Bugger Peng Let's Have A Real Challenge Then!

[MrSpkr]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Marlow:

Oh, MrSpky, I am so sorry that I failed to notice you sent me a turn a couple of days ago. I know this may be hard for you to comprehend, but some of us east coast types aren't bright enough to actually READ our emails before we delete them, so, when you tell me that you will send a turn tomorrow, and my reply never shows up, I guess you had better send it again in hopes that I might actually READ the message this time (sorry for yelling).<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

No problem -- I'll try to get around to it tonight.

Really, you should get your lawnboy or someone to help you with all the pretty buttons on the computer -- you would be amazed at what those fearsome 486 chipsets can do.

Joe I {ugh} agree wholeheartedly -- ArtyFest '45 is a PERFECT battle for Angryflower and SlowSoldier to fight -- nice, quick, and full of 'splodey things.

[Agua Perdido]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

a Made for the CessPool battle is more than just a goofy scenario, it has to fit into our busy schedule.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

May I suggest a bit of tripe called Croda's Escape that's been rotting in the sun in the alley next to my apartment? It's stupid, extremely violent, somewhat balanced, almost-completely-unplaytested, has assault boats, and (best of all) is only 9 turns. The AARs should be most entertaining.

Agua Perdido

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>My thoughts exactly. It is a 15 turn, semi-historical battle that is not too big (1200 point German attack). I thought we force Slappy to play the Uber-Germans. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Well ... I don't know Marlow, it sounds too ... real, to me anyway. A Made for the CessPool battle should be bizarre enough so that the particpants are forced to bite on a bullet before they fire up a turn, it should force them to ask the hard questions like "RIGHT THEN, who's the f**king A**H*LE that spawned THIS piece of TRIPE?", it should test them in their ability to withstand the CessPool. I'm afraid that yours is just too ... no offense, normal. We DO appreciate the interest and the very good suggestion you made ... you wanker (I thought I was getting to touchy-feely, can't have that you know).

Now Arty Fest '45 or even Croda's Escape seem like they might fit the bill. Either would work for me.

Joe

[Berlichtingen]

Havin' a bit of a chat with Peng about our very own Mensch. It occured to me that he should be given the official title of Mutha Beautiful Village Idiot, but Peng responded...

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>it's more like "village loopy bastard who never came down from his last mushroom adventure"<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

So I thought I would put it to those of you with an opinion that matters (that should keep the responses to a bare minimum)

[Lars]

Let it be “Arty Fest ‘45”, Sire. It did get rid of Juardis, so we have a 50/50 shot here.

[MrSpkr]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

"RIGHT THEN, who's the f**king A**H*LE that spawned THIS piece of TRIPE?"<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

f**king A**H*LES, Joe, f**king A**H*LES.

Get it right, there's a good chap.

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>The inestimable Berli has suggested: Havin' a bit of a chat with Peng about our very own Mensch. It occured

to me that he should be given the official title of Mutha Beautiful Village Idiot, {various comments from Peng snipped for lack of relevance}<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> This seems to be one of those Self Evident titles but since newbies keep wandering in, no matter how hard we try to keep them out, perhaps making it official would be a good idea. However, I think that CessPool Village Idiot is more compendious.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Let it be “Arty Fest ‘45”, Sire. It did get rid of Juardis, so we have a 50/50 shot here.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Hmmm, good point young Lars, I hereby retract half of the ***boot***'s I implemented this morning. A powerful argument in favor of Arty Fest '45 gents, any thoughts?

Joe

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

This seems to be one of those Self Evident titles but since newbies keep wandering in, no matter how hard we try to keep them out, perhaps making it official would be a good idea. However, I think that CessPool Village Idiot is more compendious.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I take it that you didn't quite fathom the meaning of opinion that matters. That's ok, we didn't make you Justicar because of your wits

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I take it that you didn't quite fathom the meaning of opinion that matters. That's ok, we didn't make you Justicar because of your wits<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I take it as part of my responsibility to oversee FUTURE traditions as well as those that are established.

Joe

[Leeo]

Though my opinion matters not a bit to all of you, it is of great import to myself, and as I've come to believe the Mutha Beautiful Thread exists solely to provide me with some small measure of bemusement, it is imperative that I post my opinion merely for the sake of my own enjoyment.

