Herr Oberst Posted December 16, 2001 Share Posted December 16, 2001 Here you've got it... THE official, yes-blessed-by-the-bald-one Peng Challenge Thread. (I can hear the blood-curdling screams of Joe Shaw now, and it warms my heart). Read it and weep, JS: <blockquote>quote:</font><hr> I like it! Run with it. Let me know once its started! Matt * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Battlefront.com, Inc. Home of Superior War and Strategy Games <hr></blockquote> The angelic chorus hails its divinity... Birds twitter its praises... The sun shines in its wake... Flowers blossom... And the Cesspool is filled with the melodious sounds of: WTF is HE doing starting a Peng thread again? Probably have some poor bastardized version of the rules, no doubt... What's the Pool coming to... Why I outta... Keeerap, there goes the neighborhood! So, first off the Rules, from the Original Cesspool, Always Officious, Sometimes Relevant Except When It Applies To SSNs BOOK OF ORDER (and cause, thought it pains me to admit it, I like no other base version better) PRIMUS. NO EFFING TALK ABOUT THE FOOD CHANNEL YA GIT! Uno. Thou shalt sound off as if thou possessest a pair, that the 'Pool shall prosper and be fruitful. Eine. Thou shalt not sound off ABOUT thy pair, nor about politics, nor racial, sexual nor ethnic crusades, lest you find disfavour in the eyes of the Bald One. Hannah. Bring not the unclean from the Outer Boards into the Sanctuary, lest you be subjected to foetors of Strines and other unclean things. Un. Thou shalt not have congress with Scum Sucking Newbies (SSN), nor shalt thou bow down before Grogs nor worship them, for that way lies the Kaos of the Outer Boards. Ichi. Remember the place of the Peng Challenge Thread and keep it upon the first page, 'nuff said. Unos. Honour the Olde Ones, the Senior Knights, the Knights and the Squires … ignore the Serfs and vilify the SSNs, for that is right and just. 1. Thou shalt enter not into the 'Pool without bearing a challenge of mighty taunting, for that is whole purpose of the exercise. 4/4. Thou SHALT give false testimony about thy fellow CessPoolers, and give them gamey play and insults and bile and taunts, for that renders some modicum of amusement value. Foremost. Thou shalt not covet thy fellow CessPoolers record, for wins and losses are not OF the CessPool, for the 'Pool is not some fecking ladder. First. Verily those that walk in the way of the CessPool shall fall in and they SHALL be wet, so if it is thy wish to remain dry ... SOD OFF! Willkommen zum Cesspool! [ 12-17-2001: Message edited by: Herr Oberst ]</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iron Chef Sakai Posted December 16, 2001 Share Posted December 16, 2001 Joe Shaw is probably in the midst of eating paste right now, so if you want to reach him, your best bet is probably via the asbestos is good for me messege board. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iron Chef Sakai Posted December 16, 2001 Share Posted December 16, 2001 hehe, so is anyone up for a game sometime? mabe if i taunt joe enough he'll play. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted December 17, 2001 Share Posted December 17, 2001 Fat chance, Joe doesn't play with microbes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iron Chef Sakai Posted December 17, 2001 Share Posted December 17, 2001 yeah, i think we all know exactly what it is that Joe inisists he plays with Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Leader Posted December 17, 2001 Share Posted December 17, 2001 [ignoring Foodnetwork] My gosh and golly, I don't know who this Oberst fellow is but that is quite a set of rules! They need to be bronzed, framed, and mounted above Seanachai's mantle. We can put them above the stone dagger right between his hand-sewn "jackalope" (because he would never kill jackalope) and the autographed photo of him, Berli and Peng taken last hallow's eve. Roight, so here is an update, 'cause why not? In my three games going, the oldest happens to be with Seanachai who has gone from the brink of destruction to a near stalemate, mostly due to my lack of fortitude I would guess. It is a Rune curse of course, and I think we are in turn 1,503 out of 7,000. I am currently watching a few of Mrspkr's green-base troops circle wildly around an intersection as they try to understand why they are being shot. I'll attach a message to the next mortar round to fall. With that loveable, cuddly CMplayer I have just constructed a little Majinot line for his little Uranus. Yikes, Bauhaus and Pawbroon better both stay away from that one! There are no other games, nor will there be others, for I am all full up. Now,when the Russkies invade, it will be a different story... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iron Chef Sakai Posted December 17, 2001 Share Posted December 17, 2001 ok Joe, i'ts time to stop playing with your gi joes and play a game of cm, if you can muster what ever skill you think you might have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted December 17, 2001 Share Posted December 17, 2001 Weak, very weak. Take better note of your 6th grade report card, see where it says "must try harder"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFCElvis Posted December 17, 2001 Share Posted December 17, 2001 Hey..Iron Chief...send me a set up file I'll take you to school...they don't call me the bus driver for nothing...come to think of it they don't call me the bus driver. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFCElvis Posted December 17, 2001 Share Posted December 17, 2001 I forgot....... Wankers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iron Chef Sakai Posted December 17, 2001 Share Posted December 17, 2001 Stuka, your brave attempt at wit i will applaud, but the effectivness of your jokes coincidentely coincide with your screen name. like the stuka, everyone can hear your bombs scraming in and falling fast a mile away. perhaps it's time you turned in your wings ace and settled on something you would be more suited for yet challenging enouhg to occupy you. how does light bright sound? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iron Chef Sakai Posted December 17, 2001 Share Posted December 17, 2001 i already planned a game wiht a friend of mine for 7 elivs, bu thanks for the offer, i will have to take you up on a game, have you ever played ip games? i don't mind hosting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted December 17, 2001 Share Posted December 17, 2001 Dammit Oberst, more than half of this thread seems infested with some sort of parasitic, Oriental Chef Prudhomme. BTS pleeze defumigate or somefink! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leeo Posted December 17, 2001 Share Posted December 17, 2001 Alroight then. I would say you all are a pain in the arse, but the problem is, I am now currently recovering from a medical case of pain in the arse, and I'll never again use that term lightly. Being able to only stand-up (down bauhaus) or sit down (up bauhaus) makes a desk job a bit of carefully negotiated nightmare. Antibiotics are of course wonderful, and have the added benefit of protecting me from anthrax, menengitis, and various other methods of microbial infection. Come to think of it, these antibiotics may even offer some protection from you lot, as you are annoyingly bacterium-like. UPDATES! OGSF is attriting my American armor in a snow covered version of Dante's nightmare. He's due to receive some manoouuouuvouureing He's losing lots of guns, but it's slow, expensive work. The faux-Scottish bastige will pay, for I'm a-cranky from the anti-biotics. Moriarty and I are in the opening stages of a gamey but fun map. The fun for him will soon end, as he discovers what a feld-grau pain in the arse I can be. No matter the outcome, I am completely content, as I've started a fire in sodden woods, and their bright colors please me greatly. MrSpkr is terribly excited that he has killed some Canadians whilst defending as the Germans in godfosaken polder-land. So am I. In fact, the most redeeming feature of this game is that there are lots of Canadians to die. Thank heavens MrSpkr is of the proper density to think he has killed enough. I hate Elvis more with each passing day. Without him to hate, my life would be a frail, unbalanced husk of my normally verdant, throbbing yearning to destroy him. Or not. He is the attacking 'merkuns, moving down a long, thin map, with ambushes a-plenty. He's killed lots of green troops, and his jabos are buzzing mercilessly, but my escot squads and security forces are more than a match for his inept fumblings. Roborat keeps complaining about how deadly accurate my Allied artillery has been. "Unspotted hits" he says. I think he's yankin' my chain. His mg pillbox won't be yankin' anything, as it's now a tomb. Sludge69 is pulling a Student Body Left in a very gamey edge-hugging 'Merkun. Very gamey indeed. He show's promise. You can all SOD OFF! now, and may the pains of a thousand arses find home in your posterior. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPeng Posted December 17, 2001 Share Posted December 17, 2001 Gentleworms: Gamey Updates: lessee now, chrisl - turn one not much going on in the Circus Maximus map that the vile, bilious Justicar PShaw(!) has concocted. Just finished Moriarity up in an unbalanced G(ain'tIgreatdon'tIloveme)B thing called Claustrophobia. A little lighter on the arty an it will be just fine. Elvis and I will be TCPing later tonight. MrIV is missing in action (and sorely missed). His erudition, wit and eurgh sorry guys couldn't keep going without a chunder on that one. Seanachai returns turns when it suits him and no sooner (reminds me a bit of me) 2 outre boarders not worth mentioning. I have one game going with an exceptionally egregious swine whom shall remain nameless. another one