Please, In all that is Holy, do not allow mouse to start a PENG CHALLENGE!!!

[PawBroon]

That was pathetic all the way...

So before the Fat King shows his ugly head, I'll say this for him because you really deserve it this time:

Wankers!!!

[Panzer Leader]

BE ADVISED, this is a Panzer Leader Post, so you might want to just skip it all together.

Ahh, where to begin where to begin. Perhaps I will begin with a nod to my good friend Captain Morgan here beside me. That is much better, much.

I feel no need to rake over the coals of my ire with this evening's machinations. Let it just be said that, once again, Panty-liner, or mouse, or whatever this week's inspired name is, that Panzer Leader was once again showed the proverbial door. Ahh, what the hell, Captain Morgan ain't goin' nowheres and neither am I so I might as well rake. Besides, it has already been pointed out to me that my posts are no longer read. What a relief! Now I can meander and preamble down the long road to inspiration with no fears of someone sticking their foot out.

Yes, I composed a brilliant, succinct opening post for my abortion of a Peng Challenge. Yes, it was harsh enough to strike fear into any passing newbie git; clear enough to make any man's mind seem mudled; short enough that even Rommel22 could have gotten to the last line before he forgot the first. But is that enough?

No it is not ((Swig)). It takes something more than panache to start a thread. It takes... Leeo's approval! Oh, and a habeus corpus from the Lawyer too, I presume. ((swig))

Aside -- If I continue with my Captain Morgan like this, I will have to pull out my wife's two month old vinegary Cabernet. This will not do. --Aside

So, being the introspective type, I entered into speculation. (Do you see the play on words? And I'm drunk!) ((Swig!)) What is it about Panzer Leader that makes him so universally despised? People have no qualms with telling me directly what they despise about me, so I will start there. Seems reasonable.

1.) I post often and long. Hmm, that is surely true. One person saids that I make up 30% of all posts on this entire message board, and while surely an exaggeration this will be my 1,061st post since regestering in February, and that is no small number. So I do post often, and if this particular post is any example, they tend to be somewht on the longish side.((Swig))

Aside -- That was it for ol' Cappy. Damn. --Aside

Now then, what some have said is that my posts are not witty or even interesting, and that is a harder argument to argue. While I find my posts ridiculous and hilarious, I am definitely not an impartial judge. So I must assume the worst, for y' all's benefit, and consider myself moribund. Ouch. Incidentally, there is no word for the plural of "you" in the English language. The southerners were really on to something when they came up with y'all. Strange...

As for length, I would argue, what are we here for if not to engage each other with banter, dialogue and discourse? If I am long of tooth (or would it be nail, since I AM writing after all) then so be it, it doesn't change the fact that we are all here for the same reason does it?

Aside -- I would say I am now officially drunk, so please bear that in mind I am not yet to the point of fetching the Cabernet, but it could happen. --Aside

Okay, I have written myself into a corner about #1 with no answers forthcoming, so I will just go on from here.

2.) Well, I have made som unseemly remarks in the past, and I don't want to go into them, not because I am embarrassed (I am) but because I don't want to hurt feelings or embarrass others. There is a line that even here in this land of invectitude must not be crossed, and I have indeed crossed it.

3.) I do not abide by the "rules". To this I say simply "Sod off." What few rules there are (which can be read in clear detail on my Peng Abortion thread) I have held close to my heart. Do I challenge directly? Indeed I do, and my inbox is perpetually burgeoning by my constant challenging of those I feel need it.

About challenges, I notice that while their seems to be a general LOATHING towards me, I have recieved very little in the way of direct challenges. This sims to be in conflict with the spirit of the first rule (Lawyer, could you help me with the fine print here?) What I mean is, is that many have seen fit to heap abuse on this poor mouse ( I call into evidence the last two thread TITLES as an example) where I have been abused, insulted, derided, with naught in the way of a challenge forth coming. Could it be that my problem is that I play by the rules?? Who knows, because the rules seem as mutable as Joe Shaw's decision making skills.

