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Bugger Peng Let's Have A Real Challenge Then!


Speedy

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ALLRIGHTY!

The Bald One has spoken, so here we are down south again. Oi Mace you can bring the flock back inside again, don't know why those effete northerners keep complaining about them being inside.

Now since I am a typical beerswilling, lazy Australian slob I can't be bothered typing up the rules so I will simply cut and paste an earlier version.

So SIT DOWN AND SHUTUP YA MUGS here they are:-

(ii) This is NOT your father's ladder, lad, it's the Peng Challenge Thread and you are NOT worthy and should, frankly, just SOD OFF and be done with it.

(XIV) Are you brain dead? SOD OFF!

(1.43) There are SIX (6) kinds of people in the world, Old Ones, Seniour Knights, Knights, Squires ... Serfs ... and Scum Sucking Newbies (SSNs). All but the last of these are relatively worthy, (the jury's still out on the Serfs but they ARE recognized) but the last, the SSNs are worthless and to be despised by all right thinking individuals. If you are an SSN ... SOD OFF.

(ref. e) You may have come here thinking that you are special and unique among SSNs and that you have What It Takes to be one of us ... YOU ARE WRONG SO SOD OFF.

(B) If you MUST stick around, and we'd much prefer that you just SOD OFF, remember that this is the Peng CHALLENGE Thread, so perhaps you might consider actually CHALLENGING someone to a game of CM. IF you do, and don't overlook the advantages of simply SODDING OFF, remember the following:

{34} Challenge someone of your own stature, which is non-existant, by choosing another SSN, a Serf or perhaps, PERHAPS a squire. How do you find these people you ask ... mostly because you're an idiot ... you find them here:

Loraks' Cesspool Page

{Uiv} SOUND OFF LIKE YA GOT A PAIR! None of this mamby pamby, "Oh please good sir, might I have the honor of participating in a game of CM with you or yours at your earliest convenience?" BAH! This is the place for bile and venom, for taunts and insults and is NOT for children but only for MEN (and a few good WOMEN ... though in my experience BAD WOMEN are to be preferred) of substance, of STYLE, of WIT and HUMOR.

{87/87) Do NOT sound off ABOUT your pair. We tolerate no racial, sexual, political or ethnic crusades ... only good old fashioned PERSONAL attacks.

{Stick Around Damn It, we're tired of people who wander in and waste our time and then never show up again ... or you could just SOD OFF} 1.

{vii} Have Half A Brain, this will be a stretch for most SSNs but give it a shot.

{Don't} think that just because you're good at CM that you have a place HERE! We don't care ... we care about taunting, insulting and generally being Gamey, underhanded swine. That's right ... GAMEY ... we LIKE GAMEY because the Outerboards DON'T.

OK there we have it.

Sir Speedy

www.sirspeedy.com

[ 09-26-2001: Message edited by: Speedy ]

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

FAKE!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Here, I'm inclined to agree. I don't see any postings from Mad Larg Bald Guy as to where our new home is.

And Speedy? He's Australian, for God's sake. Surely we've learned what happens when they take the helm. Although that was a nice posting of the rules.

Still, before I come over all noble and start doing my " 'Tis a far far better thing" in acknowledgement of the just arguments of that swine Shaw, I want to know I'm going to be going all dramatic in the right place.

I'll just have to see what develops.

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Vile nonbelievers!

Hearken to the Word of the Bald One via email.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>

Yeah that works, start the new thread and post the rules. I will come by

later and lock the old one up.

Matt

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

[ 09-26-2001: Message edited by: Speedy ]

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by dalem:

Frikkin' Aussies.

We're upside-down AGAIN!!!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Here, Dalem, help me gather my change up.

And change your profile, you're not from Michigan anymore.

I will be by later for my stirring and damatic concession speech to the Justicar.

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{Ahem} ... {hmmmmmmm} ... {hmmmmmm} right, key of very flat, that should do nicely.

The Ballad of the CessPool

(to the tune of The Ballad of Ivan Petrofsky Skevarr)

The sons of the CessPool are all without shame

And 'twill not abide by a fool,

But most garrulous of all was a man by the name,

Of Seanachai, Bard of the Pool.

If you wanted a brave to twist up a phrase

And treat the poor newbies so cruel,

Or cast rightful doubt, on the brains of the louts,

'twas Seanachai, Bard of the Pool.

This scion of Ireland with wit so aroused

'twas more fearsome than ghostie or ghoul,

A terrible creature, though frequently soused,

Was Seanachai, Bard of the Pool.

There are brave men aplenty, and well known to fame,

Though we'd never suggest that they bore,

But the bravest of all was a man by the name

Of Peng, the Father Confessor

He could sneer with the best, tell a newbie "sod off"

And they'd blanch at the sound of his roar,

In fact quite the cream of the M.B.T. team

Was Peng, the Father Confessor.