that has been in suspended animation for 3 months and 5 days - the guy is on-line everyday. Two months ago I asked him if we were ever getting back to the game and he got very pissy with me about how busy he was reporting the news... So that pretty much means I have NOTHING going on. PBEM Dance card wide open. SSN's and others of that ilk need not apply. Proper taunts only accepted. Uncle Stukey is owed a thrashing, of course he is too much of an Australian to accept. Hell he is damn near a Canadian. Those Commonwealth types make me sick. Although it is widely known that Pennsylvania is not a state, but a Commonwealth. Here's a Pennsyltucky joke. What is 40 feet long and has 4 teeth? The line for funnel cakes at the Bloomsburg fair. HAR! that one always cracks me up. Anywho. Stukey strikes me as a lover of funnel cakes and fried dough. Yep bet he'd be right at home up here in good ol' P-Tucky. Pennsylvania: Land of GIANTS, Where no GOOD DEED Goes Unpunished. I suppose if ol' Stuke were in the line for the funnel cakes that he'd throw the joke off by about 2 teeth though. 40 feet long and 6 teeth just isn't as funny as 4 teeth somehow, is it? Nope, it isn't. So just STAY in OZZIE land you extra toothed swine and quit spoiling our jokes. Sheesh. Peng Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted December 17, 2001 Share Posted December 17, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Iron Chef Sakai: Stuka, your brave attempt at wit i will applaud, but the effectivness of your jokes coincidentely coincide with your screen name.<hr></blockquote> Twit, no joke was intended. Here, let's see if you can tell the difference... Gee, Iron Chef, we'd love to have you in our thread or SOD OFF!!! Now as you can see, in the first one, I was clearly pulling your leg, in the second, was my heart felt welcome. Please practice the second Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted December 17, 2001 Share Posted December 17, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by MrPeng: Stukey strikes me <hr></blockquote> Your'e damned roight Old Uncle Stukey strikes you! Again and again and again like a red-haired, orphan donkey thats just eaten a carrot off your plate. Herr Pod, I will smite thee mightely in a manner befitting a park-bench dwelling, thinners drinking swine such as yourself. You may choose the manner of your own demise, mind its not a pack of skateboard helmet wearing, topless females. Consider your challenge accepted. On second thought, keep the girlies coming. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted December 17, 2001 Share Posted December 17, 2001 Need 2 guinea pigs to test out a scenario I did. Who wants to play? Mayhaps someone can beat up the Aluminum Chef. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPeng Posted December 17, 2001 Share Posted December 17, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Stuka: Your'e damned roight Old Uncle Stukey strikes you! Again and again and again like a red-haired, orphan donkey thats just eaten a carrot off your plate. Herr Pod, I will smite thee mightely in a manner befitting a park-bench dwelling, thinners drinking swine such as yourself. You may choose the manner of your own demise, mind its not a pack of skateboard helmet wearing, topless females. Consider your challenge accepted. On second thought, keep the girlies coming.<hr></blockquote> From Uncle Stukey's Profile on this very BBS <blockquote>quote:</font><hr> Home Brew genius, taking bugger all serious, plotting against Mr Peng. <hr></blockquote> I didn't know you cared so much! So how's the plotting going? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted December 17, 2001 Share Posted December 17, 2001 I got bored with the plotting after stalking you for 18 months and finding out just what it is you get up to in the broom closet every thursday evening at 7.05. Frankly, you disgust me, that sort of thing is best done in the laundry hamper by a trained professional equipped with the necessary rubber hose, cling film and tubs of goose fat. I guess I should change that profile into something more befitting a Seniour Knaggitt, right Joe? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted December 17, 2001 Share Posted December 17, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Stuka: that sort of thing is best done in the laundry hamper by a trained professional equipped with the necessary rubber hose, cling film and tubs of goose fat.