Bill Paxton as patron saint of the Peng Challenge Thread

[MrSpkr]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Wildman:

I see you convinently left out the ass kicking your receiving at my heavy hand, you worthles Tejas git!

Send me your surrender, foo!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oh, sorry, I forgot, probably BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T SENT ME A TURN, YOU SIMP!

In the interest of being complete, I must say I'm also preparing to beat the tar out of Berli in the tournament thingie.

[imported_Wildman]

You buck-toothed, where's my trailer house, Texas loser. I sent your file the very next day.

I just resent it because I don't want to you have any excuse,;you simpering, BBQ, Cowboy Fan!

[Leeo]

AAAAAAAHHHHhrrrggg.. My Eyes! Forgive me Father Peng (and not in that intimate, "tussle-of-the-cloth-and-let's-not-tell-anyone, candle-boy" Fatherly sort of way), for I have sinned. Wandering the desolate waste of the Boards Outré, I have discovered that they hath made Armageddon out of an armadillo, and hath brought one brother's mouse against another brother's keyboard. Mountains of postings and tussles over naught. I have sinned in the first degree for giving the merest glimmer of interest, let alone coherent thought and action, towards the inflated, contrived, and impassioned meanderings of the grogs, tourns, and arseholes that find their egos in a computer screen.

UPDATES!

jd is starting to learn that if you have an infinite amount of attacking Frenchmen, then the most visionary manhooverings of Patton, Genghis Khan, and Alexander the Great are bound to manifest themselves in due time. Bastiche.

MrSpkr is going to learn that it is very important to examine the entire map prior to setting one’s forces to defend a bridge in a river-crossing scenario. The Feldgrau wave is subsuming is forces from the rear, and are currently in the business of doing the equivalent of the English serfs at Agincourt, i.e., thrusting killing things through the weak points of disadvantaged armor. Bastiche.

Elvis, the numerically incensed (and don’t you just love him for it?) has lost a Panther to a lucky frontal shot from a Jackson (which paid the ultimate price) . He asked me once if I was having armor troubles, to which I replied, “No armor, No troubles!” He is soon to learn that armor troubles can happen to anybody, even a Hetzer (nice pic of the Hetzer you sent, by the way). Bastiche.

Deke ”the alliterative” Fenkle has been getting his arse kicked by yours truly in a 3000 pt ME. Methinks he doesn’t know what strategy is, unless it involves reinforced concrete. No pillboxes here, so he’s all verklempt. Bastiche.

Aitken Hmm, it appears that due to the increasing amount of chaos in the system, my mail is not able to communicate with his mail. Such a shame, too, as I was on the cusp of kicking his arse royally as the attacker in a river crossing scenario by Rune. AITKEN! Any of the mail I send to you gets bounced back. I resent turn 60, and when that didn’t work, I replayed your resent turn 59, and mailed that[/] to you (as per your request). No dice, as it all keeps getting bounced back to me. Go figure. Let’s get it worked out so I can finish you off. Bastiche.

Oh, and just for the rest of you, I say Feh! I don’t post on a regular basis (consider me as an “Oort Cloud” poster to the MBT), but This Thread helps to protect my sanity from the periodic, and more and more often mistaken, dips into the Outer Boards (as if they deserve capitalization).

Now go tell someone who gives a care.

Leeo

[ 07-27-2001: Message edited by: Leeo; and Why? Because he likes to give the impression that he really gives a flying feck. Bastiches.]

[jd]

Ahhh Elvis, what turn number would that be. Was it "Youragameybatard" or the liting and haunting "Surethinglollipop" Hmmmmmm?

and leeoooooooooooooouch if your gun crews would stop shooting at crews 180 degrees from the action, you might avoid getting flanked

...as for the rest, feh and double feh. At 50 I get to be a curmudgeon and might even send back a turn if the metamucil kicks in, Feh!

[MrSpkr]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Wildman:

You buck-toothed, where's my trailer house, Texas loser. I sent your file the very next day.

