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A Thousand Points of Peng, A Kindler, More Gentler Cess


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Ah, well, and yet another incarnation of the eternal Peng Challenge Thread. Many ages ago, when many of the current posters were still wee tykes bashing Grogs over the head for space in which to post mind numbingly odd threads obsessively concerned with equipment/unit behaviour, and what it all meant to them personally, I began a simple thread to challenge Mr. Peng to a PBEM. We were both younger, then, and our strength was green. As with any epic battle between idjits, or as with any battle between epic idjits, it quickly drew an interested crowd of laughing and drooling halfwits, most of whom stayed on to become the mighty force that is the Peng Challenge Thread. Over time, others joined, and, well, the rest is a rather sordid history.

Now, in these modern days of well-managed and regulated threads, the Peng Challenge Thread must undergo frequent new beginnings. And someone has to start them anew. Now, like driving after leaving a bar, this is not a job that should be given to the person who actually wants it. Anyone who actually wants to start up the Thread, just like anyone who says they want to drive everyone else home, is obviously incapable and most likely poses a danger to themselves and everyone else around them. This principle also applies to politics, where any man who wants to hold high political office is most likely a power hungry lunatic who shouldn't be trusted to lug buckets of offal to feed zoo animals. Any well run polity would find some poor sod standing in a field somewhere admiring the stars, ask him if he wanted to be the Supreme Leader, and when he emphatically stated no, force him to take the job.

In this way, the Peng Challenge Thread would be best served by forcing someone who wants absolutely nothing to do with it to start it each time. There are difficulties with this, of course, so what normally happens is that I restart it. Why? Because of tradition. Here in the Peng Challenge Thread, we are all about our traditions, many of which are being created even as you read this.

Now, many will notice that the Peng Challenge Thread is getting...well, shallower. Now, by that I don't mean less intellectual (clearly an impossibility), but less damp, muddy, and fetid. The truth is, so much posting has gone on that we have basically filled in the cesspool. These days, the Thread is more like a recently reclaimed wetlands area. By the end of the year, we will probably be posting on a range of low lying hills.

That said, go about the business of taunting, boasting, saber-rattling, and PBEMing, as well as general madness and erudite posting for which this Thread is so rightly known. Oh, and for the occassional jolly sing-song. Mustn't forget the sing-songs, as they are the best part. Have fun, lads and lassies, and remember, Peng, Berli, and I will be waiting for you.

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Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties,

Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices!

But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli,

All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother!

We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more,

We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues

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Hehehe. I just finished writing my response to Mace + Stuka and I try to post it: MattAttack!!! He locked it before I could click! So here it is:

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace:

Phew!

Our date tonight still on, Stuka honey?

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

grrrr grrRRR GRRRR!!! I won't play second fiddle to Stuka!!! IT'S OVER, MACE!!! >=(

To ease my grief I hereby add three more members and a token midget to my towel boy squad.

1. Clint Eastwood at about the same age as he was in "Magnum Force."

2. Steve McQueen circa 1970.

3. The "Cool Hand Luke" era Paul Newman

Kitty's Honorary Midget: Al Pacino

Kitty

------------------

Hamsters at War!

Chicks With Tanks

Lorak's FTX

"I'd rather the Bees than your Mask of Shame." - Stuka

The True Blue Aussie Slang Source

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Last post of previous Peng iteration, by the one, the only Madmatt:

Have fun, call Mace a sheeploving godless sycophant with the agragate tactical skills of a speckle of unwashed lint retrieved from the navel of an 8 week old Scientologist corpse but do so in a polite way

Thats all we ask...

Madmatt<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well, I guess I now know where I fit in the scheme of things! smile.gif

Are we required to wear tuxedos, and the ladies evening dresses, in the new thread?

Cheerio chaps!

Mace

[This message has been edited by Mace (edited 01-22-2001).]

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Guest Der Unbekannte Jäger

The pools about to be diluted a wee bit.

