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Joe Shaw

The Peng Challenge: Thread Blunder

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Three days it has been without a sign of habitation, and the Cesspool door creaks loudly when pushed... oh, wait that's Joe Shaw. Is there any life in this old place, or has Dalem's poetry done you all in?

 

Good Knights! -- I use that term reservedly, as I haven't seen a single one of you jump in an 'L' shape yet -- while you were snoring in varying degrees of drunken stupor, a new game has been released to an unsuspecting public. To arms! To horse! To armed horses! To horses under each arm! The Breadbasket of Europe beckons, and by the shores of the Dnieper River rest new hamlets, fresh for the cratering.

 

Why sprawl you sleeping? I remember days when 300 posts was the magic number, when the denizens of the Mutha Beautiful Thread would storm forth to pastures and conquests new! Has the old spark been lost? Are the old grognards gone forever? Have the beer and pretzels finally run out? Say it isn't so, and let the glory of the immortal Peng Challenge wax eternal!

Edited by Palladium

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Three days it has been without a sign of habitation, and the Cesspool door creaks loudly when pushed... oh, wait that's Joe Shaw. Is there any life in this old place, or has Dalem's poetry done you all in?

 

Good Knights! -- I use that term reservedly, as I haven't seen a single one of you jump in an 'L' shape yet -- while you were snoring in varying degrees of drunken stupor, a new game has been released to an unsuspecting public. To arms! To horse! To armed horses! To horses under each arm! The Breadbasket of Europe beckons, and by the shores of the Dnieper River rest new hamlets, fresh for the cratering.

 

Why sprawl you sleeping? I remember days when 300 posts was the magic number, when the denizens of the Mutha Beautiful Thread would storm forth to pastures and conquests new! Has the old spark been lost? Are the old grognards gone forever? Have the beer and pretzels finally run out? Say it isn't so, and let the glory of the immortal Peng Challenge wax eternal!

 

"Groan"...

 

{speebump slowly cracks open his eyelids, as the dim light feels like daggers to his bloodshot eyes}...

 

Looking up, it takes a moment to realize he is looking at the underside of a bar room table.  It is covered with various hues of bubble gum and other unmentionable remnants.

 

"Ah, how did I find my way under the Aussies table?!?  The last I remember, we of the House Shavian, were toasting our many victories at the head table."

 

"And what is this noise? Arms? Horses? Horse's arms? I didn't know horses had arms!?!"

 

"Oh, yes.  I remember what comes next....SOD OFF!!!"

 

{speedbump rolls over, hugging his flagon of mead to his chest and returns to the arms of Morpheus...}

 

Wait!!  Before we return to visions of lovely young things and exploding Armored Cars....UPDATES!!!

 

Noba continues to lose Armored Cars, as he watches my convoys motoring past, as if out on a Sunday drive...

 

Boo Radley has admitted my tactical prowess is on par with General Patton himself (and not just Patton, but a "freaking Patton")....

 

Nidan1 has returned from a cruise around the Caribbean, likely full of Norovirus and sunburned, only to be reminded of his impending defeat, welcome to reality my friend...

Edited by speedbump2

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Yes, Sir Speedbump of the Shavian House, why ARE you under the Australian table? I suppose you will claim it was a commando raid gone poorly --  don't know about toasts, but you appear toasted. 
 
Many thanks for your considerate counsel, but I'm going to ignore your advice. There is too much to do: enemies to drive before... lamentations to hear... horses to ride... wives and daughters to embrace...
 
Speaking of lamentations, the mead is decent, but there is an appalling shortage of good beer in this den of infirmity... {rummage} ... Coorsweiser? What is this?!
Edited by Palladium

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Speaking of lamentations, the mead is decent, but there is an appalling shortage of good beer in this den of infirmity... {rummage} ... Coorsweiser? What is this?!

 

 

 

As much as it pains me to admit, I must agree with this "Palladium".  The other miscreants of the MBT are drinking swill, nay, watered down water.  I, good "sir", am imbibing a more robust and flavorful beverage.  I recommend the Six Point Resin.  A hearty Imperial IPA with a 103 ibu and 9.1% alcohol content.  The average Cesspool denizen would curl up and die should they ever have an opportunity to drink this elixir.