I just resent it because I don't want to you have any excuse,;you simpering, BBQ, Cowboy Fan!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Cowboy fan?

It is to laugh. I hope you end up in a tiny North Dakota town that only provides a 28.8kb internet access and on a base with an anal rententive commander who will not allow you to use the military email for your personal business, you malodorous meatbag.

[Goanna]

As me ole pappy used to say "Jesus H jumped up Keerist".

I take a couple of days off to travel between there and here and miss all the best pissing contests. OK, so after reading the combined detritus of locked threads and our own lovely home (what's that smell?), I only want to add:

wussies

I hope Germanboy can put me on his dance card soon, because I really love getting beat up by a pro.

Now, on to business at hand. I am in need of a map for the perusal of the closet numerologist and myself in the dreaded Blood Hmaster. mensch if you could pull your thumb out and send something to both Elvis and I we can get at hazard forthwith (but certainly not fourthwith). Berli has already moved onto the next step, so we are just waiting on you untermensch

Finally, if any of you want to continue our current stouches will you please send me whatever you have currently as i couldn't be bothered swapping and sorting which are which from the laptop.

This means YOU Moriarty, OGSF, Shaw, Lorak and Agua

[**YK2**]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by David Aitken:

Apparently the film I'm thinking of doesn't exist. Righto then.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Says it all really.

[ 07-28-2001: Message edited by: YK2 ]

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Herr Oberst:

he might actually scrub the floor for us, lord knows (apologies Berli) the floor needs it.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

No apology necessary... it is, after all, a good cause

[PawBroon]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by David Aitken:

I saw a film he co-starred in, the name was (checks)... I can't work out what the name was, but he was a smalltown Sherriff who has to prove himself to a couple of patronising FBI agents.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

That would me One false move.

Great one.

Starred with Billy Bob as in A simple plan.

Speaking of Paxton, if he gets mad at his agent, do I have to give all my DVD back?

[Stalin's Organ]

WHAT SORT OF PISSY WEAK BOWELED WATERY **** TITLE IS THIS??

Jeez - a SSN Spokesgit doesn't post for a couple of days and all the lilly livered poxy-skinned old fart wrinkleys come out of the overflow pipe and stink the place up!!

Oh yeah...and all the SS were pansies but I'm feked if that's worth making a kaynigit out of me!

Pathetic wussy losers the lot of em.....

especially itching boy - as many have observed, his tactical competance is only marginally lower than a rats arse. Dunno what he's doing tho - his panzer division is hidden by a big hill and he's taken to hiding his remaining Marders!

Unfortunately Mouse is back on line, so I have to suffer him now too - but at least those games are enjoyable in a Ghengis Khan sort of way!

Oh yeah, and the best hing about this thread is always going to be the Hog Gold lager that's dissppearing down my gullet as I write this!

And what the fek is this idea that there's grades of Orztralians? Who the bloody hell grades excrement??!!

Macey Gray may hold himself above Westies, but let's face it - who cares if the dung beetles have a hierachy!

Piss on the lot of you - but ESPECIALLY YU JIMMI'

[ 07-28-2001: Message edited by: Stalin's Organ ]

[BFCElvis]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> Ahhh Elvis, what turn number would that be. Was it "Youragameybatard" or the liting and haunting "Surethinglollipop" Hmmmmmm? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

How bout the last one you played. The turn before that is not needed by me for us to continue forward in our game...only the most recent turn is needed. Thank you.

Lizardboy, I am almost at the point of sendig the units selection blindly without seeing the map. My blood lust is boiling over.

[Lawyer]

Message to David Aitken

Shut yer pastie hole up around CM modmakers. Better yet, stay away from them entirely. They don't need your turds in their punchbowl.

