The Master, Margarita and the Peng Challenge thread

[MrSpkr]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jshandorf:

Does Hiram have the Big C? Or is it his cat?

Someone fill me in here. I am way too lazy to go back and read all your crap to find out.

BTW, the Big C is very gamey and I suggest, Hiram, you avoid it at all costs.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Way to be a horse's arse, Jeff. Very classy, indeed.

[jshandorf]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr:

Way to be a horse's arse, Jeff. Very classy, indeed.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well, you would know wouldn't you?

I said "Get well" so piss off.

Jeff

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Agua Perdido:

Further updates on other actions as soon as I get off my lazy ass (down, Mace!) and send some turns.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I'd just like to clarify something here.

I deal with Fuana, Bauhaus of course Humans. We belong to different unions (get it - unions. Oh never mind!)

Btw, there is a vacancy for flora, if anyone here finds themselves aroused by trees, potplants, grass etc we may have a vacancy for you.

Mace

[ 09-07-2001: Message edited by: Mace ]

[Joe Shaw]

Hiram, you may correct me if I'm wrong but as I recall it's your sister that's ill. I apologize for bringing it up again but some of the lads don't have the background so I thought I'd clear it up.

There isn't, of course, anything that any of us can say or do to ease the pain, but try to hang in there. Speaking from experience, hospice personnel can go a long way to make it easier.

Joe

[jshandorf]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Hiram, you may correct me if I'm wrong but as I recall it's your sister that's ill. I apologize for bringing it up again but some of the lads don't have the background so I thought I'd clear it up.

There isn't, of course, anything that any of us can say or do to ease the pain, but try to hang in there. Speaking from experience, hospice personnel can go a long way to make it easier.

Joe<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ahhhh, ha! Thanks for clearing that up, Joe. You have finally proved yourself useful. Here... I will mark in on my calendar. Let's see... (writing)Joe was usefull today. Rioght. Now...

Hiram, sorry to hear about your sister. I hope things go well for her and you.

As for the rest of you... go take a long drive in your garages. Make sure you roll that window down and breath deeply.

Tourney and Game Update

If I couldn't have more bad luck. My armor has been completely impotent in almost every game. I makes me sick. And to top it off Marlow is kicking my butt! Oh and I almost forgot! Peng, that rat bastard, is showing a half-assed decent attack in our battle. Truely this must be one of the sign of the apocolypse.

Jeff

[ 09-07-2001: Message edited by: jshandorf ]

[Agua Perdido]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace:

I'd just like to clarify something here.

I deal with Fuana, Bauhaus of course Humans.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Of course, but I was afraid you might misconstrue my earlier statement as referring to a donkey rather than a posterior.

Agua Perdido

[Mark IV]

Hiram, I wish there was something we could do. Call or stop by when you're out here.

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On a somewhat lighter note, I would recommend the Captain's thread (at least the title post) on the "Sweet Stench" as MUST reading for every cesspooler. Hilarious.

[Marlow]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jshandorf:

And to top it off Marlow is kicking my butt! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

wOOt!!

And in other late breaking news, Lawyer has finally given in to the inevitable and surrendered to my valiant G.I.s. It was an epic battle, where I executed a perfect combined arms attack that left Jake the Snake reeling. It was a 2000 point U.S. attack on a hilly rural battlefield. I skillfully used the hills to mask my advance from flanking fire, and concentrated my firepower on isolated sections of the German line. Despite the computer's choice of SMG hordes, and a gaggle of steel cockroaches, I was still able to crush the legaltruppen like so many overripe grapes.

Marlow 85

Lawyer 15

This masterful display of tactical aptitude, along with my current drubbing of Herr Shandorf proves that I am again among the CM elite of the 'Cesspool. Sort of the anti-dalem.

[BFCElvis]

My good friend the Lawyer is resisting surrender to me at this very moment. Perhaps you ccan drop him a line and talk some sense into him because I don't think he has any.

[Lawyer]

Marlow did something very unnatural and very unhealthy in our "game". He has taken my kind gift of tainted victory as a "real win" and validation of his "skill". Yes, he got a "lucky shot" and I had a Bad Herr day, but this was one of my pro bono efforts to boost Marlow's sagging ego.

