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Bill Paxton as patron saint of the Peng Challenge Thread


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Hang on, was I just defamed by Lawyer? Look here, you stuffed suit, aren't you supposed to wait until someone else does the defamation bit, and then jump in and screw one (or preferably both) parties for every penny they're worth? Exceeding our authority a bit, aren't we? Leave morality to the humans, now back to the gutter with you.

Leeo, I don't know why you're e-mails aren't getting through, but everyone else's are (except maybe armornut's, but I'm assuming he's just done a vanishing act), so it's obviously your ISP's fault. Try sending me a mail without an attachment and see if that gets through, and then maybe ask someone from your part of the world (maybe the same ISP if you can) to mail me and see if that works. Failing that, put the file in a floppy disc and send it by post. :D

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Simon Fox?! SIMON FOX??!! Damn straight he is a Knigget. His tauntings

and ravings go way back. Hell he is even more vicious and pugnacious than moi. That guy was a knigget before Pshaw married his first mormon wife. He was a knigget when Mace was but a wittle wamb. If my feeble memory serves me correctly he contributed to either the "awful truth about smilies" or "cabbages and kings" threads. and with malice aforethought.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Peng, here's a thought, try to connect with REALITY for a change. Just because your name is on the thread doesn't mean that it's YOUR thread. YOU don't decide who IS and ISN'T a Knight. Lord Lorak shows neither hide nor hair of Simon Says and therefore HE IS NO KNIGHT, NOR SQUIRE, NOR EVEN SERF! What may or may not have happened, either in reality or in another of your drug induced flashbacks, has NOTHING to do with KNGIHTHOOD. Now I admit that he shows promise, but tradition must be served and this willy-nilly, catch-as-catch-can, make 'em Knights JUST 'CAUSE nonsense has to STOP!

Further, one of the prime directives of the CessPool is that member must ... hello ... BE HERE! Where has Simon Says been for the last umptyfratz incarnations of the thread? Where, indeed, has he been for the last few PAGES OF THIS ONE? He is, pay attention, NOT HERE, AWOL and GONE MISSING. Now we can forgive the odd nod to real life and grant a miss to those who are gone for weeks but HE IS NEVER HERE. Is such a creature to be granted the privilege of calling himself a Knight of the CessPool? I SAY NAY!

Joe

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

(a) Is this still a real product?

(B) Who ELSE can still remember it? Talk about your Blast From The Past, jeeze I feel old ... wait a minute ... I AM old.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Indeed Bryl-Creem is STILL a real product only now they have made it all modern it's called Brylcreem styling wax, For performance Hair...

And here in the UK the lyrics for Alka seltzer.

Alka Seltzer speedy Alka Seltzer,

Alka Seltzer takes the pain away.....

Also something similar to Alka Seltzer available in Scotland (never seen it elsewhere)

A, B, D, I, N, E,

Abdine is the drink for me

If you drink it you will see its

ABC...

Sheesh....... Now I feel old as well Joe....

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

...blather...Is there a Knight ... (KNIGHT Panzer Leader, Knight...more blather...

Joe<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You know, it just so happens that I indeed HAVE finished the prerequisite five games, though I would not be so presumptious to demand kaniggethood, maybe just point it out, so to speak.

On top of the aforementioned, I think it has been proved beyond a shadow of doubt that I am also the wittiest person here, with the possible exception of Pawbroon (nobody can tell for sure).

But to your question at hand. I have a well-devised, tested and difficult scenario about the greates battle of the war, the Guns of Navarone, which has the Germans, thinly spread, but in posession of a mountain and some big guns, up against the better part of an Allied division.

If that is not suited to your taste, I am finalized my second scenario, which has its roots in an old show by the name of "Rat Patrol". Of course, it is not in the desert, but rather the hilly lands of southeast France. It is a true meeting engagement by recon elements of both allied and Axis forces, who both are given the same task of scouting a corridor for the advancement of each of their armies into the enemy's rear (down Mace.)

This one will be ready for testing tonight, ands it looks to be very fun. A long narrow map, spread out flags (to depict the recon) and no huge tanks, just jeeps and half tracks and men. Of course, there are some surprises...

Drop me a line if anyone wants to try it, and if you can wait until tonight. It is also balanced for head to head.

Now, sod off, the lot of you, except for See'im Prayer, who is my friend.