Now, I'll survive the loss of Tiger since I have all his mods that I want. But if you get near Marco Bergman or Magua, I will personally phone the Daily Express and tell them you are Jeffrey Archer's boy toy. Got it?? (BTW, truth is an absolute defense against libel)

So keep staring at yer 8-bit color palette at 256x256 and lying to yourself that it must be good because it looks so crappy.

Ya Tony Blair look-a-like git! You probably have posters of Princess Di and Claire all over your room. Why don't ya got out and throw rocks at the asian youths in yer neighborhood instead of causing trouble on the forum!

[MrPeng]

Didn't Mr Paxton wet himself in True Lies?

[Moriarty]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Goanna:

As me ole pappy used to say "Jesus H jumped up Keerist".

I take a couple of days off to travel between there and here and miss all the best pissing contests. OK, so after reading the combined detritus of locked threads and our own lovely home (what's that smell?), I only want to add:

wussies

I hope Germanboy can put me on his dance card soon, because I really love getting beat up by a pro.

Now, on to business at hand. I am in need of a map for the perusal of the closet numerologist and myself in the dreaded Blood Hmaster. mensch if you could pull your thumb out and send something to both Elvis and I we can get at hazard forthwith (but certainly not fourthwith). Berli has already moved onto the next step, so we are just waiting on you untermensch

Finally, if any of you want to continue our current stouches will you please send me whatever you have currently as i couldn't be bothered swapping and sorting which are which from the laptop.

This means YOU Moriarty, OGSF, Shaw, Lorak and Agua<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Have you cleared out yer verdammt mailbox yet, LizardGit? No point in sending if they just keep bouncing back. You should set a priority where my incoming takes priority over and pushes out mail from, say, Joe Pshaw.

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>"Bryl-Creem, a little dab will do ya,

"Bryl-Creem, you'll look so debonair,

"Bryl-Creem, the gals will all pursue ya,

"They love to run their fingers through your hair."<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

(a) Is this still a real product?

( Who ELSE can still remember it? Talk about your Blast From The Past, jeeze I feel old ... wait a minute ... I AM old.

Goanna, and to which email address shall we address our missives oh globe trotting wonder? The "I'm NEVER home but it will get there" address or the "I'm frequently here but it will bounce my email because it's from an infidel" address?

Oh ... which turn number was the last one you had ... hehehehe ... isn't Elvis cute (in a baby seal just before you club it to death way) when he gets all red and his eyes bulge out like that?

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>You should set a priority where my

incoming takes priority over and pushes out mail from, say, Joe Pshaw.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Right then, MORTUARY I've about had it with you. I make it practice to bold AND correctly spell the names of Knights and Squires to the CessPool, not as a gesture of respect (I hold you ALL in equal contempt ... well, some are more contemptible than others) but as a nod to tradition and STATION in life. That you should continue to make sport of my noble name is an insult that is not to be borne (or born, I forget which). I expect a full apology forthwith ... or cash, either will do.

Joe

{edited to add venom toward MORTUARY}

[ 07-28-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]

[Moriarty]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lawyer:

Message to David Aitken

Shut yer pastie hole up around CM modmakers. Better yet, stay away from them entirely. They don't need your turds in their punchbowl.

Now, I'll survive the loss of Tiger since I have all his mods that I want. But if you get near Marco Bergman or Magua, I will personally phone the Daily Express and tell them you are Jeffrey Archer's boy toy. Got it?? (BTW, truth is an absolute defense against libel)

So keep staring at yer 8-bit color palette at 256x256 and lying to yourself that it must be good because it looks so crappy.

Ya Tony Blair look-a-like git! You probably have posters of Princess Di and Claire all over your room. Why don't ya got out and throw rocks at the asian youths in yer neighborhood instead of causing trouble on the forum!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Aitken didn't cause Tiger to do anything he wasn't planning to do anyway, in terms of leaving (either for good or for awhile).

I will grant you, though, that telling an artist that his work and long hours in a given medium essentially has no meaning or value probably will get you the Cartmanesque "screw you, I'ma goin' home" response.

