AUSSIEJEFF Posted February 26, 2003 Share Posted February 26, 2003 Originally posted by Egbert: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Nidan1: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by dalem: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Egbert: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by dalem: I was up far earlier. I just wanted to bitch. Don't do it here, that's what your family is for. </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SgtMuhammed Posted February 26, 2003 Share Posted February 26, 2003 <font size=+1>To Save A King</font> Part 1: In the quiet town of Seubersdorf, Germany great things are afoot. Young squire in waiting (or waiting to be squire, something like that) SgtGoody is busy putting the final touches on his PAV (Passat Assault Vehicle). We behold a breathtaking sight of the mighty battlewagon. A fire engine red 93 VW Passat covered in duct tape and plastic wrap (had to use that cling free stuff, we're working with a low budget here folks). In the front seat is a six pack of Coke and a map of Luxemburg (hey a map's a map right). An old antena ball peers out of the plastic like a noble scout. The brave warrior steps back from his handy work and utters the imortal words... How am I supposed to open the damn door?!!! <font size=-1>to be continued.....</font> [ February 26, 2003, 02:24 AM: Message edited by: sGTGoody ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted February 26, 2003 Share Posted February 26, 2003 Dearest AussieJeff. You know the great esteem that I hold you in. Which is, in point of fact, almost no esteem at all. That being the case, it signifies that I do, in fact, hold you in some sort of esteem, which is more than can be said for most Outer Boarders, anyone from West Palm Beach, Florida, and chihuahuas (the pseudo-dogs, not the residents of the Mexican State). That all being said, it's become necessary to speak to you on a topic. A serious topic. A topic of much import. There is, lad, SIMPLY NO SODDING REASON ON THIS GODDAMN PLANET TO BE CONSTANTLY POSTING A BLOODY TWO FOOT LONG TRAIL OF NESTED POSTS WHEN THE ONLY DAMNABLE THING YOU'RE ACTUALLY RESPONDING TO IS ONE F'ING SENTENCE, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT IS, ALMOST INVARIABLY, THE LAST F'ING SENTENCE! Edit your bloody replies, you lackwitted Kanga Wanker. Anyone who hasn't the bloody wit to sort out the chain of posts that leads up to your almost magically half-witted response isn't worth taking by the privates and dragging around the bloody Thread, now are they? Remember, lad, we're not judging you by the 'length' of your posts, but by the ability to string together the words to entertain us. As things 'stand' right now, I have this extremely unwholesome vision of you standing in front of your monitor, tape measure in hand, and cackling "There, by God! That post is 14 inches long, and 10 inches wide! That'll show them the manliness of an AussieJeff!" In sooth, good Knight. Practice some restraint. And throw a towel over it, fer Chrissake! [ February 26, 2003, 02:33 AM: Message edited by: Seanachai ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest PondScum Posted February 26, 2003 Share Posted February 26, 2003 But </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Seanachai </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />isn't </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />he </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />your </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />ex-squire? It's </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SgtMuhammed Posted February 26, 2003 Share Posted February 26, 2003 Actually I think Berli is responsible for this one (as he is for so many others). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egbert Posted February 26, 2003 Share Posted February 26, 2003 Seeing as how I'm just your serf, let me help in the only way I know how. By providing examples of things not to do. For example, my leige Senechai, (hey, isn't that a granola girl drink from Oregon?) Doesn't want any of you doing this: Esp. those that should know better. Originally posted by AUssieJEFF: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Egbert: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Nidan1: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by dalem: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Egbert: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by dalem: I was up far earlier. I just wanted to bitch. Don't do it here, that's what your family is for. </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AUSSIEJEFF Posted February 26, 2003 Share Posted February 26, 2003 Originally posted by Seanachai: Dearest AussieJeff. You know the great esteem that I hold you in. Which is, in point of fact, almost no esteem at all. That being the case, it signifies that I do, in fact, hold you in some sort of esteem, which is