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To add one little bit to the above, I distinctly feel that my sire, Sir Seanachai in his weakened and addle-witted state, can offer me nothing in the way of future instructions. What were once epic treatises on the origins and meaning of The Mutha Beautiful has slipped into a state of whining recollection of the good ol' days, inter-mixed with musings on the pan-flute and its influence on modern fusion jazz.

ACK!

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

To add one little bit to the above, I distinctly feel that my sire, Sir Seanachai in his weakened and addle-witted state, can offer me nothing in the way of future instructions. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Indeed, perhaps your squiredom should be transferred to JoeShaw, since you are both apparently paid by the word, and you are both severely delusional, he of his authority and grandeur, and you regarding the merest milligram of self-worth, despite abundant evidence to the contrary.

Regarding the controversial kannigetorialization of SimonFox: Before another bitter and divisive debate threatens our placid cess, I point out that M. Fox occasionally attempts to comment with authority in the OB on Serious Matters, particularly regarding Brit armor, and is thus widely esteemed as a Commongrog. The greatest disservice we can do him is to grant the coveted kannigetoriality, thereby destroying whatever credibility he may have with awe-struck newbie scum, BTS, and Lewis.

For this reason (and the possibility of further annoying Shaw) I fourth his nomination and immediate appointment. Lorak, append the roll, let the rectal fanfare sound, and greet our kanewest kanigget, Sir SimonFox of the Welded Mantlet.

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Mark I agree with you of course for several reasons including but not limited to "because Shaw has the opposite point of view" and Simon Fox has been pissing people off on this board almost as long as I have. He had several memorable bouts with Fionn and (my favorite which I have told him before) when he basically told the entire board they were crybabies and the game will be out when it's out so everyone quit crying.

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Lorak, append the roll, let the rectal

fanfare sound, and greet our kanewest kanigget, Sir SimonFox of the Welded Mantlet.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh, aren't we just full of ourselves then, aren't we just the lord and bloody master of the whole bleedin' CessPool?

Well let me tell you boyo, you can slice and dice it all you like, but the facts are out there and it's obvious that there is a conspiracy afoot! That's right a conspiracy to raise to Knighthood someone else from THE OUTER BOARDS! Without so much as a by your leave, with nary a thought to the consequences and with ever so much blather and circumlocution to conceal the fact.

My fellow CessPoolers, is it not obvious, even to Bauhaus? First Seanachai goes to the Outerboards and absolutely RECRUITS grogs to join us and be granted full rights to the CessPool without any restrictions. Why he even offerred one of them, and the WINNER of their bloody tourney no less, elevation to Seniour Knight! Now we have the self same Seanachai AND Peng AND Mark IV ALL lobbying for this Simonized Floss to be made a Knight for what ... for being an admitted Grog and Outerboarder! What have they offered you chaps? A VICTORY OR TWO no doubt, something that YOU would find worthwhile. Maybe they'll allow you to post your thoughts on the traverse speed of the Puma eh?

What's next? Is LoserName to be given Lorak's web site? Will Heil DaMan be appointed chief scenario designer? Will ALL games have to be approved by the GROG HEAVY CessPool heirarchy? I tell you friends, this is just the FIRST STEP in their campaign to remake, nay to DESTROY the CessPool.

It's clear to me that Seanachai, Peng and Mark IV have been BOUGHT AND PAID FOR BY THE OUTERBOARDERS. Finally the Outerboarders have their chance to rid themselves of the CessPool. And how? By that most devious and time honored trick of destroying the enemy FROM WITHIN! Can you not hear the sounds of the sappers digging beneath our walls? Do you not see the charges being planted at our gates? Will you ignore the imposters who pose as our own when they are naught but TRAITORS!

TO ARMS, TO ARMS, FIRE, FOES, THE ENEMY IS UPON US!

Sir Joe Shaw, Prosecutor and Protector of The One The True CessPool

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Joe Shaw -

Calm down. I think its just something in the water. If the silly gits would just stick to beer or scotch, they would be fine.

As to your request for a scenario, I have one I should be finishing up this afternoon that I need playtested. It is called "Weissenhof Crossroads", and is one of those 'opening fights in the battle of the bulge' types. There will either be light snow falling or light snow on the ground (I have to check the map and see how it looks), a stream, a big forest, a big hill, and lots of big shootie thingies. Interested?

Oh, yes, before I forget, I find it amusing that Mouse contineus to defy the laws of social evolution by lowering his declared friends from the likes of Joey's Piano to See-them-Spay-her. Might be an interesting case study for any budding sociologists out there.

