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Here's a PENNY NOW GO AWAY... A PANTIELESS PENG CHALLENGE THREAD.?


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Hey Foobar, How's it goin eh? (mandatory Canadianism). I just checked my sent folder, and as I thought, I already sent the bloody file, on June 9. What the hell do you do with the files, randomly delete them? this is like the fifth time you have claimed to be waiting for me to send a file, when it's YOUR turn. Just to stop your excused, I will sent the file AGAIN.

Hey., Wildspam, I heard you were enjoying visiting my hometown, and my contacts have confirmed frequent sightings of a strange person hanging around the girls locker rooms at the local junior high schools, so you have obviously figured out how to get off base. Want to have some fun?? Get a vehicle, find Highway 28 (turn left at the lights), and travel at high speed until you crest the hill and reach the end of the highway, and see how far out into Cold Lake you can get. The record is 140 metres, but he cheated and went off the end of the breakwater instead of the highway. I'm going to be up there in about two weeks, are you still going to be around? I might drop by and say hello if you are. Also, could you do me a favor and do something nasty to that Bofors that the air defence idiots placed at the gate, maybe do a Bauhaus on it.

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Roborat you HOSER, you actually lived here, eh? (pathetic Canadian) Actually I'm stuck in the frozen wasteland until the 30th of June. We finish up Maple Flag and then my squadron is staying around another week to fly against some of the other aircraft.

Right now I'm in St. Paul, with its one street light! How Canadian. And what the hell is up with printing English and French on every sign. I know that you have to put up with Quebec being in the same country, but to sanctify it with FRENCH. Good Lord, man, the French are worthless, beret wearing fairies who pretend to be lovers 'cause they sure aren't fighters. I'll be in Cold Lake proper after this weekend, so if your around post and we'll set a meeting time, perhaps in that small Quanset hut that sports the impressive sign of "Largest Billard Hall in Cold Lake!"

Canadians....who else would live up here!

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Wildman:

Right now I'm in St. Paul, with its one street light! How Canadian...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Yeah, but on Saturdays they bring in the really HOT strippers from Lac la Biche. And you thought plaid wasn't sexy... ;)

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Geeezus, Fancy Lad, some of us do have a life.

Anyway, by my calculation there has been $.81 cents wager in Fancy Lads challenge towards me. I ponder the playing of him. Do I have time? Will he be fun to play? Do I care?

As for his little ultimatum about me leaving if he beats me I have pondered this... How about this Fancy Lad? If I win you leave? And vice a versa.

So what do you say fluff boy? Care to put you panties where your mouth is?

[Note: I do this out of no loyalty to the pool or care for the denzens therein. I do this solely cause I wish no longer to read Fancy Lad's rambling post that have about as much presence and charm as a noisy refrigerator.]

Jeff

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Shandorf:

Care to put you panties where your mouth is?

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

An interesting question - it says something about the asker............more than we really need to know probably!

But then it does seem to be a tradition of the pool to share the deepest, darkest recesses of what ever passes for a mind.

I don't know why anyone bothers tho' - I mean who cares? No doubt there's a PhD* in abnormal psychology in here somewhere.

* = piled higher (and) deeper

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

I have thought long and hard on what needs to be done with Panzer Leader...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

How this could end in anything other than an obituary is a mystery to me. I kept reading, expecting at any minute to find "...so I killed him."

So Panzie has two daddies now. So be it. May his many punishments fit his many crimes.

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Well it was a fruitful (and a little fruity if you ask me) night last night. Not only did I get the touching and feeling words from our own questionably disposed Seanachai (more on this later) but I also finally managed to draw that maggot Handjob out of the bloated corpse of roadkill he calls Home. Good indeed.

Not only this, but my patron article of clothing, the most wondrous invention of modern textiles, the thing known simply as Panties are strewn across this thread like we are in the midst of a slumber party at an all-girls college.

And honestly, isn't that a dream of all of us (including you Emma?) After all, when more than three women are alone together, I am positive they lose the undergarments and engage in "tickle-fights."

And it is tickle-fighting that is sure to happen between Handjob and I. While my Aryan tide washes over his thinly deployed troops, they will suffer something known as the green apple quickstep. I foresee tham doing this, broken crews and all, all the way off the map edge. Prepeare yourself for a fight, kaniggett I will send a set-up tonight. As for wager, whatever, I am in no fear of losing.