<hr></blockquote> Shows what you know. you forgot the flock of sheep! A trained professional Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted December 17, 2001 Share Posted December 17, 2001 Just HOW do you figure on getting a whole flock of sheep into a laundry hamper? Trained eediot more like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted December 17, 2001 Share Posted December 17, 2001 It's absolutely a wonderful thing, cable TV I mean. I'm from the three channels if you don't count PBS (and in those days you didn't) era and I'm still amazed at the variety available at all hours of the day and night. Take last night for example, I was threading my way between The Playb ... uh I mean CNN and the History Channel and I stumbled across ... wait for it lads ... THE FOOD CHANNEL. And there, right on my own personal TV screen, was ... THE IRON CHEF! I thought he was kidding or something, I mean how many times have YOU actually stopped on the Food Channel for Gawd's sake? But there it was, and it gets better, for one of the contestants was ... yep, our very own hard as a bloody cockroach to eliminate SSN namesake. What a Geek! Have you seen this show? It's even more incomprehensible than Australian Rules Football and that's only because ARF (hey, if it was British and Australian Rules Footbal it would be "BARF" hehehe) is a sporting event ... I think. Anyway, this is apparently some kind of competition in which two Japanese cooks try to impress a panel of Japanese judges with their Japanese dishes. But it gets even more bizarre than that, because the show is dubbed ... in ENGLISH! So you get dialog like: First Japanese Celebrity: Oh boy I'm really looking forward to that octopus tentacle soup! {goofy giggle} Second Japanese Celebrity: I'll say, and that Moray Eel Eye pie looks just yummy. {goofy laughter} Our guy was dressed in a red chefs suit, complete with red hat and from his face shown the inner light of those for whom the phrase "village idiot" was MORE than just some words. The highlight of the evening was apparently when he ad libbed the (I'm not making this up) fried dumpling filled with ... give me a minute here ... sea urchin ROE! Makes you wonder, doesn't it, about a guy who'd go OUT OF HIS WAY to choose THAT for a handle on a wargaming BBS? Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goanna Posted December 17, 2001 Share Posted December 17, 2001 Before I go back to the serious ignoring that he so richly deserves, I have to comment on the point which so obviously points him out as an interloper even if he were hacking away under an Olde Ones screen name <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>...have you ever played ip games?<hr></blockquote> To which Elvis could have immediately replied had he not been laughing himself appoplectic, "Does a frog have a watertight arsehole?" Just goes to show you - there are no stupid questions, only stupid people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iron Chef Sakai Posted December 17, 2001 Share Posted December 17, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: It's absolutely a wonderful thing, cable TV I mean. I'm from the three channels if you don't count PBS (and in those days you didn't) era and I'm still amazed at the variety available at all hours of the day and night. Take last night for example, I was threading my way between The Playb ... uh I mean CNN and the History Channel and I stumbled across ... wait for it lads ... THE FOOD CHANNEL. And there, right on my own personal TV screen, was ... THE IRON CHEF! I thought he was kidding or something, I mean how many times have YOU actually stopped on the Food Channel for Gawd's sake? But there it was, and it gets better, for one of the contestants was ... yep, our very own hard as a bloody cockroach to eliminate SSN namesake. What a Geek! Have you seen this show? It's even more incomprehensible than Australian Rules Football and that's only because ARF (hey, if it was British and Australian Rules Footbal it would be "BARF" hehehe) is a sporting event ... I think. Anyway, this is apparently some kind of competition in which two Japanese cooks try to impress a panel of Japanese judges with their Japanese dishes. But it gets even more bizarre than that, because the show is dubbed ... in ENGLISH! So you get dialog like: First Japanese Celebrity: Oh boy I'm really looking forward to that octopus tentacle soup! {goofy giggle} Second Japanese Celebrity: I'll say, and that Moray Eel Eye pie looks just yummy. {goofy laughter} Our guy was dressed in a red chefs suit, complete with red hat and from his face shown the inner light of those for whom the phrase "village idiot" was MORE than just some words. The highlight of the evening was apparently when he ad libbed the (I'm not making this up) fried dumpling filled with ... give me a minute here ... sea urchin ROE! Makes you wonder, doesn't it, about a guy who'd go OUT OF HIS WAY to choose THAT for a handle on a wargaming BBS? Joe<hr></blockquote> ahhhh finaly someone has figured out where i came up with this handle, haha, i'm glad i'm not the only one who has seen that show, and it sounds like our friend Joe Shaw has viewed it more the once. Joe for being the first to figure out where i came up with my handle name,...you win some sea urchin ROE!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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