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PBEM update..(short)

Cesspool (Abbott's record)..

No wins, No losses, No draws..

The above list would be differen't if I had not scared Roadkill a.k.a Hamsters off I believe. After his numerous requests for my surrender it now seems to be going down to the wire, send a turn Hamey.

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr:

Speedbump is too lazy to reply to an email proposal. MrSpkr

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

First, you are the remnants of my morning constitutional; an especially greasy one, given the amount of alchohol I imbibed last night.

Second, it seems to me you should be falling down in apoplexy with gratitude to simply be discussing a game.

Third, I will get to it when I damn well please. Until then, go play in traffic!

Speedbump

[ 04-28-2001: Message edited by: Speedbump ]

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Game updates:

Lawyer: Jake just sent me what may be the among the funniest streaks of bad luck I've ever seen. He's basically obliterated my defending force of old men with demo charges and flamethrowers (defending on an open map where half the flags are in the middle of nowhere), and immobilized my KT a long time ago (only mobile AT weapon (of three total) against an armored attack), and while delivering the coup de grace, his luck turned to moldy jello. One sherman toasted by an FT(catastrophic explosion, but the full crew of 5 got out safely!!! LOL), his only 76 suffered a gun hit, and the Greyhound that was occupying one of the flags managed to hurl itself in front of a PF-30 fired by half a rifle squad that was out of C&C with a global morale of 16%! I don't know where those guys got the nads to get that close, but what a surprise. I was expecting them to get hosed by the flex mg but was trying to put on a good show for jake. I suspect he might have gotten a PBEM file editor and tried to cheat, but it was one for 1.05 and doesn't quite work right on 1.12. If his luck continues, he may only squeak out an allied tactical. Serves the lying bastard right- here's how we started:

Jake: "wanna play an armored attack?"

innocent me: "sure"

Jake: "Here's the file. Oh, btw, I think I may have messed up the force selections"

(it turns out he selected for me "useless wanks with no AT capability beyond 30 m on a map where half the flags are greater than 150 m from cover and there's a big ass armored force on the way")

me: "wow, that force looks like crap. What a scumbag, but what the hell, it will be an interesting way to die"

Elvis: he started having file trouble just when things heated up. Moderate damage on both sides. Mostly an arty exchange so far, but he sure does like to remodel villages. I did get revenge on his sacrilegious priest that blew up the church. He also just threw away a full platoon probing my front lines. Big thrills on the way, much blood yet to be let.

Oh, and I almost forgot-- an almost full rifle squad of Jakes just surrendered to my immobilized KT. I'm going to start calling him boxcar jake.

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Speedbump:

First, you are the remnants of my morning constitutional; an especially greasy one, given the amount of alchohol I imbibed last night.

Second, it seems to me you should be falling down in apoplexy with gratitude to simply be discussing a game.

Third, I will get to it when I damn well please. Until then, go play in traffic!

Speedbump<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Sigh. Another squire trying to impress his boyfriend.

MrSpkr

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by chrisl:

Lawyer: Jake just sent me what may be the among the funniest streaks of bad luck I've ever seen. .<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Funny how chrisl crawls out of his hole once in a blue moon whenever he lucks into something good. Sure, I had to move over eight miles (not too high, mind you) of completely open ground with my intrepid force to kill his forces, which I did quite well. He had his 88's covering all approaches with LONG lines of fire. Still, nothing like seeing chrisl's krauts running for their pathetic lives. Hehe..

What's that?? You don't know about it?? Herr chrisl didn't post about his defeat?? Oh my, so you haven't heard that he was beaten so badly that he offered to surrender two turns ago??

Well, good ole Jake says "Nah, carry on" to see what killing a KT in the open field will take. As chrissy admits, I had a few strokes of bad AI luck where clearly inferior forces got the better of me. How many of you expect to lose a Sherman to potato mashers? {For Wildman and other Dan Quayle fans, that's spelled "potatoe")

Anyway, I own ALL the flags, destroyed poor chrisl completely while he whined (surprised?), and lost a few extra guys while trying out some risky maneuvers. Great CM players can afford to do that.

