Mark IV Posted June 19, 2001 Share Posted June 19, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader: It's no big deal. Have fun. Personally I hate defending as the Ami's <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> But now I'm in your debt, no matter how little, and even though you sent me the present you wanted for yourself, like a 5-year-old giving mummy a wrestling action figure for Christmas. And despite the fact that I shall save your scenario for a rainy day, and I live in a place where it never rains, for my dog to play against the AI, if I get a dog, and they're not allowed in this complex. To discharge this odious obligation I send you in turn my own creation, and insist that you play Germans defending against one of the lesser denizens (lesser in a generic sense, not lesser than yourself, you pathetic hairball). As the board's self-appointed Defender, preferring to cower behind trees nibbling your rations while real men do the fighting, this should be up your alley. Also, damn you for forcing me to address you directly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marlow Posted June 19, 2001 Share Posted June 19, 2001 MrSpankie, You Sir are a ChowderHead. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr in the interminably long and boring thread about penetrations by large rigid oblong objects: Bumped just because I like seeing a 567 post thread on page one! PENG! now has something for which to work!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> If you were versed in the lore of the MuthaBeautiful Thread you would know that at one time the Peng Thread reached almost 3000 posts. It was like the Mighty Amazon, stretching across the Forum as far as the eye could see. By comparison, the "Big Ass NAZI Gun Penetration Thread" was a mere ephemeral stream. Today's Peng is a mere Slimfast shadow of its former bloated glory, much as you akin to the skidmarks in one of the Old Ones decrepit undergarments. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Leader Posted June 19, 2001 Share Posted June 19, 2001 Roight, guv.nor! I will take this title you lay before me, that of "Defender of the Mutha Beautiful" and discharge it with the utmost in civility and strength of determination. For is it not the ultimate virtue to have tasted the fruits of sin, and yet to turned away from them and into redemption? Or is it greater still to have spent a life avoiding the mortal coil of vice, and have remained pure throughout? Some may say the latter, but I believe that the ultimate testing of one's mettle against the clawing fingers of mankind is to immerse one'self into the muck and mire and yet still be strong enough to pick one'self up and wash one'self off, there to have seen both darkness and light, yet to have chosen light. Who is the greater good in the world. Is it Luke Skywalker or Darth Vader? But that question brings another twist to the age old question for one might argue that Vader's apologia was an after-thought, was in fact no more than "leaving no stone unturned." Did he also pray to Vishnu and Allah before the fateful arrow of mortality struck him to the core? And if so, is true redemption more than just renouncing the sins of one's past? And if so, then what IS the ephemeral quality that makes justice run true one minute but to be a mirage the next? Mayhaps that is the reason for some, like our own paladin, Seanachai (ahh even his name rolls off the tongue like a brogue lullabye) to feel that lightness is all the lighter for never having been sullied with even an iota of the pigment of despair. These are the questions that remain unanswered, yet funnily, in each one of us there is already an answer formed. We are always the last to know. So yes, O' noble Mark IV I will take with heavy heart this charge you have laid before me, and I will defend it with my life, for I am squire to a crusader, after taking squireship from a hedonistic love-making sensualist. \*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/ Ah yes Mark IV, and as for the scenario - it is hard to find playtesters who can PBEM, so that is why I slyly (and subtly) sent it to you. There are features to the battaille royale that can only be seen in their full glory when unleashed at the hands of a human opponent. But for your scenario, I shall shoot it straight and true into the breast of my next Peng Challenge, unless perchance (o how I hope not) it proves to come my way as a scum-sucking-newbie whence I will shoot into his heart of hearts a bit o' "Jabo!" I do believe. *-=-*-=-*-=-*-=-* If any other cretins, lowlifes, etc. (cesspians I mean) would like to test their metle against the guns of Navarone, please but ask and you shall recieve. The battle is making somewhat of a splash. . . . . Okay, so its not, sod off! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geier Posted June 19, 2001 Share Posted June 19, 2001 I cannot believe that anyone can write an "article" called "Defending against the assault, a CM guide" when they are as stupid, ignorant and useless as someone who, intelligence be damned, actually wrote that the allies would be better off without zookers and mortars. And this when on the defense. I plan to hunt down whoever it was that taught Panties how to write and kill him/her. Just because you can write long tedious, meaningless crap does not mean that you should. I've seen paper bags with more smarts than you. Here is a europenny. Go get yourself a clue. Now over to the so called Elders, the Three Stooges. You have just given two idjits what they wanted, for no other reason than because they asked for it. I sincerely hope that there is a huuuge catch involved and that you plan to go Twilight Zone on them in the end. A suggestion would be to force Jshandorf to squire Panties. Forever. That would be good in a very very bad way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geier Posted June 19, 2001 Share Posted June 19, 2001 Is Sheepshagger alive? Some