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"'S muladach ma theid ar sgaoileadh..." -Duncan Ban Macintyre

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Der Unbekannte Jäger:

The pools about to be diluted a wee bit.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

The 'Pool had been diluted by an excess of effluent. The 'Pool is about to return to its normal strength of vitriol.

------------------

Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties,

Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices!

But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli,

All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother!

We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more,

We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Rob/1:

anther new Pang thread...how many is that now 5 or 100.

Rob<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

6, Rob, but I'm the only one who's counting. One Hundred soon. wink.gif

------------------

Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties,

Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices!

But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli,

All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother!

We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more,

We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Kitty:

grrrr grrRRR GRRRR!!! I won't play second fiddle to Stuka!!! IT'S OVER, MACE!!! >=(

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

eek.gif

I had no intention of having you play second fiddle to anyone, Kitty! I was more planning to have you on lead guitar! wink.gif

Mace

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Well... The Pool has once again been reborn. Risen form the ashes to flap its way over the forum and grant all of us a new home, a small hovel to protect us from the rising winds.

Now for some more crazy words, from the teachings of the Lorak:

There are two plans - there are two agendas - going on in the world. There is a plan going on by those who wish to manipulate you, and there is a plan that is going on by the CessPool herself. And the plan by the Cesspool has never been beaten. Our very genetics, Our very DNA is waking up to sounds that are coming from the Pool. We have literally birthed a new universe and now you are calling it unto yourselves? So, you're going to be going through a lot of changes because of this. Your electro-magnetic fields are changing, and your chemistry will change in accordance to it. Your hormones will flow in a different manner. You'll be experiencing thoughts that you never had before. You'll be experiencing emotions that you have never had, because in many ways, it's like the chicken coming out of the egg. You can no longer restrain what you are going to become.

Thus it always is when you enter the Pool...

For now and always....

Lorak the Loathed

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"Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking."--William Butler Yeats

Cesspool

Combatmissionclub

Lorak's FTX

and for Kitty's sake

=^..^=

[This message has been edited by Lorak (edited 01-22-2001).]

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Guest Der Unbekannte Jäger

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Maximus:

You're all a bunch of sons of a motherless goat!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Who pray tell was the father are you proposing?

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"'S muladach ma theid ar sgaoileadh..." -Duncan Ban Macintyre

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Umm... I decided to give a little test today in the cesspool. Of course it is obscure, being that it, too, comes from the teachings of the Lorak.

Now.. Since we have several History buffs, well read people, and some grogs (we just don't call them that.

I offer you this picture.

peace.gif

My question. Does anyone here know where this symbol comes from?

Lorak the loathed

------------------

"Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking."--William Butler Yeats

Cesspool

Combatmissionclub

Lorak's FTX

and for Kitty's sake

=^..^=

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Ah am so moved by all the love that I feel here tonight. So strong is the love Ah am feelin' that Ah have decided, after 4 days of spiritual council and healing, and upon the insistence of mah family and investment advisors, that Ah will rejoin the 'Pool.

So Ah tell you all:

Up with 'Cess

Down with mess

Keep Peng alive. Keep Peng alive. Stay out of the Meekses. And Ah will not rest until every post counts.

Thank you all so very much for your kindness and love, especially you over there in that hot little miniskirt. See me in mah hotel room after the service.

I would like to close with the words of a famous man whose last name is Jackson:

Billy Jean's not my lover

She's just a girl who thinks Ah am the one.

Jan is not my son

Thank you all. Donations will be accepted.

Rev. Professor Doktor Hamster X

Chairman, Operation Hamster

CEO, Rodent Coalition

Host of RNN's Sawdust Roundtable

Generalissimo and President-for-Life, Hamster Liberation Front

1-800 HAMSTER

Ahm going to go to Kitty-town and rustle me up some votesâ„¢

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lorak:

Your hormones will flow in a different manner. You'll be experiencing thoughts that you never had before. You'll be experiencing emotions that you have never had, because in many ways, it's like the chicken coming out of the egg. You can no longer restrain what you are going to become.

Thus it always is when you enter the Pool...

For now and always....