Do I sound off like I got a pair? Well, I definitely sound off, and I definitely got a pair, so I don't see a problemo there. As evidence, I bring forth my chagrin at JShedwarf's chest thumping and my subsequent taking him to task. I also bring forth the fact that, while I am no neanderthal with my insults, a la "Me kick you suck butt" they still hold a steely edge of rapier wit that cuts to the quick of those towards whom I direct my invective. I would again direct you to my final postings on Peng Abortion, where I called out Joe Shaw for his failures. He backpeddled out of it, but the remarks were no less stinging for it.

That sums up the rules. I can't particularly think of any other reason right now why I would be so despised (remember, I'm drunk) so how about this: Mayhaps it would make you all feel better about yourselves (and I know it would!) if you could maybe put into print why you loathe me so. Not that I am curious. Well, I must admit I am, but it still won't change anything.

As a great philosopher once said (can you name him?) "I am what I am and that's all what I am." I will always be here. Like it or not, I came in with a chainsaw, cut down a weeping willow, and dug out a hole for myself in this swamp.

Speaking of that, and to give evidence to my questionable "wit", does anybody remember my entry into the cess? It was a raucous event, starting with a post I titled "Peng Bastids" and brought up all the outer-boards complaints against the Peng Challenge thread. I did so right as they cess was attempting that weekly ritual schism of finding a new home, and let me tell you - it was RAUCOUS!

Perhaps the funniest part was that on "Peng Bastids" I took on a character not unlike that alter-ego Andy Kaufmann came up with whose name escapes me. You know, the lounge singer lech type. But the funniest part was how all the kaniggets, flustered, jumped in to chime their "We don't waste bandwidth, these messages do!" and "Hi Moms!" They were SERIOUS!!! Little did they suspect that I was not, but then that is what I wanted so it WAS a success, I guess.

Ahhhh, those were the days. Oh, the songs Glenn Miller played, songs that made the hit parade. Brother we could use a man like Herbert Hoover again.

Feeling somewat sentamental, I did the search engine for that old thread, for anyone who would like to remember the good ol' days. Here she blows: Peng Bastids I think it is especially hilarious. What is also remarkable are the initial remarks of a few characters who have gone on since then to become my avowed enemies.

By that, I mean you, Leeo. Your constant abuse and bad-mouthing to me are really becoming trying. What is worse -- you have never even challenged me. You seem to think it is all well and good to sound off, like a pack of wild dogs, against the poor mouse, but listen Leeeeeeeeeo if you got something to say, put your money where your mouth is, arright? Otherwise, sod off! I have heard enough of your bitching and complaining about Panzer Leader this and Panzer Leader that. Man, what a ninny! And you even got my Steve Martin joke. What a shame, what a Jerk. Do the right thing.

And you Lawyer. If you go to court to sue me one more time on the grounds that I am holding up your contempt of court proceedings, I will (I am a child of the 80s) BARF! Do not think you can "chime in with the gang" and pick on ol' Panties without fear of retribution. You have called me out, pointed out to the jury your case, but have yet to challenge the ruling! Lawyer, do the right thing.

While I am on this roll, Geieir I have really heard enough of your "silence for three weeks then a one sentence post along the lines of 'you suck'." That is pathetic and so are you, so if you have something you would like to say to me, then get up onto the funicular and shout it out. To you: Do the right thing.

Did I follow the rules? Did I challenge someone specific? Why no, I told the mulligatawnies to shut up or put up. This was no challenge, it was more a challenge to challenge. I have nothing against these fine chaps other than the fact that they incessantly howl, bleat and bray, then trundle off into their own swill.

Ahhh, I am drunk, how to end this LONG BORING POST. Who cares! No one will read it. Maybe I will do an update.

In my games I am either dying a lot, or causing the other party to die a lot. Oh and in one of them, we both are so timid that no one seems to be dying even a little.

There you have it, to quote another contemporary comedian:

Thank you and goodnight.

[Speedy]

I must say I am glad he put that 'skip it' part at the beginning.

[David Aitken]

Yeah, thanks for warning us.

He seems to be learning his place, don't you think?

[David Aitken]

Let's see...

