HO HO HO! Here comes Peng with his bag full of Challenges!

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Now, one should also not ignore George MacDonald Fraser's historical writings (as he is, by calling, an historian).<hr></blockquote> You insufferable geek, he was (he's now retired from his "day-job") a journalist, an editor and then a writer. Your lack of knowledge and flippant attitude toward research is a never ending trial for me.

He also wrote "Octapussy" ... well a guy's gotta eat I guess.

Of course you DO like him so that's ONE point in your favor, and trust me you need all you can get.

Joe

[Cest bon]

Hello Scum,

I am looking for a caption for this picture.

So far I have

Mace's graduation

or

Never send a boy to do an Aussie's job

TaTa

Cest Bon

[Croda]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Mace:

Since the *ahem* taunt was directed my way, I think I'll respond:

YOU HORRIBLE LITTLE MAN!!!

I'VE SEEN SSNs TAUNT BETTER THAN THAT.

THEN YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO SAY "PLEASE EXCUSE THE UTTER LAME-IOSITY OF THE ABOVE TAUNT"!!! NEXT THING YOU'LL BE SEEKING FORGIVENESS FOR BEING BORN!!!

NOW GO OUT THE DOOR, COME BACK IN AND TAUNT LIKE THE PROFESSIONAL YOU ARE. QUICKLY NOW, BEFORE THE JUSTICAR CATCHES YOU AND REVOKES YOUR STANDING!!!

Mace<hr></blockquote>

Now without the bolding:

You horrible little man.

I've seen SSNs taunt better than that.

Then you have the audacity to say "Please excuse the utter lame-iosity of the above taunt" Next thing you'll be seeking forgiveness for being born.

Now go out the door, come back in and taunt like the professional you are. Quickly now, before the justicar catches you and revokes your standing.

Wow, Macey-wacey, at least the flamer comment had a modicum of ingenuity to it. This was nothing but grade-school nanny-nanny boo-booing.

Now, as a professional I'm tempted to drudge up your picture from That 70's Show and start a rousing chorus of Disco Inferno. Instead I will call you a Nog. Yes, that's right, a Nog. Half Ninny, half Dog. You reek of sauerkraut and your owners need to take you for a walk several times a day to do your business. You also have a penchant for sniffing people's arses and leaving stains on their legs. You're a Nog.

Nog.

[Goanna]

How about:

"Even as a lad, Mace was already punching above his weight."

[ 12-26-2001: Message edited by: Goanna ]</p>

[Panzer Leader]

Or:

"Mace Participates in Take Your Child to Work Day"

[Croda]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Cest bon:

Hello Scum,

I am looking for a caption for this picture.

So far I have

Mace's graduation

or

Never send a boy to do an Aussie's job

TaTa

Cest Bon<hr></blockquote>

I was thinking:

"Damnit, Mace! I thought I told you to drop your pants before you tried to mount him!"

"Sorry, Dad..."

[Goanna]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr> Hiram:

Making Elvis cry is just plain mean.<hr></blockquote>

While I grant you that I do have a penchant for laying in the slipper where it so obviously and easily fits, no one who has actually met me would refer to me as just plain mean.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr> Football has once again reared its ugly head in the cesspool. What makes this even harder to digest is that it is dealing with crap like the eagles and giants.<hr></blockquote>

Not to worry, my little french elven-friend. Time has a way of sorting these things out and I have 20 gringo dollars that says we won't be seeing either of these two pieces of fluff after round one.

Now before this turns into the commentary box at some local sports carnival (with SA 225 for 8 after 90 overs on day two) or the warm and fuzzy chat room for brainless SUPs that wander in, I can bring us back to a point of weightier issues than what the lot of you judeo-christian capitalist swine soaked up off the backs of the proletariat the last few days.

I have an idea. And it could perhaps be a dangerously good idea.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Patch:

So, you say I haven't earned my stripes yet? I guess I will continue in my quest to desecrate the photos of every single bacteria that lives in the Cesspool.<hr></blockquote>

Not quite, but my idea involves someone with your obvious talent for forgery. I propose to take this vile maiden under my tutelage as a squire and send her on a quest. Yes a quest. It's a bloody good idea that is past its time here in the mire. And not an easy quest, mind you, but something a bit nasty and painful to all involved.

If she chooses to accept, I direct Patch to collect and present three pictures:

(š) Something involving Joe Shaw, preferably with a Mormon Wife;

(‰) Something with Germanboy which is both insulting and at the same time holds him up as the deity he is, and;

(£) Something with YK2 and including at least one decent sized shubbery

Your creativity and diligence in collecting those items that make everyone (including the subjects) both laugh and cringe at the same time shall be the criteria upon which you will be judged. Successful completion of the quest will gain(?) you full status as a kanigget (how do we refer to the kanigget of the female variety anyway?) and a title.

