A Peng Challenge Too Far

[CMplayer]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Gpig:

I've seen a lot of things in my life, but . . . that . . . was . . . AWSOME!!!

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Great, now since you liked those fireworks why don't you go to your nearest recruiter and ask to become a forward spotter for the artillery. We'll be (*cough*) rootin' fer ya kid.

[Tread Head]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by David Aitken:

Ah, so this is the lame joke thread now?

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because it knew that because of the undermodelling of machineguns in CM, it could run across open ground while the enemy blazed away at it and it wouldn't get a scratch.

Tread Head was having none of it, however, and jumped on his bicycle with a carboard skirt attached to the stabilisers with tank tracks painted on it, and pedalled furiously down the road to crush the chicken before it reached safety and was able to close-assault his troops.

To late he remembered that CM doesn't model infantry being crushed by vehicles either, so the chicken suffered nothing but a morale hit. While Tread Head sat in the middle of the road considering the situation, BTS reached CMBB alpha 3 and enabled Extreme FOW, causing his own troops to misidentify him as a Finnish bicycle commando and go for broke with their new more effective machineguns.

Within seconds Tread Head and his PanzerKampfFahrrad were reduced to a small, soggy pile of bone splinters, muscle tissue, intestines, metal dust and cardboard strips. Satisfied with the results, BTS elected to rename CM2 Combat Mission: Tread Head Is A Witless Ninny in his honour.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Yes, thank-you Mr Dave. (everyone clap)

Hey, how did you know my Grand-Dad was a Finn?

[Moriarty]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Pshaw

MrSpkr, in your role of Assistant Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread and Associate CessPool Drain Commissioner DESIGNATE, please take note of this failure ... it is a GOOD thing to have a staff.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I pose to you this question, Joe Shaw: Is still a good thing to have a staff when said staff has eyes on usurpation?

To wit, after MrPeng indicated that he would perform an invasive surgical procedure upon one part of your anatomy with a portion of your anatomy from another region of your anatomy, and presumably to inflict a grievous if not mortal injury, or at least goad a turn out of you, he, being MrSpkr, doth say:

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr:

Please do it -- it will mean I am up for a promotion.

I'll even reward your services with a little scenario that chrisl came up with . . .

{edited to offer a FINE, FINE reward}

[ 09-16-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Of course, as a lawyer type, you'll probably admire his ambition.

[ 09-17-2001: Message edited by: Moriarty ]

[MrSpkr]

And I ask, Moriarty, how effective would you expect a staffer to be if the staffer didn't ASPIRE to climb (descend, in this case?) the corporate ladder?

Ambition, motivation, and a willingness to squish all other life forms in the quest for power are ESSENTIAL parts of the capitalist system.

In short, Moriarty: Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of the Communist Party?

[Marlow]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr:

And I ask, Moriarty, how

In short, Moriarty: Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of the Communist Party?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I hate Illinois Communists

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Marlow:

I hate Illinois Communists<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I hate Spam.

[Moriarty]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr:

And I ask, Moriarty, how effective would you expect a staffer to be if the staffer didn't ASPIRE to climb (descend, in this case?) the corporate ladder?

Ambition, motivation, and a willingness to squish all other life forms in the quest for power are ESSENTIAL parts of the capitalist system.

In short, Moriarty: Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of the Communist Party?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

The answer to that, young wretch, is no.

And my question to you MrSpkr is: Have you stopped undercutting your boss?

A simple "yes" or "no" will suffice.

checkmate.

[ 09-17-2001: Message edited by: Moriarty ]

[Marlow]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Hiram's Ghost:

I hate Spam.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Bahh. Your from Philly. I wouldn't expect you to understand a reference to Da Flick.

[Stuka]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by dalem:

Stuka is hiding in the fog that my crappy emergency replacement video card can't show me.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Thanks for the tip.

[MrSpkr]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Moriarty:

The answer to that, young wretch, is no.

And my question to you MrSpkr is: Have you stopped undercutting your boss?

A simple "yes" or "no" will suffice.

checkmate.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Of course not, you twit. This is the Cesspool. The day I stop undercutting my boss is the day they pry my keyboard out of my cold dead hands.

I warn you, Moriarty, don't mess with us -- we're on a mission from God.

