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Machor

The 'Never Say You've Seen It All' Thread

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Machor,

And here I thought race car beds were unusual.

Begin scene. 

(Little Slava is jumping for joy. The big day has arrived, bringing with it the special bed. The deliverymen bring it in, assemble it, put the mattress on, then leave.)

"Mommy?"

( He leaps onto the unmade made and pretends to be the missile turret, first elevating, then traversing this way and that way as he sweeps the sky looking for enemy planes)

"Yes, Slava?"

"When I grow up I want to be in the Zenith Rocket Troops!"

"Your father's away on air defense exercises, commanding his Buk Battalion, but Yuri Petrovitch would be so proud to hear that."

(Slava beams.)

End scene. Fade to black.

Regards,

John Kettler

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@John Kettler :D

Incidentally, it turns out that today is Putin's birthday. I now suspect yesterday's 'Putin the Peacemaker' banner incident was a birthday present from the Bratva of Brighton Beach.

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On 10/27/2016 at 3:08 PM, Machor said:

"Topless selfie student crashes into Texas police car"

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-37795008

"The Texas A&M University student also had an open bottle of wine in a cup holder by her, according to police."

I saw that headline and cringed at what her parents went through. "Yep that's our little girl.. that we are using our retirement money to send to college.. sigh. . . . F*ck it, we are spending the rest on a vacation somewhere far away". 

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Machor,

Not sure is this is quite what you had in mind, but I thought you and others might find it interesting. I saw a video in which a guy had a big chest piece tattoo consisting of the entire alphabet writ large in something like Times Roman capital letters, so I tried to find out what on Earth it meant. As a result, I found a Canadian law enforcement guide to criminal tattoos and their meanings. This was both unusual and cool, for you see, I have a direct connection to the topic, not because I have ink like that (have no ink), but because I used to share a house with a bunch of people, one of whom was, so help me, a Certified Gang Specialist, someone who was an expert witness on such matters. He told me of a case where the cops went after a kid because of his ink, and it was his testimony that exonerated the kid. My housemate was also a Mensa™ member! The pub is great, but it's now a decade old.

https://info.publicintelligence.net/CBSA-TattooHandbook.pdf

Regards,

John Kettler

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@sburke

:D

@John Kettler

Thank you for the links! The CBSA handbook would be a must-read for anyone going to prison.

And now for today's bizarre news:

"'Monkey attack' on girl sparks deadly clan clashes in Libya"

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-38049950

"Clan fighting has left at least 20 people dead in the south Libyan town of Sabha after an incident with a monkey, according to local reports.
A pet monkey reportedly assaulted a schoolgirl, leading her family to seek revenge. Three men were killed along with the animal in initial clashes.
Days of fighting followed between the Awlad Suleiman and Guedadfa clans.
Casualties may be greater as the death toll is reportedly for the Awlad Suleiman group only.
Reports also suggest tanks, rockets, mortars and other heavy weapons were used in the fighting, in which at least 50 people were also wounded.

...

Some reports say the monkey may have pulled off the girl's headscarf as well as scratching and biting her."

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1 hour ago, Machor said:

Reports also suggest tanks, rockets, mortars and other heavy weapons were used in the fighting, in which at least 50 people were also wounded.

This reinforces what I have always said, namely that humans will seize on any pretext whatsoever to choose up sides and go at each other.

Michael

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Indeed.  And if we find ourselves not having chosen sides you can rest assured that some charismatic leader will turn up and point out some sides and convince people to go at it.

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Machor,

You do realize I'll never be able to think of "monkey business" the same way ever again, don't you? I thought Darwin Award entries were bizarre before I saw your post. Best get cracking on the entry for the Encyclopedia of UNCON Battles (a work forever in progress).

Regards,

John Kettler

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There's obviously nothing amusing about this news, but I was shocked that it's even more disturbing than what I thought from the title. :wacko: Truly The Brothers Karamazov material:

"Ukraine teacher 'tried to sell girl aged 13 for $10,000'"

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-38064527

"Police in eastern Ukraine have arrested a teacher accused of trying to sell a 13-year-old girl for $10,000 (£8,035).
The girl was living at a boarding school in the Kharkiv region for orphans and children from broken homes.
Ukrainian Interior Minister Arsen Avakov reported the case on Facebook, with photos of the 52-year-old teacher and girl. He said police had been monitoring them for four months.
Mr Avakov said the buyer hinted that the girl's organs would be removed.
The buyer inquired about the girl's health and paid the teacher 1,000 hryvnia (£31; $39) for photos of the girl and her medical records, Mr Avakov said.
Ukrainian media have named the suspect as Galina Kovalenko. She teaches the Ukrainian and Russian languages, and literature, and has more than 20 years' teaching experience, they report."

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