DekeFentle Posted April 11, 2001 Share Posted April 11, 2001 Game update: Berlichtingen Onward we slug. There’s still some kick left in this one but I fear the end is in sight. One never knows though, especially a foul evil one like Berli, we shall see… Agua Perdido This gamey nit is using armor to fire on my infantry! I am undoubtedly going to loose this one but who wouldn’t based on the water boy changing the game code to make his hellcat gunner into an ubergunner. I will drive on till death, something I seem to be doing way too much of late. Mace Just barely underway. I am sure I have made some grievous error here too. How else will I hold my perfect record in tact? Leeo You are a bastard! Your shoddy play places my perfect zero win record in jeopardy! When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor. Edited to remove silly code that didn't work. [ 04-11-2001: Message edited by: DekeFentle ] [ 04-11-2001: Message edited by: DekeFentle ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bauhaus Posted April 11, 2001 Share Posted April 11, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Canuck: OMG I'm the first reply!!! This is such an honour! I'm kind of a PENG virgin so could someone please help me out here? I'm not sure where to go from here <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Why on earth would you ask for help in the Peng thread? Good God man, I do believed your pair is sucked up inside you. Would somebody please hand this man a rope so he can hang himself? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bauhaus Posted April 11, 2001 Share Posted April 11, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Speedbump: Its clear to me that the denizens of the cesspool are simply full of themselves. In fact, you lick yourself instead of bathing, you uneducable, mold smelling, sheep molesting, carpet-bagging whelps of Richard Nixon's secret indiscretions! :eek: You should spend less time posting and more time playing! Speedbump Disclaimer: Taunt not original, but couldn't resist. [ 04-11-2001: Message edited by: Speedbump ]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I really don't see anything wrong with all these things you claim we do. Everyone needs a hobby. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted April 11, 2001 Author Share Posted April 11, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Joe, while compared to My Most Just and Gracious Lord, jd, is shoe-scrapings, is so far above you as to notice you no more than NASA can seem to find Mars properly. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh well said Iskander ... uh ... at least I THINK it was well said. In any case you are quite correct. Sir Joe Shaw is, after all, a Knight of The One The True CessPool. However, while he is also known as Joe the Merciless, Joe the Destroyer of Little Minds and Joe the Scourge of Scum Sucking Newbies ... the last is not entirely true ALL the time. Sometimes ... I find myself recalling with fondness the first few faltering steps of MY loyal and trustworthy squire Agua Perdido when first HE entered the pool and I think of what he might have become without my guidance and encouragement. I find, therefore, that I shall abandon my usual practice and grant this new lad, what's his name again ... speedbump (oh well, there's room for all I suppose) the boon of a game with ... ME! I shall send the lad a setup of Jabo! so that he shall be tested in the proven method of the CessPool ... and may God have mercy on his soul ... for I shall have none. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speedbump Posted April 11, 2001 Share Posted April 11, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I find, therefore, that I shall abandon my usual practice and grant this new lad, what's his name again ... speedbump (oh well, there's room for all I suppose) the boon of a game with ... ME! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I suppose that I should be falling down on my knees in gratitude. However, I only have this uncomfortable feeling in my lower abdomen. Hurry and send the setup, so that I might release that which is pressuring me so... Speedbump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phillies Phan Posted April 11, 2001 Share Posted April 11, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally Preened and Primped by Joe Shaw: I'm such a pretty boy. Pretty Pretty such a pretty boy. Joe[/QB]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Hey Joe, where you going with that scenario in your hand? Could you forward that Jabo scenario to this email address? Hiram_Sedai@yahoo.com thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted April 11, 2001 Author Share Posted April 11, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Hey Joe, where you going with that scenario in your hand? Could you forward that Jabo scenario to this email address? Hiram_Sedai@yahoo.com<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Done and done my young friend, I found it on the net, not sure where, and it sounded interesting. I should point out to speedbump that entrance to the CessPool is not merely gained through playing a game with a member. No indeed, the game is, after all, merely a vehicle for that most important of CessPool attributes, bile and spleen ... sometimes with a little liver, a nice Chianti and some fava beans. In short, speedbump, you shall be judged not by your play, though that will be the backdrop of your trial, but rather by your ATTITUDE and, most importantly, your verbal jousting here ... in this The One The True CessPool. