Joe Shaw Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 In the beginning darkness enfolded the land and there was no joy to be had ... nay not even in Mudville ... and the people lamented their station and begged for a savior to come among them. Whether that happened or not is up to you I suppose but in lieu of the real thing Seanachai did stagger by and started ... THE THREAD! And the people saw it and said it was good. But then more people saw it, joined it and it became ... less good. So Seanachai called together the Olde Ones and said unto them ... "We need someone who will Champion the Peng Challenge Thread and will uphold the traditions and rules of the thread." And the Olde Ones agreed ... of course he was witholding the booze until they did agree but even so they agreed. "But who," they asked, " would be capable of handling such an enormous responsibility?" "There is only one man for the job," sayeth Seanachai to them, "Sir Joe Shaw." And so it was that Sir Joe Shaw became the Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread. And as Justicar he upheld the decrees of the Olde Ones and the traditions of the Peng Challenge Thread. And in time it became even greater, it became the M.B.T. the Mutha Beautiful Thread and the CessPool. And it was good. And Joe Shaw became not only the Justicar but the Justicar for LIFE of the Peng Challenge Thread and he determined that an assistant would be good, for Joe Shaw was frequently out of town on business. Lacking any suitable candidates he basically tossed a coin and asked Sir Boo Radley to join the Justicariate of the Peng Challenge Thread as the Assistant Adjunct Alternate Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread and Boo Radley, having failed in his bid for Assistant Home Room Monitor in 6th Grade, was only too thrilled to accept. Time proved this to be one of the worst decisions in the history of mankind but what can you do. So to salvage this situation YOUR Beloved Justicar for Life of the Peng Challenge Thread has once again come to your rescue with this new incarnation of the Thread that will never die. Here, therefore, are the RULES! J) Sod Off ... no really, if you're looking for a "hail fellow, well met" welcome you've come to the wrong place. This is a place for bile and torment and if you can't dish it out in a witty and engaging manner and then take more of the same best just trot off to the Outreboards and talk about armor spalling or something. O) Still haven't left? Are you missing a few brain cells? Well here's the deal, if you MUST stick around, and really we'd strongly advise you to Sod Off, then show that you have some game. No, not SKILL at Combat Mission, we could care less. Show some skill at taunting and flinging virtual feces around. Which brings me to ... E) Don't ACTUALLY fling feces and don't be flinging any racial or sexist comments about either. In fact just avoid any of the "isms." Here we don't care what you are or where you're from (unless you're from Australia in which case what the hell's the matter with you?) Here you are known by the content of your posts. S) So sound off like you have a pair but don't sound off ABOUT your pair if you get my drift. There are children present and even some technically adult children (I'm looking at you Emrys) and we wouldn't want to turn their shell like ears aflame ... unless in the case of Emrys the entire head was aflame. H) DON'T abuse the Ladies of the Pool, if they're willing to put up with us they are to be cherished. A) So find yourself some Serf or Squire and challenge them to a game of CM, then post the resulting hilarity here. Show some spunk, some verve, some panache and perhaps (you should BE so lucky) some down at the heels Knight will take pity on you and propose you as Serf to the CessPool and from that point it's up to you and Bob's your uncle. In the fullness of time you could be taken to Squire by a Knight and if you're found worthy (excuse me, I just spit coffee on my monitor) you TOO could be ... wait for it ... a Knight of the CessPool. W) Follow these rules and all will be well, follow them not and the membership could vote to send you to Coventry and none here will then respond to your posts. Or you could just Sod Off ... Sir Joe Shaw JFLPCT 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidan1 Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 Bloody lovery, just like the olde daze. Who wants them back? Who wants Shaw back? Not a lot of good material for the MBT in the current lot on the BFC forums. They are too busy whining about paying for ugrades, or discussing the merits of how many AT teams a German infantry battalion should have to really put their brains to work and come up with humorous and cutting edge insults. I guess its just the new generation. (queue Roger Daltrey). 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ng cavscout Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 Ah, brings a tear to my eye it does. No, not your barely passable command of the King's English Joe Shaw, I actually think it is the acrid odor that fills the room when one of the Oddstralyians lifts his arms to pat himself on the back for giving the world the band Men At Work. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cymru Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 As one of the Senior members (71 if my mother didn't lie to me) I have a small suggestion. If "Sod Off" is to be the official statement, the the person in charge will always have be called Baldric, regardless of their real name or forum persona. