Croda Posted January 28, 2003 Share Posted January 28, 2003 Originally posted by Andreas: Oh, look. Croda is back. Shurely everything will be right now. Damned German skrewing up his spelling...again. Don't you fret. I won't be looking to take your seat next to Bauhaus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egbert Posted January 28, 2003 Share Posted January 28, 2003 Originally posted by Seanachai : What? I'm from public school.Oh, OK. List of things for me to change. </font>No compound sentences.</font>Only punctuation should be periods and question marks.</font>No long words.</font>Stuff Minnesotans can understand.</font> Got it. Here it comes. Git. eh! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egbert Posted January 28, 2003 Share Posted January 28, 2003 Originally posted by PondScum: We have no truck with the Southerners. Unless they're willing to share that mint julep stuff. Yummy. That, I can do, and do it right. No need to bring your truck though, we've got plenty. So sorry, Cynic Eye, this is in code. You can tell by the liberal punctuation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AUSSIEJEFF Posted January 28, 2003 Share Posted January 28, 2003 Originally posted by Snarker: You lot are purveyors of filth, the Guccione's of the Cess, the PBEM versions of dirty old men leering at young ladies. That's quite enough about your redeeming qualities. Where were we? Ah, yes - your text attachments filtered out your emails, banishing them to the File of No Return. The anti-spam program in use wisely deemed them "Adult, Severe", and refused to deliver them. Now that's an unbiased opinion confirming something long suspected; your tactics and game play are the equivalent of a poorly air-brushed centerfold! And if you happen to be winning at the moment it speaks volumes to my prowess, much to my chagrin. Bah! Resend your latest turn zipped (and all future ones for a bit) and you can avoid the clever program saving me from your amateur efforts. Ahem. Please let me elucidate you, lad. You see, THE AUTHORITIES have known for some time now that you are a collector of Net Porn from all manner of perverse and beastly sites. So FOR YOUR OWN GOOD, they {THE AUTHORITIES that is} have slapped a ban on your receiving this terrible flood of filth and inserted a filter in your data pipe, as it were. Unfortunately, THE AUTHORITIES are a BUNCH OF UTTER PILLOCKS who apply such filters with A BROAD BRUSH approach - ie: anything now approaching the vicinity of your entry point with the suffix .txt is deemed to be obviously LEWD, LASCIVIOUS and PORNOGRAPHIC in nature - or all four for that matter. So, you see the problem is ONE OF YOUR OWN MAKING and there is only one way out of it. You must pledge your troth to OGSF's toy poodle. That's all you have to do. Easy isn't it? Chop chop, then. No shilly-shallying with this, lad!! Your redemption in the eyes of THE AUTHORITIES is at hand! Sir AJ Morals Champion of The 'Pool Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidan1 Posted January 28, 2003 Share Posted January 28, 2003 Originally posted by Seanachai: Going on the run with the Justicar is looking more and more appealing. Better than staying around here to be mocked and denigrated by bumpkins like Boo, and drunken louts like Lars (although he has a very nice boat...) I'll not stand for any besmirchment of the character of my Leige, Boo, bumpkin you say!. I'll have you know, that he was thrown out of Dogpatch as a young lad. "too culchured for us'ins" they said. Boo_Radley is very sophisticated, in a down home, pig-callin' contest kinda way. As for Lars well.....hmmm......we'll have to think about him a little. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Leader Posted January 28, 2003 Share Posted January 28, 2003 Originally slavered by Egbert: *Only punctuation should be periods and question marks.Okay, then: Promptly blathered by Egbert: ! You lose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted January 28, 2003 Share Posted January 28, 2003 Originally posted by Nidan1: As for Lars well.....hmmm......we'll have to think about him a little. Please don't. {I thought I felt a crawly sensation going down my spine, now I know why...} SSN Hint Of The Day: Wash whites with darks. Now sod off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hortlund Posted January 28, 2003 Share Posted January 28, 2003 Its that time again kids... Quest for the anointed armored car Battle #3 Lt Hortlund vs sgtgoody AAR A dozen ships flying the Soviet colors were rapidly approaching from the east. There were no time to prepare defensive positions as the Commies would be within firing range any minute. As the tiny frigates were trying to move north to evade battle the warships set battle sails and formed a defensive line to block the red ships. Only 5 warships were included in this line. Soon the first ships opened fire. At the far south of the Axis line the 32 cannon frigate "Audacity" engaged two Soviet ships closing in on her. The hostile ships did not even try to maneuver, they just kept going straight at her at full speed. They probably wanted to board her to make most use of their advantage in manpower. "Audacity" was dividing her firepower to inflict as much damage as possible on the two ships before they could grabble her. Soon the sound of musket fire could be heard from the south, the Communists would soon be within boarding range. The main thrust came in the middle however, where 6 red frigates were trying to force an opening in the Axis line. Here, just 3 ships, "Mars", "Victory" and "Dr Banana" lay between the Soviets and the tiny frigates. A bad move by one of the Soviet ships put her right in front of "Dr Banana" who managed to rake her twice with full broadsides. This put the soviet ship out of the