more than can be said for most Outer Boarders, anyone from West Palm Beach, Florida, and chihuahuas (the pseudo-dogs, not the residents of the Mexican State). That all being said, it's become necessary to speak to you on a topic. A serious topic. A topic of much import. There is, lad, SIMPLY NO SODDING REASON ON THIS GODDAMN PLANET TO BE CONSTANTLY POSTING A BLOODY TWO FOOT LONG TRAIL OF NESTED POSTS WHEN THE ONLY DAMNABLE THING YOU'RE ACTUALLY RESPONDING TO IS ONE F'ING SENTENCE, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT IS, ALMOST INVARIABLY, THE LAST F'ING SENTENCE! Edit your bloody replies, you lackwitted Kanga Wanker. Anyone who hasn't the bloody wit to sort out the chain of posts that leads up to your almost magically half-witted response isn't worth taking by the privates and dragging around the bloody Thread, now are they? Remember, lad, we're not judging you by the 'length' of your posts, but by the ability to string together the words to entertain us. As things 'stand' right now, I have this extremely unwholesome vision of you standing in front of your monitor, tape measure in hand, and cackling "There, by God! That post is 14 inches long, and 10 inches wide! That'll show them the manliness of an AussieJeff!" In sooth, good Knight. Practice some restraint. And throw a towel over it, fer Chrissake! You spelt "Christsake" wrong. AJ PS: It makes me so happy to stir you back into your olde self. Like molasses into a sticky pudding. Mmmmm... let the unruly masses take succour from the bosom of your verbosity. Welcome back, you funny little man with a somewhat dulled pointy red cap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted February 26, 2003 Share Posted February 26, 2003 Originally posted by sGTGoody: You seek to post here, and yet you also post in the Master Goodale threads. A man must be either here, or there. Examine your allegiances, sirrah, and proclaim them. Do you stand with Peng, who shall, at Ragnarok, stand up and Challenge the very gods, or do you wish to make puppy noises and grimace at lackwitted teenagers (and that Pommie bastard Soddball, who is not me), and stand with Master Goodale? Declare yourself, and, if you choose the Cesspool, than declare yourself with honour. Something lengthy, with a theme, allusions, and a clear statement of why you've cast your loyalty where you have. We all witnessed, and the Justicar forever keeps fresh in the memory of anyone who still bothers to post in the Peng Challenge Thread, the 'apostasy' of Meeks. But who do the Powers loathe more, I ask you? Apostates, who forsake their allegiance to pursue schism (and their own spiritual, if twisted, vision of what the Thread should be), or heretics, infidels, and roight stupid buggers who keep posting over and over again about the power of TNT to unblock the lower bowel, and its ability to finally clear up that annoying acne problem? SgtGoody, you nearly prostrated under a shower of urine idjit, which side are you on? [ February 26, 2003, 02:53 AM: Message edited by: Seanachai ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AUSSIEJEFF Posted February 26, 2003 Share Posted February 26, 2003 Originally posted by PondScum: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />But </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Seanachai </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />isn't </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />he </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />your </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />ex-squire? It's </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted February 26, 2003 Share Posted February 26, 2003 Originally posted by AUssieJEFF: You spelt "Christsake" wrong. I did not, you toad. I spelt it as I did so as to diminish the discomfort that might be felt by our more 'religious' members. Here in the Peng Challenge Thread, we are all about the 'Tolerance of Intolerance'. I may hate every sodding thing about you, but I will defend to the death your right to be the most annoying piece of ****e on the planet, so long as I believe you to have half a brain, the courage of your convictions, the ability to string your idiocy together in such fashion as to make me think, and the sense of honour to admit that I might be as annoying, stupid, and possibly valid as you are, in my own way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SgtMuhammed Posted February 26, 2003 Share Posted February 26, 2003 I stand for and in the Pool. My trespasses were in time of trouble, when all that we held dear was in confusion and disorder. Being a simple SSN I was powerless to influence the great events around me. Hopeless and alone I wandered through the outer boards. While civil war and undeclared weapons of mass destruction were raising their ugly heads in the most sacred Pool I sought a refuge. Sadly I stumbled, dazed and confused, into the intellectual void that is the Waffle