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Captain Morgan ... drunk ... Peng Abortion ... RAUCOUS! ... Steve Martin joke ... 'you suck' ... LONG BORING POST ... Thank you and goodnight.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Nooo... I don't fancy wading in any deeper.

[dalem]

"AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! My eyes, again!

[PawBroon]

He's drunk.

Quick send me a turn!!!

Speaking of turns:

[Friendly Advisory]I am currently trying to play a Rommel22 scenario with PL.

Do NOT play those.

The force composition is a joke and well, he designed it.

I propose we drop Jabo! and use the one I'm engaged in for the moment as mandatory first game.

Rommel22, if you read this, why would you waste such a good looking map with errr, Fairies?[/Friendly Advisory]

For the others, now you made him sad again and he will post things that might not come with a SKIP IT on top.

Be nice with the Serial Poster will you...

[David Aitken]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Panty Liner wrote:

I can't particularly think of any other reason right now why I would be so despised (remember, I'm drunk) so how about this: Mayhaps it would make you all feel better about yourselves* (and I know it would!) if you could maybe put into print why you loathe me so.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

*I thought at this point that he had suddenly got a clue, but then it turned out he was making a request, not a statement.

Yes, I did read it. No, I may never recover.

[Stalin's Organ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by David Aitken:

Yes, I did read it. No, I may never recover.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

WHAAAATTTTTTT????????

That bloody Panty Liner is giving my opponent's reasons, nay excuses for sub-standard performances...I mean even worse than they would be anyway?

Panties,...er....sorry MOUSE - keep your lunatic drunken ravings to yourself - hell, just keep to yourself in toto!

Your odiferous leakage into my game is unforgivable - even more so than your mere existance, which is the worst joke evolution ever played on an amoeba!

Nothing will suffice to undo this wrong, but I'll give you a chance to do your best by getting thrashed by me.

It's in the mail, so bugger off and play!

[David Aitken]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Stalin Orgasmed:

odiferous<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

For once, a word I had to look up that doesn't actually exist.

[David Aitken]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Colonel_Deadmarsh wrote:

Um...I have no freaking idea of what you're talking about. I may have been around awhile but I am still naive about WWII terrain, units, soldiers, you name it.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Damn, he admitted it. Now I can't accuse him of being an idiot any more.

But... but... wasn't this the same guy who claimed that soldiers shouldn't be hurt by falling masonry, or should countermand your orders when they know there's a chance that they may be killed in the next few minutes, or something like that?? Maybe I won't let him off quite so easily.

[ 06-24-2001: Message edited by: David Aitken ]

[Stalin's Organ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Itchy:

For once, a word I had to look up that doesn't actually exist.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

"Odiferouos" doesn't exist??

So much for the English language in it's home country!

[PawBroon]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by David Aitken:

For once, a word I had to look up that doesn't actually exist.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

And there's a stalker who's mailing me about my alleged shortcomings...

Let's see.

It could be OVIFEROUS, and that I won't even dwell on the gross implications of what was hinted to.

Or it's mayhaps OPIFEROUS which is rather rare and literate.

So we could safely rule that out considering who did that posting...

So what's ODIFEROUS: From Ode, HAVING A CHORIC QUALITY and Ferous HE WHO BEAR, PRODUCE OR YIELD.

So I guess CommieTail is hinting that Mouse is prone to sing.

[ 06-24-2001: Message edited by: PawBroon ]

[David Aitken]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Dzhugashvili's Organ wrote:

"Odiferouos" doesn't exist??<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I would suggest 'odious', which is far more appropriate in the context.

[**YK2**]

All this time I REALLY thought you pooligans were pulling PLs leg when you said how much you despised him, Granted I did SOUND OFF to the guy on more than one occasion, and at one point he was really starting to annoy me, but after Seanachaicoochicoo stepped in and read PL the riot act coupled with a good flogging, then he genuinely did make a change for the better.

Hell, at one point I even suspected sean had written a few of the posts PL made just to give him a KICK start.

But no, twas all his own doing, and then, PL starts a PENG THREAD which in his defence, had it all, looks like it was going strong at one point, only to be snatched away before the light of day (EURO TIME).