Now, on to matters of greater import and deeper contemplation. I am bemused by Seanachai's proposal. Bemused on one level, excited on another, perplexed, confused, angrily shaking my fist at the sun while my other arm holds an effigy of the "Paladin" close to my heart.

On the one hand, to be squire to as noble and true-hearted knight as Seanachai is the dream of any squire. I would be the helpmeet to a liege who righted all wrongs, who defended the dames(els) against all scourges, and who even wore panties on his head.

In short he is...

Brave brave Sir Robin, Sir Robin the Brave

He came along to save the day

Than turned his tail and Ran away

Brave brave brave brave Sir Robin

The brave

To do so would be an honor. Oh and one other bonus: Emma would no longer be my half-sister, so a certain Taboo would no longer be in our way...

Now, the problems I see are many and varied. For one, an infidel, scoundrel, and lowlife known on these boards as Mrslnkr has somehow managed to throw the wool over Seanachai's eyes(wool panties perhaps?) and is now squire to the white-hatted cowboy. It is a disgrace, and I am sure all landed gentry here-abouts sees the evil that seeps from Mrslnker like sweat seeps from us, but Seanachai in his blind and charitable goodness has been unable to detect the callous disregard of this villain. Therefore, I could protect our shaky-handed and squint-eyed paladin in his time of need.

I also do not want to upset my sponsor Pawbroon, but since no one can understand him anyway, I don't see this as being much of a problem.

In short, in sum, and in tally, I will send you a set-up, Seanachai Would you care for a little 300 point foray between kubelwagens and jeeps? Perhaps a couple of bazooka's against a single tank?

I'll find something and ship it out to you tonight. You and Hanfjob these will be my most pressing matters this evening.

Thank you now go bump my FAQ

[ 06-18-2001: Message edited by: Panzer Leader ]

[ 06-18-2001: Message edited by: Panzer Leader ]

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

Now, the problems I see are many and varied. For one, an infidel, scoundrel, and lowlife known on these boards as Mrslnkr has somehow managed to throw the wool over Seanachai's eyes(wool panties perhaps?) and is now squire to the white-hatted cowboy. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Now panties, I don't pretend to be the most eloquent member of the Pool. I don't pretend to be the best player in the Pool. I don't even pretend to appreciate the finer points of various barnyard animals.

But one thing I do, is to understand who the members of the Pool are! Last week, you accused a long-term Knight of being a SSN, now you accuse MrSpkr of being newly minted a Squire.

I am begging you to go to the

Cesspool and study who's who. MrSpkr was accepted as a Squire before you showed up. In fact, I believe that you are still the most junior "squire" here.

Speedbump

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I just couldn't refrain by Panzer Leader:

Emma would no longer be my half-sister, so a certain Taboo would no longer be in our way...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Roight!

Now she'll kick you to no end to get your priorities right.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I also do not want to upset my sponsor PawBroon, but since no one can understand him anyway, I don't see this as being much of a problem.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Good riddance then!

I said a while back I'd Squire Seanachai instead.

While I'm at it, I'm Squiring Steve & Charles from BTS.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Thank you now go bump my FAQ<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

That's pitiful.

You're a disgrace.

Go do your things elsewhere!

And stop bumping my leg...

[ 06-18-2001: Message edited by: PawBroon ]

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

You and Shandorf, these will be my most pressing matters this evening.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I don't want any part of pressing your matter this evening. Go away.

As for you pathetic setup. Go ahead and send it. No tricks though panty-boy. I will be watching you. And when I do beat the snot out of you please shutup.

Jeff

[ 06-18-2001: Message edited by: jshandorf ]

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***MrSpkr shakes head slowly***

MrSpkr: mumbling "There's no place like home. There's no place like home.

*** several images flash by ***

<UL TYPE=SQUARE><LI>Mace chasing a sheep, yelling "I'll get you my pretty!"

MrSpkr: "There's no place like home."

<UL TYPE=SQUARE><LI>Wildman wearing plaid and drinking maple syrup.

MrSpkr: "There's no place like home."

<UL TYPE=SQUARE><LI>Lawyer stealing money from a blind beggar's cup.

MrSpkr: "There's no place like home."

<UL TYPE=SQUARE><LI>Peng ranting and spitting while he talks.

MrSpkr: "There's no place like home."

<UL TYPE=SQUARE><LI>Joe Shaw eating okra.

MrSpkr: "There's no place like home. There's no place like home."

***cut away to scene - MrSpkr is lying in bed, head on pillow with eyes closed. He begins to stir, opening his eyes***

MrSpkr: "-- there's no place like home -- there's no place like home --"

Seanachai: "Wake up lad."