For his misinterpretation and of reality and foolish touting, I award Marlow this week's Crow Magnum Man award.

Elvis, on the other hand, is the True Demon Seed. He has lost all sense of reality in his quest for cheap fame and winning the scoreboard. He eeked out a close win in our first game (where a kinder AI would not have permitted a 57mm fieldgun to knock out two Panthers on their front armor, and a sane scenario designer would not have equipped the Demon Seed with 30 plus zook teams). Not that I notice such things.

But now the tables have turned and the Son of Spittle is facing the Defeat He Deserves at the Hands of the Law. His US attack has faltered to the point of embarrassment while his few remaining "low ammo brigades" wonder what to do. Don't be fooled, Friends. I shall be back to report the final demise of Elvis when the deed is complete.

In other battles, I am suffering the negative results of BAD SCENARIO DESIGN in mind-numbing battles with Dalem, Aitken, MrSpkr, and (shiver) Peng himself. Many of you, I'm sure, have suffered this same cruel fate, but unlike you, I have NOT spread smelley ointments around my vitals and lied to bar girls.

On the good side, I expect to soon report the proper dispatch and painful death (not for real, you idiot savants) of Seanachai. I'm just underway with Leeo, but he is dead meat already. For our Euro trash buddies, I suspect Leeo-meat is infested with hoof and mouth disease, as the pictures of him show he has both.

Your pal,

Jake

[ 09-07-2001: Message edited by: Lawyer ]

[ 09-07-2001: Message edited by: Lawyer ]

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lawyer:

Your pal,

Jake<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hide, he's after money again!!!!

Mace

[Hakko Ichiu]

Hiram,

My deepest sympathy. I hope you and your family find what you need to help you through this time.

[Speedy]

Hey am I the only knight here with a fan page???

www.sirspeedy.com

[Leeo]

LORAK!

Oh, what's that? Yes, you're right, sorry to yell.

Please scribe thusly:

Leeo: Win, primarily due to undue hatred of that Elvis thing.

Elvis: Loss, primarily due to not enough hatred (though Lord knows he tried).

This all ended a week ago, and heralded my second instance of making that poor boy from Philly surrender (he intimated (down bauhaus) as such in the previous thread) as if he were a whupped puppy. This was a city based probe scenario designed by Wild Bill. Elvis slung his troops at me with great aplomb, but it was for naught. As previously (Did I mention he surrendered to me in our previous outing?), he succumbed to my masterful tactical ability. I say, Chalk it up!.

[ 09-07-2001: Message edited by: Leeo, just to torque the majority of you bastiches, and if you're reading this, then all I gots to say is GOTCHA!]

[Seanachai]

To my Once and Future Squire, an email has been sent. You are never alone, Hiram. We are always with you.

As I've said before, we care for our own.

Geoffrey, lad, a gentle rebuke. A little less of yourself, lad, and a little more of others. An apology for even unintended callousness shines back to the person who is in pain. Did you notice that Hiram has since edited his original post to someting innocuous? Would he have done that, lad, if there hadn't been unpleasantness?

I'm not asking you to grovel, just avoid turning another's pain into a pissing match. As I like to think well of you, I imagine you've already sent him an appropriate email. One less brusque, perhaps, and not so inclined to snap at others.

I, for one, would not trade this band of committed and genteel enemies for even a greater number of casual and unconcerned friends.

[Seanachai]

Roight, then.

I have to say, Geier, that I'm quite taken aback, as Berli and I were just discussing "The Master and Margarita" by Bulgakov just a few days ago.

I've always loved Pontius Pilate. Made one of the greatest statements in the Bible: "What is Truth?", and has gone down in history for it as one of the villains.

'Course, history's written by the Victors, as is known better here than perhaps anywhere else on the face of the planet.

Beyond that, Bulgakov's novel is a modern classic of depth, irony, and beauty that far trascends any appellation regarding 'Russian dissidents'.

A sound and significant addition to the Reading List of any Peng Challenge Threader who wishes to understand the world beyond his little lump of self-involved clay, and to have vistas open before his eyes.

