Barticus Posted February 21, 2001 Share Posted February 21, 2001 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agua Perdido Posted February 21, 2001 Share Posted February 21, 2001 Originally posted by Croda: You, sir, are loud and bombastic. [lots of loud bombast snipped] Thanks for clearing up the color of my kettle, Mr. Pot. You, sir, are a mangy varlot, a rangy harlot, and I disdain your used-car lot. So, feel pain and die-a-lot! I'd try to make that scan but I have to finish plucking my eyebrows and decalcifying my fingernails (the deposits make typei8ung much har3r4der). Now, who's for a sing-sing-sing? Croda'd wile away the hours Conversing with the flowers Consulting with the bees... With the thoughts that he'd be thinkin' He could be another Lincoln If he only had a brain... Agua Perdido [Edited to further profane the name of Ray Bolger] [Edited to further profane the name of Louis Prima] ------------------ Feel the pain of outlaw cinema! [This message has been edited by Agua Perdido (edited 02-21-2001).] [This message has been edited by Agua Perdido (edited 02-21-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herr Oberst Posted February 21, 2001 Share Posted February 21, 2001 Originally posted by Aragorn: Greetings! I am Aragorn son of Arathorn! I challenge anyone who is willing to a game of CM! Who is first to be slain? [This message has been edited by Aragorn (edited 02-21-2001).] Hail and well met there Aragorn... Now pardon me whilst I fetch mine knightly barf bag to dutifully catch my retchings at your flowery speech... I believe that the first to be slain shall be your innocence. You come trouncing in here like some stocking-wearing merryman, expecting all the flowers to be in bloom... Be careful son, or you'll get some Cess on that brand spanking (SIT DOWN BAUHAUS!!) new armor of yours. Armor that has not yet seen battle... Armor that has yet to to receive the dings and dents that mark a true warrior... You don't just waltz into the Cesspool and offer some limp-wristed challenge like that! Sound off like you have a pair, or did some lowly Orc remove yours during a drunken brawl somewhere??? If you're not careful, we'll send Lorak your way Engwar... ------------------ To the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamstersss Posted February 21, 2001 Share Posted February 21, 2001 Originally posted by Seanachai: I know that I could have just said, "Yes, let's play a game, I'm busy right now but I'll figure out when." but I wanted to confuse the everliving hell out of you by rambling around and talking about, in no specific order, prostitution, capitalism, the price of tea in Guanjaung, my genetic material, your genetic material, my forlorn love life, et cetera. So let me see if I understand, you'll play a TCP/IP game with me but only if the Cantonese girl is there, I pay you money and Saturn is in conjunction with Mercury? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamstersss Posted February 21, 2001 Share Posted February 21, 2001 Originally posted by Agua Perdido: Who the hell am I and where did I come from? Seriously, folks, has anyone noticed that I've been around but not really for a looooong freaking time now? Christ, I'm still a junior member, too. Please, somebody, explain to me what I'm supposed to be doing here, so that I may stop flailing around and digging a very slow grave for myself. Sing Sing is a prison, you dolt, the phrase you're looking for is, "Sing song", get it right. Also, that's not a song, it's two stanzas and all you did was replace one frickin' word. You're not only stupid and ugly, you're also lazy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mensch Posted February 21, 2001 Author Share Posted February 21, 2001 who the heck let this newbie in here!!!??? MACE! your slacking again as the door watcher.. you loose your backstabing knife? and he's quoting some book stuff!!! jeeez and I thought that incident with that GroG that came in the pool was bad.. now we got someone who actually reads books!.. well ok I have books.. well more like magazines with pictures of girls and stuff.. but thats MANLY stuff.. not this hockus pokus.. I am LUTNUTZIA SON OF POPNCORK.... *barf* here take Stukas porno movies (he don't need them anymore hes freshly married) but remember to give them back after a year cuz thats when he wakes up from this dream state called NEWLIEWED and enters the state OMMIEGODWHATHAVEIDONE!WHATHAVEIDONE!! He'll