Now get a life, chrisl.

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lawyer:

so you haven't heard that he was beaten so badly that he offered to surrender two turns ago??

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

And more amazing how you'll pull a draw out of a sure victory. but it's never over until the AAR screen comes up. An offer of surrender isn't a surrender until the cmd-U is confirmed.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>

How many of you expect to lose a Sherman to potato mashers?

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I don't think the potato mashers got any of the Sherms-- two to flamthrowers though, a couple to the pillbox, two immobilized by on-map mortars, a couple to the KT, and one to the 105.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>

Anyway, I own ALL the flags<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Are you sure about that? You still don't seem to grasp how FOW applies to the flags as well.

But given that it's an armored attack against basically AT weaponless old men, the immortal words of OldGrumpyStumpFetishist quoted in my sig apply. And if you can't win handily on an attack, you ought to be playing hiram/Phil.

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Lorak -- get some soft chalk or water soluble poster paint and mark lightly in the tome:

chrisl: tactical loss

scum sucking, beltway dwelling, hot air spewing, about the parameters lying, sherman dying lawyer: barest margin of tactical victory.

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I have to inform everyone that Meeks/Hamsters has taken a much needed vacation from CMBO for a while.

He has been under enormous stress as of late, and while you are all free to heap derision upon his pointy little head, you should be aware that it is causing him some considerable anguish to have to interrupt his games. He regrets any problems this might cause.

Save your last turns from him. I don't know if it will be a matter of weeks or months before he gets back to you, but get back to you he shall.

My sqire match with LEEO has turned into a raging circus with armored platoons popping up right and left from the far corners of the battlefield. I've bagged a couple of trucks and a jeep and two greeyhounds. He's knocked out two Pumas.

Mensh and I are about to light up the battlefield with an armored free for all in the middle of our ME. No casualties as yet.

I just erased one of Stuka's Platoon HQ's with a single grenade, and I seem to have him pinned down on the outskirts of town with all of the VL's well covered....half way through the scenario.

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by harpooner:

My sqire match with LEEO has turned into a raging circus with armored platoons popping up right and left from the far corners of the battlefield. I've bagged a couple of trucks and a jeep and two greeyhounds. He's knocked out two Pumas.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

That's it? How many reinforcements have you got so far? That map is too small to have that little destruction.

I want to hear about blood and gore!!!

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by harpooner:

I seem to have him pinned down on the outskirts of town with all of the VL's well covered....half way through the scenario.[/QB]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

All the VL's well covered?

Muahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

You spotty little hippy, have you no idea of the Fow principle? For while you have been concentrating on my diversionary attack, my other troops have been weaseling their way into the town and currently occupy X uber secret buildings.

One of which your company HQ unit has blundered into...all by itself. What sort of schmuck leads an advance into town under Arty fire with a Company HQ?

Oh, tis to laugh.

Now, if only the kindly Berli has seen fit to supply me with the reinforcements that you seem to have in ample supply, I'll have this one "in the bag", as it were.

Bite me.

[ 04-29-2001: Message edited by: Stuka ]

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I have noticed many users of the BBS have stated that there is a problem with the search function. Some have gone so far as to imply that the search function is distraught in part due to the Peng threads. In the interest of checking this issue I ran a search with the keywords of “Easiest Pooler to defeat while oneself is under the influence of alcoholic beverages”

The search only took a moment and seemed to operate properly and efficiently. Several entries were returned with only one name present in each entry found. After reading through these archived threads many interesting and humorous items concerning Gamey play, tactical blunders and inept leadership of computer generated forces could be found.

I found this even more interesting by the fact I owe this Gentleman (yeah, right) a thrashing anyway due to recent posts on this very same BBS. David Aitken when you have exhausted any and all of your pitiful excuses for dodging me, send me a setup.