Lorak the Loathed

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

What a bloody relief. Does this mean I'll no longer wake from muzzy, incoherent Jane Austen oriented dreams about Emma, and finally take comfort in the fact that Croda and Marlow are posting in a witty manner? 'Tis a consummation devoutly to be wished for...well, perhaps not as much as the previous ones, but I'd still like to see these lads doing yeoman's duty, and smiling and waving from the Peng Challenge Thread Post Float in the parade...or is that another strange dream?

------------------

Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties,

Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices!

But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli,

All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother!

We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more,

We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues

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Guest Der Unbekannte Jäger

I do not think that I would like to be a permanent edition to the pool, and I doubt it would have me, so hence I was wondering if a pooler would be willing to play me a PBEM game? I have not had the fortune of playing another person yet and I would like to see what its like (I am tired of losing to the AI).

I ask for a game here because you poolers IMHO have by far the most experience in multiplay and I figure that I can learn greatly from a defeat from such experienced hands such as one of your number.

If you would be willing to grace my humble personage with a game I will be eternally grateful. My email address in in my profile.

Thank you for your time. smile.gif

------------------

"'S muladach ma theid ar sgaoileadh..." -Duncan Ban Macintyre

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Well now, Meeks is out, and Kurtz back in. How the fickle winds of fate do blow. Anyway, assuming my dimwitted charges can actually find there way here, instead of continually hitting the refresh button while in the locked thread, it is time to continue the CM Smackdown between RatTurd and WildThang. That’s right boys and girls, the Duel in the Pool round 2 (and 3).

[Ratboy and WildMook approach the center of the ring – DING, DING]

On the West side of the Crossroads Ratboy opens with a 37mm across the Marder. That had to hurt. Mildman responds with a quick jab to the MG Jeep. Rat takes the shot without blinking. Some more pathetic and ineffective fire is about it for this side of the battle. On MG Jeep takes off like a bat out of Berli’s in what can charitably be viewed as a recon to the north of the Crossroads where it runs smack dab into the some things with big guns moving south towards the battle. Not good for the Cav. Troopers.

Meanwhile, a couple of MG bunkers are reduced by fire from the American tanks sitting to the southwest.

To the south of the Crossroads, Rat’s mounted troopers jump out of their tracks, and right into some fire from the rear thanks to the Jerries that they raced past last turn. Fire also erupts from their front, and, caught in a crossfire, the G.I.s don’t know whether to crap or go blind. A second platoon of tracks with infantry aboard go racing past, strait towards the Crossroads VL. A big smity gun opens up and turns one track into so much scrap metal. I hate when that happens. The prognosis doesn’t look good for the rest of the platoon. The gun is about to fire again when ….

[DING, DING]

Well folks, that’s it for rounds two and three in this scrap. The judges unanimously give the round to Mildman. The loss of the Marder hurt, but we knew that was going to happen at the end of round one. He gets the round because Ratboy has two mech platoons in a bad spot.

Stay tuned.

------------------

This message brought to you by

Marlow's Salvage and Wrecking Service,

Proud Sponsor of The Cesspool

formerly The 'Meeks currently exists as Polar Bear excrement' Memorial Thread

[This message has been edited by Marlow (edited 01-22-2001).]

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Ahh Lorak, Keeper of the sacred runes please note the debased topplement of Meeks. Seems his cd has gone aft aglay is his reason now for surrendering. Either that or the fact I had locked him into playing the French! I have accepted his sword (after disinfecting) as we had progressed to a point that (judging by the targeting lines) the outcome was not in doubt.

Therefore:

jd defender of truth, justice and retainers - Win

Elijah (an unrecognized prophet - with good reason) - Loss

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If frogs had uzi's, snakes woudn't mess with them so much. - Hiram

[This message has been edited by jd (edited 01-22-2001).]

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Kinder? GENTLER?! BAH! FEH! I won't have it in the house. Bugger off, you lot. I'm going to hone my hatred in quiet, irritated solitude and you can reach me by mail or carrier pigeon if you must. Kinder gentler thread indeed. Phooey.