I thought that if a SSN hung around long enough and took all that was thrown at him then eventully he would be recognised as worthy and allowed a little slack..

ie: GIVEN A BREAK.

But who am I to THINK anything? I hear you say, well I AM ME so SOD OFF if you don't like it, and let me finish my RANT.

(steps higher onto her soapbox)

And now look what's happened, PL has become all defeated and in danger of going back to his old ways, I am for the first time beginning to feel that the Peng Thread is in danger of becoming that of which poolers have always denied....

ONE BIG CLICK.

Like a bunch of MORMON WIVES sitting around their cauldrons cackling.... "PL is never gonna be in our circle" nah na na na nahhhhh.

Of course this could all be in my mind,

after all I am but a mere female and you know what that means, for those of you who don't ...... Female = Tend to be over sensitive at times, difficult to understand, and hopeless drivers,to name but a FEW but if given time, patience and guidance can become quite lickable..... I mean Likeable.

That said, I am NOT suggesting for a minute that PL is like a WOMAN, just that some of the poolers I thought worthy of being pretty cool guys have opened my eyes to the fact that BITCHINESS is NOT a woman only trait as we are all led to believe.

Three new Knights made at the drop of a hat, not that they don't DESERVE it, and CONGRATULATIONS to all of you, Especially SIR MRSPKR who's stories are getting as good as SEANS (nothing to do with the fact that I had a role in one of course)

Where was I? oh yeah....... 3 new knights and PL not even given the satisfaction of starting and ENDING a measly PENG THREAD.

Taunting him in the way of the pool? Nahhhhhh even the most laid back person would be hard pressed to stick out the ABUSE PL has been given... It all seems much too real to me, like the BULLIES in the school playground, never letting up, give the guy a break, ok... so you don't like him, and you all know who you are, then ignore him, I'm sure he wont mind, but I think..... (I do that sometimes) it's time PL was given a break, (and not his legs) or any other part of his anatomy.

I will continue to banter with PL if and when necessarry like I always have done, nothings changed, and if in my view he deserves an earbashing for something he has said about me then he wont be SPARED. So don't go thinking I have gone all soft on you PL You still make my skin crawl sometimes, but hey, so does latex and that has its uses..........

So before you all fall asleep (if you haven't already) I will now step down from my SOAPBOX and hand it over to you lot..

*reaches for a glass of water*

Phew....... I sure feel better for that.

[ 06-24-2001: Message edited by: YK2 ]

[PawBroon]

Hey that's cool!!!

I remember when I was a mere teenage girl and when my body was rapidly changing (mind you it all turned out terribly wrong so to speak) that I was quite confused at time with the cumulative effects of hormones, zits and guys dotting on me (they had more zits and dental metalware than me).

I can't say I understand most of what PL is trying to achieve but as much as I failed my earlier womanship, he is just trying to blend in.

With the example you're giving, it's no wonder the guy sounds like that.

Why is it that people NEVER abuse me, or Pembelitos or some others?

PL, your body is changing, don't fear the future.

You'll either end up being a Pooler or not.

The longer you're abused and the less likely it is to retain some modicum of incentive.

Since I Squired PL, I might as well say it:

I, Marcel, Frog since 1968, give a Kingnightoinghoodness to PL just because you are collectively beyond the Pale compared to him.

If it buggers you, pile your bile and abuse unto me.

Spare me the trouble of having to read his rantings again.

Besides, there are a whole lot of you lowlifers I am still to play.

Send a setup and expect a trouncing.

[**YK2**]

I thought it meant (SMELLY) or something like that...... which would fit into Stalins...."Your odiferous leakage into my game is unforgivable"

[Speedbump]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

It is with complete loathing that I bold the following names... Sir MrSpkr (consider changing your username), Sir Leeo and Sir Speedbump. Congradulations, and may you all rot in Hell (You will anyway)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oh my, do you know something I don't?!?

Speedbump

[Lawyer]

Well, well, well...

The PL takeover of the Peng Challenge thread was tottering at the brink when I left these proceedings last night. But through many quick postings, Leeo and I saved the day for the True Spirit of the Cesspool.