'Twas true that none loved him, of that there's no doubt,

And his style with the ladies was poor,

But he'd fry newbie butt, with words cleverly cut,

Our Peng, the Father Confessor.

One day that bold cleric, he left his posh barracks

And with a six pack of O'Douls,

He was going to town, when by fortune he found

Seanachai, Bard of the Pool.

"Peng you foul fellow," our Seanachai bellowed,

"Why carry you that pack of booze?

When I've not a drop, I should give you a bop!"

Cried Seanachai, Bard of the Pool.

"Yes you'd like the O'Douls, I can see from your drool."

Said Peng with contempt to the core.

"But 'tis mine now you see, so you'd best just drink TEA!"

Sneered Peng, the Father Confessor

And the fight thus was on, with an absence of brawn

For both were too pickled by far,

When a hand darted through, and gathered the brew,

'Twas Joe, the wise Justicar.

"Now my lads," soothed Sir Joe, "let's not come to blows.

I'm certain I know what to do.

The Bard can pay Peng, for the half of the thing,

And you'll share like true Knights of the 'Pool.

Then they both beat Joe to within an inch of his life.

thnk you, thnk you very much

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Roborat checking in, Still trying to finish the squire challenge that wouldn't die, someone go kick Foobar a few times for me, I can't find him. And as anybody else hasn't mentioned it, I think that post of Seanipoo's in the last thread must be a new record for sheer volume and verbosity, shouldn't some kind of award (or restraining order) be in order??

Hey Speedy, I know how to play more better now, want to try again???

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I'M BACK!

But only for a short visit, so stop all that bloody cheering. Yes, I'm looking at you Joe Xia.

First things first. all my current vict...um, er... opponents will have to wait a little longer for your next installment of death and dismemberment.

A nasty virus has KO'd the server at my work and that of my home ISP.

I cannot receive nor send turns till god knows when.

I'm not a happy camper.

Toodles.

{edited to fix rage induced grammer errors}

[ 09-26-2001: Message edited by: Stuka ]

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Woot!

Put the billy on, break up the damper and pass it around...the pool's back in god's own country.

Where the men are men, and the sheep and women appreciate it.

Thankyou, Speedy

Err..btw don't for once imagine I hate and despise you any less.

Mace

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace:

Woot!

Put the billy on, break up the damper and pass it around...the pool's back in god's own country.

Where the men are men, and the sheep and women appreciate it.

Thankyou, Speedy

Err..btw don't for once imagine I hate and despise you any less.

Mace<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Who is Billy? What's a damper? Where's my underwear?

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PeterNZer:

I just popped in for a quicky. Like i did with Elvis's wife the other day, anyway..

I'm off to New York next week for 5 weeks of consulting fun fun. So if any of you are there, take me out and get me ****faced. ok?

thanks.

PeterNZ<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Peter, I'll email you my phone number. I'm busy this weekend but maybe we can find a way to get together. I'll try to get Elvis' and MRPeng's attention. Elvis will have to buy the beer though because of a karma issue.

Edited just because.

[ 09-26-2001: Message edited by: Hiram's Ghost ]

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Oh, how I hate you all this morning. The Bald One shot down my suggestion for a new MBT just because it was tasteless, offensive, insensitive, and would probably spawn so many flames and such ill will throughout the forum that CMBB would never be finished.

Fine. I figured I'd just play some friggin' CM, then.

My game with Terence is practically a non-pool game, given that he hasn't appeared in months and months. Plus, the scenario's by that wank Panzer Leader. Still, I cast an eye over it and grimly pressed "GO."

On to a very frustrating QB with that bastard stevetherat. I've halted his "recon" human wave, but he's dropped smoke and is doubtless about to begin the first of his "assault" human waves (of which many I'm sure are to follow--damned cheap Brit infantry!). Okay, plot some moves, send the file.

Next, Berli's aggravating A Long and Bloody Mile, with my untrained Kraut levee trying to stem the flood Joe Shaw's crack Canadians (CANADIANS!) wending their way through the claustrophobic bocage map with an entire Guards Armored Division for support. I hate Canadians, almost as much as I hate Joe. I grit my teeth, plotted the moves and sent the file.

Finally, I started to set up my game with jdmorse, a rune abomination called Cut Off!. A fairly agoraphobia-inducing map: flat, open, night, clusters of trees, lots of fields, a canal... ...and Canadians to defend with! The sheer gall of it--I saw them the last time I tried to set it up, and they were still there this time! CANADIANS! This scenario is almost the exact opposite of Berli's, except in precisely the same way! At this point my wife got home and I was quite relieved to discuss kitchen-remodelling for several hours.

Now I'm here at work, and I hate you all so much I could just SPIT! Excuse me.

