Murphy's Laws of Combat

[The_MonkeyKing]

Quote

Murphy's Laws of Combat

1. If the enemy is in range, so are you.
2. Incoming fire has the right of way.
3. Don't look conspicuous, it draws fire.
4. There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work.
5. The problem with the easy way out is that it has already been mined.
6. Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.
7. Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are dangerous.
8. The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions:
   1. when you're ready for them.
   2. when you're not ready for them.
9. Teamwork is essential, it gives them someone else to shoot at.
10. If you can't remember, then the claymore IS pointed at you.
11. The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack.
12. A "sucking chest wound" is nature's way of telling you to slow down.
13. If your attack is going well, then it's an ambush.
14. Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you.
15. Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing.
16. If you build yourself a bunker that's tough for the enemy to get into quickly, then you won't be able to get out of it quickly either.
17. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.
18. If you're short of everything but the enemy, you're in a combat zone.
19. When you've secured the area, don't forget to tell the enemy.
20. Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder.
21. Friendly fire isn't.
22. If the sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.
23. Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down, never stay awake when you can sleep.
24. The most dangerous thing in the world is a second lieutenant with a map and a compass.
25. There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole.
26. A grenade with a seven second fuse will always burn down in four seconds.
27. Remember, a retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping.
28. If at first you don't succeed call in an air-strike.
29. Exceptions prove the rule, and destroy the battle plan.
30. Everything always works in your HQ, everything always fails in the colonel's HQ.
31. The enemy never watches until you make a mistake.
32. One enemy soldier is never enough, but two is entirely too many.
33. A clean (and dry) set of BDU's is a magnet for mud and rain.
34. Whenever you have plenty of ammo, you never miss. Whenever you are low on ammo, you can't hit the broad side of a barn.
35. The more a weapon costs, the farther you will have to send it away to be repaired.
36. Field experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
37. Interchangeable parts aren't.
38. No matter which way you have to march, its always uphill.
39. If enough data is collected, a board of inquiry can prove ANYTHING.
40. For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. (in boot camp)
41. The one item you need is always in short supply.
42. The worse the weather, the more you are required to be out in it.
43. The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of the weapon's operator.
44. Airstrikes always overshoot the target, artillery always falls short.
45. When reviewing the radio frequencies that you just wrote down, the most important ones are always illegible.
46. Those who hesitate under fire usually do not end up KIA or WIA.
47. The tough part about being an officer is that the troops don't know what they want, but they know for certain what they DON'T want.
48. To steal information from a person is called plagiarism. To steal information from the enemy is called gathering intelligence.
49. The weapon that usually jams when you need it the most is the M60.
50. The perfect officer for the job will transfer in the day after that billet is filled by someone else.
51. When you have sufficient supplies & ammo, the enemy takes 2 weeks to attack. When you are low on supplies & ammo the enemy decides to attack that night.
52. The newest and least experienced soldier will usually win the Congressional Medal Of Honor.
53. A Purple Heart just goes to prove that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.
54. Murphy was a grunt

 

[JM Stuff]

8 hours ago, The_MonkeyKing said:

 

Check list before and after each movement, good study, and usefull when apply !

Edited August 28, 2018 by 3j2m7

[Michael Emrys]

16 hours ago, The_MonkeyKing said:

• Incoming fire has the right of way.

Interestingly, I was thinking of this just last night. This has always been my favorite list, and item #2 is my favorite of them all. Happy to see this again.

Michael

[StieliAlpha]

Number 7 is so true. Made remember a game of Clash of Arms “La Bataille de Albuera”. A (admitted) huge battalion of Murcia infantry held up the French advance. In game terms, they were mere militia, aka freaks, but then they stood like a rock.

[DerKommissar]

Was Murphy a grunt? Or was he actually an engineer?

- Number 43 has some rather wild implications about a lot of new designs.

- Number 35, especially, seems inspired by the F-35 program (PAK FA, etc.).

- Number 37 is pretty much a real life axiom.

- Number 10 can be applied to polarized capacitors, as they are tiny grenades.

- Number 26 is a good way to treat overcurrent fuses.

- Number 20 seems to hold up, historically wise. Fully consistent with 43 and 35.

[John Kettler]

Great list! Here's another entry from a real CM tournament (CMx1 RoW).

The ability of your ability of your AFV to Bog and, worse, sometimes Immobilize, too, even under Dry conditions, is inversely proportional to a)purchase cost and b) criticality to your battle plan. I have had exactly this happen to me several times, and it was maddening, particularly given the corollary.