[BFCElvis]

I sometimes don't read a thread until it has ben locked. I figure that a locked thread my have something interesting in it.

In a recently lockedthread I read thet Peg shaves in the shower with no mirror. I did not know that about him. I have been shaving in he shower with just soap and no mirror for years and years. I find it gives a much smoother shave and I never have razor burn. It must have somethingto do with being wet and warm the whole time. I check out if I have gotten all areas by touch. Any type of soap will do. Currently there is Dove in my shower but it could be anything. I touch up the sideburn areas with a mirror and jut arm water when I get out.

I thought this small slice of my life would be interesting to you Wankers.

[MrSpkr]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elvis:

I sometimes don't read a thread until it has ben locked.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Who's ben? Why is he locked? How does a thread do that to him? (Dear Lord do I really want these answers?).

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>In a recently lockedthread I read thet Peg shaves in the shower with no mirror.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Are you referring to Al Bundy's ball and chain?

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I find it gives a much smoother shave and must have something to do with being wet and warm. I check out all areas by touch. Any type will do. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Okay, okay, enough already -- we DON'T need to know these horrific actions. Why don't you go get a room somewhere or somefink?

[ 09-17-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ]

[von shrad]

Yes Elvis , that was very interesting. As interesting as listening about my Mother-in Laws hip replacement.

Wanker huh? I do think you need to look in the mirror more often.

von shrad

BTW...great pic you sent me.. Pased it on to a few. Did you shoot that or was it sent to you?

[Captain Wacky]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrPeng:

Ahhhhh shaddap!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

*Ahem* You sir, MrPeng, have the manners of a Yale frat boy, the accent of a poor New York drifter, and your response had all the wit of a third year Dartmouth flop. I would strongly suggest putting more careful and considerate thought into your responses, lest your obviously sub-standard intelligence be revealed to the world. I will thus say good-day to you sir, unless you should like to pursue this matter further, and may your unfortunate bumblings through the world bring you some semblance of happiness.

[ 09-17-2001: Message edited by: Captain Wacky ]

[Moriarty]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr:

Of course not, you twit. This is the Cesspool. The day I stop undercutting my boss is the day they pry my keyboard out of my cold dead hands.

I warn you, Moriarty, don't mess with us -- we're on a mission from God.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I quiver with fear (yawn) at your blathering, oops, warning.

Oh, and before youse twos put me on the list ... or write my name in the book and strike it out ... I believe that's already been done.

[ 09-17-2001: Message edited by: Moriarty ]

[Marlow]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Captain Wacky:

*Ahem* You sir, MrPeng, have the manners of a Yale frat boy, the accent of a poor New York drifter, and your response had all the wit of a third year Dartmouth flop. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

With all of these Ivy references, I thought you might attend a school that thinks it is important. It turns out I was almost right, since you go to Oxford …. OHIO.

WTF is up with the whole "RedHawk" thing anyway?

[Captain Wacky]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Marlow:

With all of these Ivy references, I thought you might attend a school that thinks it is important. It turns out I was almost right, since you go to Oxford …. OHIO.

WTF is up with the whole "RedHawk" thing anyway?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I do say, old chap, we are the Harvard of the Midwest (hah!). As you read my profile I assume you are familiar with my various affiliations, and you may have deduced correctlu that I am only here to get my fecking commission. All else is moot, I can assure you, and I have no love for this breeding ground of whores, whoremongers, drunkards, and deadheads.

As for the "Redhawk thing" I believe, but am not sure, that it has something to do with Americans, Indians, and the color red. It would seem that the PC bug has been getting around quite well lately.

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elvis:

I thought this small slice of my life would be interesting to you Wankers.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

[sarcasm]I cannot begin to tell you how much our lives have been enriched knowing that! [/sarcasm]

Mace

[Joe Shaw]

The Scene: A torchlit, dim and dank stone chamber with but one door set deep in the side of the chamber. Upon the floor of the chamber are numerous instruments of ... uh ... truth ... yeah, that's it, truth and investigation. One of the instruments resembles a wooden table with ropes and windlasses, it is stained, though in the dim torchlight the source of the stain cannot be determined ... this is likely for the best.