I say he be titled "mensch; The Cesspool's official loopy bastard."

If you don't like that, or my opinion, then good. I hope it has caused you some bit of annoyance and/or frustration.

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Joe Shaw did quip:

I take it as part of my responsibility to oversee FUTURE traditions as well as those that are established.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Very logical of you Joe... and, I recall that logic is a violation of Pool Tradition. So, tell us, how does one rack one's self?

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Leeo sqeeked thusly:

"mensch; The Cesspool's official loopy bastard<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Got a certain ring to it... unfortunately, your opinion does not matter

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Very logical of you Joe... and, I recall that logic is a violation of Pool

Tradition. So, tell us, how does one rack one's self?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> You are, no surprise, wrong again. Logic is the very FOUNDATION of CessPool tradition, it's misuse and misapplication form the basis of some of the greatest of CessPool traditions. But to answer your question ... it's all in the wrist.

Joe

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

it's all in the wrist.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Thank you for clearing that up

[Lawyer]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Speedy:

(1.43) There are SIX (6) kinds of people in the world, Old Ones, Seniour Knights, Knights, Squires ... Serfs ... and Scum Sucking Newbies (SSNs). <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

WRONG, Speedo.

There is, in fact, a seventh. I am Consigliori to the Pool, a title conveyed to me by The Justicar Himself. This title is reserved for my exclusive use, as it recognizes and honors my wise contributions to the gutter slime that passes for postings herein.

And as Consigliori, I was thinking we might ask someone to take Blow Joe fishing on the lake... Ya know what I mean??

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>WRONG, Speedo. There is, in fact, a seventh. I am Consigliori to the Pool, a title conveyed to me by The Justicar Himself. This title is reserved for my exclusive use, as it recognizes and honors my wise contributions to the gutter slime that passes for postings herein.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Ummm, actually Speedy just copied a recital of the rules done by ME! And it is still quite correct as the operative word was and is "PEOPLE"! I defy you to find ANYONE here who would equate the Consigliori to the CessPool with any form of PEOPLE!

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>And as Consigliori, I was thinking we might ask someone to take Blow Joe fishing on the lake... Ya know what I mean??<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Hah! You must think I'm pretty stupid ... wait, don't answer that ... I know EXACTLY what your plan is pal ... you want to know my secret for catching fish when no one else can.

Joe

[Lars]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

you want to know my secret for catching fish when no one else can.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Did you say pass the dynamite, my Liege?

[bauhaus]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

Havin' a bit of a chat with Peng about our very own Mensch. It occured to me that he should be given the official title of Mutha Beautiful Village Idiot, but Peng responded...

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I say yep, sounds good to me......plus it stops me from receiving that title.

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lars:

Did you say pass the dynamite, my Liege?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Good Lord! Is that what he passed?! It's a wonder he didn't blow his pecker off! A rum thing that!

Sorry, all, for that most uncharacteristic post, but I was just thinking about the Black Adder today, and it struck me that way.

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by bauhaus:

I say yep, sounds good to me......plus it stops me from receiving that title.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Actually, Bauhaus, lad, even though it is a self-assumed title, St. Bauhaus of the Immaculate Thingy is rather a good title. However, in light of your fears, I think you be redubbed St. Bauhaus, Holy Fool of the Peng Challenge Thread. You know, like that holy idjit, St. Francis.

Here, are you going to start preaching sermons to the birds and beasts? Because that would be famous, lad, and way better than your recent posts!

[Seanachai]

Know this, you Knights, and Seniour Knights of the Cesspool, you Squires, and you Serfs, you SSNs, you Confused Visitors, you chortling Lurkers, you...Oh, sod all that for a lark!

Shut up, you lot! And listen to a True Thing.

Shaw, the most useless, annoying, contentious and posturing Seniour Knight on the Peng Challenge Thread, and Justicar to same, has the right of it, and I, even one of the Old Ones, was quite wrong.

For Shaw has again reaffirmed that the joy of belonging to the Peng Challenge Thread is the joy of belonging, and specifically belonging to the Peng Challenge Thread.

And, once again, that most totalitarian, Inquisitorial, and tradition-bound Toad has reaffirmed that:

"Everyone comes naked to the Peng Challenge Thread."

