Please, In all that is Holy, do not allow mouse to start a PENG CHALLENGE!!!

[dalem]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Josie and the Shawcats:

There are only a FEW, a select FEW, who have the wit and literary ability to post at length and frequently while still retaining that springtime freshness. I, of course, am one, as is Seanachai, MrSpkr shows promise and Agua Perdido is welcome to post at any length. Other than that ... well ...

Joe<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Go ahead Josie, you can include me. You know you wanna.

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Go ahead Josie, you can include me. You know you wanna.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Other than that ... well ...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Joe

[MrSpkr]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lawyer:

Pretty soon, the Cesspool will have a corporate sponsor like Pepto Bismal, if we don't watch out.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Actually, given my feelings about each and every one of you, Preparation-H might be more appropriate . . .

[**YK2**]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Phillies Phan:

I think PL enjoys all the attention. If he didn't, then he wouldn't post so often.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I agree Phillies,of course he enjoys the attention, and like I said in my post I for one will spare PL no feelings if deemed neccessary...

But the pool is all about taunting, friendly banter, and one-up-man-ship, Not Bully Boy tactics.

Some people can go a little too far....

Funny though that Lawyer should deem my post as being sentimental, I guess that's his prerogative, although he obviously read it in haste.

Actually I think Lawyer was feeling a teeny bit defensive after reading said post,

see how he drags Leoo and Aitken in as his allies.

Just like the school bully would do..

Or maybe he even felt bullied himself, backed into a corner, again calling on Leoo and Aitken but this time as his...

"It wasn't only me" tactic

A little reverse psychology....... and he never even noticed.

[Lawyer]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Ohhmyygawwwdddd ... I've been taken to task for {gasp} ambiguity by none other than Hiram Sedai ... opps, sorry, it's Phillies Phan this week isn't it, my bad. Of course it's hard to keep track since he's here, then gone, then here again, I suppose I should break down and buy a program to keep track.

No ambiguity here lad, just an attempt to keep from having multiple Peng threads and incurring the wrath of of the bald angry one or his minions.

Admittedly I was absent on leave during the worst of the mouse incursion, but I tend to agree with Dame YK2 and I was pleased to see some of the lesser members of the CessPool (i.e. everyone except Me ... and perhaps Seanachai and Berli) give mouse the satisfaction he desired. Let's remember that we nurtured Phillies Phan away from his mamby-pamby politness to the point where he feels confident enough to take ME to task ... it's really kind of cute, like a puppy barking and attacking your slippers as you walk by.

I think we need to do the same for mouse, let's give it a shot ... and then if it doesn't work out we can give HIM a shot.

Mind you, he should heed some of the advice given here ... keep it short and infrequent.

There are only a FEW, a select FEW, who have the wit and literary ability to post at length and frequently while still retaining that springtime freshness. I, of course, am one, as is Seanachai, MrSpkr shows promise and Agua Perdido is welcome to post at any length. Other than that ... well ...

Joe<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Did somebody leave the gas on again?

[Lawyer]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by YK2:

A little reverse psychology....... and he never even noticed.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ahhh, the old "female psychology" routine, and I missed it entirely. Ignorance is bliss. Time for another beer and a belch, I guess.

Gimme yer lunch money, PL.

[Iskander]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lawyer:

Ahhh, the old "female psychology" routine...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Isn't that a bit like "military intelligence"?

To wit: "When I imagine a female character, I imagine a man, with all reason and accountability removed."

In other matters: Lorak if you have enough time on your hands to make Spudbump a Knight, then you had enough time to notice that I beat Speedy like a blonde in a porn video... please update accordingly. My auto-surrender to the Father Confessor should undoubtedly be along shortly. When all your men are "panicked", it give one so much more time to mix drinks!

Loathing you all through the bottom of a highball glass, I remain, well, er... nevermind.

[Geier]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

While I am on this roll, Geieir I have really heard enough of your "silence for three weeks then a one sentence post along the lines of 'you suck'."<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Excuse me? You have had enough? Let me make this absolutely clear, I gave you the only piece of advice that mattered here. It was "don't take everything so seriously".