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamstersss Posted April 11, 2001 Share Posted April 11, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Speedbump: [QB]I suppose that I should be falling down on my knees in gratitude.[QB]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Wow, I knew newbies were accomodating but not that accomodating. Let's see, first I'd like to apologize for my lack of postings, well, I'd like to but you sorry lot of boobs don't deserve that kind of sentiment. What's that, Bauhaus? What do you deserve? You deserve to be run over by cowboys on acid, to be raped by nuns with matronly arms, to be cornholed by the proverbial rhino. Put simply, all but 6 or maybe 7 of you ignorant savages should be put down for the greater good of humanity. It's ungodly the amount of high-octane crap that gets shoveled in here on a too regular basis, what with idiot newbies and senile old-timers. And my cousin, my goddamn, hippie-ass, transgeneticly pig-cloned son of a, well, he's family so we shouldn't talk about that. Anyone who thinks Harpoontang is me should be raped by mule deer. Updates: Stukes continues to chew up my men, which are him, which is damned confusing. So who wins if he holds the victory flags but also lies dead on the field in the hundreds? Aitken is sniping my men with a pair of putrid pumas, alliteratively actuated across an almost assinine area. Abbott isn't even part of the Pool, anymore, is he? Frenchie is preparing to kill my many hundreds of Stukas. Seanachai is being assaulted by ubertanks. This battle will be over once my men pick the little bits of Brit out of their tracks. MarkIV's plucky little Stuart just had dessert. You can't properly digest all the iron in spinach without a good dose of 75mm HEAT. I have an entire platoon holding the first victory flag that he assaulted, still holding the flag and doing such a fine job that ol' Outdated Panzer himself has given up and moved on. PeterNZer has been mugged, repeatedly. Five crack and elite tigers defeated by a bunch of green (Some without ammo, even) Cromwells and Stuarts. The rest of the battle will consist of blowing up the abandoned Tigers and gunning down the crews because, you see, this is an operation and you must be thorough. Jefe, if you're still alive, I say, please resend the turn! Jd is finding out what happens when I think an Attack is a Meeting Engagement. It wasn't until the fifth or sixth file that I realized the flags were way too far back. Fortuneately, my masterful gunners on my Stuarts, utilizing that fine piece of weaponry, the Ubercannon itself, the 37mm, have managed to make up for my tactical errors by lighting two of his PZIVs on fire. Did I forget anyone? Oh, yes, Mensch, send a setup. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorak Posted April 11, 2001 Share Posted April 11, 2001 umm, nice that the forum is getting back to normal, or what passes for normal anyway. Small little tome update: Mace-win Speedy-loss Lorak-draw GiTom-draw Yes GiTom and I fought to a long and bitter end. The result being a lousy draw. I should be gratefull considering that until the very last turn my axis boys looked in dire need of help. But alais, Tommies in a corn field don't stand up to well to fire it seems. Thus allowing me to eek out a Draw. As gamey as GiTom's play was it really was the closest game I have been involved in. Lorak-47 and GiTom-48 The rest of my games are going on as planned (with me losing). Iskander... is still blasting away at my infantry with his sherman. Moriarty... seems we both decided to just sit and stare at each other this turn. Croda... is still hiding, well as much as you can hide armor parked out in open fields. Mace...let me make it through a whole turn with out blowing something of mine up. Goanna and Hakko... have obviously became bunk mates in that turkish prison. I believe that is all for now... if not? who really cares? Lorak the loathed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Aitken Posted April 12, 2001 Share Posted April 12, 2001 Ellrunt, your server is rejecting my e-mails saying it doesn't want anything from my IP address. I didn't know my reputation spread that quickly. I suggest you get a real e-mail account, or wait a while and I'll try sending again. (The length of "a while" is open to interpretation.) [ 04-11-2001: Message edited by: David Aitken ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted April 12, 2001 Share Posted April 12, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>A long time ago in a Peng thread far, far away, Speedy posted: I'm sure the public servant will come along and gloat just as soon as he gets home from his daily taxpayer funded holiday.