Engrave it above the gate to this Thead of threads, with Ole Foul Joe the gatekeeper.

When you arrive here, you have no possessions, no history, no record of achievements. You come in here just the same as the gods made you: Equally obnoxious, useless, and vile in the eyes of your peers. Equally capable of taunting, amusing and educating those same. Each and every one of you is capable of rising to greatness. Each and every one of you begins as so much ****e. Each and every one of you will only come to post here out of a deep-seated love of this game, and the very magic that surrounds it. Once you realize this, the only logical thing you can do is post at least a quick taunt to an Opponent in the Peng Challenge Thread.

This, I had forgotten. This, I had set aside. Yea, in my very desire to make the Peng Challenge Thread be the very best it could be, I forgot what made it great, and so made it very much less. It is to my shame that in these times of darkness, when even the very Forum which nourishes us and gives us place of precedence is under daily attack from complete and utter morons, that I could so forget my duty to Tradition, to Wit, to the Very Best and Brightest that the Combat Mission Forums can be.

There are those of very much longer standing in the Combat Mission Forum than myself, of contributions greater and more significant, of understandings deeper and more fulsome than I can ever achieve. But many of them have forgotten that Combat Mission is more than a dry, humourless compilation of facts, charts, and the execution of historical theories and parameters. Many of the oldest posters seem to have forgotten that Combat Mission is a Game.

Tonight, I pay tribute to an utterly annoying, useless, and yet...

Now, there is a moment of understanding. Because I was going to type: great American. But that is so much useless ****e. Because what I mean is: Seniour Knight of the Peng Challenge Thread.

Joe Shaw. God knows his endless posturing and demands strain the patience of every human being to the breaking point. But, for those of us cast away here in a World We Never Made, the postings of Joe Shaw are an affirmation. A proof positive that the Universe is yet ours, and yet so droll that even the Best and the Brightest of us have to take our cue from Joe Shaw.

Shaw fella! My error was apparent, my arrogance rank, my apology done up at some length.

Scribe it here, oh thou Justicar:

Everyone comes naked to the Peng Challenge Thread.

Slapdragon:

You have sought entry into one of the oddest clubs in the world today. The Peng Challenge Thread. As I have said before: It is like a group hug, with knives.

I would grant you every courtesy. But some things cannot be granted. Some things can only be achieved.

Knighthood in the Peng Challenge Thread is one of the very strangest things that anyone will ever have to achieve.

SHAW! Note it. Slapdragon should be made to play one hideous, 'I was a teenage Grogwolf' match as a SSN/Serf. Then, and you have the right of it, open the floor to Knights who would sponsor him for Squiredom. Then, let him play out his bid to belong to the Peng Challenge Thread as laid out by Lorak.

The Justicar of the Peng Challenge has spoken.

Someone hit the dim son of a bitch with a fish.

[Leeo]

AAHhh, Cess, sweet Cess!

[Marlow]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

SHAW! Note it. Slapdragon should be made to play one hideous, 'I was a teenage Grogwolf' match as a SSN/Serf. Then, and you have the right of it, open the floor to Knights who would sponsor him for Squiredom. Then, let him play out his bid to belong to the Peng Challenge Thread as laid out by Lorak.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I would like to note that it was I who first proposed that ScrapWagon and BledDead play a SSN battle. I therefore reserve the right to inflict something of my creation on them. In deference to Jo Xia who was quite correct (for once) that nothing even vaguely historical should be wasted on SSN pool dippers, I have created "The Black Forrest." They shall rue the day they ever set foot in the 'Pool once they have started this on.

[dalem]

Salma Hayak: Not Good Enough?

[MrSpkr]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by dalem:

Salma Hayak: Not Good Enough?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Obviously, the snow in that Northern Wasteland you call Home has frozen your brain.

This is not good enough? Or this? How about this?

Not good enough? Yeeesh.

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

I, even one of the Old Ones, was quite wrong.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

While this can be considered true with just about anything you say, it is bad form to actually admit it... methinks it may even go against TRADITION (all cap and bold for the benefit of our justicar).

Now, Sean, on a completely different subject, RESPOND TO MY FLAMIN' E-MAIL!