Peng Challenge Thread - From Barbarous to Boring

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Nonsense and fiddledeepoop, I don't have to listen to any more of your LIES ... {Joe holds hands over ears and starts humming loudly}

Joe<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I NEVER LIE!

(now there is a paradox right out of Star Trek)

[Mark IV]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

[QB]... lost all his armor to crappy Mk IVs (and we all know what a useless sod he is). [QB]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well. Those would be the crappy MkIVs that rolled over France, chased the British back to England, ruled the desert, and rolled the Russkis back to Moscow, wouldn't they?

Competently commanded, the PzIV holds its own in CMBO, in a pre-war design, no less. The 8000 or so produced seem to have caused the 49,000 Shermans produced some fits. I think there were some T-34s in the war as well.

But if I had reported to the Navy, I would be fuzzy on tank stuff, too.

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mark IV:

Well. Those would be the crappy MkIVs that rolled over France, chased the British back to England, ruled the desert, and rolled the Russkis back to Moscow, wouldn't they?

Competently commanded, the PzIV holds its own in CMBO, in a pre-war design, no less. The 8000 or so produced seem to have caused the 49,000 Shermans produced some fits. I think there were some T-34s in the war as well.

But if I had reported to the Navy, I would be fuzzy on tank stuff, too.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

WHAT! You dare post grog like things here! A Kangaroo court for you m'boy (and with all those useless wanks from Oz, we shouldn't have much trouble finding the 'roos to judge you)

[CMplayer]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Buzzsaw:

MrSpkr

If you place two of us side-by-side, it may be necessary to prod us with pointy sticks before we begin fighting. Left to our own devices, we tend to do a lot of standing around and drooling.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well isn't this Fuzzpaw so cutely self

effacing! Why don't you put yourself side

by side with me. I'll do the poking

with sharp sticks, and you can take care

of the drooling bit.

[CMplayer]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stixx:

Well good luck. A$ (Australian Dollars) are quiet lite and i reckon you couldn't kick em any further than you could kick any Aussie CMer.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

This guy is definitely worth playing!

He dies cheerfully.

[Stixx]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by CMplayer:

This guy is definitely worth playing!

He dies cheerfully.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

:mad: <-------

[CMplayer]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stixx:

:mad: <------- <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Speaking of smileys, what the heck

is this one ----> supposed to mean?

It looks like something that's probably still

illegal in the State of Utah.

[ 08-20-2001: Message edited by: CMplayer ]

[MrPeng]

MrStixx and MrCMWanker:

Kindly take your smilies and stuff them in a sack. Better yet, why don't both of you just keel over. If you are unable to find the words that emoticons represent, you are not worthy to post in the MBT.

How pathetic that the "INSTANT Graemlins" now do not even require the user to understand what they are supposed to represent. The red face and open mouth are supposed to be "embarrassment" Prior to the "IGs" one at least had to write the word between two colons so one at least knew what one was trying to represent to the reader.

Now we have removed the smiley another step from its meaning, spread the writer and reader farther from the meaning and made it just so appallingly dumb that one despairs of what will happen to the rich and varied language we call English.

DAMN YOU, BALDY! THIS IS YOUR WORK. Smiley promoting swine.

Peng

[CMplayer]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrPeng:

The red face and open mouth are supposed to be "embarrassment" <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oh! And I thought it meant...

I'm so, so....

[Stixx]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrPeng:

MrStixx and MrCMWanker:

If you are unable to find the words that emoticons represent, you are not worthy to post in the MBT.

Peng<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Looks like someone is "In touch with his femenine side"

Or maybe he is just a "Sensitive New Age Guy"

[Buzzsaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by CMplayer:

Well isn't this Fuzzpaw so cutely self

effacing! Why don't you put yourself side

by side with me. I'll do the poking

with sharp sticks, and you can take care

of the drooling bit.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I'm still waiting for the pointy stick. So far it's just your inane screen name that makes me want to mop the map with your soldier's carcasses, and I'll need a few more reasons.

Are you the player who poked me with the pointy end of two Cromwells in a TCP/IP game a week or two ago? Revenge is always a fine motivator, however, proper taunting must be observed first, and calling me self-effacing just won't suffice. Frankly, at this point, I feel as if I'm standing side-by-side with a pile my own dirty laundry. It smells, and I really should do something about it, but I can safely ignore it for a few days.

