PawBroon Posted May 7, 2001 Share Posted May 7, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Errr. Seanechai, SenileTea? (that is the best I can make of your apparently celtocryllic name) I have it on good authority that you are a sand-bagging, set-up-the-weak-minded-and-knockem-over type who preys upon poor defenseless little grogwishtheycouldbees and then takes a huge 240 dump on them when they are thinking they have a chance in hell of even coming close to securing their own complete surrender to your superior forces and intellect. being a glutton for punishment I say "come at me, eire-boy!" So sure, what the hell. I prefer to play games that have like infantry and artillery and tanks and blowing up and stuff, and I mostly like to have any one of the nationalities in the game as my team. (no Candians! {until they admit they are just bigger goofier, and colder americans but still have royalty in their lives}) Big Giant freaking scenarios take too long, so either make up a quick one or pick a smallish premade. I am too dumb to buy my own troops effectively. If my idiot raving hasn't completely put you off to playing against me...send me a PBEM. I hope you do not get bored with all of my dying. I am honored by your challenge Peng<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Ta Ha! Ta Hey! Or whatever it is that drunk English heroes shout just before they're disemboweled, and left with that expression on their face that says, 'Err, I was just about to add...' Ha! Peng, I have taken our contest Public! Yes, public, where neither can hide in the shadows, and where the Winner is totally justified in an extremely public display of: Gloating, Abuse, and Bad Sportsmanship! And it's understood that the Loser will indulge in an orgy of Whining, Rationalization, and Mendacity! If it's a draw, we resort to simple personal abuse! And, because of your dastardly abuse of our Northern Cousins, I shall field a force of Canadians against you (I live in Minnesota, and I say to you, Canadians are our Friends!), and you, you monster, shall be forced to play the Axis! I shall send you a Quick Battle, in which I (the Heroic Allied [Canadian] Attacker {Ha, I threaten to overtake your use of multiple parenthetical devices}) shall seek to overcome your evil Pengian Teutonic hordes (which shall be Wehrmacht hordes)! And I shall set the force allocations to be computer generated for both sides, and I shall set them at 700 points, and I shall further set the map to be farmland, moderate tree cover, and the hills (besides being alive with the sound of music–someome put a bullet into that damn woman) at significant, but not extreme. And I shall allow both our forces the right of Combined Arms. And many other parameters shall I set, and then, shalt thou meet me in single combat. And if it shall be that thou shalt win, I promise that I shall never again post dialogue that is like unto a Bad Arthurian novel...okay, well, mostly promise. And also, thou shalt have the right of endless abuse. Okay, for the normal people: I challenged Peng to a PBEM, and he very nobly agreed. I really wanted to challenge Peng because of his almost magical ability to reduce all human interaction to small, burnt, crunchy bits. I admire that in a human being. It strikes me as 'good'. I took this challenge out of it's original thread, and made it public, because...well...probably because there's something wrong with me. But I challenge anyone to prove it! Peng, look, thee, for my PBEM tomorrow! Well, actually, it's damn late, so I guess today...but look for it really late today. You know the rules. Time to up the standards... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Aitken Posted May 7, 2001 Share Posted May 7, 2001 Did someone commission a new thread? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PawBroon Posted May 7, 2001 Author Share Posted May 7, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by David Aitken: Did someone commission a new Thread?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Wasn't the current one diagnosed dead and believed to be slained by an overwhelming abuse of Lawyerly posting? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Aitken Posted May 7, 2001 Share Posted May 7, 2001 Maybe, but 'twas decreed by Sir Madmatt that no new Peng Thread shalt be instituted other than at the decree of Ye Software of the Big Time, no matter how big they get (the thread, not BTS). Still, "Welcome to Peng Challengeville" is a miserable name, and what more could we expect from one of our very own Legal Sparrows. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Aitken Posted May 7, 2001 Share Posted May 7, 2001 Oh well, now you've done it. We are sunk, expect an influx of rats imminently. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goanna Posted May 7, 2001 Share Posted May 7, 2001 Did someone say rats? Mmmm, I love rats. And hamsters too. And while we're getting all nostalgic, what ever happened to TC Schultz the naked mole rat or whatever kind of tasty morsel he was. Stay the hell out you casual interlopers or you'll be wearing your ass for a hat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PawBroon Posted May 7, 2001 Author Share Posted May 7, 2001 That must be proof enough that there is no need to go spent some money on that Tropico game to plot a banana republic putch. Expect some heavy idiotic postings as with each new iteration of the Mutha Beautiful Thread (Shorten to MBT there after to save bandwidth and please the Grogs). Because Eat@Joe's forewords were sounds and to be duplicated, here is the little Legal Warning for those who missed the first posting: Notice to Scum Sucking Newbies Go Away! Go Far Away and Go Now! We like the group that's here ... for the most part ... individually they're swine but the sum of the parts, etc. We did not ask you to drop by and we'd frankly prefer that you drop dead. If you DO decide that you MUST stick around ... Have A Reason! Are Geek apparently didn't get the drift of my message and responded with chapter and verse ... as if we care ... of his life and times {gag}. So lad, without getting into YOUR missive (reading it again is more than my digestive tract can handle right now) ... IS THERE SOMETHING WE CAN DO FOR YOU OR WERE YOU JUST VISITING? If the later (please, please, PLEASE ... let him just be visiting) your VISA is revoked and you have been PNGed ... not to be confused with being PENGed, which is, frankly, much worse. Stand not upon the order of your going, etc. If the former ... go away anyway, we're not in the mood right now. You've just been mirandized so now stand aside or stand corrected. Speaking of standing and for the exclusive benefit of #176, we are not long standing idiots since we've been known to sit from time to time... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted May 7, 2001 Share Posted May 7, 2001 I don't know, but I happen to welcome the inane dribble of the newbie wannabees, but then again I am a masochist! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wesreidau Posted May 7, 2001 Share Posted May 7, 2001 some of them are funny, not funny like 'har har good gag', but 'har har glad i'm not like him'. Speaking of which, where did that Beame chap go? He was particularly funny. PeterNZ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PawBroon Posted May 7, 2001 Author Share Posted May 7, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace: I don't know, but I happen to welcome the inane dribble of the newbie wannabees, but then again I am a masochist!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> You're not a masochist. You're a highly mutated life form known as Ozzer. Your plams are Velcro covered so that you could get a better grip at those poor curly sheeps and you always avoided to play me for fear of a good kickin' in the groin. Therefore, being a zoophilic coward shouldn't qualify you as a masochist... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phillies Phan Posted May 7, 2001 Share Posted May 7, 2001 Hopefully I can post this time without you syphilitic, narcissistic, egocentric people calling me a newbie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted May 7, 2001 Share Posted May 7, 2001 Oh no! *wimper*, not a.......French peng thread. Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the 'cess, someone excavates the deep end and all the chunky bits settle in it. Goodness me, is that Seanachies head I'm standing on? Why yes it is, *kick*, stop wriggling man! Your constant expulsion of hot air is what keeps the jacuzzi going and your'e going to fulfill your contract or we'll set Mensch onto you and nobody wants that, with the possible exception of Bauhaus (but thats another story) While we are all talking about me and how marvellous it is to be me, I feel it prudent to inform the paparazzi that the first game of the 2 game final of the original Not so Superbowl (anyone remember that?) has been decided firmly in your old Uncle Stukey's favour with a crushing 80-20 total Axis victory over the non-pooler "Ted". Ted earns his bolding stripes courtesy of the fact that he chose humiliating surrender over fighting on and possibly winning in our little stoush. I won't regurgitate a blow by blow description of the battle, suffice to say I was great. In current cess-news, Seanachie and I have completed set ups and the noisy stuff is about to commence. I will keep you all informed of how great i'm doing roight up to the point where it all starts to go a bit 'pear shaped', at which time I'll simply resort to lieing. Harpooner seems to think that occupying buildings adjacent to a TRP is a good thing and that steel helmets provide all the protection a soldier needs against 105mm arty. Who am I to argue? Peternz has decided the best way he can win our battle is to not return files, in the hope that the universe will eventually reach its utmost expansion, begin contraction and then when time flows backwards past this particular point, he will resume the battle when things should start going his way, a little. OGSF has rewritten the book on "new and interesting ways to die". I should be putting the final touches to this one any day now. Mace, well Mother always said if you can't say anything nice about someone, say nothing at all. Good advice. Armornut had a moan about being french in his set up and has not been heard of since. Further updates when I can be bothered..... edited for one teensy little spelling mistake. [ 05-07-2001: Message edited by: Stuka ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawyer Posted May 7, 2001 Share Posted May 7, 2001 Gee, I had hoped the new thread would be named "Welcome to Mr. Peng's Neighborhood", but I see the rest of you don't share my knowledge of culture and art. PawBroon is the thread