MrSpkr: "there's no place like home. There's no place like home."

Seanachai: shaking MrSpkr violently: "Wake up lad! It's me - Sir Incoherent. Wake up!"

MrSpkr: ***opening eyes*** "Oh Confusing One! It's you!"

*** from stage right, Lawyer wanders by, holding a wallet ***

Lawyer: "Hello? Anybody home? I - I just dropped by because I feared the young lad got caught in the big . . ."

*** sees MrSpkr lying on bed ***

"Well. He, umm, left this wallet at the circus. Yeah, the circus."

***produces wallet, then drops it to the floor. As he picks it up, he palms three credit cards and a wad of cash***

"Glad to see he's okay, then."

***tosses wallet on the bed***

Seanachai: "We gave him, err, he had quite a bump on the head. For a while, we thought he was gonna leave us."

MrSpkr: "But I did leave you. I went to this place called Oklahoma -- that's just the trouble. And I tried to get back for days and days.”

YK2: There, there, lie quiet now. You've just had a bad dream.

MrSpkr: "No --"

Mace: "Don't you remember me -- your old pal Mace?"

Speedbump: "And me?"

MrSpkr: "No - but it wasn't a dream, it was a real place and you were there - you both were -"

***pointing at Mace***

"Only you were chasing a sheep and getting beat up by a six year old . . . And you"

***pointing at Speedbump***

"were there too! You kept grabbing your bottom and shouting 'I CAN TOO FIND IT WITH BOTH HANDS!' or something like that."

Lawyer: "Ohhh."

***others laugh***

YK2: "Now, now, MrSpkr. We dreams lots of silly things when we sleep and ----"

MrSpkr: No, YK2 -- this was a real, truly live place. And I remember that some of it wasn't very nice . . . like they thought a 28.8K modem was actually a real live internet connection . . .

***Camera shooting down past YK2 onto MrSpkr's face***

MrSpkr: . . . but most of it was beautiful - for example, Panties wasn't there, and neither was Dictatorial Thingie. But just the same, all I kept saying to everybody was, I want to go home. And they sent me home."

***A small black dog runs up on the bed and jumps into MrSpkr's arms***

MrSpkr: "Ack!"

***throws dog to floor where it vanishes in a flash of light and a puff of smoke***

MrSpkr: "Huh? Weird. Anyway, doesn't anyone believe me?"

Kitty: "Of course we believe you MrSpkr."

MrSpkr: "But anyway, I'm home! Home! And this is the Pool -- and you're all here! And I'm not going to leave here ever, ever again, because I loathe you all! And -- Oh, YK2 -- there's no place like home!"

YK2: "well, since you seem to be feeling a bit better again, we have a surprise for you . . ."

***Seanachai moves to center stage***

Seanachai: "We found this wandering around the backyard, whizzing on the begonias."

***drags in a smelly pile of rags and mangy fur. The pile moves, revealing Panties' face***

"We couldn't afford to have it put to sleep, so we decided to keep it for a while. It'll sleep down in the cat box ---"

MrSpkr: "But where will Rommel22 sleep? Why can't Pawbroon have it put down?"

***wisps of smoke begin to waft into view from offstage***

Seanachai: "Well, there's plenty of room for both of them to sleep in the cat box. It'll be okay, as long as Panties remembers to leave Rommel22 some of the crunchy bits."

MrSpkr: "What's that smell?"

YK2: "Well, we hadn't hosed him down yet . . ."

MrSpkr: "No, not that - that vague sulphur smell . . ."

***YK2 and Seanachai*** look at each other, grinning, then pull back latex masks to reveal two DEMONS. Berli walks into the room***

Berli: "Welcome, lad. You'll be here for a long time!"

***smoke drifts in heavier; sulphur becomes overpowering***

MrSpkr: "But where am I?"

Berli: "That tornado was a little worse than you thought. And Panties isn't a pet - he's your new half-brother."

***horror and realization flows across MrSpkr's face***

MrSpkr: "I didn't survive that tornado, did I?"

Berli: grinning "Now you're catching on!"

MrSpkr: "I knew I was in Hell the moment you mentioned Panties. Ah well. Does it have an Internet connection?"

Berli: "Why yes -- in fact, we just got a new, umm, service, last night."

MrSpkr: "Really?"

Berli: Yes - it used to be based in Oklahoma, but it was too slow for them.