Then Mouse gets a late night tank up on sweetened hootch (kinda suits his style), and for the umpteenth time he spills out his guts, inner feelings, and sentimental whining all over our nice new green carpet of scum. If he were a dog, he'd be back at the pound by now.

Then, I arrive this morning to the sentimental guilt and blame tripping of Emma and her pet mime Marcel. I attribute this behavior to the after-effects of whatever it was they were doing together at the finis of the last thread. But only "The Shadow" knows or wants to know. I take that back, I'm sure PL would like to know. Perhaps he is auditioning to make it a threesome.

Thank goodness David Aitken was on active duty in the same time zone, and so was able to leaven this messy "why can't we all just love and adopt PL since he refuses to leave" slop with some caustic English salt.

In fact, this whole episode is reason enough for Chrome Dome to lock up the Cesspool for safety while America sleeps so it doesn't get hi-jacked by Mouse and his weepy Euro fans who cry over the "pathos" in Jerry Lewis movies. Hmmmm... Maybe the "Jerry Lewis" factor explains their unadulterated adulation for mouse droppings...

Mouse

Here's a pro bono tip. SHUT UP!! LAY LOW FOR A WHILE! Give it a rest. Even Bill Clinton is doing it, so it must be cool for attention sponges like you. People, even Pooligans, need time to recover their senses and forget the horrors you have visited upon us for what seems like forever.

I note that you have mercifully shortened your sig line. That is a good start, although the commercial for your outside thread life is still tawdry.

Also, have you considered tele-marketing or selling insurance? Seriously, there are places in this world where your clueless masochism and inability to understand "NO" could make you a fortune. Some people just give up in the face of relentless mental onslaught. Unhappily for you, most Pooligans don't fit that description.

Why accept abuse here for free when you can get paid for it elsewhere? Unless of course, the masochism part is what really turns you on. Ugh, let's not go there...

Regarding your pathetic "challenge" (do the right thing?? Oh Spike me, pleeeeease), I am busily engaged in bringing Truth, Justice, and the American Way to assorted gits more deserving than you across our fair land. Others are waiting in the wings for their turn to receive Justice at The Hands of the Law. I have yet to invade Australia and pay back the British for my ex-wives. Tell you what, I'll put you on my list right behind Rommel22 and Colonel_Deadmarsh.

One last thing to Emma and PawBroon. If Mouse ran this thread, it would soon have frilly curtains in the windows and all-around good fellowship as its inspiration. He would be joyously emceeing it all with a slick smile and a greasy pompadour. PL's Pool would make the Winescape love-in look like it actually had a pair. Which it does not.

Ominously, I noted that Mr Spkr (formerly the King of Bile) joined the PL Club last night as well. I do believe he has "gone Hollywood" with outside success rising to the tip of his "Zippy" noggin. Pretty soon, the Cesspool will have a corporate sponsor like Pepto Bismal, if we don't watch out.

So be thankful that Leeo and I were on night patrol to protect all that is irksome here in the MBT. Leeo obviously did it for patriotic love, but I will be sending each of you gits a bill. I will send Mouse the personal address and phone number of each person who fails to pay promptly.

With loathing to each of you, I remain your humble (sort of)...

Lawyer

[ 06-24-2001: Message edited by: Lawyer ]

[Leeo]

Hey Mousie!

You are naught but the imperfection on the cobbler's shoe-horn, which rubs and roughs the heel area on that new pair of shoes that look nice, but soon wear and rub and torture your feet, not in one all-or-nothing mangling of the foot, but in that tirelessly annoying "rasp, rasp, rasp" that slowly works a blister, and then an open sore, and finally a festering wound upon the Achilles.

So, you were whinging about having too many concurrent games on-going; However, if you can fine the fortitude, send a set-up.

Oh, and lastly, Your premeditated try at starting a thread had promise. However, last I recall, NEW MTB'S NEEDED TO BE STARTED BY KANNIGETS!! Interesting to note your well-planned attempt at a new thread was still-born, while my annoying plea to not allow it became the new Thread of Threads. Puzzling, and I could not have forseen it, but such are the ways of Peng.