Thread. Perhaps, thought I, that I could bring wit and wisdom to the barbarians, much as the Roman Legions did in Gaul. Alas my efforts were in vain as I felt IQ points being sucked away with each post. It was horrid, like listening to the Spice Girls. I still wake screaming from the memories. So I returned to the Pool, whatever chaos awaited me there I would endure because even at its worst the MBT is better than others at their best. How I rejoiced when Meeks took the crown and elation filled me when the schism with the Justicar was healed. This was home. A place of wit and wisdom (well if you leave out Sir AJ and his squire anyway) worth fighting for. Soon that need arose as a specter from the outer boards attempted to sully the waters of the Pool. Without regard for my own safety I rose to the defense of the Pool against the foul invader and helped to drive it into Coventry. Ah but the joy was short lived as a new crisis arose and our noble King was taken by out of focus pseudo-dogs. So even now I prepare the Passat Kampf Wagen for battle in my lone quest to defeat the oofpds and return the King to his throne so that prosperity and happiness (you know that whole King Arthur thing) will once again bless this land. I stand for the King and for the Pool over which he reigns. (We could still use some room fresheners in here though.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AUSSIEJEFF Posted February 26, 2003 Share Posted February 26, 2003 Originally posted by Seanachai: I might be as annoying, stupid, and possibly valid as you are, in my own way. *Bows*. Indeed, brother* Ubergnome, I believe you might be far superiour in every way. Sinatra has no dibs on you..... Peace, Sir Aj *Olde Pot Head Pixie Thus Spaken In The Age Olde Tongue, A Strange Calm Settled Once More 'Pon The Scum-Frothed Cesspool... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AUSSIEJEFF Posted February 26, 2003 Share Posted February 26, 2003 Originally posted by sGTGoody: I stand for the King and for the Pool over which he reigns. *<BIG>BZZZ-TTT*!! WRONG ANSWER, mr GOOdy. What you SHOULD have said to save your bacon was - I stand for the Pool, which reigns supreme and forever over any one individual and certainly over any so-called King, recently aprostate. But you DID NOT. You stand EXPOSED for who you REALLY are. A simple HERETIC,with NAKED AMBITIONS, cruelly be-sotted with the pseudo-power aura of <SMALL>mEEK!s<BIG>. Come, come, lad! Are you one who believes any one person/thing/whatever is MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE HOLEY POOL! Wot? If ye answer in the affirmative, I say BURN HIM! Hmm. Let's see if you float, eh? That should prove the matter. Failing THAT, we can apply THE BRICK and then THE POINTY STICK until you doth CONFESS YOUR SINS! REPENT, and be true to your name, before it's TOO LATE... AJ Defending The Pool To The Last Wo+Man <small>[ February 26, 2003, 04:32 AM: Message edited by: AUssieJEFF ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AUSSIEJEFF Posted February 26, 2003 Share Posted February 26, 2003 UBB SUCKS! [ February 26, 2003, 04:26 AM: Message edited by: AUssieJEFF ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted February 26, 2003 Share Posted February 26, 2003 The gnarled and bent figure, chin in hand, contemplates the Wasteland. He pats the head of the odd little off-white terrier at his side, and says: "Good dog, Patch. Now, go be eaten by the Hell Hounds." Do you know, we've never, actually, had the chance before. I mean, our loathsome existence was always subject to containing ourselves. But now, there is something 'Other'. An obviously sanctioned entity of posts that are far more disgusting, vile, and useless than the Cesspool will ever be. Ladies, Seniour Knights, Knights, Squires, Serfs, and All Those Who've Made the Peng Challenge Thread the Longest Running, Most Posted To Bit of Internet Idiocy In Human History! I call upon you! I rouse you up! Like the Knights Templar, the Order the Knights of the Cesspool most resembles, I declare a Crusade upon all pretenders to the Peng Challenge! What are these 'Master Goodale' threads that we should suffer their calumny? How, when we have paved the way for all threads that would sing their own song, should we suffer these weak, puerile threads to exist? Come, my Obnoxious Brothers (such as you are)! Come, and let us show Soddball and his lackwitted teenagers what a true Holy War is like! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AUSSIEJEFF Posted February 26, 2003 Share Posted February 26, 2003 Originally posted by Seanachai: Come, my Obnoxious Brothers (such as you are)! Come, and let us show Soddball and his lackwitted teenagers what a true Holy War is like! AYE! I'll stand with you Olde One! AYE! I'll protect you with my Rapier Wit AYE! I'll quaff a victory ale with you, 'ere the gory baettle is won! ASIDE: {err.... Sir Brave Crusader Gnome, didn't you mean "Holey" War? Like, you said to me you didn't want to upset the religious ones like, so I thought "Holy" might be too sanctimonious like - darn it, know I'm all confused..?