As a flame war goes, it was lame -- certainly not enough to warrant leaving the board based solely on that.

[Mark IV]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrPeng:

Didn't Mr Paxton wet himself in True Lies?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Yes, when Jamie Lee Curtiss stuck her lipstick container in his back, pretending it was a gun. What do I win?

[Lawyer]

Joe Shaw

I haven't seen Bryl-Creem in a while, but then again I haven't been looking for it either. It was around in the 60's.

I thought about doing the Wild Root Cream Oil jingle, but I couldn't remember it. Seanachai would be the only around here old enough to know it well. But I did use Wild Root when I was a kid.

I couldn't recall the Preparation H jingle either, which would be more appropriate. How about:

"Plop, plop, fizz, fizz;

"Oh, what a relief it is..."

Moriarity

Don't make me come across the room at you!!

Aitken knows he's guilty, and he's probably proud of it too. When he assumes his Victorian Judgement Attitude, trouble always happens. I suspect he is also the git who annoyed Manx by complaining about the lack of historical accuracy in some of the items on Combat Missions, which is simply the best support site going out them. (Der Kessel is next, but not many mods).

The trouble is boredom in Scotland, or wherever Aitken abides. That's why I'm encouraging him to become a street fightin' man, or else get some tips from Mace on sheep buggering. Scotland has plenty of those to spare.

[Buzzsaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> Originally written by Herr Oberst:

I saw we deny him his CM fix on the grounds of bad form and watch him writhe around on the floor for the weekend. If we throw some soap down on top of him, he might actually scrub the floor for us, lord knows (apologies Berli) the floor needs it.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well, I can always head outside the Cesspool to find a match. I am just fearful that I will end up playing a pimple faced 15 year old who wants to discuss Britney Spears, or cantankerous grog who wants to discuss muzzle velocities. While either one would present a much better CM challenge then Elvis or Berlichtingen, I had originally thought that I might find one the two nights more amusing to play. As for using my delirium tremors to scrub the floor, I think you can skip the soap, as the froth pouring from my mouth should do nicely

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally written by MrSpkr:

Lots of silly rules and very little of real interest<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Now these supposed rules really are amusing. They are just a feeble attempt to impose some order on the chaos that actually rules the Cesspool (and that rules inside that vacuous melon on top of your shoulders). Senior knights, hah! You are all a bunch of horses’ patooties. Trying to identify the lower order knights in this lot is like trying to fish the stinkiest turd from the toilet bowl. If your mindless quoting of these “rules” identifies you as that turd, I’d be happy to give you a lesson in both CM tactics and original thinking.

[MrSpkr]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Bugsdoll:

Well, I can always head outside the Cesspool to find a match.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Yes. Wonderful idea. Plod along, then.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I am just fearful that I will end up playing a pimple faced 15 year old who wants to discuss Britney Spears,<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Exactly why none of the kaniggets have any desire to respond to you, let alone play you. Feel fortunate I am bored enough today to remind you of your proper place in life.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>or cantankerous grog who wants to discuss muzzle velocities.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Watch your language, punk, or I'll have Mouse dress you in wool pyjamas and sic Mace on you.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> Wahhh! Don't post rules with big words in them because I cain't rede so gud. We ain't got none of that high-falutin newfangled readin' down here in the Amazon.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

'Nuff said. Go home little boy.

[ 07-28-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ]

[Moriarty]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Right then, MORTUARY I've about had it with you. I make it practice to bold AND correctly spell the names of Knights and Squires to the CessPool, not as a gesture of respect (I hold you ALL in equal contempt ... well, some are more contemptible than others) but as a nod to tradition and STATION in life. That you should continue to make sport of my noble name is an insult that is not to be borne (or born, I forget which). I expect a full apology forthwith ... or cash, either will do.

Joe

{edited to add venom toward MORTUARY}

[ 07-28-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

There you go with that gnat nattering again.