MrSpkr: "NOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo......"

***fade to black***

[ 06-18-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ]

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To all Kannigets and others beneath mention, I have returned tanned rested and ready, and will sent files this evening.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jshandorf:

Riiioght! Who is poppin off the e-mail to that wine chap? I am much too eager to start adding to my "out-boarder stuffhead collection". It's right next to Marlow's stuffed ass since he hand that to me way back when I kicked it. I am already dusting off a place for Spock's ass when I get done kickin' it also...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Jefe, Jefe, Jefe, how soon you forget that it was I who first sent your posterior to the taxidermist (I still use it for a bicycle stand). If I understand your somewhat incoherent post correctly, you presume that your level of tactical mastery is superior to mine. It is true that subsequent to the severe butt-whoopin that I administered in our first game, that I had a temporary mental lapse in our second. The rubber game of our little match will be winging its way to you tonight.

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Now THAT's witty, Mr Spkr, and quite well done. Must be slow at work and home, eh?

When you arrived, I thought the sewer pipe had burst and spewed its noxious contents all over the dear Pool. Now, you are a valued relief to the constant postings of PL. Just when you think things can't get any lower...

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Okay, Handjob there won't be any funny stuff. Here are the parameters for you and all the world to see:

Axis Assault vs. Allied Defense

1,000 points

Weather Clear

Nov. '44

Time: Dawn (no planes - I hate planes)

Unrestricted Force (or combined arms, either way - chip in if you want combined)

Med. Hills

Med. Trees

Med. Map

Village

30 Turns

If you would like any of these parameters changed, just let me know. I have never in my time playing seen the Allies win a defense in a QB and would be very excited to see you do it. I recently got my own arse handed to me, lightly brazed with a pepper sauce while defending as the allies, so this is personal.

Actually, the personal part is that I think YOU are a pompous cockatrice and look forward to showing you that you are NOT the Muhammed Ali of Combat Mission.

Now, everyone knows that I have called out MrsPeeker as my mortal enemy, my arch-nemisis, so it is with great delight that I sway the doting love of his protectorate into my "truly honorable" squireship. It is with heavy heart that I bid Pawbroon Adieu for he has taught me alot in the ways of the French. (God I hate the french. Th only thing worse is French Canadians. That is like the worst of BOTH worlds.)

And so I begin on a new road down the paths of the Peng Challenge Thread. I can't wait to meet you all along the road of this blighted land.

Oh and Seanachai I will send you a nice little engagement this even-tide. Something simple and silly.

Thanks now bump my FAQ!

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

Monsieur Pawbroon Maybe I could squire you? Or we could squire each other? Ooo, I tell you what, lets get Y2K in and WE'LL ALL SQUIRE EACH OTHER!

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I do not think that word means what you think it means.

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

Okay, Shandorf there won't be any funny stuff. [How incredibly true this statement is! -jeff] Here are the parameters for you and all the world to see:

Axis Assault vs. Allied Defense

1,000 points

Weather Clear

Nov. '44

Time: Dawn (no planes - I hate planes)

Unrestricted Force (or combined arms, either way - chip in if you want combined)

Med. Hills

Med. Trees

Med. Map

Village

30 Turns

If you would like any of these parameters changed[sNIP]

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hell ya! 1,000 points with a medium map? Geez.. why don't we play a large map so I can fully immerse myself into your little game of hide and seek with tanks and pointy things.

If you want to play a medium map bump the points up to 1,500 and I'll play along. Otherwise go play in traffic.

Oh yeah, and make it combined arms since I trust your "historical" picking about as much as I would trust my retard cousin with a loaded shotgun and his "playful" curiousity.

Oh and make sure WE can pick our own forces...

So, you have NEVER seen the allies win on defense? Ask Berli if he has ever seen the same. IIRC he's had first hand experience in getting his arse handed to him in lunch box by the allies on defense.

Jeff

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sigh… Let instruction begin selects heavy, braided swagger stick, and begins cuts at Panzer Leaders shoulders, back, and head

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

… but I also finally managed to draw that maggot Handjob out of the bloated corpse of roadkill he calls Home. Good indeed.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Sexually explicit mutations of other members user names Thwack! Thwack! Thwock! is not witty, Thwack! nor particularly funny Thwack!, and is not permitted for Squires Smack!, or at least not Squires who are on probation, such as your worthless Zwack! self, even regarding a nasty little ferret like Shandorf! Crack!