kind of "hello, I can't return your file because you're beating me senseless and I don't want shandorf to think I can lose" would be nice. Or a surrender file, whichever makes you feel bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Leader Posted June 19, 2001 Share Posted June 19, 2001 Look all I'm saying (for Christ' Sake!) is that you can get a company of SMG for around 294. They work well on the defense. Now then, on the flip side, try buying a Coy of US troops and its like 564 or something. (IIRC) That is not a valuable trade. Now then, I never said that 60mm or bazookas are no good - they are very good. But when buying Axis infantry you get to CHOOSE how many to get, whereas with Allies, you are assigned that many. When I have a measly 1,00 points to spend, and I know I am gonna be facing almost twice that (1,750) then a single coy costing well over half my total is going to hurt. Besides, that is not the only reason it is hard to defend on the Allied side. So why don't you take your big fat brain and sod off okay? It is one thing to lambast another person for whatever inanities pop up here in the Peng Challenge Thread but the thing I am working on is no concern of yours, so you can just read it or not, kay? I really could care less. You know Gear everything you say to me seems directed as an insult, but they are not witty, well thought out, or even in the spirit of the Mutha Beautiful. They are just plain mean-spirited. Man, what a cold prickly. He needs some "Serafim". It works for my wife - why don't you try it? It really helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agua Perdido Posted June 19, 2001 Share Posted June 19, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai's idiot squire (as distinguished from Seanachai's elder squire, who, while not the brightest bulb in the chandelier, is not as singularly idiotic as the other one): BLAHBLAHLBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> SHUT UP! Dammit, Seanachai, if you won't discipline your squire, I will (*KICK*). No more wanna-be grog crap (*KICK*), no more incessant self-promotion of your Outerboard crap (*KICK*) (incessant anything has no place here--only cessant will do)[(*KICK*) and that's for making me make a pun (*KICK*)], no more whining about how Geier's mean (*KICK*) because he mocks you for being such a fenderhead (*KICK*) both within the Cess and without (*KICK*). This is Cesspool, laddie-me-boyo (*KICK*) and all grounds for assuming one is an idiot are fair game (*KICK*), not to mention typically correct. Now, try to limit yourself to posting only when you have something witty or at least interesting to write (or, since you have yet to post anything witty or interesting, post no more than once per page). Agua Perdido [Edited to add one last (*KICK*).] [ 06-19-2001: Message edited by: Agua Perdido ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geier Posted June 19, 2001 Share Posted June 19, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader: You know Gear everything you say to me seems directed as an insult, but they are not witty, well thought out, or even in the spirit of the Mutha Beautiful. They are just plain mean-spirited.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Thank you. I didn't think anyone noticed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PawBroon Posted June 19, 2001 Share Posted June 19, 2001 You want to use on a Swede something you actually tested first on your wife?! Gee! Now that's kinky... PL, as a so called long time lurker and whatnot, you should know people's posting style by now. Geier's and Aitken's are very distinctive. Thinking you had been personnally insulted when you were just broadly ruffled is a bit an overstatement. Being in the Pool requires a certain amount of leather skinness and a wee bit of resiliency. Since when do you expect people to recognize that anything you could say in here have value? Have you seen anyone refering in ANY way to the multiple articles I had done on the web? In the likely event that they even cared, they would have most certainly said something along the lines of YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE STOP JERKING YOU JERK!!! If you do 15% of the total postings, you should expect 15% of the total nastiness. By the way, I'm looking forward to read your article. Either it would be good, or I'll mock you to no end. In any case I'd be mocking you in here. As will Geier, Peng, and all the others for that matter. Just because this is you, just because this is us... To keep up with Pembelisator teaching style, THWACK CRACK KICK!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted June 19, 2001 Share Posted June 19, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by panties: Look all I'm saying (for Christ' Sake!) is that you can get a company of SMG for around 294. They work well on the defense. Now then, on the flip side, try buying a Coy of US troops and its like 564 or something. (IIRC) That is not a valuable trade. Now then, I never said that 60mm or bazookas are no good - they are very good. But when buying Axis infantry you get to CHOOSE how many to get, whereas with Allies, you are assigned that many. blah..blah..blah <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> II.a) This is not a grog thread. I was threatened with 'the brick' for even showing grog-like tendancies when I first splashed in here. Actually posting such stuff here defeats the whole purpose of this stinking, fudge-like morass of poop that we like to call home. We post here to get away from the Outerboards and the chattering penetration monkeys that roost there. Don't expect intellect in here, or logic, or politeness, just expect bluster and brine in your eyes. 327.1138) Perhaps a more more useful approach to a Defense posture would be to analyze the ways to win (or not lose badly) given what you have to work with as opposed to some optimally-balanced force structure. [ 06-19-2001: Message edited by: dalem ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Babra Posted June 19, 2001 Share Posted June 19, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by dalem: 327.1138) Perhaps a more more useful approach... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> What's that, the friggin star date? *Cough* Geek... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geier Posted June 19, 2001 Share Posted June 19, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by dalem: 327.1138) Perhaps a more more useful approach to a Defense posture would be to analyze the ways to win (or not lose badly) given what you have to work with as opposed to some optimally-balanced force structure.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> No. No. No. That approach would actually make sense and be useful. Shooo. Off with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Leader Posted June 19, 2001 Share Posted June 19, 2001 Oh for cryin' out loud. I make an off-the-cuff remark about why it is hard to defend as the Ami's (and I realize now how wrong I was to speak groggishly in here) and when some one calls me an idiot: "Oh no, its perfectly easy to defend with the allies, why I do it all the time, and my little sister almost NEVER beats me" (I think that's what he said) I decided to go ahead and try and make my point. Now you sodders are telling me that my article is Frigging nothing but "the system" and about optimiztion or some such tripe. Crikey, it is hard to communicate effectively. Is their some sort of swamp gas being released into this stuffy atmosphere?? Just shut up about the damn article okay? Anyway, since Mark IV proclaimed me the Peng Challenge Defender a while back, I think I'll go ahead and run with it, sticking my foot further in my mouth and laying out my reasoning. As to the Allies, there was a subtle double-entendre when I called out jshandorf. I really wanted to see a winnable defense with the Allies. Maybe I'm not good enough to pull one off, but does that make me incapable of understanding the ramifications and theories behind it? In all honesty (and jshandorf please look away) I WANT the prict to win. It would be a much more valuable lesson to me than stomping him (which I am pretty sure I can do). That said, I am gonna give him EVERYTHING I have, because any less would skew the true lessons of the battle. That said, it is my firm belief that Against a comptent opponent, no Allied Defense against Axis Assault Quick battle is winnable. Only under the most arcane instances of luck or bad planning is a win achievable. Now, please, let me re-iterate that I would LOVE to be proven wrong on this count. As for cherry picking: shut the hell up and sod off. I am being serious. As for "Win with what ya got" I try to do that, and my article, while it does include certain weapons and units that have advantages, it is by no means a guide to cherry-picking. The "win with what ya got" is hard to understand when I can't get the Allies to win on the defense. It doesn't matter "what they got" but I can tell you that I wish I had some of the points spent on 60mm's so I could buy a few more 50 cal's. Pawbroon I read your articles (except for that very first one from way back, some kind of idiots guide) and I liked them. I even commented that they were good. Specifically: 1) Good working knowledge of the English language Placed adjective BEFORE the noun. Thanks for the kind words papa Pawbroon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Aitken Posted June 19, 2001 Share Posted June 19, 2001 Today I am content to be alive. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Panzer Leader wrote: Whiiiiiiiiiiiine<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh well, it was nice while it lasted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted June 19, 2001 Share Posted June 19, 2001 ***looks around furtively*** . . . ***sneaks across darkened hallway into the pantry*** . . . ***grabs new bar of soap and shoves it into a pillowcase*** . . . (whispering) "I may need some help with this." . . . ***grabs several more pillowcases and new bars of soap*** . . . ***sneaks off in the dark*** to be continued . . . [Edited to get more supplies] [ 06-19-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geier Posted June 19, 2001 Share Posted June 19, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader: Now you sodders are telling me that my article is Frigging nothing but "the system" and about optimiztion or some such tripe.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I haven't read your article. I haven't flogged your article. I have flogged you in the Peng Challenge Thread for a Really Stupid Comment you made about the 60mm mortar and the bazooka. When you start a thread called "Defending against the Assault – a CM Guide" you are indirectly saying that you know your stuff. Then you made a Really Stupid Comment and if you don't realize that making Really Stupid Comments in the pool unleashes the dogs and makes you a target, you must be from another planet or lead a very sheltered life. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I am being serious.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> That, young grasshopper, is one of the biggest mistakes you could ever make in here. You seem to be making it frequently. No one is invited in here, we do not hope you enjoy your stay, we will not apologize for the awful service and we do not care if you leave a tip. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Leader Posted June 19, 2001 Share Posted June 19, 2001 All right, I have sat down for a moment (a wise kaniggett once told me to take a big drink of whiskey before making a post) and I have studied the words of his immortal Peng for instruction. I believe I have found in Peng the wisdom needed, and shall put it to use directly: Feh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agua Perdido Posted June 19, 2001 Share Posted June 19, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader: Feh<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> That's easily your best (or should I say, "least dreadful") post. If you'd managed to abridge the painfully-overdone introductory comments, it might've even risen to the level of "not quite utterly intolerable." Less is more. If you can't be the soul of wit, at least be brief. Or better yet, be gone. UPDATES While I'm am it, Seanachai is spending far too much time knocking out my SP guns and not enough time administering the Boot of Education to his squire. I have several broken half-squads remaining, however, and will continue my attack on the ALL-TIME GAMIEST RIGGED MAP EVER. Speaking of gamey, DekeFentle's all-pillbox defense continues to annoy me, especially since I pressed "T" with my 81mm FO last turn instead of "K." I'm going to machine-gun any prisoners I take. Goanna's turns always come over with CRC errors, but they decode in spite of that... need I present further proof he is a CHEATING, FILE-HACKING BASTARD? We have yet to spot each other on the large, 60m-LOS map. I hate snow. stevetherat is concentrating his forces where I have arty falling, and playing even slower than I do (unless it's still my turn, in which case I'm playing even slower than I do). And Leeo has gone on vacation, the wench. Sure, he spun some unlikely tale about family or kids or Disneyland or some-such, but I know he left solely to delay my rightful fruits of victory--three turns left on the clock, and only a panicky HQ and a shellshocked sturmgruppe between me and the last VL, enough to finally tilt the score decisively into my win column (well, perhaps tactically into my win column... marginally at the least). I'm probably playing some other slow-moving twits, but I'd have to check the records. In the meantime, I'm torn between wishing Pawbroon's former squire goes away so I never have to read his drivel again, and wishing he stays so all of you have to read his drivel forever (yes, I hate you all that much). Agua Perdido Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted June 19, 2001 Share Posted June 19, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Guywire: No one is invited in here, we do not hope you enjoy your stay, we will not apologize for the awful service and we do not care if you leave a tip.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Wait, does that mean that we've all automatically become............. FRENCH!?!?!?!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted June 19, 2001 Share Posted June 19, 2001 You guys let this one go by? <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> Pawbroon I read your articles (except for that very first one from way back, some kind of idiots guide) <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Sounds like you missed the one article you really needed to read. So come on Panties, send a 1000 point QB setup. I’ll take the Allies on defense. I may not win, but if you lead your troops like you post here, at least I’ll get to laugh at you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawyer Posted June 19, 2001 Share Posted June 19, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Agua Perdido: If you can't be the soul of wit, at least be brief. Agua Perdido <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I'm beginning to believe that Panzer Leader has no soul. Have we considered the possibility that PL is, in fact, a demon sent to drive us all insane with relentless drivel by Satan himself, Berli? No human, particularly one claiming to have a job, could post such voluminous and annoying crap with such constancy. It MUST be the work of the Devil. Even the apparent relief of PL's one-word "feh" post is spoiled by his gaudy, overwrought, and way overlength sig line. I believe we have all entered HELL without dying physically first, although PL is working on it. At least we will know what to expect when we get there... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Leader Posted June 19, 2001 Share Posted June 19, 2001 You know... ((waits for groans to die down)) I really dislike my giganto-sig line. In fact, I used to scoff at people for even having them, but I keep accumulating stuff -- much in the same way that a closet or basement storage room becomes clogged with the detritus of existence, so my sig line is becoming clogged with the crap that I see and think "Oh this would be cool." So, Mr.Law Person you are as astute as usual, but rest assured that I am working on it. ((Hmm, the conan?-no. The squire?-maybe. The art?-never! The FAQ?-gotta keep it, just so I can call myself "threadmaster" if for no other reason. What a quandary...)) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted June 19, 2001 Share Posted June 19, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Bilgerat: The cowards true colours are revealed! Down with his flag of convenience and up with the tricolour. Only a Frenchman would stoop so low[/qb]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> No, no, no, Bilgerat! Pawbroon is French, and Shandorf is an Idiot. Thus, he is a citizen of the largest nation on earth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted June 19, 2001 Share Posted June 19, 2001 ***freezes at sound of Sir Seanachai's voice*** . . . ***waits for Sir Seanachai and BargingBrat to wander off*** . . . (whisperin) "Whew. That was close." . . . ***slips out the back door*** . . . to be continued Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PawBroon Posted June 19, 2001 Share Posted June 19, 2001 Now if you care to visit us someday BundledBrat you might set up an Idiot Embassy. We aren't too welcoming but it comes with the foreknowledge of who's more likely to visit. Now do us a favour and go to Germany instead. You'll see it's wonderfully choke full of people not French... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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