Bonza idea right? . . . Right? . . . Hey is this thing even on?

Now, just before I go . . .

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Joe Shaw:

He also wrote "Octapussy" ... well a guy's gotta eat I guess.<hr></blockquote>

It's right about 50 that you really begin to master the double entendre isn't it?

[edited to quash a couple of filty emoticons that dropped in like a couple of SUPs unexpectedly}

[ 12-26-2001: Message edited by: Goanna ]</p>

[Joe Shaw]

Or ...

Mace forgets the first rule of safe sex ... tag the ones that kick!

Joe

[Seanachai]

Ah, well, back again on the only Thread that can keep the cold winter away.

Persephone, Fairest of Brides, the Challenge presented by Goanna, Eldest of Australians (those bastards), is intriguing, to say the least.

And anyone who makes the mistake of questioning or neglecting the bolding of Yk2's, Persephone's, Cest Bon's, or Kitty's names, shall suffer a right awful visit from the ÜberGnome.

[Seanachai]

And now, a bit of a Holiday sing-song and celebration of the lasses and ladies of the Peng Challenge Thread.

You say, "Well-met again, Lock-keeper!

We're laden even deeper than the time before;

Oriental oils and tea brought down from Singapore."

As we wait for my lock to cycle

I say, "My wife has given me a son."

"A son!" you cry, "Is that all that you've done?"

She wears bougainvilla blossoms.

You pluck 'em from her hair and toss 'em in the tide,

Sweep her in your arms and carry her inside.

Her sighs catch on your shoulder;

Her moonlit eyes grow bold and wiser through her tears

And I say, "How could you stand to leave her for a year?"

"Then come with me" you say, "to where the Southern Cross

Rides high upon your shoulder."

"Come with me!" you cry,

"Each day you tend this lock, you're one day older,

While your blood grows colder."

But that anchor chain's a fetter

And with it you are tethered to the foam,

And I wouldn't trade your life for one hour of home.

Sure I'm stuck here on the Seaway

While you compensate for leeway through the Trades;

And you shoot the stars to see the miles you've made.

And you laugh at hearts you've riven,

But which of these has given us more love of life,

You, your tropic maids, or me, my wife?

"Then come with me" you say, "to where the Southern Cross

Rides high upon your shoulder."

"Ah come with me!" you cry,

"Each day you tend this lock, you're one day older,

While your blood grows colder."

But that anchor chain's a fetter

And with it you are tethered to the foam,

And I wouldn't trade your life for one hour of home.

Ah your anchor chain's a fetter

And with it you are tethered to the foam,

And I wouldn't trade your whole life for just one hour of home.

-Stan Rogers

[ 12-27-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]</p>

[Goanna]

And a "right awful" visit will be differentiated from your regular visits which include the standard celtic fanfare followed by much retching and weeping by all those in attendance exactly how?

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Goanna:

And a "right awful" visit will be differentiated from your regular visits which include the standard celtic fanfare followed by much retching and weeping by all those in attendance exactly how?<hr></blockquote>

I'll give you a bloody great smooch on the cheek, tell everyone we've been best friends for donkey's years, and then begin a go-round of visits with whatever few of your friends and family still accept you, showing up late at night and pretty much in the bag, demanding a place to stay, and identifying myself as your Old Friend Seanachai.

I'll stay right up until they're on the phone calling the police on one line, while dialing you up on the other.

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Cest bon:

Hello Scum,

I am looking for a caption for this picture.

<hr></blockquote>

That's not me, I'd wear nothing but an akubra on me noggin, not some lamey yellow thingy like that!

Mace

[Herr Oberst]

Gamey updates:

That would include Seanachai and Moriarty.

Seanachai: Where's my turn you leech? I replied to your last turn not more than 45 seconds ago, and you haven't responded yet. Of all the feckin' laggards, just hit go. Oh, and I'm glad that at least some of your troops are enjoying the nice 'splody things we have been throwing your way.

Moriarty: We are busy playing some illegitimate bastardized scenario from Germanboy. Well, let's put it more succinctly, GB, while trying to pass his final exam from Berli in Evilness 101, devised this scenario that has Germans and Amis, and stuff, and this, and that, and it sucks not being able to rant appropriately because of *SPOILERS*. Well, the only thing spoiled is GB's brain, which I am sure is a festering clump of glial cells. Nothing else could have come up with this, this, thing.

Oh, and Crawdad, nice to have you back. The Cesspool has lacked a proper doormat for quite some time...

[Herr Oberst]

Persephone, (I may call you Persephone, may I not? And no, I am NOT asking your opinion Burlesque), you will always be bolded in my book. As is due.