 

Now to you and your nickname.  I hate to break the bad news to you, but your autocorrect feature (clearly required) has changed your attempt to refer to yourself as Paladin, to Palladium.  So the attempt to ingratiate yourself with 13 year old Dungeons and Dragons players has gone awry.  The good news is Chemists everywhere have become your biggest fans.  Of course, that means now you are popular with 40 year old Dungeons and Dragons players, so maybe it is not such a loss after all.

 

I don't have the energy to roll out from under the table this morning to strike you about the head and neck with my gauntlet.  So consider yourself challenged.  I expect an email at myers_jeff@sbcglobal.net with your challenge.

 

Speedbump

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You shall have it, Sir! Email sent. I shall take your beverage recommendation under advisement, a good IPA is always a fine thing.
 

 

Now to you and your nickname.  I hate to break the bad news to you, but your autocorrect feature (clearly required) has changed your attempt to refer to yourself as Paladin, to Palladium... The good news is Chemists everywhere have become your biggest fans.

 

To say nothing of my fame amongst the Classics majors; one should cherish the rare opportunities to build consensus. On the subject of Autocorrect, Sir Speedbump, the singular of 'alumni' is 'alumnus', though I would not doubt the existence of multiple chattering voices in that skull of yours. How are you all today? Do the men in white know where you are?

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To say nothing of my fame amongst the Classics majors; one should cherish the rare opportunities to build consensus. On the subject of Autocorrect, Sir Speedbump, the singular of 'alumni' is 'alumnus', though I would not doubt the existence of multiple chattering voices in that skull of yours. How are you all today? Do the men in white know where you are?

 

 

My abject apologies to you Palladium.  Your nickname does in fact have a Classics reference.  From here on out, you will be associated with the phallic statue of ancient Greece and Rome.

 

QW1P8DM.png?1

Edited by speedbump2

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Three days it has been without a sign of habitation, and the Cesspool door creaks loudly when pushed... oh, wait that's Joe Shaw. Is there any life in this old place, or has Dalem's poetry done you all in?

 

Good Knights! -- I use that term reservedly, as I haven't seen a single one of you jump in an 'L' shape yet -- while you were snoring in varying degrees of drunken stupor, a new game has been released to an unsuspecting public. To arms! To horse! To armed horses! To horses under each arm! The Breadbasket of Europe beckons, and by the shores of the Dnieper River rest new hamlets, fresh for the cratering.

 

Why sprawl you sleeping? I remember days when 300 posts was the magic number, when the denizens of the Mutha Beautiful Thread would storm forth to pastures and conquests new! Has the old spark been lost? Are the old grognards gone forever? Have the beer and pretzels finally run out? Say it isn't so, and let the glory of the immortal Peng Challenge wax eternal!

You ... sir? ( I hesitate to use the term....) have disturbed my post Beta Testing hangover. Not to mention the blizzard we are currently experiencing in the Midwest. Try again when my electrolyte levels are balanced, or at least the plows have been out.

Alternatively, you could actually come up with a challenge worthy of the name in order to attract an actual opponent.....

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I am of the opinion that young Palladium is a reincarnation of a rather more aged Cesspool denizen, certainly knowledge of the olde '300 post limit' is not to be taken lightly.

 

Regardless, I like it more than spurke already and will take it to squire should it prove to have the necessary cahonies. I believe Leeo was my last squire and look how how turned out...surely I must be due a break in squires sometime soon.

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Excellent let's see if the squire hunt is as fun as it was last time. Oh gawd speedbump tell there isn't another essay requirement on aussie's and historical precedent in squire selection.

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When it posts a modicum of panache it already surpasses your abilities splurke...hence your mewlings of vitriol are not only expected, but boring.

So you reckon that young Palladin is a reincarnation of a former cesspool dweller? A major feat of deduction on your part.....considering the amount of desert sand packed between your ears, its a wonder that you can deduce the fact that the sun has risen.