action and she was last seen trying to retreat south. Meanwhile "Mars" and "Victory" were engaging 3 Russian ships a bit further to the north. It was impossible to see how the battle went over there due to the large clouds of smoke from the cannons. The communist ships were at a serious disadvantage though as they were all still flying full sails. Undoubtedly the vile Soviet admiral had his sights set for the tiny frigates, and wanted to breach the axis line as soon as possible. This led to the red ships being more vulnerable to chain shots however, and soon two more German ships were forced to retreat south without any sails. At the extreme north of the Swedish line "Bedside Romeo" was fighting alone against 3 Soviet ships. No news were heard from that part of the line, and nothing could be seen through the thick smoke. Musket fire could be heard though. The Axis line was rapidly deteriorating, as the engagement turned into a melee of ships. Tactical control was lost as every ship tried to survive. "Dr Banana" was hit by two broadsides that took out most of her crew. At the same time "Victory" managed to rake a soviet ship with her left broadside, and just a few seconds later fire off her right broadside against a soviet ship maneuvering to get behind her. "Mars" had been rammed by a soviet frigate and a vicious melee was taking place aboard both ships. Further south "Audacity" had driven off one of the soviet ships engaging her, and she was desperately maneuvering to avoid being boarded by the second ship. At this critical time of the battle axis morale was very low, close to the point of breaking. Then, at this critical moment, two things happened. First, two soviet ships collided as they both were trying to move within grappling range of the crippled "Dr Banana". At the same time the captain of the frigate "Victory" managed to maneuver his ship behind the now disabled soviet ships. She pumped broadside after broadside into the helpless russians. Suddenly one of the communist ships exploded with a thunderous roar. The ensuing fire soon reached the other ship too, and they slowly sank together. The three still floating soviet ships within sight of this disaster quickly decided that the battle was lost. As they were trying to escape south, one was sunk by a broadside from "Victory" and the other one lost most of her rig. Meanwhile, the crew aboard "Mars" had managed to save their ship against the boarding Soviets. The red army soldiers soon surrendered when they saw "Victory" approaching from behind, ready to blast both ships out of the water if the axis sailors should loose the battle. And thus the battle ended, with 2 axis ships badly damaged but still floating, and with 5 soviet ships lost. It was indeed a magnificent victory for the young axis navy. Key: Change all references to ships, naval battle, and medieval weapons to appropriate armored cars, land combat situations and ww2 weapons. Change the scenery from "the ocean" to "land" Instead of "vile Soviet admiral" insert "sgtgoodey" Short version: Yeah, I won this one too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted January 28, 2003 Share Posted January 28, 2003 Originally posted by Leutnant Hortlund: Row row row your boat Gently down the stream . . .Naval grog. Steve [ January 28, 2003, 10:59 AM: Message edited by: MrSpkr ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egbert Posted January 28, 2003 Share Posted January 28, 2003 Originally posted by Panzer Leader: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Promptly blathered by Egbert: ! </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BilgeRat Posted January 28, 2003 Share Posted January 28, 2003 Aaaarrgh! This is piracy! Surely the articles of war have something to say about this brazen act. A more bungling and buffoonish attempt at a nautical theme could not be imagined. Lord Nelson'd be rising up from 'is very grave at the name of his flagship being attached to such an undertaking. Not only taken, but used to name a vessel manned by those high seas galoots, the Prussians. This Hund fellow is no sea dog. His Norse ancestry diluted by generations of breeding with some landlocked race. Probably Austrians or Bavarians by the cut of 'is jib. Upon further perusal, article 33 probably applies in this case: "If any flag officer, captain, or commander, or lieutenant belonging to the fleet, shall be convicted before a court martial of behaving in a scandalous, infamous, cruel, oppressive, or fraudulent manner, unbecoming the character of an officer, he shall be dismissed from His Majesty's service." This Lt Horthund's despatch is all of these things, most especially of the "cruel" part. For more appropriate punishment, article 29 might apply: "If any person in the fleet shall commit the unnatural and detestable sin of buggery and sodomy with man or beast, he shall be punished with death by the sentence of a court martial." For he has surely buggered up something. Stringing up from the yardarm would be a mercy compared the punishment this scurvy lubber deserves Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bauhaus Posted January 28, 2003 Share Posted January 28, 2003 Originally posted by MrSpkr: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Leutnant Hortlund: Row row row your boat Gently down the stream . . .Naval grog. Steve </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted January 28, 2003 Author Share Posted January 28, 2003 Originally posted by BilgeRat: Aaaarrgh! I was wondering when BilgeRat would show up. That was a very timely appearance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted January 28, 2003 Author Share Posted January 28, 2003 Originally posted by bauhaus: Better known as a .........seaman Bauhaus! I've got my eye on