}<BIG> Sir AJ Seanachai's Faithfull Knight Champion In - "The Mother Of All Crusades <SUP>tm</SUP>" - coming soon to a theatre of war near YOU! <small>[ February 26, 2003, 04:47 AM: Message edited by: AUssieJEFF ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AUSSIEJEFF Posted February 26, 2003 Share Posted February 26, 2003 Ha! News From The Front: Today at whatever time it happend to be at the time, a DECISIVE PRE-EMPTIVE STRIKE was made on known PENG TERRORIST CAMPS just to the north of the SACRED and HOLEY MBT, thus flushing out the eevil Peng fugitives "Soddallbollocks" and "Massa GoodLordI'mAWhale". The brave Crusader Gnome smote one of the Sodds with a withering blast from his rapid-fire MachineLanguageGun. A second massive strike was heard a few seconds later as heroic Sir Aussiejeff, staunch and Faithfull Crusader Knight Champion To Seanachai, lobbed a mighty MKII S.O.D.D. bomb into the infidels midst. Oh, didst they flee in horror!! Having dealt manfully with the ANTI-PENG villains, it is hoped that the PENG TERROR alerts will subside, but WE MUST BE EVER VIGILANTE! Report ALL SUSPICIOUS ANTI-PENG BEHAVIOUR AT ONCE to THE GRUE! SUSPECT ALL SSN'S. CHECK THEIR PAPERS!! That is all, Sir AJ Knight Fighting Champion [ February 26, 2003, 06:58 AM: Message edited by: AUssieJEFF ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidan1 Posted February 26, 2003 Share Posted February 26, 2003 Originally posted by sGTGoody: I stand for and in the Pool. My trespasses were in time of trouble, when all that we held dear was in confusion and disorder. Being a simple SSN I was powerless to influence the great events around me. Hopeless and alone I wandered through the outer boards. While civil war and undeclared weapons of mass destruction were raising their ugly heads in the most sacred Pool I sought a refuge. Sadly I stumbled, dazed and confused, into the intellectual void that is the Waffle Thread. Perhaps, thought I, that I could bring wit and wisdom to the barbarians, much as the Roman Legions did in Gaul. Alas my efforts were in vain as I felt IQ points being sucked away with each post. It was horrid, like listening to the Spice Girls. I still wake screaming from the memories. So I returned to the Pool, whatever chaos awaited me there I would endure because even at its worst the MBT is better than others at their best. How I rejoiced when Meeks took the crown and elation filled me when the schism with the Justicar was healed. This was home. A place of wit and wisdom (well if you leave out Sir AJ and his squire anyway) worth fighting for. Soon that need arose as a specter from the outer boards attempted to sully the waters of the Pool. Without regard for my own safety I rose to the defense of the Pool against the foul invader and helped to drive it into Coventry. Ah but the joy was short lived as a new crisis arose and our noble King was taken by out of focus pseudo-dogs. So even now I prepare the Passat Kampf Wagen for battle in my lone quest to defeat the oofpds and return the King to his throne so that prosperity and happiness (you know that whole King Arthur thing) will once again bless this land. I stand for the King and for the Pool over which he reigns. (We could still use some room fresheners in here though.) I believe this idjit has made his committment...(too bad for him), I once again request the ignominius right....wrong? to take him to squire, and thusly, cleanse and expunge all traces of that pretender thread from his pea brain. [ February 26, 2003, 07:25 AM: Message edited by: Nidan1 ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted February 26, 2003 Share Posted February 26, 2003 Originally posted by Seanachai: Come, my Obnoxious Brothers (such as you are)! Come, and let us show Soddball and his lackwitted teenagers what a true Holy War is like! Right... Here we go again. First Seanachai gets a little bored and so he attempts to foist a king on us. And we all saw that that concept went over like a pregnant pole vaulter. I mean, all the guy can do is constantly post that annoying self portrait. (What? That's not a self portrait? I thought it was sort of a reverse "Dorian Grey" thingy. You know, if the portrait looks THAT bad, how much worse would he be in person? But it's not him, huh? You're sure about this? Well...OK, I guess.) Moving right along... So now, Seanachai has bestirred himself, rolled out of his damp, moldy cot, rubbed his gummy, rheumy eyes...and found the Goodale thread. And so now we have another quest du jure, sponsored by a man with the attention span of a hummingbird on methamphetamines, Ducky. Just ducky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest konrad Posted February 26, 2003 Share Posted February 26, 2003 Originally posted by Boo_Radley: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai: Come, my Obnoxious Brothers (such as you are)! Come, and let us show Soddball and his lackwitted teenagers what a true Holy War is like! Right... Here we go again. First Seanachai gets a little bored and so he attempts to foist a king on us. And we all saw that that concept went over like a pregnant pole vaulter. I mean, all the guy can do is constantly post that annoying self portrait. (What? That's not a self portrait? I thought it was sort of a reverse "Dorian Grey" thingy. You know, if the portrait looks THAT bad, how much worse would he be in person? But it's not him, huh? You're sure about this? Well...OK, I guess.) Moving right along... So now, Seanachai has bestirred himself, rolled out of his damp, moldy cot, rubbed his gummy, rheumy eyes...and found the Goodale thread. And so now we have another quest du jure, sponsored by a man with the attention span of a hummingbird on methamphetamines, Ducky. Just ducky. </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moraine Sedai Posted February 26, 2003 Share Posted February 26, 2003 Originally posted by lenakonrad: Boo - you such a looser.. konrad Faithfull Squire To SIR AUSSIEJEFF Oh my! What a glorious post! What insidious architecture to his genius use of vocabulary! All stand in not-awe of his hideous attempts again and again to insult which only come out as third grade epithets. Get a dictionary, lenaboob. Edited because AJ is such a pedantic, nit-picking git who can't cut a girl any slack when she's only half-awake. BTW, my half-awake posts are infinitely more well-thought-out and interesting than anything your squire can come up with at his sharpest and wittiest. [ February 26, 2003, 11:33 AM: Message edited by: Moraine Sedai ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted February 26, 2003 Author Share Posted February 26, 2003 Seanachai, if you have the time to declare jihad on the TNT terrorists, the time to attempt to instruct AJ in proper posting etiquette {I'm not sure which is the more pointless endeavor}, and all in addition to the time it took to defeat the evil MSN Butterfly {who said Berli couldn't create?}, YOU HAVE THE TIME TO SEND ME THE SODDING SURRENDER!!! P.S. – get any mail lately? SSN Hint Of The Day: Prevaricate, obfuscate and complicate. Now sod off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hakko Ichiu Posted February 26, 2003 Share Posted February 26, 2003 Originally posted by Egbert: Any other way I can be of assistance, just kick me until I wakeup. Can't I just kick you until you don't wake up? It would be a win-win situation all around; definitely Pareto-optimal. Originally posted by Seanachai: Like the Knights Templar, the Order the Knights of the Cesspool most resembles, I declare a Crusade upon all pretenders to the Peng Challenge! The MBT crumbles around him and the Olde One calls for Holy War? Is this naught but a cynical attempt to distract the easily led from the sorry state of domestic affairs within the 'Pool itself? What damage have these threads done to us? Is there any real, verifiable evidence that they intend to cause us harm, or could even do so? Can we not simply contain them? Is it not the job of the moderators who represent the entire community to exercise their mandate on these so-called "rogue threads" (although I prefer the term "thread of concern")? I think we have to look for a darker motive behind all this. Specifically, a thick, dark substance which Seanachai and all his like lust after. I refer of course, to Guinness Stout! We all know that he is addicted to it. He refuses to cut down his consumption or even attempt to find domestic substitutes such as Bartles and Jaymes Winecoolers (which are domestically produced and known to be better for the health and the environment). Well, I say, "NOT IN MY NAME! NO CRUSADE FOR BEER!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AUSSIEJEFF Posted February 26, 2003 Share Posted February 26, 2003 Originally posted by Moraine Sedai: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by lenakonrad: Boo - you such a looser.. konrad Faithfull Squire To SIR AUSSIEJEFF Oh my! What a glorious post! What insidious architecture to his genius use of vocabulary! All stand in not-awe of his hideous attempts again and again to insult which only come out as third grade epiteths. Get a dictionary, lenaboob. </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted February 26, 2003 Share Posted February 26, 2003 Originally posted by lenakonrad: Boo - you such a looser.. konrad Faithfull Squire To SIR AUSSIEJEFFRight. This one's a freebie, leaningkorndog: It's "loser", not "looser" and "faithful" is spelled with one "l". Thus endeth the lesson. It breakes my heart to see a young one squired to a gibbering maniac like Aussie Jeff. It's like having Zippy the Pinhead for your mentor. Sad, really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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