[Herr Oberst]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stixx:

Looks like someone is "In touch with his femenine side"

Or maybe he is just a "Sensitive New Age Guy"<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

*sniff* *sniff*

Someone smell something? Smells like a stinkin newbie, a youngling who knows nothing but his mothers petticoats to hide behind.

Who in the 'Pool does not know of MrPeng's Great Patriotic War to rid the world of smilies? There is no feminine side to MrPeng. A brief visit to Lorak's site (the only worthwhile contribution to society on Lorak's part during his lifetime) will show you MrPeng's visage. (Oh, and you can stop by to see Fraulein OberGruppenStompinMitDerBoots Kitty's photo as well. Miiiaaaaooooo.)

Enough about others. All we can await, in our infinite displeasure, is the evolution of this Stixx SSN into something more advanced and worthy of something larger than these few scant moments of attention.

Perhaps his taunts will evolve into something called Stixx & Stones. Still the minimalist approach and well below the radar in terms of deserving response, but an improvement nonetheless. Then it will only take another few thousands of years of development (or months in CessPool time) until he makes it to CessPool levels.

Until then... Pfffttt!

[ 08-20-2001: Message edited by: Herr Oberst ]

[CMplayer]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Buzzsaw:

I can safely ignore it for a few days.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Did you say ignore? What a good idea.

[Panzer Leader]

A lot of Stinking Suck-up Non-Entities have the audacity to poke fun at Little Buddy's name. Have you seen your own asinine nember namews, bub?

Tell me, Stixx, how do you pronounce that "double X"? Are there any other words in the English Language with a double X, or ANY language for that matter? Are you named after a fagot, or bundle of sticks? Are you named after the "Arena-rock" band Styx? Why not go ahead and use the 'Y', you've already got two 'x's...

Or perhaps your named after what happens every time you try and get up off the couch.

Buzzsaw.

Whaddya a G.I. Joe action figure?? Gimme a break. Go Joe!

Juardis. Wo knows, sounds foriegn or somefink.

Man I tell ya, it seems like each SSN has a name worse, less imaginative, and closer to L33T DUUDZ than the last.

I think I might abandon Panzer Leader and start using Sancho Panza all the time. At least that name has something all these SSNs lack...character.

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Speaking of smileys, what the heck

is this one ----> supposed to mean?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Whoa! Talk about your rookie mistakes, posting a smiley, any smiley on the Peng Challenge thread is ... well, DUMB!

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>It looks like something that's probably still illegal in the State of Utah.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Well, DUH! The State of Utah would regulate oxygen if it could because too much can make you giddy.

Only in Utah do find the spectacle of a Liquor Control Commission that has NOT ONE drinker on board or an Official State Pornography Czar who is a 40 something VIRGIN!

One community made it illegal to buy a single bottle of beer in a convenience store as that was proof positive that it would be drunk in the car, so now you are required to buy a whole six pack and REALLY get plowed.

At one time the Legislature voted to ban "R" rated movies ON CABLE TV but voted against child restraint seats because it would be too much governmental interferance in private lives.

And YOU think something MIGHT be illegal in Utah ... DOLT!

Joe

[PawBroon]

Bowed over the keyboard, displaying his usual amount of obnoxious penmanship, Senility was about to post again.

The raging Thrust (sit down Bauhaus) of his chubby fingers flooding the MBT with what could have been better summed up with a simple “Where’s Marcel?” by any of us Elders.

{[Needless to say, not only can I ask “Where’s Marcel?” as well as any other bloke around here save for Pembelitos but I could also answer it (the answer being, I’m on holidays you dork!)]}.

Having the double dubious advantage of being both a Yank and an American, Seanachai was in turmoil…

Now where’s The French?

How could one who dispatched so diligently my armoUr (U added as in Pearl HarboUr for the benefit of the likes of Fair Emma and Glenn Aitken) vanish soon thereafter?

If ZeBroom is gone then behold the joyful if somewhat unadulterated lust of mine that I’m to unleash on Fair Emma.

It will be of Biblical proportion!

Well, err, not Biblical as in Sodom and Gomorrah for I am not that French mind you…

Neither would it be Biblical as with that locust plague the Outer Boarders had to toy with.