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Excellent let's see if the squire hunt is as fun as it was last time. Oh gawd speedbump tell there isn't another essay requirement on aussie's and historical precedent in squire selection.

 

Actually, you do have an essay.  Give me a 100 word essay on the successful Aussie squires in the MBT.  I am sure that will be more than enough space to cover the subject.

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Actually, you do have an essay.  Give me a 100 word essay on the successful Aussie squires in the MBT.  I am sure that will be more than enough space to cover the subject.

How do I write an essay on something that doesn't exist? Kind of like the essay "dates of Stuka's that did not get a restraining order on him".

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How do I write an essay on something that doesn't exist? Kind of like the essay "dates of Stuka's that did not get a restraining order on him".

 

This, good sir, is the challenge.  Rise to it and you will be one step closer to Kaniggethood.  

 

Additional homework for challenging the process towards Knighthood:

 

1) What... is your name?

2) What... is your quest?

3) What... is the capital of Assyria?

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I am of the opinion that young Palladium is a reincarnation of a rather more aged Cesspool denizen, certainly knowledge of the olde '300 post limit' is not to be taken lightly.

 

Regardless, I like it more than spurke already and will take it to squire should it prove to have the necessary cahonies. I believe Leeo was my last squire and look how how turned out...surely I must be due a break in squires sometime soon.

Jeez... what was your first clue, concerning Palindrome?

And LEEEEEEEOOOOOO was your Squire???

 

This explains much.

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Whew good thing you didn't ask my favorite color or which species of dung beetle is the prehistoric ancestor of Aussies.

 

See you are in good hands....

 

UPDATES:

 

Boo Radley has the ignominious fate of being the opponent to break my 10 year losing streak.  My 37mm Armored Cars of DeathTM picked off his evil huns with little effort.

 

Nidan1 will be ever grateful for his 10 day vacation, without which he would have met the ignominious fate of being the opponent to break my 10 year losing streak.  My M4 Sherman Tanks of DeathTM have brought numerous walls down around his pixeltruppen's heads.

 

Noba will be ever grateful for choosing an extremely long scenario, without which he would have met the ignominious fate of being the opponent to break my 10 year losing streak.  My 50mm AT Gun of DeathTM continues to pick off his British Armored Cars (who makes armored cars with only four wheels?!?) without mercy.

 

Palladium has been granted the opportunity to extend my one match winning streak.  We have downloaded the new Black Sea battleground and of course the gamey bastidge chose Americans and gave me Ukrainians attacking across two miles of open fields.  

Edited by speedbump2

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I am of the opinion that young Palladium is a reincarnation of a rather more aged Cesspool denizen, certainly knowledge of the olde '300 post limit' is not to be taken lightly.

 

Infandum, O Stuka, iubes renovare dolorem... of days gone by when panicked Syrian pixeltruppen grease the treads of the invincible Abrams; the game I'd been seeking for decades appears in a bargain bin (of all places); and such a seemingly nice forum is marred by a single thread, a great gutter of grognards, this junta of the senile... 

 

Palladium has been granted the opportunity to extend my one match winning streak.  We have downloaded the new Black Sea battleground and of course the gamey bastidge chose Americans and gave me Ukrainians attacking across two miles of open fields.  

 
... like Sir Speedbump here, who despite his inability to tell a Pallas from a Priapus, clearly has command of multiple tongues, indeed, forked ones. My Moscovite tankers await the next batch of Kievian fish-stories with great anticipation, along with surrender notices.

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Whew! That's a load off!

 

Michael

 

Oh please.  You know you yearn to bask in the light of my everlasting agape.

 

And versificationisms.

 

I mentioned to Seanachai the other day that I was ready to serenade y'all once again.  I even showed him the song I would base it on.  And the video.

 

And know, my Cessthren, that he almost took pity on ye.

 

Almost.

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Oh please.  You know you yearn to bask in the light of my everlasting agape.

 

And versificationisms.

 

I mentioned to Seanachai the other day that I was ready to serenade y'all once again.  I even showed him the song I would base it on.  And the video.

 

And know, my Cessthren, that he almost took pity on ye.

 

Almost.

almost I expect being the key word there.

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