namesake, so this should be a ride into contorted syntax where even Mensch fears to go. Fear and Loathing in the Cesspool. Thanks to Joe Shaw for two things: (1) my new sig line; and (2) living three time zones away from me. The rest of you can crawl throught the Forest of Dingle where the berries are very ripe this time of year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark IV Posted May 7, 2001 Share Posted May 7, 2001 Where has Herr OSFG been off to? The Pendulum of Disaster had begun to swing in his direction (finally) and perhaps it's knocked him on his head? God knows MINE's still ringing. When Elvis shows up to post "wankers", let's all jump up and shout "boo!". Perhaps he'll die of fright. If not, I think I would like a rematch with the gamey, anti-sequentialist chump. I foolishly misread the scenario briefing of our last but manfully lived with my mistake until the grisly end. I will probably also kill Pawbroon again, as I like that roasted garlic smell. Modesty and decorum forbid a description of what I am doing to Hiram/Phan, but it is early in the game. Hopefully Elvis and Peng are coaching him... I see the invisible hand of a Gray Eminence already at work. I try to hate equally, but I really hate Goanna. Don't you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PawBroon Posted May 7, 2001 Author Share Posted May 7, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mark IV: I see the invisible hand of a Gray Eminence already at work.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> That's the only grey matter that Hiram could put in any given game... While you're at it Hiram, if you could yell above your shoulder at the PseudoPod so that he could proceed a little more speedily with his setup that would be grand and maybe Mr4 will then let you shoot in his general direction. 99 to 1 Hiram, small steps, small steps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted May 7, 2001 Share Posted May 7, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Thanks to Joe Shaw for two things: (1) my new sig line; and (2) living three time zones away from me.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> (1) You're Welcome, it's the most I could do for you. (2) It's ONLY TWO time zones! There, don't you feel better now? May I echo (Helllloooo, helllloo, hell...) the kind and benevolent (malevolent?) Seanachai in his call for a more PC Cess? Not because I have anything against Macs you understand, but I use a PC and therefore everyone should. As to the other issue he raised (sit down Bauhaus), there is obviously a fine line involved between cautioning Bauhaus (for virtually anything) or advising Mace to use wool conditioner for that fluffy feel and some of the more blatant ... stuff ... that's been posted. It's not that we aren't all adults, though we all aren't (Yes I'm looking at YOU DekeFentle), but rather that we have to be very careful with the forebearance of BTS, especially with the outer board railing against us at times. Just my opinion, but I expect everyone to fall into line since it is, hello, MY opinion. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agua Perdido Posted May 7, 2001 Share Posted May 7, 2001 My, such a busy weekend. Nice to see a return to the classics. Perhaps Seanachai can revisit his old post about catamites, a classic from one of the first pages of the Old Thread. I'm sure the inevitable influx of scumsuckingnewbies will bring it to mind. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Abbot: In the interest of playing another game in this despicable place I call you out Agua Perdido. As I am sure you already know, I do not posses the ability (yet) to write to you a fitting “Peng” challenge. However I do say sir that I would enjoy very much adding you to my growing list of helpless victims.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Polite, to the point, self-depracting--a worthy supplication in Polite PBEM Society. Altogether unacceptable. ("Unacceptable!") <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by chrisl: I demand that Aquaman not sent you a setup until you can at least be a little abrasive.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Too true, and chrisl's a rocket scientist, you know. I nearly gave Abbot a game just to spite him, but... <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Abbot: A repeat from the Witty challenged..<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Abbot, Abbot, Abbot. I want to play you--I do. But a fella's got to have standards on the Mutha Beautiful Thread, especially if they're arbitrary, capricious, and inconsistent. Like an irritating rash, you're persistent. But you don't actually itch enough to bother scratching. To belabor this analogy a bit further, you'll have to get considerably more like a case of hives for me to demand the hydrocortisone cream of a setup. Go and grab the thistle by the nettles, lad! Post it here to rub it in our faces until our eyes swell up so grotesquely that we can't see, and we choke on our own mucous. Be unkind. Be ungenerous. Be specific. Which reminds me: Updates The irretrievably-bent DekeFentle declared "no ubers" in our current game, then bought a bunch of veteran 88 pillboxes. I suppose he meant "no moving ubers." Leeo and I have settled back into the drudgery of ongoing attrition after our one turn of excitment. Only 15 turns to go. That