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The SC Tonight Show with Zapp Leno!


zappsweden

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(DANGER: If you have no sense of humour you should not be reading this. The SC Tonight Show with Zapp Leno takes NO responsability for anyone suffering physical or psychological health problem caused by watching the show)

Mails, gratulations and offers have been flooding the Zapp Mansion since the huge success with the Zapp Letterman show.

Due to the huge demand by the public and the media (and to compete), NBC has decided to make their own show and they have signed a contract with Zapp to host their show. The "SC Tonight Show with Zapp Leno".

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Welcome to the SC Tonight Show! (applause)

- How can you tell from a screenshot which side Zappsweden is playing?

- Probably, it would be the side who replaced its entire infantry front line with air fleets. :D

- How can u tell from a screenshot from turn ONE that Rambo is playing Axis?

- Axis prepares for a Sea-Lion. :confused: :D

- When did Irishguard stop playing SC?

- As soon as DOW Irish on turn one became Standard. :D

- What is the difference between a smacker and Kuni?

- the letters W-O-R-T-H. :D

- What does Zappsweden (Axis) do if he loses a corps in the France wars in 1940?

- resign the game :D

[ November 20, 2003, 04:02 AM: Message edited by: zappsweden ]

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sleno02.jpg

(DANGER: If you have no sense of humour you should not be reading this. The SC Tonight Show with Zapp Leno takes NO responsability for anyone suffering physical or psychological health problem caused by watching the show)

Mails, gratulations and offers have been flooding the Zapp Mansion since the huge success with the Zapp Letterman show.

Due to the huge demand by the public and the media (and to compete), NBC has decided to make their own show and they have signed a contract with Zapp to host their show. The "SC Tonight Show with Zapp Leno".

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Welcome to the SC Tonight Show! (applause)

- How can you tell from a screenshot which side Zappsweden is playing?

- Probably, it would be the side who replaced its entire infantry front line with air fleets. :D

- How can u tell from a screenshot from turn ONE that Rambo is playing Axis?

- Axis prepares for a Sea-Lion. :confused: :D

- When did Irishguard stop playing SC?

- As soon as DOW Irish on turn one became Standard. :D

- What is the difference between a smacker and Kuni?

- the letters W-O-R-T-H. :D

- What does Zappsweden (Axis) do if he loses a corps in the France wars in 1940?

- resign the game :D

[ November 20, 2003, 04:02 AM: Message edited by: zappsweden ]

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How can u tell when Terif is gonna invade Spain if he plays Axis?

- In the War Map section, the Spanish flag is replaced by a HUGE new baked cookie. :D

How can u tell when Codename Condor (Codename Clone) is gonna invade Spain if he plays Axis?

- In the War Map section, the Spanish flag is replaced by a MINIATURE new baked cookie. :D

(The Roman Emperor Marcus Porcius Cato often said "And therefore I believe that Carthage must be destroyed")

- Do you know who said "And therefore I believe that Carriers must be destroyed" ???

- Not Terif. :D

- What thought goes through your mind when you see your opponent rolling up an Axis rocket close to London?

- Newbie... :D

What can prevent Terif from winning all games against the other players?

- A house rule against him winning. :D

[ November 20, 2003, 04:11 AM: Message edited by: zappsweden ]

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How can u tell when Terif is gonna invade Spain if he plays Axis?

- In the War Map section, the Spanish flag is replaced by a HUGE new baked cookie. :D

How can u tell when Codename Condor (Codename Clone) is gonna invade Spain if he plays Axis?

- In the War Map section, the Spanish flag is replaced by a MINIATURE new baked cookie. :D

(The Roman Emperor Marcus Porcius Cato often said "And therefore I believe that Carthage must be destroyed")

- Do you know who said "And therefore I believe that Carriers must be destroyed" ???

- Not Terif. :D

- What thought goes through your mind when you see your opponent rolling up an Axis rocket close to London?

- Newbie... :D

What can prevent Terif from winning all games against the other players?

- A house rule against him winning. :D

[ November 20, 2003, 04:11 AM: Message edited by: zappsweden ]

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If Rambo (Axis) plays Terif (Allies), What does Rambo say if he fails taking Poland on turn ONE?

- Damn BAAAD battle rolls!!! :D

and what would Terif reply?

- I have 5 chits on Jets for a long time but still nothing. :confused: :D

- Why did the tank division not attack a platoon of fleeing soldiers?

- They saw one of the fleeing soldiers hiding a L5 anti-tank weapon in his pockets. :D

- How do you know you are playing Immer Etwas?

- The "Pretty Parrot" unit apears on the eastern front. :D

- What is the difference between Waterworld and the SC-community?

- We both look for a future but they got a map. :D

- What weather is it when people are getting banned at Battlefront?

- Full Moon. :D

[ November 20, 2003, 04:06 AM: Message edited by: zappsweden ]

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If Rambo (Axis) plays Terif (Allies), What does Rambo say if he fails taking Poland on turn ONE?