Along with Y2K, who can be forgiven her affinity for, ahem, Monsieur Frenchie. and Kitty who, well, face it, looks damn good in black...

[Herr Oberst]

What! Nobody else is up at 2:45am? You slack-ass non-posters. You should all be presented as poster children, not posters to the MBT...

Fie on the lot of you.

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Herr Oberst:

What! Nobody else is up at 2:45am? You slack-ass non-posters. You should all be presented as poster children, not posters to the MBT...

Fie on the lot of you.<hr></blockquote>

Why? You're doing fine by yourself.

Now excuse me while I go ponder Kitty in black.

Mace

[Goanna]

Right. Listen up you collection of detritis from the industrialised world.

Goanna, the ÜberLizard, Environmental Enginner Extrodinaire and all that other rot in my sig line has just completed solving a certain client's little emergency in Oman and I am now signing off from this station. Any and all additional salvos in my current collection of Cesspool brawls should be directed at my usual bigpond address and not any of the various aliaseseses that you might have seen in the past two weeks.

Any lack of response on my part to anything you might spew forth in this forum in the ensuing 48 hours is not due to what passes for your wit, bile or the accuracy of said remarks, but rather to the serious oversight on the part of the Mechanical and Electrical engineers of this planet in coming up with a decent teleportation device as yet.

So, until shortly after I hear the words, "Please return the stewardess to her original upright position", I will be hating you in thought only.

[**YK2**]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr> Something with YK2 and including at least one decent sized shubbery

<hr></blockquote>

Shubbery? I hate to think what made you link me with shubbery. :confused:

I'll await with bated breath though.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr> Along with Y2K, who can be forgiven her affinity for, ahem, Monsieur Frenchie.

<hr></blockquote>

Ahhhhh so that's where the shubbery comes in.

[Patch]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Goanna:

I propose to take this vile maiden under my tutelage as a squire and send her on a quest. Yes a quest. It's a bloody good idea that is past its time here in the mire. And not an easy quest, mind you, but something a bit nasty and painful to all involved.

If she chooses to accept, I direct Patch to collect and present three pictures:

(?) Something involving Joe Shaw, preferably with a Mormon Wife;

(‰) Something with Germanboy which is both insulting and at the same time holds him up as the deity he is, and;

(£) Something with YK2 and including at least one decent sized shubbery

Your creativity and diligence in collecting those items that make everyone (including the subjects) both laugh and cringe at the same time shall be the criteria upon which you will be judged. Successful completion of the quest will gain(?) you full status as a kanigget (how do we refer to the kanigget of the female variety anyway?) and a title.

<hr></blockquote>

Goanna, I humbly accept your challenge and will now proceed in this extremely difficult quest.

Persephone

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Cest bon:

Oh my lord.

"You don't have to be from the Burgh, to be forged in steel!"

Here we go Steelers! Here we go!

[ 12-26-2001: Message edited by: Cest bon ]<hr></blockquote>

Long time no see, Mister NC. How is life at the local Piggly Wiggly? I'll respect your anonymity and not mention how your name used to rhyme with Boorak. I'm happy for you with your team and all. It must be tough living in the land of the Panthers and cheering for the Steelers. I do hope I don't offend the unterlizard with this babble about football. He is a touchy sort.

Where is Croda? I have some invectives to hurl.

[Croda]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

Where is Croda? I have some invectives to hurl.<hr></blockquote>

He is sitting around waiting for you to send a mother-grabbing turn, you scum-licking Eagles fan (was that redundant?). And let's hope that your invective hurling is better than your bullet-hurling. Your bullet-catching aptitude is beyond that of even the French, however it's difficult to fire the gun when you throw it and run away with your hand above your head. Your men look like George Costanza in a fire.

Now send the fecking turn so I can continue to stick forks in your eyes.

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Croda:

He is precisely what I strive to be when I grow up. Unlike me, he doesn't need a diaper and a pacifier.

<hr></blockquote>

Croda, you rancid chunk of fecal matter. Your fetid stench is wafting throughout the Cesspool and we are trying not to step in you. I’m writing this to let you know that I’m taking my sweet-ass time with my turn so we can really drag it out. I’m taking my time arranging and playing with my Christmas gifts when I get home. My cat mentioned your name the other day. She said it repeatedly into one of my shoes. She is oh so very precious.

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

Croda, you rancid chunk of fecal matter ...<hr></blockquote> Right then, this whole Croda you suck! ... Huh uh, YOU suck Hiram! merry go round is just about more than I, or anyone else, wants to hear. If you MUST continue with this tiresome over and over and over repetitive potty taunting, at least include something about the game so that we know that you're not just recycling posts from 18 months ago.

Joe

[ 12-27-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]</p>

[Croda]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

...tiresome...<hr></blockquote>

Easily the most succinct definition of yourself you've given to date.