Since you obviously are a moron you failed to comprehend it. Or worse, as I begin to suspect, you are rather like those people who cover their ears and go "LALALALAAA" when someone tells them something they don't feel like hearing. Only to later point their grubby fingers and tell everyone how bad they've been treated and why is everybody always shouting at them?

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>

That is pathetic and so are you, so if you have something you would like to say to me, then get up onto the funicular and shout it out. To you: Do the right thing.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You know what, I think you are right, I am pathetic. I actually believed that everyone who came here got the joke. I thought that anyone writing ten posts a day here understood. You have once again made it clear that you do not understand, you do not get it. Instead you come here being self-righteous, making demands, all the while letting us know that you only wish to understand and to be understood.

You have no such wish, you only like the sound of your own voice. You try to come across as honest, as a victim of bullies (as YK2 puts it), as someone who has been wronged. That looong post has to be one of the most self-conceited pieces of crap ever to float up in the pool.

You can play your little part and don't worry, I'll never reply to you, nor will I mention you again. Phillies Phan put it best when he called you the kid boasting about the new skateboard your mom got you on the playground.

I was going to write some stuff about Swedish midsummer traditions and force-feed you with some game updates but I don't give a flying psychotic feck anymore.

[**YK2**]

Sheesh...... this incarnation of the MBT is much too full of venom for moi.............

I sure hope PL is as thick skinned as some of you seem to think....

Adios..............

[Lars]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

As a great philosopher once said (can you name him?) "I am what I am and that's all what I am."<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Popeye was a philosopher?

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lawyer:

I have yet to invade Australia..<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

The Scene: The Australian Gold Coast, a man shaped object is washed ashore with the tide

Barry: "Struth Bluey, will you look at that. What it is?"

Bluey walks over and prods the inanimate object with his foot

Bluey: "Not sure, Bazza, a beached whale? No wait, whales don't wear expensive suits, and look at the shoes! These shoes cost a pretty penny too I betcha!"

Bluey kneels and proceeds to check the pockets.

Bluey: "Hmm, a wallet...let's see... about $250,000 in US currency, drivers licence. Oh and what's this, membership cards for some American lobby group and ...oh... err... for a legal bar".

Barry: "Hey Bluey. Isn't a bar like a pub?"

Bluey: "Yeh, I think so! Talking about pubs...lets go sink a few, Bazz. This thing's as dead as anyhow!"

Barry: "Yeh Bluey, good idea, mate! But what was that thing?"

Bluey: "I have a theory mate, I think it was some bleedin' invading Yank species of shark...Fortunately the swim over must have knackered it, and besides...we have enough of the mongrels here!!"

Camera pans from body to the 2 Aussies. They take one more look at the body. Barry shrugs. Bluey removes the cash, pockets it, then throws the wallet on the sand. They turn and leave.

Mace

[ 06-24-2001: Message edited by: Mace ]

[Foobar]

Look, this is simply and clearly a fresh steaming load. I am sick of hearing about it. Panzerleader, SHUT UP. Cesspooligans, STOP TALKING ABOUT HIM.

Let me start by pointing out that I have bee prowling the mutha beautiful in silence since its inception and beyond. Does that entitle me to anything? Hell no. Just look at the ration of ****e i was treated to LAST time i tried posting here in earnest.

Make no mistake, you whores. I am not a bastard child. Berli, the evil lord of smouldering anguish is my father figure, my mentor, my sponsor. I have been dutifully locked in a fatal duel with Roborat since last FECKING OCTOBER. It has ruined my life. I dont enjoy anything anymore. But do I complain? NO, and I dont come in here begging for praise and attention.

I know my place, I get told to PISS OFF constantly. That worthless git JoeBlowShaw would love to damage my mind. And have I ever written a 40 page diatribe to you all, crying in my beer? NO. And the day any of you worthless dregs gives me quarter is the day I slit my wrists with my Combat Mission CD, and play Sudden Strike on my blood covered Computer Desk, until I lose consciousness, and ultimately, my life precious.

To the pool: Kiss my pimply bloated arse.

To Mousey : Shut up, and give in to despair. This is a cesspool, not a tupperware party.