Upon the table is a figure, a most sad and disreputable figure indeed as he is clad in a rough brown robe. The robe is stained and smells foul, again it's best not to speculate. His arms and legs are bound by the ropes which are stretched taut by the windlasses. A dirty gag is bound tightly over his mouth and face but does little to mute the occassional gasps and groans. Standing by the side of the rack, for thus it indeed is, is another figure, this a grim and stalwart lad in an identical, though far less smelly robe.

Suddenly the door creaks open to reveal two figures ... both are garbed in the lime green and dayglo orange robes of Knights of the CessPool. Together they step to the rack. The elder Knight addresses the standing lad:

Joe Shaw: Lars, what is this then? Have you found a miscreant? Has someone violated the traditions of the CessPool?

Lars: Sir Joe and Sir MrSpkr, I am honored by your presence ...(s). Yes sire, I took it opon myself to lure this foul creature here with promises of a game with your eminence.

Sir Joe glances at Lars with a stern expression ... his right foot begins to show signs of lifting from the ground ... Lars cringes and hurries to explain.

Lars: Your pardon Sir Joe but it seemed best and he did come and I was able to overpower him and place him upon the Table of Truth.

Joe and MrSpkr confer in whispers for a moment, both nod and then Joe speaks:

Joe Shaw: Well done Lars, your diligence in this matter has been noted and a position within the ranks of the Justicariate may be available upon your elevation to Knighthood ... now ... let us see what we can determine from this creature.

Joe leans closer to the bound and gagged figure and examines the tethers carefully.

Joe Shaw: So my good man, what have YOU done to fall afoul of the Justicariate of the Peng Challenge Thread? A little treason perhaps ... a bit of outerboardism maybe ... groggly tendencies I dare say?

Bound Figure: UuuMmmMppphhh Ummphhhfff ... UMMMPHHH!

Joe Shaw: Sorry I didn't get that, did you get that MrSpkr?

MrSpkr: No, no I didn't, might be another SSN you know ... they make so little sense.

Joe Shaw: True, true, but being SSNs they really aren't subject to the Justicariate ... perhaps a bit of ... encouragement?

With this Joe nods to Lars who bends to a bar affixed to the windlass and enthusiastically clicks off another pawl on the rachet. Various ... unpleasant ... sounds emerge from the Bound Figure.

Joe Shaw: Blast, didn't understand that either.

MrSpkr: Hmmm, no. Me either, I wonder what can be done to improve the sound?

Lars: Perhaps Sire, perhaps if I remove the mask and gag?

Joe and MrSpkr look uncomfortable for a moment, glance at the floor and slowly nod their heads in unison.

Joe Shaw: Uh ... yes, I was just going to suggest that, go ahead Lars.

Lars reaches forward and unties the mask and gag, revealing the purple and rather uncomely face of ... Moriarty!

Moriarty: BLAST YOU JOE SHAW, what's the meaning of this outrage, I'm a Knight of the CessPool!

Joe and MrSpkr look at Moriarty with utter shock and dismay writ upon their faces, they CLEARLY had NO IDEA that he was the victim of this travesty ... CLEARLY ... NO IDEA WHATSOEVER ... OBVIOUSLY ... no, really.

Joe Shaw: Lars, I am shocked and dismayed ... I had NO IDEA, CLEARLY, that Moriarty was the victim of this travesty.

MrSpkr: Nor I Sir Moriarty, NO IDEA, NONE, CLEARLY ... oh yeah uh ... Shocked and Dismayed at this travesty. Lars ... unhand him immediately.

With this Lars bounds to the windlass and, unfortunately, forgets that it's set on "tighten" and pushes the bar.

Moriarty: aaarrrRRRGGHHHH!

Joe Shaw: Lars ... Lars I am ... overcome with shame at your ineptitude ... I must ... I must ...

Joe, CLEARLY overcome with emotion, staggers and UNFORTUNATELY leans upon the bar to the windlass AGAIN.

Moriarty: ARRRRRGGGHHHHHHH!

MrSpkr: Oh Sir Joe you must remove yourself from the bar before MORE damage is done ...

MrSpkr lunges for Joe but slips upon the stone flags and HIMSELF lands upon the bar to the windlass ...

Moriarty: AAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Lars jumps to the windlass control and releases the pawl. Unfortunately the ropes, now freed of their tension, lash from the windlasses like snakes gone mad and whip the straining form on the rack again and again.