- Damn BAAAD battle rolls!!! :D

and what would Terif reply?

- I have 5 chits on Jets for a long time but still nothing. :confused: :D

- Why did the tank division not attack a platoon of fleeing soldiers?

- They saw one of the fleeing soldiers hiding a L5 anti-tank weapon in his pockets. :D

- How do you know you are playing Immer Etwas?

- The "Pretty Parrot" unit apears on the eastern front. :D

- What is the difference between Waterworld and the SC-community?

- We both look for a future but they got a map. :D

- What weather is it when people are getting banned at Battlefront?

- Full Moon. :D

[ November 20, 2003, 04:06 AM: Message edited by: zappsweden ]

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At the moment I can only contribute:

- Damn research system... :D

- "I dont believe carriers must be destroyed, but I KNOW carriers must be destroyed":

Wanted, dead or alive...hmm, better is: only dead... tongue.gif

- Last words from a veteran player, after his last UK units got killed by some axis rockets: "Damn Newbie... " :rolleyes:

[ November 19, 2003, 11:44 AM: Message edited by: Terif ]

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At the moment I can only contribute:

- Damn research system... :D

- "I dont believe carriers must be destroyed, but I KNOW carriers must be destroyed":

Wanted, dead or alive...hmm, better is: only dead... tongue.gif

- Last words from a veteran player, after his last UK units got killed by some axis rockets: "Damn Newbie... " :rolleyes:

[ November 19, 2003, 11:44 AM: Message edited by: Terif ]

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Dragon

Excellent -- I see great potential there! :D

I looked on AltaVista Image Search under Muppets and Muppet Show and Muppets TV Show. Most of it was plugs for dolls and toys.

"I would have stayed dead, then I saw they gave this guy a show and I figured, hey, why not!"

Milton%20Berle.jpg

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Dragon

Excellent -- I see great potential there! :D

I looked on AltaVista Image Search under Muppets and Muppet Show and Muppets TV Show. Most of it was plugs for dolls and toys.

"I would have stayed dead, then I saw they gave this guy a show and I figured, hey, why not!"

Milton%20Berle.jpg

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As originally posted by zappsweden:

- How do you know you are playing Immer Etwas?

- The "Pretty Parrot" unit apeears on the eastern front. :D

That once and unfortunate parrot

Is a pretty little sight

All right,

East Front, the West approaches,

All around the Town :cool:

You should see it!

Shake... the brittle tail-feathers!

Then it... "flutters"

Into the mosh-pit,

And tries,

And tries!

(... c'mon guys!)

To get... down! :eek:

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As originally posted by zappsweden:

- How do you know you are playing Immer Etwas?

- The "Pretty Parrot" unit apeears on the eastern front. :D

That once and unfortunate parrot

Is a pretty little sight

All right,

East Front, the West approaches,

All around the Town :cool:

You should see it!

Shake... the brittle tail-feathers!

Then it... "flutters"

Into the mosh-pit,

And tries,

And tries!

(... c'mon guys!)

To get... down! :eek:

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"Well, the problem is ZappLeno has Immer Etwas ... "

"Who?"

"Immer Etwas, the Great Desert Poet!"

"Sorry, I don't read much poetry."

"Oh. Well, we've got to do something about the ratings, I mean Berle is back from the dead and wants his old show back."

"Wish I could help, Dave."

"Actually, you can. Paul and the boys have worked up a special arrangement of the Stipper and ..."

letterman1102951.jpg

[ November 19, 2003, 12:32 PM: Message edited by: JerseyJohn ]

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"Well, the problem is ZappLeno has Immer Etwas ... "

"Who?"

"Immer Etwas, the Great Desert Poet!"

"Sorry, I don't read much poetry."

"Oh. Well, we've got to do something about the ratings, I mean Berle is back from the dead and wants his old show back."

"Wish I could help, Dave."

"Actually, you can. Paul and the boys have worked up a special arrangement of the Stipper and ..."

letterman1102951.jpg

[ November 19, 2003, 12:32 PM: Message edited by: JerseyJohn ]

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  • 2 months later...

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LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

WELCOME TO THE FIRST SC TONIGHT SHOW IN THE YEAR 2004 (applause)

- What is Codename Condors secret weapon in a rematch?

- Part II, Attack Of The Clones :D

- What decides if Axis manage to break the Russian lines when Barbarossa begin?

- The 1939 battle rolls in Poland and LC. :confused: :D

- How does Zappsweden beat Terif these days?

- Waits until Dragonheart does it and then beat Dragonheart instead. :rolleyes::D

- What will the next LC strategy be in SC?

- Sending out digger units in 1938 to sand fill the Rhine river that is protecting LC :D

- What will the next tournament be named?

- The SC "Whoever does not retire will win the Tourney" Tourney :D

[ March 05, 2004, 10:55 AM: Message edited by: zappsweden ]

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