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lawyer:

Moriarity

Don't make me come across the room at you!!

(Der Kessel is next, but not many mods).

The trouble is boredom in Scotland, or wherever Aitken abides. That's why I'm encouraging him to become a street fightin' man, or else get some tips from Mace on sheep buggering. Scotland has plenty of those to spare.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

OK, Lawyer, let's take this from the top.

First, if you're coming across at me, you better be carrying a martini, a proper one with the vermouth; a G&T -- well, gimlets ain't bad either ; or a single malt scotch or all of the above, boyo. And a laptop for a game or two, too. And bring some for yourself.

Second, knowing a few of the fine folk at Der Kessel, I can't think of a one who would be intimidated or in any way riled into petulance by Aitken and his occasional lapses into Grognardism ... or anybody elses for that matter.

And, third, well, you just may be onto something there. The Aussies had to learn it from somewhere, I guess.

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by David Aitken:

Hang on, was I just defamed by Lawyer? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

As I said, truth is not libel. I still think you look a little tooooo much like Tony Blair. Coincidence? I doubt it.

And you didn't deny that you journey to Althorpe every weekend to add to your Princess Di collection.

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lawyer:

As I said, truth is not libel. I still think you look a little tooooo much like Tony Blair. Coincidence? I doubt it.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

LOL. :D And what do you look like.

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>An old, mad, blind, despised, and dying Persecutor* pounded:

...it's obvious that there is a conspiracy afoot!... Now we have the self same Seanachai AND Peng AND Mark IV ALL lobbying for this Simonized Floss to be made a Knight for what ... for being an admitted Grog and Outerboarder! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

8) The Outer Boarders fear him.

III. It will piss you off.

2) It may piss HIM off.

1.3.1: He was pissing people off before it was fashionable, before there was a Cesspool, and probably before there was a CM. I found him mildly annoying long before I read his first post. That is a considerable talent.

xi. Anything causing that much consternation and ill-will is worth doing.

* Isn't Milton just the greatest? I think I'll knight him next. Of course he's quite dead, making for a better choice of dinner companion than either Shaw or SimonFox.

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Joe Shaw - Calm down. I think its just something in the water. If the silly gits would just stick to beer or scotch, they would be fine.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> It's far, far too late to calm down, though the beer does sound good right about now, all that shouting has given me quite a raw throat. But I'm a reasonable man and will promptly admit when I'm proven to be wrong ... so let the Terrible Trio PROVE that they haven't been in cahoots with the Outerboard and we'll drop the whole thing.

You'll note that Mark IV didn't deny any of my charges but merely suggested that since it was something Salmonella Fox (sounds like a stripper doesn't it) wouldn't like, then we should do it. Has he never seen "Song of the South"? "Oh PLEASE, Brer Fox, please don't throw me into that briar patch, please don't do that!" No wonder he was so easily taken into the conspiracy. But then the outerboarders were no doubt looking for the simple, unquestioning, rather dim bulbs for recruits.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>As to your request for a scenario, I have one I should be finishing up this afternoon that I need playtested.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> That should do as well as anything. I fail to understand the fascination of people for the Bulge scenarios but since it's likely hotter than Hades down in Texas right now and maybe it serves to cool you. Shoot it along.

Joe

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Lawnmower wrote:

I still think you look a little tooooo much like Tony Blair. Coincidence? I doubt it.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Allegations notwithstanding, at least I have some taste in headwear.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>And you didn't deny that you journey to Althorpe every weekend to add to your Princess Di collection.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I don't even know where Althorpe is, or that it has anything to do with Princess Diana. Presumably that's an area of expertise for you?

lawyer2.jpg

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Now we have the self same Seanachai AND Peng AND Mark IV ALL lobbying for this Simonized Floss to be made a Knight for what ... for being an admitted Grog and Outerboarder! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You left me out of the list. As I see it, we have The Elders all in accord. The last time that happened, the MBT formed from the void. Each and every one of you are simply figments of our warped (and heavily lubricated) minds. If Peng, seanachai and I (oh, and that figment of our imagination Mark IV) claim Simon Fox to be a knight, it really out weighs the opinion of one Joe Shaw (who is no doubt the product of Peng's indigestion).

[ 07-28-2001: Message edited by: Berlichtingen ]

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I vote for MrSimonFox because he's DREAMY! Kind of like a cross between a young Paul McCartney and a middle-aged Sean (but not all old and wrinkled wizzened and ugly) Connery with a bit of Dame Edna thrown in just for lots of giggles smile.gifsmile.gifsmile.gif !