Well, then, Sir Joe Shaw, Persecutor of the One True CessPool, it is apparent that you are intent on changing long-standing 'Pool tradition, specifically the bastarrrd-ization of one's nick, or did I miss that in the Code of Conduct? I was looking for it by chapter and verse, but that little wanker Elvis got there first and did away with all the numbers and such. Next thing you know, MrSpkr will steal all the vowels. Feh! Back to the topic at hand, I propose a little tilt at the quintain (or windmill, if you prefer). I suggest, Sir Kanigget, this shall be resolved on the field of dishonor.

State your terms, Sir Guffaw!

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>"Plop, plop, fizz, fizz;

"Oh, what a relief it is..."<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh please, at least give me a challenge! The product was Alka Seltzer and the Spokesman,/thing was Speedy Alka Seltzer.

And while ScuzzBall may protest, I note that he apparently took MrSpkr's warning to heart and bolded the names of the Knights. Unfortunately, since he is a SSN he is not eligible for that honor nor may he even have his name spelled properly (see above). However, it must be remembered that before MrSpkr, Speedbump and many others were Knights, they were Squires, and before that ... yes ... SSN themselves. There is hope ScuzzBall, well, not for YOU but in general.

Joe

[MrPeng]

Simon Fox?! SIMON FOX??!! Damn straight he is a Knigget. His tauntings and ravings go way back. Hell he is even more vicious and pugnacious than moi. That guy was a knigget before Pshaw married his first mormon wife. He was a knigget when Mace was but a wittle wamb. If my feeble memory serves me correctly he contributed to either the "awful truth about smilies" or "cabbages and kings" threads. and with malice aforethought. Anyone here who has the temerity to suggest that Mr Fox is not by right and duty a knigget of the pool will have to listen to ABBA's "Waterloo" for 48 hours without pause.

Peng

[Pzman]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Oh please, at least give me a challenge! The product was Alka Seltzer and the Spokesman,/thing was Speedy Alka Seltzer.

Joe<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hum how about not. Now you all can give me a kick in the ass.

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Well, then, Sir Joe Shaw, Persecutor of the One True CessPool, it is apparent that you are intent on changing long-standing 'Pool tradition, specifically the bastarrrd-ization of one's nick, or did I miss that in the Code of Conduct? I was looking for it by chapter and verse, but that little wanker Elvis got there first and did away with all the numbers and such. Next thing you know, MrSpkr will steal all the vowels. Feh!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> FEH! to you too then. As to the rule about proper spelling, it's one that I made up, being a Seniour Knight I have that right. Why you ask? I'm gald you asked. There are TWO (2) reasons (enumerated to annoy Elvis). First (1st) While showing respect FOR THE PERSON is clearly out of the question, it does show respect FOR THE CESSPOOL AND THE INSTITUTION OF KNIGHTHOOD. It's much the same as saluting the uniform, not the man. And Second (2nd) it's old hat, boring, sophmoric, passe and JUST NOT ON anymore. So there you have it.

I should also point out that my CORRECT title is Prosecutor and Protector of The One The True CessPool, pay attention.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Back to the topic at hand, I propose a little tilt at the quintain (or windmill, if you prefer). I suggest, Sir Kanigget, this shall be resolved on the field of dishonor.

State your terms, Sir Guffaw!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh fine, so I'm supposed to just DROP everything I'm doing and add yet another game to my already overflowing plate just to PROVE to the world what they already know ... THAT YOU'RE AN OVERBLOWN WINDBAG WITH PRETENTIONS OF GRANDEUR FOR REASONS THAT ARE BEYOND COMPREHENSION. Hell I've turned down games with less annoying people than you but FINE!

Is there a Knight ... (KNIGHT Panzer Leader, Knight, we don't want a game from a Squire) who can provide us with something interesting? No damn SNOW this time (Berli, you're such a swine) and how about something other than a ME and other than some scenario that Salvador Dali might have created (Peng is a swine too).

Joe