Moriarty: OUCH, damit, Ouch, OWWWW, Damn, OUCH. What's the meaning of this outrage Sir Joe? I've done nothing wrong!

Joe Shaw: Quite right ... Lars, what's the meaning of this outrage that I CLEARLY had NO KNOWLEDGE of WHATSOEVER?

Lars: Sire, I read the remarks of Sir Moriarty and felt that criticism of Sir MrSpkr would certainly fall within the purview of the Justicariate. If I did wrong Sire, please ... please put in the boot.

With this Lars turns and presents the rear of his robe, curiously enlarged from previous views as if ... stuffed with something.

Joe Shaw: Indeed I shall Lars, for you know that I had ABSOLUTELY NO KNOWLEDGE of this and the Justicariate would NEVER, NEVER use it's position for personal revenge over remarks ... HOWEVER FOUL AND DESPICABLE ... not to mention clearly untrue ... made by others. Take your punishment lad.

-boot-

Moriarty: THAT'S IT? I GET STRETCHED ON THE BLOODY RACK AND THAT'S THE PUNISHMENT?

Joe and MrSpkr throw their arms, albeit carefully, around Moriarty and lead him from the chamber.

Joe Shaw: Oh NO, Sir Moriarty, No the REAL PUNISHMENT will come later, doesn't do to administer punishment in public you know, fragile young minds and the sort. Of course you know that neither MrSprk nor myself had ANY ADVANCE KNOWLEDGE of this travesty ... right MrSpkr?

MrSpkr: Oh NO, NONE AT ALL, a travesty, wish we had known, might have been able to stop it in it's tracks ... pity ... of course I would NEVER aspire to take Sir Joe's rightful position ... NEVER.

Joe Shaw: No ... Never ... hmmmm

Joe looks oddly at MrSpkr ... as if measuring his length against lengths of ... rope?

Joe

[ 09-17-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]

[jdmorse]

Spittle and scat on you all. Now that I have gotten that said......I have only been able to read this motely foolish collection of idjits at work (it helps when your the boss) and lurking for a while. With only a few games against the tribe, Shaw is going down for the third time, and Pawbroom he of ever increasing slowness so he hardly counts and a few others, I find myself reduced in a number of going games and need to dip once more in to this fetid cess to replinish my portfolio.

I have uncovered in a most Mormon like way, certain files of a 'rune-ish' sort that have not previously seen the like of day. Seeing rune as Mordicah or was it Gabrial, is to scary to contemplate. Since I feel like plunging the sharpened stake of madness into my brain, I invite any of you so inclined to take this trip into the nether world of phantasm to simply indicate whether you wish German or Allies and I shall select a file randomly and send it in it's way. I have not inspected them as I have not yet instituted a level 4 containment area to hold them.

So those of you harboring loathing for your last trouncing Marlow, Peng or whom I loathe with out sucrease such as MarkForth and crisl or are simply roadbumps on my road of success like Berli, Moriarty and even JShaw or even just need a game, let me know,......or not.

Edited like Peng because fingers are idjits

[ 09-17-2001: Message edited by: jdmorse ]

[Moriarty]

Joe Shaw, as long as you and yours are wandering about in fantasy land could you at least get the appellation correct?

I am a Senior Knight (who was in fact looking out for the best interests of another Knight of equal standing) and thus entitled to all the hyperbole and prevarication that is attached to such a dubious position.

Now, as to this rack thingy you've got going ... you only added another inch or so. I think I'm due for another session ... and this time have your flea-bitten minions put some effort into it. Be so kind as to stop when I'm 6'2".

Many thanks, cheerio and all that.

[David Aitken]

Before I attempt to ascertain whether the above post by Comrade Jo Sha is worth further analysis with a view to convening a study group with the remit of producing a report detailing the subject matter of the aforementioned post, the author's possible motives for inflicting it upon us, and the value of further exploring the possibility of actually reserving five minutes on some day in the future to sit down and read it, I would just like to direct those present to this thread, and in particular the last post.

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Hiram's Ghost:

I hope you're happy.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Woot!

[Berlichtingen]

Da Flick: 2

Quiet Man: 1

What? Is ths movie night in the Pool?

[BFCElvis]

I am glad you guys enjoyed my last post so much.

I am now working up a post that describes my bimonthly tooth brushing regime. You'll LOVE it..especially you Brits.