For that matter, Berli is one of the main characters, and does a bang up job.

[bauhaus]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Speedy:

Hey am I the only knight here with a fan page???

www.sirspeedy.com<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ok, help me out here, when did you become a knight? Man, the pool will let anybody in. Who's next? Mr. T?

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Speedy:

Hey am I the only knight here with a fan page???<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

So you're a printing business huh?

I'm a car wash franchise; Lorak is something german; Seanachai's under construction; Bauhaus is in stealth mode; Stuka & Berli can't be found; Mensch is forbidden; Elvis, well that's obvious, Goanna features, yep you've guessed it; and Joe Shaw asks me to simply type what I'm looking for.

As for the rest of you, just because I couldn't be bothered to look you up on the web doesn't mean I hate and despise you any less.

Mace

[ 09-07-2001: Message edited by: Mace ]

[Speedy]

Yeah but none of them have the sir bit so they are only imposters.

[Leeo]

How is it that y’all, whom I try and despise with a perfect loathing, have come to be amongst my most treasured contacts? I am fact-to-face with many people everyday, yet when push comes to shove (and let’s face it, you boys know how to do a good shoving), it is you band of acquaintances that soothe the soul (not to mention turn the stomach).

Though I fear to turn Maudlin, you joeys are it as far as entertainment and succor. If this is made up as we go along, then I’d like to point out that what is being made-up is a special kind of place (and not in that mouth-hanging-open-and-drooling kind of special place) where one can persevere and be semi-accepted. "Ho, all." I’ll be seeing you in the Battleroom..

[ 09-07-2001: Message edited by: Leeo, as if you are still looking down here. Well, are you?]

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Leeo:

How is it that y’all, whom I try and despise with a perfect loathing, have come to be amongst my most treasured contacts? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I dunno. Is it because you're a loser?

Mace

[Lawyer]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace:

I dunno. Is it because you're a loser?

Mace<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Pure genius, Mace, which you achieve once every 26 posts. Thank goodness I didn't waste my time reading the other 25.

[Leeo]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace:

I dunno. Is it because you're a loser?

Mace<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

OOooo, now you're making me feel all warm and tingly-like. Where's the Kleenex? (and I ain't talkin' 'bout the tears, Bastiches)

Sheep anyone?

[Seanachai]

Lady of the Peng Challenge Thread, Esteemed and Despised Brethren, Other Ladies, Squires, Serfs, and the fecal annoyances that some call SSNs.

I come before you not to praise Shaw, but to judge him.

Shaw: worthless, vile, bereft of purpose, self-absorbed, yet strong in the faith of the Peng Challenge, proud in the ways of judgement, aggressive in purpose, vulgar in his certainty, certain of his justice, and lost utterly to the Outer Boards stands before us once again.

Judging, he is judged.

Speaking, he creates silence.

Silent, he is an abuse.

I offer him up as 'Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread'.

I name him Seniour Knight, Clown, Shaman, Fool, Ole Foul Joe, Idjit, Pissant, and That Stupid Texan Swine of the Peng Challenge Thread.

In token of which, I empty this beaker of the...er...of 'the Water of Peng' over the stupid basta...that is, over the initiates head (barely suppressed laughter).

What say you, Berli, Peng, and you, you Seniour Knights who are his peers? Shall we compound our strange Order of Orthodoxy with the Cabala of the Templars, and confer upon Ole Foul Joe the title of Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread?

Let us Hear Your Voices!

Unless you're a useless little puddle of piss, of course. Then face yourself into a corner and shut it while your Betters discuss these weighty matters. You know who you are, and I imagine the first yapping of jackals that I hear will be from you.

[Leeo]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lawyer:

Pure genius, Mace, which you achieve once every 26 posts. Thank goodness I didn't waste my time reading the other 25.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You mean Mace has had a total 66.32 genius posts? Methinks you over-estimate. Still, 1,658 posts to the thread, in the end just to call a Nearly-newbie such as myself a loser. Well, actions speak louder than words, eh "Shagger of Ovis Aries"?