire up the ISP and see that Rune has left something warm and steamy in my mailbox!

Then I pop in here and see that not only do I still have to listen to Lars whine that I didn't tell him the average humidity and phase of the moon in a set-up I sent him, I also have to suffer through the bleatings of a pie-eyed, scrofulous, dung encrusted serf, who, even as we speak is sitting back drinking borsht while his uber-stealthed pop guns are turning my armor into shrapnel! To top it all off, Seanachai sobered up just long enough to disentangle his bandy little legs from his Dr. Dentons, to inform us that we're once again fighting the war of Southern aggression that I thought we had already won, and my musket is out being rebored!!!

So, walk softly little Egbert. Walk softly.

Geez Boo there's 2 more things then:

</font>

• I'm not leftover</font>
• Mah musket is not in the shop, it's right there on the wall.</font>

So you just keep thinkin' I need to walk softly, see just how far that get's ya.

[Moraine Sedai]

Originally posted by MrSpkr:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Moraine Sedai:

Oh...that tears it! Now you've got my fur ruffled! You wanna be that way? Fine by me! It's on and I'm gonna be wearing your damnyankee posterior as a hat when I'm done with you! How dare you bring that scuffle up with me in the room!?!

Note to self -- this is why upsetting Southern women is a big mistake.

I'm going to enjoy this.

Steve </font>

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Originally posted by Mace:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai:

IT'S TIME FOR A GOOD OLD, US-VERSUS-THEM CIVIL WAR!

*sets up the deck chair and weber, slops on some factor 30, readies the esky, throws some snags on the barbi, gets a coldy out, then settles down*

Cool, a spectator sport!

Mace </font>

[Mace]

Originally posted by Moraine Sedai:

Oh...that tears it! Now you've got my fur ruffled! You wanna be that way? Fine by me! It's on and I'm gonna be wearing your damnyankee posterior as a hat when I'm done with you! How dare you bring that scuffle up with me in the room!?!

KICK HIM AGAIN, MORAINE! LAY THE BOOT INTO THE MONGREL!!!

Crikey, AJ, this is great sport, hey mate?

Mace

[Jim Boggs]

Oh my God there's been a URL breach, the northern road sudenly wwwwwwwwwwwwwwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiddddddddeeeeennnneeeeeddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

[Later]-This takes some getting used too, wonder what's on the radio? The lonesome strains of Jimmy Buffett "There's a woooman to blame, and I know".......

[ March 14, 2003, 11:28 PM: Message edited by: Jim Boggs ]

[Joe Shaw]

Oh, I imagine you mean Bone Vulture. Well, I know there was some unpleasantness there, but I got an email from that idiot, AussieJeff, who told me that things were alright. I mean, other than his taste in men, I haven't seen anything particularly horrible about Bone Vulture.

Oh Seanachai ... how are the mighty fallen ... well, not exactly MIGHTY in your case of course ... more like notable perhaps ... adequate, yes that's it, How Are The Adequate Fallen. Much better.

Let's examine your statement above and we'll see if it holds water shall we then?

Well, I know there was some unpleasantness there,

Unpleasantness is it? Unpleasantness? It was UNPLEASANT when the drains got stopped up while I was Outlaw Justicar and the pretender king Meeks did bugger all about it. It was UNPLEASANT when you were inviting every stray outerboarder in for a lark. It was UNPLEASANT when lenakonrad was posting every other minute.

Sending someone to COVENTRY is not UNPLEASANT Seanachai (especially not in THIS case, rather enjoyed it in fact) it is our equivilant of CAPITAL PUNISHMENT ... and a capital idea in this case as well, as ALL here so attested.

Are we now to ignore the sentence passed by acclimation because YOU desire it to be so? First Berli would pass judgement on who may or may not post, how they would post and what they would post and now YOU will blithley ... blightyly ... bli ... lightly throw over the collective judgement of the Knights of the CessPool assembled on a whim?