be needing all the support and pictures of other women to keep him afloat. ------- www.derkessel.com Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted February 21, 2001 Share Posted February 21, 2001 Originally posted by Aragorn: Greetings! I am Aragorn son of Arathorn! blah, blah, blah (drones on for a bit and ends lamely) Ah! Aragorn! I see from your rapier like wit that your sword has yet to be reforged. I also can see that your sword can't be backed up by much as you are clearly incapable of SOUNDING OFF LIKE YA GOT A PAIR!. Now sod off and go play with your hobbitssssss Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jd Posted February 21, 2001 Share Posted February 21, 2001 Hmmm maybe he's been talking to minimus2k+1? Sheesh, damn lookie loos, tourists and wannabees. Go back and listen to your milli vanilli. ------------------ If frogs had uzi's, snakes woudn't mess with them so much. - Hiram Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted February 21, 2001 Share Posted February 21, 2001 Woot! Woot! Wow, I feel twelve years old again. Woot! Woot! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jshandorf Posted February 21, 2001 Share Posted February 21, 2001 Originally posted by mensch: Jeff!! buddy ... pal.. wheres my turn?? don't worry you'll get your chance to drop large Opel Trucks on my head soon. I am going to hurt you. I am going to hurt you SOOOOO bad that your dog won't be able to look at you without crying. Jeff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marlow Posted February 21, 2001 Share Posted February 21, 2001 A classic presentation of: River Runts Episode V: A Hard Day's Knight Brought to you by Mace's Livestock Emporium and Whorehouse: If you can't catch it here, you can't catch it anywhere. Out of the mists of the River Peng the painted bow of a longship appears. Its sleek form cutting through the dark waters. The splash from the dropping blades, the oarlocks groan, and the grunts of the oarsmen is all that is heard over the morning calm. On the foredeck stands a proud and noble figure. Resplendent in shining armor, with a great sword strapped at his side. A stout hearted champion with a determined look in his dark and brooding eyes. He had journeyed many long and dangerous roads in his quest for the one true Mutha-Beautiful Thread, and he would not be deterred. Coming around a bend in the river he saw the docks of the tumbledown riverside hamlet of Meeksburgh. Aragorn: Captain, pull us up to the dock between that tugboat and that garbage scow. I'm going ashore to find the Great-ones, the Cesspooligans, and challenge them to glorious battle. Captain: In this place sire? It looks like a pile of crap if you ask me. Aragorn: Silence fool. Only the best warriors are entered into the lists of the Cesspool as scribed by Sir Lorak. I shall prove myself their master. Captain: I thought they were supposed to be a bunch of blowhard idiots myself. Aragorn: Nay, those who reside here are the greatest of CM players ever assembled. Few can stand before their tactical skill or razor wit. Captain: But Sire, I've read their ****e. Its all the ravings of idiots. They don't have enough brain cells between them to … Aragorn: Insolent welp! Shut your mouth before I shut it for you. The ship pulls into the decrepit docking slip, and Aragorn alights. He begins walking down the dust road towards the collection of hovels that make up the town. The sounds of an off-tune piano comes through the window of the saloon, and more disturbing sounds come from the upper floor of a building with a sign that read "Miss Kitty's." As he strides boldly down the main street, he looks around at the torpid figures that lounge in stupor on the various benches and stoops on the main drag. The figure speaks in a commanding voice that unexplainably fails to rouse the indifferent inhabitants of the town. The warrior speaks: "I am Aragorn son of Arathorn! I challenge anyone who is willing to a game of CM! Who is first to be slain?" The cesspool inhabitants in the depths of their ennui barely look up at the looming figure. A flicker of annoyance is seen on more than one face. "I am Aragorn son of Arathorn! I challenge anyone who is willing to a game of CM! Who is first to be slain?" Still no response. "I am the greatest of all warriors, and I come to conquer this place and its honorable inhabitants." Disturbed by the bellowing of the noble