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DLaurier Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 As one of the Senior members (71 if my mother didn't lie to me) I have a small suggestion. If "Sod Off" is to be the official statement, the the person in charge will always have be called Baldric, regardless of their real name or forum persona. You have no cunning plan 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 ... "We need someone who will Champion the Peng Challenge Thread and will uphold the traditions and rules of the thread." And the Olde Ones agreed ... of course he was witholding the booze until they did agree but even so they agreed. "But who," they asked, " would be capable of handling such an enormous responsibility?" "There is only one man for the job," sayeth Seanachai to them, "Sir Joe Shaw." And so it was that Sir Joe Shaw became the Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread. And as Justicar he upheld the decrees of the Olde Ones and the traditions of the Peng Challenge Thread. And in time it became even greater, it became the M.B.T. the Mutha Beautiful Thread and the CessPool. And it was good. And Joe Shaw became not only the Justicar but the Justicar for LIFE of the Peng Challenge Thread and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah! Sir Joe Shaw JFLPCT Oh, please! That was, without a doubt the largest, steaming piece of shameless self-indulgent, self-promoting, self-abusive nonsensical crap I've ever seen. And Not only have I been around here for over ten years, but I also work in advertising! How do you get that head of yours through doors? If it gets any larger, it'll shift the earth's axis. I hope you at least washed your hands when you were done typing it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted September 7, 2014 Author Share Posted September 7, 2014 As one of the Senior members (71 if my mother didn't lie to me) I have a small suggestion. If "Sod Off" is to be the official statement, the the person in charge will always have be called Baldric, regardless of their real name or forum persona.You may be a Senior member on the Outreboards but you're less than nothing here so your insolent suggestion is dismissed with the contempt it deserves. And I strongly suspect that your mother lied to you about many things, not least your age. Furtherless there is no email address in your profile nor even a general location. Yes, yes it was in the rules ... or at least in one of the incarnations of the rules in the past 13 or so years. Ignorance of the law is no excuse. Joe 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted September 8, 2014 Author Share Posted September 8, 2014 Oh, please! That was, without a doubt the largest, steaming piece of shameless self-indulgent, self-promoting, self-abusive nonsensical crap I've ever seen. And Not only have I been around here for over ten years, but I also work in advertising! How do you get that head of yours through doors? If it gets any larger, it'll shift the earth's axis. I hope you at least washed your hands when you were done typing it. Speaking of washing your hands, please DO so when you finish your usual interminable "washroom" stints in the Justicariate offices. I do hope that you didn't use official Justicariate funds for the subscription to Rubber Suit and Whip magazine I found on the floor. And get that damned bong out of your desk drawer. I tell you people, you CAN'T get good help these days. Joe 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
costard Posted September 8, 2014 Share Posted September 8, 2014 Joe you should know as well as anyone: pay monkeys, get feces thrown at you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted September 8, 2014 Share Posted September 8, 2014 ...I also work in advertising! And you should hang your head in shame for that! But you are right...sort of...almost...about one thing. The Olde Ones must have been caught in an especially whimsical fit of cruelty—as Olde Ones are apt to do—when they saddled the MBT with you-know-who. Unless there was a major dislocation in the fabric of space-time, it's hard to know how else to explain how the current situation came about. Michael 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted September 8, 2014 Share Posted September 8, 2014 And get that damned bong out of your desk drawer. Joe I do. Several times each day. That's about the only way I can deal with you without going completely homicidal. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noba Posted September 8, 2014 Share Posted September 8, 2014 And you should hang your head in shame for that! Michael When he says he works in advertising, he means he does letterbox drops of junk mail. Noba. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted September 9, 2014 Author Share Posted September 9, 2014 When he says he works in advertising, he means he does letterbox drops of junk mail. Noba.Now that's just not true ... Letterbox drops of junk mail have been proven to work ... I doubt his employers would trust him with something that might work, certainly based upon his performance here he can't be trusted with much more than putting him on bucket and mop duty. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 You know, after 42 years of either working in advertising or studying some aspect of it, mopping floors does not seem like such a bad thing. At the end of the day, you can look back at what you've done and say, "It was dirty, and I made it clean. That's a positive thing". No, that doesn't sound bad at all. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noba Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 You know, after 42 years of either working in advertising or studying some aspect of it, mopping floors does not seem like such a bad thing. At the end of the day, you can look back at what you've done and say, "It was dirty, and I made it clean. That's a positive thing". No, that doesn't sound bad at all. Just remember due to budget cuts there is no actual mop. Just dunk your head into the suds, get onto your hands and knees and lower your head to the floor and start crawling.* (It's works better if you make motor sounds at the same time). Noba. *For extra efficiency, shake your head from side to side. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 Just remember due to budget cuts there is no actual mop. Just dunk your head into the suds, get onto your hands and knees and lower your head to the floor and start crawling.* (It's works better if you make motor sounds at the same time). Noba. *For extra efficiency, shake your head from side to side. You have a motorized mop? Or did they just tell you it was motorized and then sat back and watched as you pulled the cord again and again and again, never noticing that it was part of a bungee cord that had been stapled to the handle. And they all laughed and laughed at your antics. As well they should. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ng cavscout Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 Boo Radley, shouldn't you be wrangling those SSN's from page one and trying to get them organized, hogtied, and shoved out the front door? Or at least get them challenging one another and generally capering for our amusement. I know you love the task, but your capering is ..... dated, repetitive, played out. Your jester hat bells just don't chime as sweetly as they used to. cyrum (or whatever string of letters he picked out of the scrabble box when registering on the forum, I can't be bothered to go back and look) along with dubovier (see prior parenthetical comment) are just drifting about in the currents of the Cesspool with no guidance, no direction, no torturous bedeviling. How are we expected to keep the MBT gasping unhealthily along without you or Joe Shaw stepping up and actually attempting (however feebly and half heartedly) to perform your duties? Stop giggling Noba, I said DUTIES.... Honestly, I am aghast at the state the two of you, combined with the ineffectual ministrations of the Australians and the (I suspect intentional and active) sabotage of the likes of Nidan1 (not that he can spell sabotage without taking off both his shoes) have let the MBT descend to... If Master Of The Noble House Rune or even that ne'er do well Seanachai were about, I don't expect things would be in this deplorable state. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 You know, after 42 years of either working in advertising or studying some aspect of it, mopping floors does not seem like such a bad thing. Either way, you're still just shoveling sh*t. Michael 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 What kind of bucolic hell do you reside in where you use a mop to shovel excrement? I mean... what the hell, Emrys! In what kind of special abattoir of hope that you call home would this constitute normal behavior. You are just to freaking weird, man. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 You are just to freaking weird, man. Yeah, but I spell correctly. Michael 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cymru Posted September 10, 2014 Share Posted September 10, 2014 Just remember due to budget cuts there is no actual mop. Just dunk your head into the suds, get onto your hands and knees and lower your head to the floor and start crawling.* (It's works better if you make motor sounds at the same time). Noba. *For extra efficiency, shake your head from side to side. Stick another mop in his butt for twice the efficiency. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted September 10, 2014 Author Share Posted September 10, 2014 What kind of bucolic hell do you reside in where you use a mop to shovel excrement? ... Im pretty sure they call it Washington. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ng cavscout Posted September 10, 2014 Share Posted September 10, 2014 Im pretty sure they call it Washington. I'm pretty sure you forgot an apostrophe. Since apparently we are doing that now. Don't think you are fooling anyone. I know full well you only fled to the home of the Broncos in order to avoid having to send me your next turns. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidan1 Posted September 10, 2014 Share Posted September 10, 2014 Hopefully the mile high atmosphere will take some of the wind out of his sails. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted September 10, 2014 Share Posted September 10, 2014 The regrettable truth is that he makes his own wind. Lots of it. Michael 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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