Peng

------------------

"I hope a bucket of nails falls on your head..."

Hamsters/Meeks(!)

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrPeng:

Kinder? GENTLER?! BAH! FEH! I won't have it in the house. Bugger off, you lot. I'm going to hone my hatred in quiet, irritated solitude and you can reach me by mail or carrier pigeon if you must. Kinder gentler thread indeed. Phooey.

Peng

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Did the pool just get warmer?

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Der Unbekannte Jäger:

I do not think that I would like to be a permanent edition to the pool, and I doubt it would have me, so hence I was wondering if a pooler would be willing to play me a PBEM game? I have not had the fortune of playing another person yet and I would like to see what its like (I am tired of losing to the AI).

I ask for a game here because you poolers IMHO have by far the most experience in multiplay and I figure that I can learn greatly from a defeat from such experienced hands such as one of your number.

If you would be willing to grace my humble personage with a game I will be eternally grateful. My email address in in my profile.

Thank you for your time. smile.gif

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Bah! In the spirit of the NEW! REVEALED! PENG CHALLENGE THREAD! (Ya' Git) I will take on instructing you, laddie, in the way that you are to go. Your name says to me 'The Unknown Hunter/Fighter', so shall your tombstone read: Here lies the the Unknown Trooper: Please water the flowers standin'. Bloody daft bugger. Send me a setup, lad, of yer choosing, and be glad that it was me that chose to respond. I'm the nice one, I am.

------------------

Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties,

Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices!

But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli,

All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother!

We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more,

We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Der Unbekannte Jäger:

...I was wondering if a pooler would be willing to play me a PBEM game?

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Now, Mr. Unknown Hunter, that is completely the wrong angle of attack, so to speak, to take in the pool. The important thing, even in this kinder, gentler, more cheery and sunlit, even fresh-smelling (comparatively) thread, is still that when one wants a game, one singles out some unsuspecting halfwit for a dose of taunting.

For example, you might start with:

"Seen-atrain (ed. name modification is de rigeur) your prose is far to prolix. We understand that you really are a power hungry lunatic, but do you have to express it in such a nice (as in Minnesota nice) way? You've become horrifically tiresome with all your sing-sing, and "dear me, Meeks is at it again", and such. I shall slay you on the field of battle. Name your terms (not that I'll pay any attention-- the file is already on the way) and I will smite you horribly, rending your skull in two, and subsequently rip your lungs out into a dashing blood eagle. You stand no chance at all, having lost to Peng repeatedly"

Now go back and try it again.

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"If you can taste the difference between caviar on a cracker and ketchup on a Kit-Kat while blindfolded, you have not had enough aquavit to be ready for lutefisk." (stolen from some web page about lutefisk)

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

Bah! In the spirit of the NEW! REVEALED! PENG CHALLENGE THREAD! (Ya' Git) I will take on instructing you, laddie, in the way that you are to go.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Grrr. I'm not finished with you laddie!! First off, you owe me a file, probably displaying more of your troops dying. (Btw, for those of you grumbling grog wannabes, who think that the one with the last functioning piece of armor wins, well, let Sneezy-boy here be a lesson to you, he still has a Stuart and a couple of (well, only one now, since I popped the other with a schreck) bren carriers, compared to my bogged StuG and PzIV/70, and he's just about to lose the second of two flags in what may be the bloodiest QB I've ever fought (Peng Included)) Anyway, back to admonishing Mr. Sneey-train, who has accepted a request. A polite request!! to play some unknown squire wannabe who just happened on by and popped in for a dip in the muck. without even so much as a "You smell a little funny". Seanachai--you should be ashamed. when I finish turning you into lutefisk, I will do it all over again!! Muahhahahhaha.

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"If you can taste the difference between caviar on a cracker and ketchup on a Kit-Kat while blindfolded, you have not had enough aquavit to be ready for lutefisk." (stolen from some web page about lutefisk)

[This message has been edited by chrisl (edited 01-23-2001).]

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