you, Jimmy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted January 28, 2003 Share Posted January 28, 2003 Originally posted by Nidan1: I'll not stand for any besmirchment of the character of my Leige, Boo, bumpkin you say!. I'll have you know, that he was thrown out of Dogpatch as a young lad. "too culchured for us'ins" they said. Boo_Radley is very sophisticated, in a down home, pig-callin' contest kinda way. It is so wonderful to bask in the warmth, respect and kiss-upedness given by one's squire. Many is the time Nidan has attempted to poison me with an arsenic tainted hot toddy late in the evening, or with ground glass in my Happy Meal and then I chase him around and around the trailer...er, castle with my taser and clown hammer, roaring that I'll grind his bones to make my bread. Good times...good times. Just last evening, he defeated me in an Axis attack, where his Super-uber-doober crack troops routed my brave Russian regulars. Tactical defeats can be so bitter, don't ya know? Now, if he can only channel the fire and bile he used to defeat me in the match up into his posts, I believe I would put him up for knight. I know he annoys Berli (ALWAYS a must) and I know he has succeeded in occasionally frustrating Seanachai ( a most worthwhile cause), but he has adopted an almost Zenlike attitude towards hatred. This needs work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hortlund Posted January 28, 2003 Share Posted January 28, 2003 Originally posted by BilgeRat: Lord Nelson'd be rising up from 'is very grave at the name of his flagship being attached to such an undertaking. Fancy that, I didnt know Lord Nelsons flagship was named "Dr Banana"...lucky guess I suppose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted January 28, 2003 Author Share Posted January 28, 2003 Originally posted by Boo_Radley: and I know he has succeeded in occasionally frustrating Seanachai ( a most worthwhile cause)Hey, Boo, stop the Squire stroking and head back over to 'the Worst SciFi Movies' thread. I abused Ohio some more. If it stays slow here at work this afternoon, I may even do a lengthy treatment of you and your homeland here on the Thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted January 28, 2003 Share Posted January 28, 2003 Originally posted by Leutnant Hortlund: Fancy that, I didnt know Lord Nelsons flagship was named "Dr Banana"...lucky guess I suppose. If anyone is thinking of doing a Harry Belafonte imitation, Don't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted January 28, 2003 Share Posted January 28, 2003 Originally posted by Seanachai: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Boo_Radley: and I know he has succeeded in occasionally frustrating Seanachai ( a most worthwhile cause)Hey, Boo, stop the Squire stroking and head back over to 'the Worst SciFi Movies' thread. I abused Ohio some more. </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidan1 Posted January 28, 2003 Share Posted January 28, 2003 Originally posted by Seanachai: If it stays slow here at work this afternoon, I may even do a lengthy treatment of you and your homeland here on the Thread. You actually have meaningful employ? I would have thought by the amount of time you spend in here with your long winded, bombastic posts, that: 1. you are homeless, and spend your days in Cyber Cafes, drinking coffee and playing GTA in between posts. 2. Are out on a home release program with one of those transmitters that wont let you move more than a hundred meters from your designated spot. 3. Are just so socially inept, that the only place you feel superior is on an anonymous internet forum. Please choose one of the above. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted January 28, 2003 Author Share Posted January 28, 2003 Originally posted by Nidan1: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr /> Originally posted by Seanachai: If it stays slow here at work this afternoon, I may even do a lengthy treatment of you and your homeland here on the Thread. You actually have meaningful employ? I would have thought by the amount of time you spend in here with your long winded, bombastic posts, that: 1. you are homeless, and spend your days in Cyber Cafes, drinking coffee and playing GTA in between posts. 2. Are out on a home release program with one of those transmitters that wont let you move more than a hundred meters from your designated spot. 3. Are just so socially inept, that the only place you feel superior is on an anonymous internet forum. Please choose one of the above. </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaylord Focker Posted January 28, 2003 Share Posted January 28, 2003 Here's that bologna sandwich you wanted, the store was all out of burgundy, and no i don't except checks, or wrestling paraphaneilia. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hortlund Posted January 28, 2003 Share Posted January 28, 2003 eat very bad baloney sandwiches Im from Sweden and all, and all I know about american prisons is what they show us on tv, so I have to wonder if this is prison slang for something else? [ January 28, 2003, 03:03 PM: Message edited by: Leutnant Hortlund ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted January 28, 2003 Share Posted January 28, 2003 Originally posted by Seanachai: Bauhaus! I've got my eye on you, Jimmy! Voyeur Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted January 28, 2003 Author Share Posted January 28, 2003 Originally posted by Gaylord Focker: Here's that bologna sandwich you wanted, the store was all out of burgundy, and no i don't except checks, or wrestling paraphaneilia. POUND IDIOTIC SPELLING FOOL WITH FISTS! NOT FUNNY MAN MAKE SEANACHAI CRAZY WITH SUPERIOURITY! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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