Now send a set-up if you've got more than a mouse-sized pair!

Did anyone tell you you get maudlin when you drink?

[ 06-24-2001: Message edited by: Leeo ]

[Phillies Phan]

You are each proving that you read PL's verbiose post after all. You just can't help it. Its like a traffic accident.

YK2 I've never been in a click in my life. I've been in a queue at the local liqueor store. I think PL enjoys all the attention. If he didn't, then he wouldn't post so often.

Mr. Shaw Wander over to your nearest Post Office and approve the postage rate hike. They care about you as much as we do. Your approval of everything is somewhat disheartening. You should be dubbed "the jellyfish knight". Ambiguity unleashed

OGSF Oh, won't you please call me Jimmy?? I'm thinking about printing out your posts and putting them up in my new office. The first of my employees who can sucessfully translate it gets a free lunch in the cafeteria.

I'm not posting about my games because I am bored of them. I might need a new computer game soon.

[ 06-24-2001: Message edited by: Phillies Phan ]

[dalem]

Oh what the hell. I'm old fashioned and can't stand to see a woman cry, even a woman who rides French guys on purpose.

Light one up and fling it my way, panties. QB 1000 pts, I'll attack or defend, Allies or the stinking Hun, I don't care.

And panties, the reason you get the abuse you do is because z) abuse in the Pool is like mothers in a chick flick - damned near everywhere, and III) you type too much and don't say anything, then don't listen to people when they tell you type too much and don't say anything.

[BFCElvis]

Wankers.

[OGSF]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Hiram:

OGSF Oh, won't you please call me Jimmy?? I'm thinking about printing out your posts and putting them up in my new office. The first of my employees who can sucessfully translate it gets a free lunch in the cafeteria.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Wha hi' tha' feckin' noo wi' cracken sae tha ferrick glee porridge an' mah wee bairn kirk o' birnie boozel, Jimmy!! An' reet gla tha glam Ah am tae hear ye bin gi'en a noo wee jobby wi' a thickety gaggle o' men a' command......Jimmy!!! Ah've noo doobt ye noo major task ais tae ream oot tha weepin' bottoms o' spaded ferrets wi' a pipe cleaner...JIMMY!!!!! An' sae wi tha' at's teem fer ye tae ha' a wee ****e an' fall back ain at....JIMMAAAHHH!!!

(Di ye meend af'n Ah call ye Jimmy, Jimmy???)

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCDJimmy

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Mr. Shaw Wander over to your nearest Post Office and approve the postage rate hike. They care about you as much as we do. Your approval of everything is somewhat disheartening. You should be dubbed "the

jellyfish knight". Ambiguity unleashed <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Ohhmyygawwwdddd ... I've been taken to task for {gasp} ambiguity by none other than Hiram Sedai ... opps, sorry, it's Phillies Phan this week isn't it, my bad. Of course it's hard to keep track since he's here, then gone, then here again, I suppose I should break down and buy a program to keep track.

No ambiguity here lad, just an attempt to keep from having multiple Peng threads and incurring the wrath of of the bald angry one or his minions.

Admittedly I was absent on leave during the worst of the mouse incursion, but I tend to agree with Dame YK2 and I was pleased to see some of the lesser members of the CessPool (i.e. everyone except Me ... and perhaps Seanachai and Berli) give mouse the satisfaction he desired. Let's remember that we nurtured Phillies Phan away from his mamby-pamby politness to the point where he feels confident enough to take ME to task ... it's really kind of cute, like a puppy barking and attacking your slippers as you walk by.

I think we need to do the same for mouse, let's give it a shot ... and then if it doesn't work out we can give HIM a shot.

Mind you, he should heed some of the advice given here ... keep it short and infrequent.

There are only a FEW, a select FEW, who have the wit and literary ability to post at length and frequently while still retaining that springtime freshness. I, of course, am one, as is Seanachai, MrSpkr shows promise and Agua Perdido is welcome to post at any length. Other than that ... well ...

Joe