BAH

(Robobrat- your turn is sent. turn 25 now, and you still hide like a festering buttock boil. Will your hesitation never end?)

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr:

Actually, given my feelings about each and every one of you, Preparation-H might be more appropriate . . .<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I don't need the help of any product - each and every one of you have a laxative affect on me. So thankyou for making me regular!

Mace

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by *Captain Foobar*:

And the day any of you worthless dregs gives me quarter is the day I slit my wrists with my Combat Mission CD<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

*Gives Foo a quarter*

Mace

[Lawyer]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by *Captain Foobar*:

And the day any of you worthless dregs gives me quarter is the day I slit my wrists with my Combat Mission CD, and play Sudden Strike on my blood covered Computer Desk, until I lose consciousness, and ultimately, my life precious.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I give you quarter. Now go play "Valhalla" and look forward to my Ardennes posts in August.

[Foobar]

You know what Lawyer? I have done the whole Ardennes thing already, so dont try rubbing that in my face, you petty little clerk.

In fact, I am over it.Its been done.And I have seen things there. Secret things that you will never find. And isnt it funny that you chose a morbid little ret-trap like Baugnez to base your wanderings out of. Hoping to get some survivor lawsuits going while youre there? Personally, I had better things to do than pick through the weeds of Malmedy for bone fragments, you sick bastard.

Now stay away from the roast boar while in Bastogne. It, much like you , is very gamey and usually stale.

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>That worthless git JoeBlowShaw would love to damage my mind.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Ummmm, no, not really, in the first place it would be no challenge and in the second ... IT'S BEEN DONE ... obviously.

Joe

[MrPeng]

Wow. What a thread.

Lorak?

Elvis and I worshipped at the alter of the Church of T.C.P-Ification last night played two games and surprise! Split Decision.

One was a 1000 Point ME in the rain with hills and trees and stuff at which I nearly had the bugger in a box but for strange pickings on both sides: I went with a bunch of ACs and a Flamey HT and set fire to plenty o stuff. However - The peanut butter and banana sammich King went with several platoons worth of zooks for some strange reason - and smoked the ACs. He also had a .50 cal from hell that took out something like 6.02 x 10 to the 26th power of infantry and an AC and an HT and gawd only knows what else. Damn him.

Game one in the rain

Elvis Middling win 60 Points

Peng Horridly close loss 40 Pints (I wish I had had ONE pint)

Next was a 700 Point ME at night in the fog, in which being the gamey rat basterd pile of cheating filth that I am, I chose a Coy of FJs and an HT. Elvis the Fool spent a lot o cash on a stinky Sherman, which met its timely end at the business end of a 'faust from about 37 inches away. Plink! Dead Shermie. Then It was just a matter of my FJs moving in nice and close and murdering his poor little riflemen a lot.

Game the second:

Elivs Well deserved thrashing 27

Peng Cheating Gamey FJ at night in the fog buying scum WIN - 73

Not that I care about wins and losses or anything mind you. Or that I care about anything at all... uh, but really boys and girls, this Panzer Leader thing has gotten a bit silly, eh?

Far be it from me to try to add any sort of sanity to the mix. fer christ's sake my job is to throw some gas (that's petrol to you greasey and not greasey foreingers) on the fire; nor do I see it as my duty to admonish or advise anyone to take it easy on the bottle when depressed, Hell no, DRINK UP!

So, my point, if I had one would be to say something along the lines of...

neener neener neener. Mouse is a big crybaby who is just TROLLING for insults and Emma is taking the mother protector role far too seriously. Or something

Seriously, everyone is taking everything far too seriously. This is supposed to be a refuge from the dour pinched faces and cranky-pants moaning of the outerboards. I really really think (hope) that Panties is laughing his ass off at the great damn joke he is pulling off here getting everyone to be so damn SERIOUS, I just wish it was a whole lot funnier.

He really isn't a very funny guy, though HE thinks he is. It is a shame that so much effort has gone to so little good effect. He obviously has a grasp of ze anglish, Mostly spells and rites reel gud. Seems to have read a book or two in his day. Appears to like the game.