[ 04-29-2001: Message edited by: Abbott ]

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>harpooner wrote:

Meeks has gone into hiding after being exposed by Aitken as the deceitful gamey bastard that he is.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

That makes it a double moral victory for me. Lorak, I think you should chalk this one up.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Abbott wrote:

Mummy, I want a spanking like you've been giving to Babra and Meeks and Germanboy and Ellros!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Go to your room, you insolent child, and come out when you've learned some manners!

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I've not been feeling well lately, nothing serious mind, just a lousy cold, sinus infection, bubonic plauge type of thing. So, in my weakened state I find that I turn to ... my friends, my community, those who truly CARE about me. Having done that I thought I'd come here and tell you swine that my turns will be done when I feel like it which, based upon current evidence, could be a while. Deal with it or not, I couldn't care less {AAAaaaaaCHHHHHoooooOOOOO!} ... sorry about that, it probably hasn't turned into Pneumonic plauge yet so you probably don't have much to worry about ... probably.

Joe

[ 04-29-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]

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Go to your room, you insolent child, and come out when you've learned some manners!-David Aitken

------

Well sir, I am now in my room and there happens to be a computer there. I was expecting another attempt at dodging, as your current (self-stated and un-proven) victory list is long. I laugh at your attempts to claim superior tactics by saying " Meeks has gone into hiding after being exposed by Aitken as the deceitful gamey bastard that he is”. One we all know Meeks is gamey, two defeating Meeks in his current stage of, what was it? Oh yes stress was an easy accomplishment. He has run from me himself on several occasions.

In the interest of avoiding future attempts at dodging I will do as you ask. Mr. Atiken sir, when you can find the time from the overly busy and unfair schedule that life has so unfairly thrust upon you. Could you send me a setup, please sir?

[ 04-29-2001: Message edited by: Abbott ]

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Abbott:

Go to your room, you insolent child, and come out when you've learned some manners!-David Aitken

------

Well sir, I am now in my room and there happens to be a computer there. I was expecting another attempt at dodging, as your current (self-stated and un-proven) victory list is long. I laugh at your attempts to claim superior tactics by saying " Meeks has gone into hiding after being exposed by Aitken as the deceitful gamey bastard that he is”. One we all know Meeks is gamey, two defeating Meeks in his current stage of, what was it? Oh yes stress was an easy accomplishment. He has run from me himself on several occasions.

In the interest of avoiding future attempts at dodging I will do as you ask. Mr. Atiken sir, when you can find the time from the overly busy and unfair schedule that life has so unfairly thrust upon you. Could you send me a setup, please sir?

[ 04-29-2001: Message edited by: Abbott ]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Don't do that!!!!! His head will just swell.....but then it may match those ears.....carry on!

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>armornut wrote:

His head will just swell.....but then it may match those ears<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I thought this guy was just a distasteful windbag, but know it appears he is a distasteful psychic windbag.

Abbott, stop licking my shoes, I've just polished them. Nothing you have said so far leaves me with the slightest inclination to play you, so you might consider a refresher course in Peng Thread etiquette. In the meantime, I hear Charles and Steve have relocated to Siberia for their development work on CM2 – if you go and visit them, they might give you a shot of the Beta.

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by David Aitken:

I thought this guy was just a distasteful windbag, but know it appears he is a distasteful psychic windbag.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

That is me the psychic windbag!

I can tell the future? That is a new one to me! I would think even a dolt like you would know that psychic is very different from psychotic, if that is what you were tying to say.

Now flap those ears of yours and fly home you foolish side show freak.

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mark IV:

[so, are guns which fire bullets automatically, called machine-guns? Or are guns which fire bullets, automatically called machine-guns? Perhaps, upon reflection, you might not wish to call a muzzle-loading pistol a "machine-gun".

[/QB]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

More to the point, can any gun that requires human intervention to fire be considered as firing "automatically?" Thus, can any such weapon be considered machine-guns?

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