But that's not all, Seanachai, oh no, not all by any means:

but I got an email from that idiot, AussieJeff, who told me that things were alright.

I'll give you this, you got his title correct, for if ever an idiot there was it was and IS AussieJeff. But since when are we to take the word of ... for the love of Gawd Seanachai ... AussieJeff for ANYTHING? This is the man who creates scenarios and then crows of the fact that he wins them ... SOMETIMES!

But Seanachai have you forgotten? Can it have slipped your mind as apparently the cogs of reality are slipping from your worldview that AussieJeff is ... an Australian? You, Seanachai, the worlds foremost Australian baiter, would now take advice from one? The ... the SHAME of it.

I mean, other than his taste in men, I haven't seen anything particularly horrible about Bone Vulture.

Were you here then Seanachai ... were you present during the dark days when every other post was some diatribe AGAINST THE SACRED MUTHA BEAUTIFUL THREAD posted by that ill-mannered cretin? YOU WERE NOT! It was we who were besieged by his foul mutterings, it was we who couldn't post a taunt without having to wade through post after post of his childish and spite filled denunciations of The Peng Challenge Thread.

And now you would dare to tell us that we were wrong? You hold yourself in far too high an esteem sir.

Luckily we hold you in FAR less esteem so the two will balance each other.

Joe

[Seanachai]

D'ya know, normally when I 'adapt' a song for the Peng Challenge, I take something mainstream, and classic, and (for anyone with half an f'ing brain) utterly recognizable, and unashamedly make it my own.

But then, occassionally, I encounter a song so classic that it isn't, in fact, yet a classic.

From whence my dilemma arises.

Not, actually, a dilemma. Rather, I acknowledge my need to 'adapt' this song to the Peng Challenge Thread, while pointing everyone who isn't a complete sodding idjit in the direction of the original.

Especially in these dark, dark days, when so few people have actually listened to such classics as 'Blonde on Blonde'. Or 'Abby Road'. Or 'I Am Henry the Eighth I am'.

So, with all apologies to Dan Bern, I give you the New, Revealed, Anthem Candidate of the Peng Challenge Thread:

The Peng Challenge Thread Parade

Everybody was ecstatic

'Bout the light show on the thread

And everyone got crazy

And nobody went dead

And the five televisions

Huge upon the stage

Had come to pay their union dues

And make a living wage

And the bathroom was the clubhouse

Where the colors all got made

And plans were cast in feathers

For the Peng Challenge Thread Parade

And the DJ spins his records

From here out to the sun

And he flings them through a big hole

In the ozone one by one

And somewhere beyond Mercury

The wax begins to melt

And we touched a perfect stranger

And we loved the way it felt

And we all hung together

In our crew cuts and our braids

Floating down Forum

Above the Peng Challenge Thread Parade

You and I were discussing Kitty

While you poised to thrust above her

And I told you how I admire her

And how you'll always need to love her

And I told you how so many lost

Their way to MrPeng

And we slowly started dancing

And began to remember many things

And then we all held hands

And no one was afraid

On our way to abuse all others

At the Peng Challenge Thread Parade

And Michelangelo finally came down

After four years on the ceiling

He said he'd lost his funding

And the paint had started peeling

And he told us that his patron

His Holiness, the Pope

Was demanding productivity

With which our friend just couldn't cope

And he rode off on his skateboard

With his brushes and his blade

Muttering something 'bout some food

And the Peng Challenge Thread Parade

And we who were born in one millennium

And will die in the next

Are slightly underappreciated

And slightly oversexed

And as the seconds and the minutes

Start to vanish one by one

I'm watching more cartoons

As I get my toenails done

And we went downtown to deliver

Turkeys to people with AIDS

And then we headed uptown

To the Peng Challenge Thread Parade

And the music keeps on grinding

And the electrophonic crunch

And my father's hair is thinning

And my mom ate some for lunch

And you, you were my babysitter

And you let me break my tooth

And we sit here tied together

In a bar in the back booth

And the band is in an uproar

Only the drum machine's been paid

And we'll have to bring our own tunes

To the Peng Challenge Thread Parade

Australians are the vilest

People in the world

Let's all go down under

With strings of colored pearls

And lay them at the feet

Of the heirs of English crime

And listen to old 'Men At Work'

