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The Peng Challenge: Thread Blunder


Joe Shaw

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!I get excitable if someone approaches in a hazmat suit. Hormones and rubber are quite the thing.

well that shouldn't be a problem, they only gave me a pissbucket. Now hold still. If you cooperate, maybe I'll go buy a hazmat suit and put it on the next person I come across passed out drunk here.

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First you have to catch me so we will have a jolly canter around the Paddock; such fun!

You are such a tart. We all know that after a suitable amount of time you will trip over a stick just like in the movies and get "caught". Not only will the amount of time be very short but you use the same old stick each time.

Now if we could get you to break a leg, instead...

Noba.

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sburke (spelt but not bolded) are you sleeping on the job? This is just the type of nonsense post I was hoping you'd be able to make some sense from. Don't disappoint me on this lad.

Get the damn donkey to sit still, shoot it if you have to! Hell shoot it even if you don't have to. Granted my parents are thrilled I have achieved the enviable exalted position of chasing the ass of an ass with a pissbucket, but that dang beast is just running from one end of the paddock to the other braying for all it is worth. Granted it isn't worth much, still it is braying quite a bit. I think it even disturbed a couple of the drunks around here out of their stupor. Has someone here been wearing a Hazmat suit recently?

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Get the damn donkey to sit still, shoot it if you have to! Hell shoot it even if you don't have to. Granted my parents are thrilled I have achieved the enviable exalted position of chasing the ass of an ass with a pissbucket, but that dang beast is just running from one end of the paddock to the other braying for all it is worth. Granted it isn't worth much, still it is braying quite a bit. I think it even disturbed a couple of the drunks around here out of their stupor. Has someone here been wearing a Hazmat suit recently?

We're not interested in excuses here lad ... well it does depend on the quality of the excuse, if it's really good then we probably do care, but in this case we don't. I want a divination damnit.

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Okay time for the old Louisville slugger. Whack!!! Thud!!! Squuuuuuueeezzee (ugh) swirl swirl, pour.....

hmmmmmmm

Jus-stick-kar, Jus-stick-kar,

Mormon Banker thing

Jus-stick-kar, Jus-stick-kar,

You just make me sing

Mortgage a-fore

Loan from afar

Jus-stick-kar... Jus-stick-kar... Jus-stick-kar

Okay near as I can tell he either said

Joe Shaw Gimme a carrot

Joe Shaw Gimme a loan

Joe Shaw I saw a devil!

Joe Shaw you should see me in Shrek or

Joe Shaw, oh my god I AM a mule!!!

I am leaning towards the last one considering my current view of it's nether regions.... oh wait, a gnat got into the bucket. I thought that was a bit too coherent, let me try again.

Squuuuuuueeezzee (ugh) swirl swirl, pour.....

hmmmm interesting, well I must say that made a huge difference. It appears it was saying

Geppetto, help help!!!

Not sure why he would confuse you with Geppetto, but Pinocchio was not anatomically correct. That would explain a few things.

The bold there is a precaution as the names appear to be cesspool denizens, at least in it's mind...assuming it has one.

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Okay time for the old Louisville slugger. Whack!!! Thud!!! Squuuuuuueeezzee (ugh) swirl swirl, pour.....

hmmmmmmm

Okay near as I can tell he either said

Joe Shaw Gimme a carrot

Joe Shaw Gimme a loan

Joe Shaw I saw a devil!

Joe Shaw you should see me in Shrek or

Joe Shaw, oh my god I AM a mule!!!

I am leaning towards the last one considering my current view of it's nether regions.... oh wait, a gnat got into the bucket. I thought that was a bit too coherent, let me try again.

Squuuuuuueeezzee (ugh) swirl swirl, pour.....

hmmmm interesting, well I must say that made a huge difference. It appears it was saying

Geppetto, help help!!!

Not sure why he would confuse you with Geppetto, but Pinocchio was not anatomically correct. That would explain a few things.

The bold there is a precaution as the names appear to be cesspool denizens, at least in it's mind...assuming it has one.

Well I liked the Louisville Slugger, that showed some real initiative and, let's face it, it was a real giggle.

But I'm concerned that you spent so much time contemplating his anatomy, not that there's anything wrong with that. I'm afraid you may have gotten personally involved and that calls your judgement into question, I tell you this in my role as your counselor and hopefully you can improve in the future.

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Well I liked the Louisville Slugger, that showed some real initiative and, let's face it, it was a real giggle.

But I'm concerned that you spent so much time contemplating his anatomy, not that there's anything wrong with that. I'm afraid you may have gotten personally involved and that calls your judgement into question, I tell you this in my role as your counselor and hopefully you can improve in the future.

Well I call them as I see them, or in this case don't see them. And it is an "it".

Just be glad it can't procreate. Shall I hit it with the bat again? Maybe that'll make it talk right. It is however unconscious, not that you could really tell.