[hrNK... ptUI... TING!]

Hey, not bad..

[hrRNK... thptUI!... SPLAT!]

Oops! Gotta go.

Agua Perdido

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The Bald One shot down my titles too!

Why should the only person here with standards, be someone who is not here, I ask?

I am still ill, but managing to send out turns, and never getting any back. The list of shame grows. Peng, jd, Joe Xia, Wildman... 'tis truly a world gone mad when Seanachai is the most reliable correspondent (only because he's blowing me up), and an assortment of scruffy nonpudlians.

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Mark IV says ... oh the shame: The list of shame grows. Peng, jd, Joe Xia, Wildman<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> LYING BASTICHE! I received turn 21 (numbered JUST to annoy Elvis ... we don't NEED to number them ... we can quit anytime we want) on Thursday and sent turn 22 on FRIDAY. Retract your accusation AT ONCE I say or I'll .. I'll ... well, just don't make me, pal.

Joe

{edited for never you mind why}

[ 09-26-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]

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Hiram,I had already consulted with Peter about the possibility of meeting up. I didn't know he was going to be in NY for that long though. I am all for making our lives easier but putting him on a train and dragging him down here..maybe even to watch an Eagles games. If not it never takes much persuading for me to go to NYC.

And yes I would be happy to buy beers but I will insist n the same conditions as Lawyer is. PeterNZ is exempt from the groveling because I owe him beers from when he sent them to me online and he already knows about my CM prowess.

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Down under? Down Under? Why, just the very term makes me hearken back to, well, um, let's see. I think it had something to do with a bar and short skirts.

ANYhoo, UPDATES!

As MrSpkr said, he, er, I mean the game, is nearly finished. Ahhh, all that rain, all that forest, all that night.... Feels like home. However, we did manage to start a raging forest fire in the middle of a rain storm.

BTS Fix or do somfink!

Speaking of night and forest, that city rat Lawyer has issued a restraining order on my fear of him by deciding to log vast stretches of (sniff) Old Growth Forest with HE. He better stay low there in Washington, because he'll soon have the U.S.F.W.S. all over his ass for killing spotted owls, marbled murrelets, wolverines and kit foxes. He has, however, only managed to disrupt a few of my über-German's tree stands.

Berli is the master of fire and thunder (in accordance with his standing in the underworld) as he has been atomizing my brave (but stupid) Brits in a menschian microbattle with lots of hills (that the Brits have to take) surrounding a valley (in which the Brits have to die).

von shrad and I have just started a random battle. I forget at the moment what the parameters are, but suffice it to say that he has already sacrificed a tank upon the altar of fixed positions.

I hate you all more with each passing day,

the reason for this, it is easy to say,

for you whine and you moan and you posture like fools,

but it beats outer-board wrangling ‘bout pre-battle rules.

Now go play in the street.

[ 09-26-2001: Message edited by: Leeo ]

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

Here, Dalem, help me gather my change up.

And change your profile, you're not from Michigan anymore.

I will be by later for my stirring and damatic concession speech to the Justicar.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Fine, fine, I changed it. I would change my age too, since yesterday marked another year of squalling cynicism for me, but that's not part of the profile.

Now I'm officially from Minnesota, weird.

Hey Speedbump!! Did I surrender yet or what? When are you going to start doing the victory dance????

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by RedandDead:

So how about it? Slapdragon perhaps?

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

So how about it? Slapdragon perhaps?

Yes! That is exactly what the doctor ordered for Sackdragin and DeadRed. A battle of the SSNs. And no Squiredom for Slappy unless he posts full AARs of the battle. It just so happens that I have just the thing for the two wet behind the ears pool dippers.

Oh, MrSpky, I know this may be hard for you to comprehend since you are from Texas and all (maybe Oklahoma, but what’s the difference really), but when you tell me that you will send a turn tomorrow, and never shows up, I don't owe you a turnYOU OWE ME A TURN (sorry for yelling).

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>It just so happens that I have just the thing for the two wet behind the ears pool dippers.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Well now wait just a minute, we STILL have an un-completed battle that needs to be done for our entertainment. Arty Fest '45 was terminated before a conclusion could be determined.

Now Arty Fest '45 is a Made For the CessPool battle ... what sort of contest are you suggesting? If it's longer than 10 turns or so we'll likely lose interest ... in fact considering the two contestants we'll probably lose it much sooner than that. You see Marlow, a Made for the CessPool battle is more than just a goofy scenario, it has to fit into our busy schedule.

Joe

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Jo Xia:

If it's longer than 10 turns or so we'll likely lose interest ... in fact considering the two contestants we'll probably lose it much sooner than that.

Joe<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

My thoughts exactly. It is a 15 turn, semi-historical battle that is not too big (1200 point German attack). I thought we force Slappy to play the Uber-Germans.

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