I’m not sure about the locusts though, it could well have been #176 or Barbara Streisand for all I care…

So Emma, have you forced Marcel to give you Sweet Lovin’ an absurd amount of time speeding his urge to quit?

{Editor’s Note: Absurd amount of Sweet Lovin’ being around 27 for the average Frog, peer reviewed by the INSEE, penetration value and iconography by Rexford}.

If so, could you be so nice and let go of his by now dehydrated contraption and have him click on some other buttons to crank up those turns he owes most of us?

Unless it is the soon to be displayed Asterisk of Shame that Peng is about to inflict on Marcel with the same stunning power as personal hygiene.

Of course, I’m told he was using simple grunts and M20s against warring SS and assorted Stugs and Hetzers but that’s beside the point and as CoolDeadMan would say: “You Poolers are gamey Sons of a Code Cheat! Now tell me if mortars are the same as fighter bombers?!

But I’m digressing…

Or maybe not, Am I being just me?

So, have I asked where Marcel was already?

Oh boy! Do I miss the little twit…

Marcel, man to man, as a French, do you pluck your eyebrows?

[Buzzsaw]

MrPeng

Its a sad day when another one of these shows up in the Cesspool

That's right, a disabled smilie -- an escapee from your laboratory. He has been knee-capped and his tongue has been cut out, and yet he managed to escape and is still bravely smiling.

I, for one, find this horrifying! Your security is obviously far too lax, and your procedures wholly inadequate. To allow a smilie, even a maimed one, to escapee from your lab is inexcusable. Perhaps you would like to visit my institute, where we have been breaking smilies into their basic parts, and putting those parts to good use in grammatically correct (more or less) English sentences. You will find the body parts of several smilies put to use as periods and parentheses in this very post.

I am sure that, as the preeminent researcher in our field of study, you will quickly reform for practices, and that we can look forward to your positive contribution to the science of smilie eradication.

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>The raging Thrust (sit down Bauhaus) of his chubby fingers flooding the MBT with what could have been better summed up with a simple “Where’s Marcel?” by any of us Elders. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> HEY Back OFF Eifel BOY! Don't be going around claiming to be an Elder if by that you mean OLD ONE! If I'M not an Old One than you sure as HELL aren't, Mister Member Number 1500 some odd. If you meant Elder as in Old, Used Up, Worn Out, Decrepit and Damn Near Senile ... okay then I'll agree that you're an elder.

Damned French don't know their place, you're right MrSpkr, Goobers ... each and every one.

Joe

[Herr Oberst]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PawBroon:

Bowed over the keyboard, ... more infernal yapping... eyebrows?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Now that bloody Frog is indeed insane... it must have been the combination of his Frenchiness, an enormous national guilt complex, and his playing of CM that did it to him. The fact that an Ami waltzed off with the Tour de France victory again might have contributed to it as well. The poor Frenchies just haven't been the same since Eric Heyden squashed Laurent Fingnon in the final leg those years ago...

[ 08-20-2001: Message edited by: Herr Oberst ]

[MrSpkr]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Damned French don't know their place, you're right MrSpkr, Goobers ... each and every one.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I TOLD you! Now hurry up and send me a turn. The incessant French prattling:

"Where iss zee bathroom?"

"Mon dieu -- he iss shooting at us!"

"I do not stink as much if I put on zee parfume."

"What is zis 'soap' thing you speak of, Monsieur?"

is driving me batty. Heck, why do you think I am ENJOYING the 'shell your own troops' rule of this scenario?

Send a turn so my troops can die like Frenchmen!*

.

.

.

*: In other words, cowering in the back of some abandoned farmhouse, collapsing with fright at the sound of popguns and praying those mean old Germans won't come pester them a fourth time!

[ 08-20-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ]

[Juardis]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

A lot of Stinking Suck-up Non-Entities have the audacity to poke fun at Little Buddy's name. Have you seen your own asinine nember namews, bub?

Juardis. Wo knows, sounds foriegn or somefink.

Man I tell ya, it seems like each SSN has a name worse, less imaginative, and closer to L33T DUUDZ than the last.

I think I might abandon Panzer Leader and start using Sancho Panza all the time. At least that name has something all these SSNs lack...character.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

It has been brought to my attention that you are an idiot. Hence, I will forgive your trespasses, for I, the great and glorious Juardis T. (Ernest T.'s 5th cousin on his mothers side), am a high ranking piss boy and therefore am waaaay above mention in the same post as Gilligan and his pet snake Sticks. And if you insist on including me in the same classification, then I shall be forced to read poetry to you until your large intestine decides to take mercy upon your poor soul and eject itself forcefully from your lower orifice only to wrap itself around your neck, choking you on your own ****e.