unrepentent cheater Seanachai is toying with me on the most rigged map imaginable. By applying the firepower of a whole battalion, I've managed to get nearly an entire squad across the open space leading up to village containing the VLs. Then it's on to the house-to-house fighting, where I'll finally have the advantage (relative to the approach, at least). Croda (who is a brainless prat) is still MIA, however... Goanna has taken his place as bringer of bad weather. Our rematch is at night, in snow. I hate snow! I hate fighting at night! I especially hate fighting at night in snow! BUT I REALLY HATE GOANNA! I'll keep on with our game of hide-and-go-dead just so I can take a few of his spotty geckos down with me. Last (and certainly least) is Wildman. That daft git has hacked the CM code in a most peculiar way: the map is a hilly village with interesting terrain, but the VLs are way off on the side, away from any of said interesting terrain. Just like Wildman, it's a showcase of unrealized potential. Agua Perdido [ 05-07-2001: Message edited by: Agua Perdido ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted May 7, 2001 Share Posted May 7, 2001 Well, I am certainly glad to be out of Pengville, even if the new incarnation has French overtones. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Speaking of standing and for the exclusive benefit of #176, we are not long standing idiots since we've been known to sit from time to time...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Why are you doing anything for the exclusive benifit of an idiot? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
armornut Posted May 7, 2001 Share Posted May 7, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka: Armornut had a moan about being french in his set up and has not been heard of since. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I must apologize for not returning any turns this weekend. I had a work emergency (crack mom that thought it was okay to use her kid for a football) and I have been dealing with police, social services, and the hospital all weekend. I have to go to court today to tell the judge that kicking the kid is not in it's best interest. I will get to the turns later this afternoon or this tonight. I would have rather delt with you guys than with a 24 year old crack mom who kicks the crap out of her kid for eating the last four cookies (bye the way that was all he had to eat all day). If you don't like it bugger off! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PawBroon Posted May 7, 2001 Author Share Posted May 7, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Berlichtingen: Why are you doing anything for the exclusive benifit of an idiot?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Why? But I have been trained by the best my friend. If I was to expect more then I'd be mailing certain people directly each pertaining to the best of his abilities... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFCElvis Posted May 7, 2001 Share Posted May 7, 2001 Wankers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phillies Phan Posted May 7, 2001 Share Posted May 7, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elvis: Wankers<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Boo!! You suck!! Your basketball team sucks too. hehe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phillies Phan Posted May 7, 2001 Share Posted May 7, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by armornut: I must apologize for not returning any turns this weekend. I had a work emergency (crack mom that thought it was okay to use her kid for a football) and I have been dealing with police, social services, and the hospital all weekend. I have to go to court today to tell the judge that kicking the kid is not in it's best interest. I will get to the turns later this afternoon or this tonight. I would have rather delt with you guys than with a 24 year old crack mom who kicks the crap out of her kid for eating the last four cookies (bye the way that was all he had to eat all day). If you don't like it bugger off!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I have an Elite mom with a +2 for Balogna sandwhiches. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted May 7, 2001 Share Posted May 7, 2001 It is with a right good will that I arrive to give my official sanction to this new incarnation of the Eternal Thread, started by our own The French. Let it mark a return to the values that made this Thread known across the web (many searches using 'Google' for all sorts of obscure things will turn up some version or another of the Peng Challenge Thread as a high percentage 'hit'), the subject of controversy across the Board, and hated and feared by the self-obsessed and humouless everywhere. And in that spirit, let me just say: Pawbroon! Stop hiding behind your public duty to the Thread and send me the next turn! I must find out if that Sherman dies or not. He should not be left forever, poised on the brink of eternity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PawBroon Posted May 7, 2001 Author Share Posted May 7, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elvis: Wankers<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Boo! Thanks for providing me the script MkIV. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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