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> And gloat I did over a Total Allied Victory: gloat gloat gloat gloat gloat gloat gloat gloat gloat gloat gloat gloat gloat gloat gloat gloat gloat gloat gloat gloat gloat gloat gloat gloat gloat gloat gloat gloat gloat gloat gloat gloat gloat gloat gloat gloat gloat gloat gloat gloat Annoying, Aren't I? This is what happens when I'm on holidays. Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iskander Posted April 12, 2001 Share Posted April 12, 2001 I'm safely home and safely drinking... interesting posts to follow... maybe... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iskander Posted April 12, 2001 Share Posted April 12, 2001 OK! Three gins and much better now! Word (Logos) has come that the twice-noble Joe Shaw -- a man among men and the occassional sheep, but hey, that's Pete Singer's 21st Century, isn't it? -- is taking on PotHole or RoundAbout or SpudBum or whatever its name is with the Berli-damned JABO scenario. And we thought Crodaburg was bad... Unfortunately, I did commit myself to a game, so in the interest of fairness (hang on! keep reading!) I shall send a setup to the lint that will give him the same easy victory that JABO promises him... after all, we must treat these newbies oh-so-gently.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speedbump Posted April 12, 2001 Share Posted April 12, 2001 Well, as noted above, I have received two setups from members of the Pool. And frankly, I feel....dirty. Each email was oozing with virtual cess. Clearly, Mr. Shawhas something up his sleeve with this Jabo! scenario. Probably thinks it is some kind of "initiation" setup. Well, clearly if he is a "member of cess in good standing", it won't matter. It will be no more difficult than wiping manure off one's shoes. Its a little early to tell what tricks Iskander has in mind, but they better be good. Now its off to the shower where I can feel clean again.... Speedbump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted April 12, 2001 Author Share Posted April 12, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>The dssn (disgusting slime sucking newbie) speedbump actually had the nerve to return, let's see if anything he says is worthy of notice: Well, as noted above, I have received two setups from members of the Pool. And frankly, I feel....dirty. Each email was oozing with virtual cess.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> First laddy me lad, don't call me Frank, it's Sir Joe to you pal! As to feeling dirty ... I love it when a plan comes together. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Clearly, Mr. Shaw has something up his sleeve with this Jabo! scenario. Probably thinks it is some kind of "initiation" setup. Well, clearly if he is a "member of cess in good standing", it won't matter. It will be no more difficult than wiping manure off one's shoes.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> What! You DARE to accuse a KNIGHT OF THE ONE THE TRUE CESSPOOL of Rigging a Scenario? Well I never ... okay maybe NEVER is something of an exaggeration, but this scenario is highly winnable ... if you're on the right side and as I recall you're on the ... let me see ... oh my ... Well, humpf, anyway we don't advise wiping the manure from your shoes here, better the devil you know if you get my drift. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Its a little early to tell what tricks Iskander has in mind, but they better be good.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Iskander is small potatoes as we say in Ireland and odds are he's going to do something gamey ... God knows he hasn't the tactical ability of a sponge. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Now its off to the shower where I can feel clean again....<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> {SNEER} And you aspire to the CessPool do you? Nice little CLEAN mamby pamby mamma's boy you are right enough. Holding a scented hankie under your nose are you, not good enough to smell like the rest of us laddie me lad? WELL IT WON'T DO, You'll stink like the rest of us AND LIKE IT! Joe [ 04-11-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iskander Posted April 12, 2001 Share Posted April 12, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: ... Iskander is small potatoes as we say in Ireland and odds are he's going to do something gamey ... God knows he hasn't the tactical ability of a sponge... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> At least we sponges don't spend all of our time trolling Big and Little Cottonwood Valleys for Mormon Wives! And me, gamey? I'm whose Squire? Now: why don't you go and try to find a restaurant that sells booze... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFCElvis Posted April 12, 2001 Share Posted April 12, 2001 Wankers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted April 12, 2001 Author Share Posted April 12, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>At least we sponges don't spend all of our time trolling Big and Little Cottonwood Valleys for Mormon Wives!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Hah! A lot YOU know, it's Big and Little Cottonwood CANYONS boyo, and don't you forget about it ... mind you the rest is pretty accurate. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> And me, gamey? I'm whose Squire? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Good point, the acorn doesn't fall very far from the tree does it? Although I don't think of an oak when I think of jd ... more like one of those warped, twisted, diseased, evil, scheming growths out of the Lord of the Rings. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Now: why don't you go and try to find a restaurant that sells booze... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>If I have to think about jd much more I'll have to ... {shudder}. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foobar Posted April 12, 2001 Share Posted April 12, 2001 Originally Posted by SpeedHump: <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Excuse me, but when I attended elementary school (did you?) they taught us basic grammer<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Good gawd man, are you TRYING to open yourself up to attack. What a ridiculous arse you are. I would say something to demean you, but to say a single word, would be to break the spell of your perfect self-parody. Oh yeah, and grow a pair. Now, onto Joe Shaw: I have to say, that as Peng Thread naming goes, you suck on toast! I would expect that kind of crap from a David Aiken, or some grognard wannabe with deficient people skills.. oh wait!! That's You!!!! Piss Off, you worthless goat-pumper. And Roborat: Do you think that I "slipped up" and revealed that armor publicly on ACCIDENT? I shouldnt be suprised, your gameplay has been even more naive than that assumption. I called you out, sweetheart. SGT FOOBAR, of the free french has taken all comers. That Sherman is going to be the death of you, and I just wanted you to know it before you died. You are a bore. But at least when you get riled you are laughable, giving you some small amount of usefulness. That is all, carry on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BilgeRat Posted April 12, 2001 Share Posted April 12, 2001 Arrrgh! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Aitken Posted April 12, 2001 Share Posted April 12, 2001 I just had the strange sensation that I was either going to sneeze, vomit or have an orgasm. I think I may have caught something from one of my American PBEM partners. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leeo Posted April 12, 2001 Share Posted April 12, 2001 A day of debacle has dundered from Deke... Lorak, note the following: Deke Fentle- win Leeo- loss Deke Fentle, the uber gamey bastige, has achieved a narrow win, due primarily to the over-zealousness of my American heroes, and his propensity to skulk about within reinforced concrete. I had to put out more smoke than Bob Marley on holiday in Columbia, but he had the nerve, nay, the Gall! to put troops where I was going. He never sent the closing file, so he may have been cheating, but I'll give the wanker the benefit of the doubt. He will pay. Oh yes, he will pay! [ 04-11-2001: Message edited by: Leeo ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speedbump Posted April 12, 2001 Share Posted April 12, 2001 Well wouldn't you know it. I finally grace this "Pool" with my presence and the first git I challenge is functionally illiterate! Miss Shaw in two (read it..Two!) emails promises he has mastered the complex skill of zipping game files. But (and unless you are a regular denizen of the CessPool ) you guessed it. Both the setup and the first turn was sent as simple text, embedded in the email. Personally, I think that Miss Shaw is so verbose, that he forgot what he wrote at the start of the note long before he reached the end! Clearly, playing members of the Pool will require the type of Patience required of Special Education Teachers! Speedbump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted April 12, 2001 Share Posted April 12, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Although I don't think of an oak when I think of jd ... more like one of those warped, twisted, diseased, evil, scheming growths out of the Lord of the Rings.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> AAaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaa!!! JD's a hobbit! JD's a hobbit!!!! [ 04-11-2001: Message edited by: Mace ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foobar Posted April 12, 2001 Share Posted April 12, 2001 SpeedHump, After spelling GRAMMAR wrong, you'd be best to stay quiet..you git... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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