warrior, Petey the Geriatric night watchman at Doc. Croda's 24-Hour Peepshow/Venereal Disease Clinic, rouses himself from chair which had been reclined against one stained wall, shuffles across the sticky floor, and stumbles out the door. Blinking his rheumy eyes, he spies the tall and splendid figure standing before him. Once again, the brave warrior challenges the indifferent kaniggets and squirrels who ignore him: "I am Aragorn son of Arathorn! I challenge anyone who is willing to a game of CM! Who is first to be slain?" The old guard pulls out his service .38 and puts a small hole through the middle of Aragorn's forehead. The Cesspool inhabitants stir from their indifference for long enough to buy Petey a fifth of Jimmy Dean for his fine shot, and go back to living unhappily ever after. The End. [This message has been edited by Marlow (edited 02-21-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted February 21, 2001 Share Posted February 21, 2001 Originally posted by Marlow: ... and more disturbing sounds from the upper floor of a building with a sign that read "Miss Kitty's... HAR! HAR! HAR! ------------------ Woot! - Maximus2k The New CessPool Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jd Posted February 21, 2001 Share Posted February 21, 2001 Ya know some days are just gems..... what Arrogantpus striding in and minimus2k+1 on the main board, peng's retort of the other day.... it don't get better than this... Now fomersquireandstilltoadybitch where's your ceasefire so we can begin counting your dead. Methinks the smoke from the burning pyres and tanks will obscure the shining orb above. By the way, like your new sig. ------------------ If frogs had uzi's, snakes woudn't mess with them so much. - Hiram Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted February 21, 2001 Share Posted February 21, 2001 River Runts Episode V: A Hard Day's Knight Quite right too, well done. However, perhaps we forget our manners gentlemen (and Andreas)? If I recall the tome from which the late intruder stole his name, there are time honored and traditional greetings one offers to such personages as he ... was. So, if you will allow me ... and even if you won't: May your hemorrhoids shrink without surgery! ... oh wait, that was from Bored of the Rings ... my mistake. Joe Joe ------------------ I heartily admit you are a swine, Joe. But you are OUR swine. (Goanna) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted February 21, 2001 Share Posted February 21, 2001 Originally posted by Marlow: A classic presentation of: River Runts Episode V: A Hard Day's Knight ...On the foredeck stands a proud and noble figure. Resplendent in shining armor, with a great sword strapped at his side... *****WARNING****** *****GROG LIKE RESPONSE****** Pardon me, moron, but you can't strap a great sword to your side... they are to flamin' big. Christ on a crutch, get your facts straight *****END OF GROG RESPONSE****** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted February 22, 2001 Share Posted February 22, 2001 Originally posted by Aragorn: Greetings! I am Aragorn son of Arathorn! Who is first to be slain? I demand a rewrite of Lord of the Rings. Aragorn was such a goody-goody I would have preferred to see him trampled by ringwraithes in book 1, and it wouldn't have surprised me if he was bent for some Hobbit Loving as well, and got it on with Frodo as frequently as he could. Is this the kind of Keniggit we want to see in the pool? NooooooOOOOOOOOooooooo! I dont think so! Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Madmatt Posted February 22, 2001 Share Posted February 22, 2001 STAND BY FOR HIGH LEVEL MESSAGE...FLASH TRAFFIC.... Okay guys, the thread is gettting close to the max reply limit. Start figuring out who is going to start up the next Cesspool, have that person email me and we will lock this one up and move to the new one. Madmatt TRANSMISSION END>.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jd Posted February 22, 2001 Share Posted February 22, 2001 Well time to pack the bags, get the travel documents, and make sure our innoculations are current.........Gee such a brief visit auf weidisein ------------------ If frogs had uzi's, snakes woudn't mess with them so much. - Hiram [This message has been edited by jd (edited 02-21-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agua Perdido Posted February 22, 2001 Share Posted February 22, 2001 Originally posted by Elijah Meeks: You're not only stupid and ugly, you're also lazy. True enough. Now, where did I leave my copy of the Music Man soundtrack? Oh, and stevetherat, for using an unpleasant tone of voice toward me in the FAQ thread and generally being a drooling moron who couldn't find his own ass with both hands, a foot, and a GPS receiver, I'm going to make you wait until I get home from work before I send you your file (which I was going to do anyway). Agua Perdido ------------------ Feel the pain of outlaw cinema! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamstersss Posted February 22, 2001 Share Posted February 22, 2001 May I recommend, as our next destination, Trinidad? I've always wanted to go to Trinidad. The sun, the surf, the chicks. And Mensch has not shown up to fight me, thereby proving himself to be a wife-calling liar, so someone get on-line and set up a TCP/IP game, dammit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jd Posted February 22, 2001 Share Posted February 22, 2001 Ah shoot, the regulars are out to lunch so I will offer "Peng in Paradise" and see if Matt gives his imprimatur ------------------ If frogs had uzi's, snakes woudn't mess with them so much. - Hiram Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Måkjager Posted February 22, 2001 Share Posted February 22, 2001 Come back to your forefathers homeland Seanachai ..come home....come home ...lets sit by the old peat fire and listen to your tales of wonder and awe ..of time when men had honour and woman fought with valour....when there was no such thing as McDonalds ..except in the Scottish Highlands....when an army was allowed by it enemy to inspect its weapons and given time to make the same.....When no man was allowed to be HighKing if he had so much of a blemish on his skin ..where poets and bards recited the brave deeds of Heros ..and remembered the foul cowards who would do anything to win except fight fair...if that Golden Age cannot intice you Seanachai welll....there is a brown paper envelope full of dirty bundles of money in it fer ye So Seanachai...come home ...come home to the Misty Isle. oh crap...sorry guys...i am suffering a fever at the moment...this all just kinda popped out of my redundent skull. Regards Måkjager ------------------ Once an Ubërcabbage Always an Ubërcabbage Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevetherat Posted February 22, 2001 Share Posted February 22, 2001 Oh, did I have a cunningly witty retort to share with you all. A combination of sheer brilliance, cunning wit and a stealthy delivery of humour. So where is it? Gone. Twice. I managed to type it in two feckin times (the second slightly diluted, but still punchy) but my feckin computer decided it should censor my masterpiece and refuse to operate. This time I can't be bothered. But, I will summarise: PetraNZ you don't impress me with your miniskirted conquests. Jeez, even Crony could bag a Kings Cross loose-lipped-luvva. Your Squire? HA! You don't even qualify to be my surf. My arse ('ass'/'butt' for you yankee inbreds) sponge even! We're going to have to fight this one out. Winner takes all. Aqualine Persistant and Irksomebladder are both, in my mind, the same sort of incessant attention seeking annoyance. So what? I got your files mixed up. Sheesh. You're both the equivalent of that perpetually festering boil between my rear cheeks. I squeeze the jelly out of you both when you get too big, but you both return for more. It's very difficult to tell the difference between one infection and another. Coma and I continue to live in each others pockets, without actually coming into contact. I am about to unmask the barsteward and reveal the childlike miniature appendages of the freak. Margo hasn't returned a file for decades. After throwing Mildman and I the abortion he calls a scenario, he's done a runner. Admittedly, he's on the thick end of a beating but blimey, there still might be a chance. We've only just started. That is all. Resume your positions. StR Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phillies Phan Posted February 22, 2001 Share Posted February 22, 2001 Hi Mom! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Madmatt Posted February 22, 2001 Share Posted February 22, 2001 New home: http://www.battlefront.com/discuss/Forum1/HTML/016566.html Madmatt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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