He is like an old friend that I had. We called him the Tuskwatch. He could be a really decent guy and sometimes was fun to hang around, but he just tried too damn hard, and in the trying made himself such an irritant that it was hard to like him anymore. And unlike some others of that ilk, whom one can safely ignore without fear of redoubled efforts, the Tuskwatch would treble and quadruple his efforts to be liked, and the vicious cycle swireld up into a drunken spiral of acrimony and hurt feelings.

PL, many have advised you of this, and I will say it again because this is MY THREAD, and it is after all, what it is too, ahem, brackets miss brackets, AHEM a thread about me, ahem, and is mine. RELAX. Don't try so hard. I HAVE BEEN TO THE MOUNTAIN AND I WALKED WITH THE KING! Do you know what he said? "Everything's going to be alright."

Say goodnight, Gracie.

Peng

[MrSpkr]

Updates:

Wildman is about to overrun me -- but I think his victory will be tempered by all the holes he is gonna have to dig to bury his dead.

Oh yeah, Wildman, call a tow truck for all those TD's I waxed. Leave the one I got with an 81mm mortar in direct fire mode, though; I need a trophy.

Leeo and I are just getting into our little Berli designed piece of hell. Leeo, will you hurry up and cross the bridge so you can die-a-lot?

Jshandorf's cowardly advance with a company or so of American parachutists is so slow some of my men are requesting a three day pass -- they figure they will be back before the fighting begins.

Phillies has been having technical difficulties. I look forward to killing him more when these get worked out.

Mouse and I are trading my tanks for his infantry -- I have more of everything, though, so it should be okay.

Iskander continues to paint the snow red. We are a third of the way through this one and he has lost at least two companies of infantry and picked up two buildings, as well as brutally maiming Fifi the poodle and frightening a badger.

Speedbump and I are going to retire and open a scrapyard yard for all the armor we have destroyed. Just call him Sanford.

The rest of you can go gargle motor oil.

[ 06-25-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ]

[BilgeRat]

Aaaarrgh!

BilgeRat rolls out of his hammock with a thud and peers out at the rest of the shipDouble aaaaarrgh!

blinks repeatedly to dispel the vision before him

Damme, what is this the HMS Pinafore? Some sort of genteel ladies sewing circle?

scrambles back into hammock and closes eyes all the while muttering

Damme, too much grog, too much grog....

[Panzer Leader]

Ohhh, what a headache.

Well, in a post where Popeye was touted as a philosopher, where Andy Kaufman was held up as a model, where the immortal wisdom of Steve Martin was laid before Geieier, and where the closing was a word from Groucho Marx, the Peng has managed to sift through the moribundance to discern that it was humour, banal though it turned out to be.

Ahh well, we can't all be Jerry Seinfeld, but we must try. By the way, Peng was your line:

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> ...He really isn't a very funny guy, though HE thinks he is. It is a shame that so much effort has gone to so little good effect... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

...a challenge? It sure sounded like one to me! How dare you say I'm not funny, why I am the funniest guy I know, just maybe not ha ha funny... Send me a set-up! Nothing crappy though. Too many of my games are crappy.

Emma you are so sweet. I only wished you played the game so I could root for your troops, who I am SURE can throw a picnic or even a full blown luncheon better than your opponent EVER could.

Game updates:

I didn't play today. The rattatat of my gamey SMG truppen hurt my head too much, so I sat down for a four hour mini-series on the east front on our rich American History Channel. Good stuff!

Oh one update at least: Stalled in Oregon, what the hell is that crap showing up in my inbox?? like I would play an insipid GIT like you. Has anyone even deigned to acknowledge your presence here?? I sure hope not, and I am only doing it to uphold my reputation, so please do what Dame Achin' is hoping you will do and SOD OFF. Take that crap-ass ME QB ya sent me with you when you go.

[imported_Wildman]

Personlly I haven't liked PL since he came in a begged to be allowd to start the new PENG thread about five incarnations ago. Although I did like the beginnings of this latest effort of his, very inspired for you. Just enjoy the hate lad, at least they notice you, unlike Lenin's PEEPEE and Rommel1/2.