Kisses everyone! EVEN YOUJoeI never met a Mormon Wife I didn't like and I have several of their heads mounted in my trophy room to prove itShaw! :D

Ta Ta for Now, boys and girls!

MrHappy

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Now THAT'S LIBEL Aitken. Doctoring photo's will get you in jail... or worse... a personal visit from the Pool's Euro Hitman, mensch.

I shall be forced to send you a scenario where you play the short-pants, short-sighted, short-armed, and generally short witted English. I do it for My Honor, and to pay back the Evil Empire for my ex-wife(s).

I also do it to see your tanks and troops blow up in finely detailed bits and pieces with MY BEAUTIFUL HI-RES MODS. All you will see is a bunch of blocky cartoons. But then that fits you and your whole comic book lifestyle.

"Look Mom, there's a funny looking guy standing out front wearing a big "A" on his butt that he says stands for Aitken Man!"

"No, dear, that's just the weirdo next door, and the "A" is sewn to his butt so he can find it in an emergency. ALL of A-Man's butt searches are emergencies, so it's very useful to him and the community. Now go to your room before he exposes his "A" again."

BTW, A-Man, if you need permission to stay up late enough to play the game, I'll send your mother a note.

The Hand of the Law Cometh

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>You left me out of the list.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh, so YOU'RE in on the conspiracy TOO! I might have guessed that pure EVIL would enjoy the torment of the masses this will cause. And what's this ELDER crap? I'm a Seniour Knight too you know, not to mention Prosecutor and Protector of The One The True CessPool.

But I am not, as I said, an unreasonable man. As a compromise I propose that this Fox chap be given a status comparable with that of Lawyer who, as Consigliori to the CessPool, is accorded all rights and privileges of being a Knight without actually BEING a Knight.

I further propose that he be given the title of Official Grog of the CessPool. Not only will this annoy the hell out of him, being affiliated with the CessPool, but will further diminish the status of Grogs in general. His opinions will, of course, be ignored but on our recon forays into the outerboards we should be sure to refer to him OFTEN by his title.

Joe

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by David Aitken:

Is the game presentable as evidence in a court of law? Do I need an attorney to issue writs in the event that you attempt underhand gamey moves?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You'll need all that and more. The beautiful thing about the law is that you lose even when you win. But don't fret, you won't be winning.

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

As a compromise I propose that this Fox chap be given the title of Official Grog of the CessPool. Not only will this annoy the hell out of him, being affiliated with the CessPool, but will further diminish the status of Grogs in general. His opinions will, of course, be ignored but on our recon forays into the outerboards we should be sure to refer to him OFTEN by his title.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hehe. Diabolical. I like it.

Now, Lawyer, I believe we were negotiating a game when you dropped all communications. If you have time to get into a spitting match with a useless git like Aitken, you have time to propose a scenario. If you don't have one, I'm sure Berli or somesuch can come up with something (DOWN Mouse, I don't want the 'Guns I Never Won' or whatever it is. I want something challenging to both parties).

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Oh, so YOU'RE in on the conspiracy TOO! I might have guessed that pure EVIL would enjoy the torment of the masses this will cause. Joe<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I think I'm in it too. I don't have a title I think, I'm just here to kill people.

Which brings me to:

In order for me to be able to continue killing you I need someone to send me 1 (one) zipped copy of the program MS-DOS. This is not a joke, I need it to install Windows ME which I need to play CM.

please send it asap to njn@home.se.

Thank you, and remember if anyone could give the term Die-A-Lot a face, Bill would be the man. Bill is our friend.

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Geier:

I think I'm in it too. I don't have a title I think, I'm just here to kill people.

Which brings me to:

In order for me to be able to continue killing you I need someone to send me 1 (one) zipped copy of the program MS-DOS. This is not a joke, I need it to install Windows ME which I need to play CM.

please send it asap to njn@home.se.

Thank you, and remember if anyone could give the term Die-A-Lot a face, Bill would be the man. Bill is our friend.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Gah! Should have bought a Mac.

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Geier:

I need someone to send me 1 (one) zipped copy of the program MS-DOS. This is not a joke, I need it to install Windows ME which I need to play CM.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Huh?

Here is some DOS stuff: DOS stuff

Did you chip your new PC from raw flint, or what?

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