In the event of Bog or Immobilization for a limited traverse weapon, the AFV will be oriented such that, at best, it can use its roof MG. Said AFV will be flank/s exposed at best, too. If a tank, the turret will be jammed and point in a useless direction which also exposes weak parts of the AFV. In both cases, the enemy will have potent DF weapons, tank-killing infantry teams, or both. The more potent the AFV, the higher the likelihood of an F-Kill on the main gun, generally before the planned battle winner can fire a shot.

Regards,

John Kettler

[JM Stuff]

John, eyes and ears around CM !!

[Bulletpoint]

49 minutes ago, John Kettler said:

The more potent the AFV, the higher the likelihood of an F-Kill on the main gun

This, basically.

Once while playing a scenario, I came up against a Sherman Jumbo. I quickly realised my Panther couldn't kill it from the front, but I thought ok, if I keep firing, soon I can knock out its gun at least. Shouldn't be a problem, right? Happens all the time.

I spent the whole full ammo load of the Panther, but of course the damn Sherman stayed fully operational.

Meanwhile, my own Tiger II... Murphy always gets the last laugh.

[General Jack Ripper]

On ‎8‎/‎30‎/‎2018 at 11:32 AM, John Kettler said:

The ability of your AFV to Bog and worse, sometimes Immobilize too even under Dry conditions, is inversely proportional to a)purchase cost and b) criticality to your battle plan.

Absolutely.

[Ultradave]

We had this list back in the late 70s and 80s. Our division commander in the 82d Airborne was a big believer in Murphy's Laws. One that is missing from this list compared to what I have is "Tracers work both ways".  We added a personal one too.  "The parachute on the Battery Commander's jeep trailer will always streamer in"   Well, not always really , but it happened once and it was hilarious (to everyone but him - he wasn't terribly well liked). All his personal gear and living equipment scattered over a 100 yard radius.  BOOM!..   Unfortunately the #3 gun came down without a chute that same jump. That was a worse loss.  Thankfully personnel parachutes are more reliable than Heavy Drop chutes.

 

Edited September 4, 2018 by Ultradave

[slysniper]

4 hours ago, Ultradave said:

 "The parachute on the Battery Commander's jeep trailer will always streamer in"   Well, not always really , but it happened once and it was hilarious (to everyone but him - he wasn't terribly well liked). All his personal gear and living equipment scattered over a 100 yard radius.  BOOM!..   Unfortunately the #3 gun came down without a chute that same jump. That was a worse loss.  Thankfully personnel parachutes are more reliable than Heavy Drop chutes.

 

That is not always true, We were training with a unit from the 82 once, we were the bad guys and they were the good guy and of course they had to drop in as part of the training.

I was posted as a forward scout to watch the landing zone and to inform our units of their movements and to spy on their activities.

What it gave me was a front roll seat to watching one poor trooper falling to his death.

 

Seen two such events in my life, the other one was at a 4th of July calibration, that fellow walked away from it. To this day I don't know how, but the guy hit and somehow bounced 6 ft in the air, came back down and acted like he was dead, but when the first people that ran to him to help, he came to and just showed no sign of injury. (One of those events that you know there is a god, because no other way to explain it.)

 

 

[Ultradave]

Of course not always true, however we tended to lose one vehicle on every heavy drop. That's a much worse record than personnel drop on average.

[John Kettler]

3j2m7,

Am confused by your statement. Can't tell whether you're saying I pay close attention to CM or that I need to be paying close attention to it. Please clarify. Thanks!

slysniper and Ultradave,

Sometimes, it's not Murphy's fault. Turns out a disastrous Hummer multiple drop was from sabotage, not him! Just learned this will hunting for the fail video.

https://www.armytimes.com/news/your-army/2018/05/09/soldier-found-guilty-of-cutting-parachute-straps-in-botched-humvee-air-drop/

Regards,

John Kettler

Edited September 5, 2018 by John Kettler

[Michael Emrys]

Worse than a lost Hummer or trailer, quite some years ago a friend of mine in the Army witnessed a Sheridan tank streamer in. He told me that when he went over to look at it afterwards, the top of it only showed a foot or two above ground level, and the hole was only about half a foot deep. Sheridan pancake anyone?

Michael

[DerKommissar]

15 hours ago, Michael Emrys said:

Worse than a lost Hummer or trailer, quite some years ago a friend of mine in the Army witnessed a Sheridan tank streamer in. He told me that when he went over to look at it afterwards, the top of it only showed a foot or two above ground level, and the hole was only about half a foot deep. Sheridan pancake anyone?

Michael

My heart does go out to the Sheridan. What a sad little tank story...