As for the gamey Sir I still need a vowel the computer picked forces give me FIVE, yes that's right, FIVE Hellcats and no artillery over 81mm in which to dig you out of a good sized town. The fact that I was able to remove you with only two scout cars and two half-tracks as support speak volumes for you Texas-Sized ineptitude. And you can have that damned Hellcat, I've got that niiice Panther trophy to take home. Viva la BONZAIIIIII tactic

I have turns from some of you and I will endeveor to return them soonest, along with a full complement of bile.

[Stalin's Organ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

Oh one update at least: Stalled in Oregon, what the hell is that crap showing up in my inbox?? like I would play an insipid GIT like you. Has anyone even deigned to acknowledge your presence here?? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You mean like saying lovely things like "Hey - did SO & humour enter the same time zone?" - well yes, of course the nice man did!!

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> I sure hope not, and I am only doing it to uphold my reputation, so please do what Dame Achin's is hoping you will do and SOD OFF. Take that crap-ass ME QB ya sent me with you when you go.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

What Mr Itchy is wantin' me to do* is none of your business wussy boy - if you ain't got a pair then what u doin' here??

Actually I think he wants me to walk into a hail of 2" mortar shells - seems his Green Poles have a problem with a little wood and are determined to destroy it with the battalion's assembled fireworks display team. Actually the boys are just lyin' back & watchin' the pretty show!

[ 06-25-2001: Message edited by: Stalin's Organ ]

[Mark IV]

It's about time to get things back on track, so that means it's time to talk about... Gin

Now, I know many of you associate me with scotch, and the untimely and horrible deaths of your troops. And rightfully so (unless you are Goanna, in which case I hate you).

But the hideous Fresno summer is upon us, and summer means gin, my friends. Gin and tonic especially, but if we ever get our hands on the real (i.e., Dutch) thing, chilled and neat. I like the Bokma Jongke or however they scribble it.

Scotch is nearly always the right thing to do, but gin helps give life that multi-hued aura that makes each day more difficult to recall. Cool and refreshing, gin when mixed with various contaminants also rushes through the capillaries a little more slowly, and is a better choice for driving (you DON'T mix your scotch, now, DO YOU!). Say you're on the way to church Sunday and you don't want the tell-tale plume of Scotland in your bonnet: Gin and Grapefruit juice! It's not only a stealth drink, it's good for you, and a damned fine breakfast drink for fishing, too.

I know that many of my fellow Americans had their first experience with the glory of gin when their parents were out, and they were snarking gulps from the unguarded liquor cabinet, and found this barely used bottle of clear stuff way in the back. Then they either took a sip and recoiled in shock, or pursued the investigation until they were found babbling incoherently and covered with their own dinner. Kudos to the intrepid souls who go on to recognize the encounter with the Sublime that has just passed.

The Martini is a ritual not fully understood in our modern age, but let me first explain that NOTHING with vodka (yecchh) in it constitutes a Martini. I do not care what James Bond drank. He carried a PPK too, and if you're the sort who thinks a .380 auto belongs anywhere but in a purse, go ahead and order a "vodka martini". Umbrella with that? ALSO: One of the world's best known alcoholics (obligatory WWII content follows), Mr. Churchill (obligatory content concluded), started this nonsense about waving the vermouth cork over the glass. A Martini is supposed to have vermouth, you ninnies. To the extent that Mr. Churchill even bothered with a glass, he was only attempting to justify his medication, not to relax with fine spirits.

Gin was indeed a Dutch thing, if you were too lazy to click the link above, and the word comes from genever. Back when the Dutch were a manly race, they developed the magic formula, which like everything good was stolen by Aitken's ancestors and presented as though it was their own idea. There are German gins, too, but the distillers continue to evade prosecution.

All of this brings me to Panzer Leader. I was well ahead of the curve in despising and denouncing him and his soul-mate, the latter of which has subsequently been elevated beyond his station through a loophole in the rules. When I learned to my dismay that he imbibes Captain Morgans Barbecue Starter, I knew that this was entirely justified. However, like most trends, I am now bored with it.

Thanks for listening, and why not try a cool refreshing glass of GIN today?

[Leeo]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr:

Updates:

Leeo, will you hurry up and cross the bridge so you can die-a-lot?

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Me cross the Bridge? I thought YOU were supposed to cross the bridge. Sheesh...