And have a real good time

And we dug until we hit the rocks

Then we threw away the spade

And built a platform to get a better view

Of the Peng Challenge Thread Parade

And I love whoever's next to me

I love them so, so much

They let me lean against them

Like a beautiful crutch

And everyone should come up

On the stage and grab the mike

And tell us one by one

Who they are and what they like

And the SSNs are the only ones

To have lately gotten laid

And I'm feeling young and eager

For the Peng Challenge Thread Parade

And you explained to me that without your fans

You'd be back out on the street

With nothing but chitlins on your plate

And splinters in your feet

And if you die, you're gone you said

And your friends are left behind

And you'll be a statistic

And we'll be deaf and blind

And darkness is a virtue

And molasses is not afraid

To slow down the countdown

To the Peng Challenge Thread Parade

And somewhere in the distance

An orchestra shows its face

With Persephone on the oboe

Berli on double bass

Peng plays the viola

Shaw the tenor sax

Emma blows harmonica

In vanilla skin-tight slacks

Hakko oozes alto sax

Moriarity the trombone

Bauhaus squawks the trumpet

Andreas the xylophone

Goanna he shreds the violin

In a green Italian suit

Hiram talks on the telephone

On a tape with an endless loop

Geier he blows the clarinet

With an old-time rockin' feel

Lawyer dings the triangle

Morse the glockenspiel

Mace puffs on the tuba

OGSF the big bass drum

Stuka throbs the cello

Like he would a woman, with his thumb

And high up on the podium

In tails with his baton poised

Seanachai leads the orchestra

In a glorious, awful noise

And on a float of dripping oil paint

The orchestra, it played

Kissing the whole universe

In the Peng Challenge Thread Parade

And life is like a fairy tale

Every step feels like a dream

That keeps on getting nearer

And more and more extreme

And we just got switched with Venus

And we're closer to the sun

And I got no problem with it

Nor should anyone

And the cops just blew on in here

And we're in some kind of raid

I just hope they will release us

For the Peng Challenge Thread Parade

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

To combat too much Vanilla Ice:

A picture of Lady Moraine Sedai and my niece Rebecca

What a good looking child.

Anyone else reading George RR Martin and getting some discomfiting feelings about House Arryn?

[Gaylord Focker]

1880 A.D.

Straight razor and

Shaving soap

1930 A.D.

Safety razor and

Burma-Shave

[Jim Boggs]

Long ago, in the misty time, many ages ago

There came a junior member, so little he did know

A little drop of silliness had earned a stern reply

His stomach churned, his heart beat fast, his lips were oh so dry

And then there came the ancient one, whose eyes denied his age

"Buck up my lad" he said with a smile "Learn to turn the page"

"Humor and wit are the weapons of life, you must develop your skill"

Then he was gone, in a wisp of blue smoke, leaving me with a bill

So now the clock ticks on and on, time to repay a debt

Kick some Minnesota Butt, get Seanachai to the vet

[Seanachai]

I liked that, actually. It read rather well.

Except for the last two lines. Mean spirited bugger. As if I weren't the nice one.

What, are we all going to hug Berli this Spring?

[ March 15, 2003, 01:43 AM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

I liked that, actually. It read rather well.

What, are we all going to hug Berli this Spring?

To quote Wierd Al: "I'd rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue..."

[**YK2**]

Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai:

I liked that, actually. It read rather well.

What, are we all going to hug Berli this Spring?

To quote Wierd Al: "I'd rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue..." </font>

[Bone_Vulture]

Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

To combat too much Vanilla Ice:

A picture of Lady Moraine Sedai and my niece Rebecca

:eek:

But enough of that. Don't you fools know that V-Ice has been "keepin' it real" since the.... Uh, early 70's?