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One Peng to Pool Them All, And In the Challenge Malign Them


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The JUSTICAR'S OFFICIAL RULES

(ii) Yes, like the legendary Phoenix risen from the ashes, like the Flying Dutchman returned to port, like Peng awakening sober … hey it COULD happen, here again and still is … the PENG CHALLENGE THREAD, the Mutha Beautiful Thread and the Cesspool. Those who are worthy, and if you have to ask then you're NOT ... are welcome to their home away from home … others … should SOD OFF!

(XIV) What Ho? Still here? SOD OFF!

(1.43) You are an SSN, a Scum Sucking Newbie and it's important that you know that RIGHT OFF. You will NOT be welcome here. You will be ridiculed to within an inch (25mm +/- for our Euro friends) of your worthless life and while that might gain you more attention than you've seen in many a moon (for our Native American friends) it WILL NOT BE FUN … for you. If you don't want this to happen to YOU ... SOD OFF!

(ref. e) Yes, yes, all the lads at the office (how ARE things in the Sanitation Department these days?) say that you are the funniest DOOD around and therefore you are convinced that you are special and unique among SSNs and that you have What It Takes to be one of us ... YOU ARE WRONG SO SOD OFF.

(B) Haven't you SODDED OFF yet? Please don't hesitate on MY account, there's no time like the present you know. Oh my, persistent little beggar aren't you, don't say I didn't warn you. If you must you must I suppose, but SODDING OFF would be the road less travelled you know. Oh well, look then, please remember that this is the Peng CHALLENGE Thread, so perhaps you might consider actually CHALLENGING someone to a game of CM. NOTE THE WORD SOMEONE … that would be singular. None of these group grope challenges you clown. IF you do choose to challenge, and please don't overlook the advantages of simply SODDING OFF RIGHT NOW, do remember the following:

{34} NO ... you can't challenge me ... or another Knight, or really even a Squire. You MIGHT be able to challenge a Serf I suppose and we don't care HOW many SSNs you challenge. That would be best, come to think of it, challenge another SSN for our amusement. Post your AARs, we NEED a good laugh. And if you post in the proper CessPool manner you might, MIGHT be proposed as a SERF! The chances are miniscule and vanishingly remote of YOU ever achieving that dizzying height, but it HAS happened. Much as 8th round draft picks DO make it onto NFL teams you MIGHT be made a Serf ... {chortle} ... yeah right. And from the pool of Serfs are chosen ... {reverential pause for the choir to hum} SQUIRES! Yes, some poor (and in YOUR case probably drunk) Knight might chose YOU as his Squire to do ... Squirely things. Once a Squire has completed five CessPool matches ... well, we won't worry about THAT right now, odds are VERY GOOD that you'll be SODDING OFF shortly anyway.

{Uiv} SOUND OFF LIKE YA GOT A PAIR! Mind you it pays to be careful to WHOM you're sounding off! Sounding off to a Knight or Squire is ... not recommended. But you SHOULD sound off to your opponents and to those whom you'd challenge. For it is by your words, see you, that you will be judged. We are looking for MEN of a certain ... STYLE, men of WIT, men of HUMOR ... and women of virtually ANY flavor.

{87/87) Do NOT sound off ABOUT your pair. We tolerate no racial, sexual, political or ethnic crusades ... only good old fashioned PERSONAL attacks.

{IF you decide that you belong here ... and you're wrong, you don't, don't be thinking that you can just drop in from time to time. You must put in your time here, you must work for your stripes and SHOW THAT YOU HONOR the traditions of the CessPool. We're tired of people who wander in and waste our time and then never show up again ... or you could just SOD OFF} 1.

{vii} Have Half A Brain, this will be a stretch for most SSNs but give it a shot. When (or in YOUR case on the rare occassion IF) you taunt someone, make it memorable ... otherwise, HELLO, we won't remember you.

{Don't} think that just because you're good at CM that you have a place HERE! We don't care ... we care about taunting, insulting and generally being Gamey, underhanded swine. That's right ... GAMEY ... we LIKE GAMEY because the Outerboards DON'T.

Oh ... SOD OFF!

Joe

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And to render Pshaw's Thread title into something more authentic:

Ass nagged ding-bat-galoot, ass nagged bojangles, ass nagged throws-cats-alot, ugh Berli-Icky crimping-tool

No, it doesn't make sense, but then my Black Speech is no better than my Aramaic from two Threads back....

[not edited to show Germanboy that one can not edit a post and not have the national urge to invade Poland every few generations]

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Any Scum Sucking Newbie who can read that introduction by PShaw! is still a scum sucking newbie and should sod off a lot, but they are at least the sort of scum sucking newbie who can take punishment. this of course signifies nothing other than the ability to take punishment and not sod off a lot. or something. I think I started to have a point and then it went away or died of loneliness. ah well. that's what happens when I post SOBER.

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stalin's Organ:

Sir Lardo ya pillock!!

No SSN EVER reads the stupid damn rules - it's all a con job to give the lazy old farts around here the idea that they're useful or exclusive or something else irrelevant!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Case in point.

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That's the one I was rootin' for! Good job Joe and great rules to boot! If there is one thing we can count on Joe for, it is an almost disturbingly sick devotion to the Mutha Beaut.

Now then, sod off, ya lot, and more specifically, sod off to ya gits as whom I'm {not} playing right now. Processing turns is so... blase'.

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace:

Mmmmmmmmm...Chippies!*

Mace

* May be meaningless to non-aussies, but who cares!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ah hated them shtyupid wee furry fat koala wannabee aborrrted Barnie spawns! Blastin' a grreat hole ain them buggers wi' mah wee cannon were too good fer 'em.

Ah hate ye Mace fer even menshonin' tha stankin' thangs....

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCDJimmy

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My God, Sir Joe that was so...so Seanachaish that I almost felt the need to break out an Enya CD and chant for Gaia.

I'm finally in the frozen wasteland of North Dakota. For our overseas companions it is really a province of Canada, because no one wants to live here. Its flat and cold and the wind blows, and those are the good points. The worst part of this place is that I'm only eight hours from the Bard and Dalem, how horrifing is that!

I despise you all and when I've nailed down the new email address I'll post for my pathetic, 14" Artillery shell wielding, gamey opponents to send their impending dooms.

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

So, does that mean you will be joining us on Sunday?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Unfortunately Lord Evil One, I will be receiving my household goods this weekend and setting up the house. I might be taking the family to Mineapolis over Thanksgiving, and if I do, I'll see if we can't get lunch with the Bard

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Shaw! This is, without a doubt, the worst title I have seen yet... so bad if fact

that it blinded me, thus causing me to lose the battle with both you and OGSF<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Nonsense, in virtually every aspect. The title is sheer genius and you know it. As to the game, it's not MY fault that you chose as your avenue of approach the EXACT place that I thought you'd come AND the place where I made damn sure my mortars could cover.

It was a slaughter, his HTs and infantry on his right were trapped and my mortars ate them alive. His infantry in the center were trapped and my mortars ate them alive. His M8 HMC (naturally REPORTED as a Stuart) was killed by my schrek the first time it poked it's stubby little snout out of the woods. And just for a change of pace his platoon that tried to take his left flank ran into my perfectly sited HMG and infantry ambush ... and mortars of course. I've never seen so many mortars in my life.

After the disaster inflicted upon me by Peng ... this was proof positive that a good scenario is the key.

Joe

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