[CMplayer]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

The State of Utah would...

Only in Utah...

At one time the Legislature...

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

And you were looking abroad, to France

and Sweden, for Goober nations? Sounds

like a case of crossing the river to fetch

water.

[ 08-20-2001: Message edited by: CMplayer ]

[MrSpkr]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by CMplayer:

And you were looking abroad, to France

and Sweden, for Goober nations? Sounds

like a case of crossing the river to fetch

water.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hey - He can't talk that way about Utah!

Only WE can talk that way about Utah!

Besides, everyone knows that Sweden only exists to provide low cost pornography for the brave French soldiers hiding in the basements from le Boche.

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>And you were looking abroad, to France

and Sweden, for Goober nations?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> American STATES <> NATIONS and I think the tone of my post made my opinion of Utah clear.

A very weak effort I'm afraid, lad. You'll have to do better to acheive Serf. Speaking of Serfs, I'm gaining a BIT more confidence that the promotion of Jar O'P*ss to Serf was the right move.

And now for something completely different ... GAME UPDATES:

Berli, with the conniving assistance of the scenario "designed" by Peng is winning, probably handily, in this foregone conclusion. Oh he'll claim great tactical prowress, but his decisions were pretty much limited to pressing GO. I give him credit for being able to accomplish that.

jd ... let's face it, got lucky. My brilliant flanking movement failed only because his tanks hit more often than mine did. Mind you he hasn't a lot left on that flank and my boys are still in position to win this one. He did, I'll give him credit, pull off a lovely infantry ambush ... for which he'll pay handsomely.

Agua Perdido is presumably still working in a windowless cubicle in Hawaii ... right.

Mace, with the conniving assistance of a horrid scenario created by Goanna, is taking absolutely forever to make a move. I suspect that his glacial pace is influenced by the amount of snow in the scenario.

Mensch has yet to expose a single one of his troops and my lads have reached the treeline without casualty. He had his chance, he blew it, too bad.

Moriarty also seems to have been disheartened by the loss of HIS only exposed unit, a MG Jeep that was promptly targetted by ... well pretty much EVERYONE. I'm waiting for his turn.

MrSpkr and I have just launched our German vs. Goober battle, too early to tell but I predict that one of us will win ... or there'll be a draw.

Bauhaus is striving mightly to make some progress against (a) the snow and ( my forces ... without much progress in either case. He seems to think that his KTs will win the battle all by themselves, which they might ... if they EVER get within 100m of a VL.

Seanachai is attacking and is, so far, taking the worst of it. He is closing in however, and it's still fairly early.

Goanna is ... a Dead Man Walking ... and he knows it but won't admit it. While I normally don't crow about trivial things like victories, it is important to note the complete and overwhelming success of my troops in this meeting engagement.

I show that I am UP TO DATE with all my turns, so if you're missing one let me know and I'll try to care.

OH and Peng CLAIMS that he's forwarded his troop requests to Mensch for placement ... right.

Joe

{edited to add the obligatory "Peng is an idiot who can't be trusted" statement.}

[ 08-20-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]

[CMplayer]

Juandice, at his 4000 watt illuminated

make-up mirror, crowned in a homemade wreath

of laurels, tortures his keyboard into

producing the following, then croons it

through a tube driven echoplex-440 effect

box:

[swooshy echo noises on]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> I shall be forced to read poetry to you until your large intestine decides to take mercy upon your poor soul and eject itself forcefully from your lower orifice only to wrap itself around your neck, choking you on your own ****e.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

[/swooshy echo noises]

My good Sir!

Was that last bit meant as an example of

said poetry? I don't doubt it would have,

the intended effect, and the self referential

paradox is almost worthy of Borges. Keep

up the good work, foster your talent, and let

nothing get between you and your vocation!

Oh, and congratulations on your recent

promotion to serf. Life smiles upon you

like a golden shower. Please remember to

let a few reflected beams of glory fall

to the lot of

your most humble servant,

--Rett

[ 08-20-2001: Message edited by: CMplayer ]