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Well I call them as I see them, or in this case don't see them. And it is an "it".

Just be glad it can't procreate. Shall I hit it with the bat again? Maybe that'll make it talk right. It is however unconscious, not that you could really tell.

Actually unconscious is the preferred state. I tell you lad, despite your recent hiccup with the divination I'll take into account the material you had to deal with and acknowledge that perhaps, just perhaps, there was NO meaning to be derived from his post. Certainly that would fit in with his history of posts.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, my judgement on the worthiness of applicants is infallible ... as long as I'm given a Mulligan in the case of Papa Khann.

Therefore, by the power vested in me by ... Well in this case by me mostly ... As I have rights of First Refusal. I do hereby claim you as a Squire in the Shavian House ... so congratulations Squire sburke ... You may put down your Pissbucket and begin your instruction in the duties and obligations that may, in the fullness of time, see you acknowledged as a Knight of the Cesspool.

Now, let's begin with something easy ... I think a 33 slide PowerPoint, with animation of course, on the subject ... "Ozzies, What's The Ggod Of Them Then?."

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Tremendous fun, I will spurt into short gallops and go to ground behind carefully positioned obstacles or deftly leap them as is my wish, soaring gracefully into the blue yonder to reach the stars, until gravity takes hold and I find a suitable spot to place a full ton of prime donkey on to something small and insignificant that can be turned to mush... like a plump, juicy Emrys.

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Wait, after generations of struggling out of muck of the common mass, I am the first of my line to reach that exalted position bearing the pissbucket. Now I am expected to set down said badge of honor and return to the teeming masses of the ignorant and do . . . PowerPoint?!! As someone else shared this with me recently (pissbucketers have our own gatherings) I will pass on this kernel of wisdom here.

Slide169.jpg

Now excuse while I go move the car, I just had it washed and apparently donkeys fly. This sounds like a bad combination.

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sburke I am disappointed, this is NOT the way to begin your tenure with The Shavian House.

First, your sig still says SERF ... I'd have thought that you, transported with joy, would have fixed that first.

Second though, we're talking about a presentation to the CESSPOOL! If it doesn't have flashy graphics, animation and bullet points, how can you hope to keep them engaged and not distracted by the occassional shiny ribbon that floats by. Of COURSE PowerPoint makes them stupid, but in this instance we can't set the bar much lower now can we.

Your Liege,

Sir Joe Shaw, JFLPCT

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Keep the door locked, and we will never have to be diappointed by his arrivals ever again.

There will be no living with him now since he has taken a new Squire, sperke or whatever he calls himself, being the first new Squire of the Pool in several years.

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sburke I am disappointed, this is NOT the way to begin your tenure with The Shavian House.

First, your sig still says SERF ... I'd have thought that you, transported with joy, would have fixed that first.

Second though, we're talking about a presentation to the CESSPOOL! If it doesn't have flashy graphics, animation and bullet points, how can you hope to keep them engaged and not distracted by the occassional shiny ribbon that floats by. Of COURSE PowerPoint makes them stupid, but in this instance we can't set the bar much lower now can we.

Your Liege,

Sir Joe Shaw, JFLPCT

HR had lost all records on how to initiate a new squire. They scrambled around and eventually got me business cards written on the back of free drink coupons for some local dive of a strip club. . . . in magic marker. Nice touch.

So am doing a mockup for this PowerPoint in crayon. Trying to draw an Ozzie. Do they have two frontal teeth missing or two total frontal teeth remaining? I keep confusing them with Canadian hockey players.

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HR had lost all records on how to initiate a new squire. They scrambled around and eventually got me business cards written on the back of free drink coupons for some local dive of a strip club. . . . in magic marker. Nice touch.

So am doing a mockup for this PowerPoint in crayon. Trying to draw an Ozzie. Do they have two frontal teeth missing or two total frontal teeth remaining? I keep confusing them with Canadian hockey players.

To be sure there's not a lot of difference between your average Cannahockian (and actually an AVERAGE Cannahockian is well ABOVE the average there if you get my point) and your average sub-human Ozzie, but to answer your question specifically, Ozzies like to mix it up so you can't really tell but it's more common to find a Cannahockian without the two front teeth due to puck damage which they don't have in Ozzieland or at least I don't think they do not being much for winter sports there.

The above run on sentence was brought to you courtesy of the letters W, T and F.

As to the business cards I blame Boo Radley ... but then I blame Boo Radley for pretty much everything so it may not have been his fault ... but just for giggles lets blame him anyway.

Finally, that strip club ... what was the address for that so I can do some ... uh ... quality control inspections on the business cards.

Really finally, you might consider sneaking a camera into that club and taking some shots to spice up the PowerPoint.

Your Liege,

Sir Joe Shaw, JFLPCT

p.s. Much better on the sig line.

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