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>And honestly, isn't that a dream of all of us (including you Emma?) After all, when more than three women are alone together, I am positive they lose the undergarments and engage in "tickle-fights."…

… To do so would be an honor. Oh and one other bonus: Emma would no longer be my half-sister, so a certain Taboo would no longer be in our way...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

THWACK! THWACK! THWACK!

A gentleman and Knight does not sully the name of a lady! WHACK! And you, toad, are not ever again to sully the name of Emma, CRACK! and of course any mention by you, of any sort, is inherently polluting Thwack!, so at this point you will remove the very concept of Emma CRACK! from the pit of filth and despair that is what passes Thwack! for your mind Thwack!.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Now, on to matters of greater import and deeper contemplation. I am bemused by Seanachai's proposal. Bemused on one level, excited on another, perplexed, confused, angrily shaking my fist at the sun while my other arm holds an effigy of the "Paladin" close to my heart.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

It is this lack of ‘focus’ Thwack! and fuzzy-headed stupidity Crack! that keeps getting you into trouble. Your only emotional Thwack! or mental Thwack! response, and I use the term ‘mental’ in a very fast and loose manner, you preeminently subnormal little git, Zwack! is to feel grateful and then Crack! fall silent.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Brave brave Sir Robin, Sir Robin the Brave

He came along to save the day

Than turned his tail and Ran away

Brave brave brave brave Sir Robin

The brave<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Thwack! Thwack! Thwack!

Quoting Monty Python is a time honoured activity here in the Eternal Peng Challenge Thread. However, you suck at it, and are not Thwack! yet considered worthy Swack! to do so.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>…and I am sure all landed gentry here-abouts sees the evil that seeps from Mrslnker like sweat seeps from us, but Seanachai in his blind and charitable goodness has been unable to detect the callous disregard of this villain. Therefore, I could protect our shaky-handed and squint-eyed paladin in his time of need.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

CRACK!

Mr. Spkr, as useless as he can sometimes be, has yet occasionally amused myself and others here Thwack!, which so far, Thwack! you have failed to do. Crack!

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I also do not want to upset my sponsor Pawbroon, but since no one can understand him anyway, I don't see this as being much of a problem<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

OF COURSE THWACK! YOU do not understand Pawbroon, CRACK! as the sum total of things you do not understand CRACK! WOULD FILL WHOLE LIBRARIES! TWHACK! THWACK! THWACK!

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Thank you now go bump my FAQ<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Bump you FAQ?! I shall cudgel your entire frame and being repeatedly, fellow-me-lad, until you are worthy of asking anyone here to do anything.

[ 06-18-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

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Will do Shedwarf! 1,500 points on a medium map. Faster to get to the VLs is my opinion!

As for combined arms, I offered unrestricted so that you could load up on 6 pounders or whatever it is the Allies like to shoot with. I am VERY happy with combined arms. You will be watching the steamroller of the 21st Panzergrenadier division, recently outfitted with the latest and greatest.

I will see you on the battlefield!

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

...Zwack!....<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Please -- and by "please" I mean "knock it off you celtic scone!" -- desist in any further mentions of that most-disgusting Hungarian aperitif. It's mere existance somewhere on this planet somehow taints (bauhaus, back on the floor...) all other forms of hooch to be had.

And mentioning "crack" over and over only makes Lawyer dream back on his days as Mayor Berry's valet... best use some other alliteratives.

And, no, you don't really have to take that bridge... in fact my logistics will be vastly simplified if you do not. But still, shooting medical personel does contravene several of the Rules of War; but then so does your People's habit of coming to the battle wearing only your woad.

*insert E. Fudd joke here*

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I have bought my forces and fired the file away to Shandemann. Since he asked for historicity, I based my forces on the counter attack of the 21st Panzer Division, rece bat. commanded by Col. Hans Von Luck in either Caen or Calais -- I can't remember right now. It might even have been during Falaise -- yes, I think that's what it was...

Of course, Luck had more tanks than "combined arms" allowed, but, I am no "Panzer Commander" I am the Panzer Leader!

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>

I just couldn't refrain by Panzer Leader:

Emma would no longer be my half-sister, so a certain Taboo would no longer be in our way...

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Originally posted by PawBroon: <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>

Roight!

Now she'll kick you to no end to get your priorities right.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I did consider it, but then decided it would be both a waste of time and energy trying to get through to PL, anyway now that he has had a beating from Seanachoochiecoo he could well see the error of his ways....

And pigs might fly.........

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