imported_Hiram Sedai

Great Googily Moogily, Joe. How can you be so insipid? What happened in your life years ago that made you so very….wrong? You know me, Joe. I am fond of old people. I have encouraged you throughout the years to find your teeth and have helped you wander around with your walker. But, come on now Joe. I secretly expected more of you. You claim to be above the rest of us. I had thought that you were smarter. Are you smarter, Joe? Tell me truthfully, Joe. Of the two of us, who calls the Bard while at an airport in Minnesnowta for a bootie call? Hmmm…could it be…YOU? As of this moment, you are scratched off my list of heroes! Before, it was you, William Shatner, Lee Majors, and ALF. I guess Justin Timberlake will take your place. You disappoint me Joe Shaw. You did NOT take us to funky town. Now, you hush up and munch on your geritol before I place some more fire ants in your adult diapers.

not really in the mood for any prison love, tough guy

What? Are you feeling a bit spunky tonight, wussy boy? Want to send a setup or are ya chicken? Bok, Bok Bok!!! (That taunt always seemed to work in the second grade and I was able to use it three years in succession.)

Lorak, MRPeng, and Goanna give me a holler if you want to continue our games from a while ago. I do hate the idea of beta’s. I spent an hour processing turns for me and the reason for the trembling in my loins. I patiently tried each in ver 1.02, ver 1.03 beta, and then ver 1.03. I should have never ever downloaded and used that silly beta. It was peer pressure and I blame Elvis. I struggle each day to live up to his standards and still fall short. Even after all of my effort, he verbally castigates me in an email. Does he know how he makes me hurt inside? As I sit weeping on the john, I ponder my existence and my role in the Mutha Beautiful Thread. This August, I will have been an inhabitant for three years. Three very long years of self deprecating humor and tussling with the CM Titans. I tip my Phillies cap to the following people for some very interesting battles of whit and combat mission: MarkIV - his humor, tenacity, and panache were awe inspiring and I do miss him. Germanboy - his arrogance, pomposity, and egocentricity made him a fun target to mess with. Hakko Ichui - alas, I never knew ye…but you did get a rise out of me when I first visited the Peng thread and therefore get my respect (you’re "fecking flamethrower" awaits, Professor Doctor Hamster X) PeterNZer - I still cringe from the torment of our PBEM’s JDMorse - I appreciate the tutelage, the mentoring and the empathy Geier - What should I say about the "Old Firm"? Mensch - You are just fricken crazy, dude (damn your hetzers) Croda - Sadly, you were my muse for angst and rage for a while. Still a bit bitter about some of those battles but I did whoop you good. (punk) Meeks - You were the Arnold Swarzennegger of the Peng Thread Thanks for the good memories! I shall try to stick around as long as they allow the Peng thread to exist. If I make you cringe with the stories of my sweet Hiram lovin, then good. I was able to make you chuckle for a second.

So, I ask for our turns from you brain dead twits in the latest version and all I get is two turns in the old version from a bonehead named Boo Radley. I shall now light the scented candles to mask the fetid stench from my regions most nether and begin the shtooping anew. When the significant other is walking like a gunfighter, she can thank you. I hope you all are happy.

Listen up, Porkchops!! If you are playing a game vs me or my lovely lady, Moraine Sedai, this announcement is for you. Send your latest turn in the latest version. Since I made the mistake of playing with the sodding beta version, I've gotten plenty of stupid little emails saying "But Hiram, it won't load with my latest version and I'm a dimwit". Here are my excuses for not sending out turns sooner: I've been knee deep in nookie for the last two months. I've been wading in the womanly well of goodness and lapping at the lake of labia punch. My significant other is now thoroughly exhausted and is ready to play some CM because she tires of having my disgusting hirsute frame huffing and puffing upon her. So, for her sake, send your turns in the latest version or else I may be forced to deal out some more Hiram-Lovin.

Lieutenant, shut your pie hole. Don't wait til the Yule season, shut it now. I checked the roster of all the people who decides who can and who CANNOT post around here and I did not see your name on that list. What does that tell me? You, sir are a candidate of shutting said piehole. Let me ‘splain it a little better for you. Shut up! Cease your inane prattling. Take your opinion and place it in a warm wet place. Don’t let it see any sunlight. Let it ferment and grow until one day when somebody somewhere might care a whit about what you think. Since the average genital wart has more gumption and sentience than you, I cannot fathom why you would think that your dim witted, synaptically challenged brain would reason well enough to type out a sentence of any importance.

You won.All best to all of you,and Sun, look out for yourself. </font>

Heads up, boneheads!! The Family Sedaihas all its turns out . We now have the 1.03c patch and will be processing all our turns in that version until they come out with yet another . Punctuation brought to you by the Society to Snuff out Lenonkonrad.

The Southern Adventure After a 17-hour drive with Saturn towing a trailer, I made it to Georgia. This state is positively huge compared to the toxic waste dump I once called home. Once you drive away from Atlanta, the people are polite and nice. I stare in awe as they allow you to merge with traffic and actually yield instead of jumping in. I had my horn and middle finger ready as usual for driving purposes, but I haven’t needed them yet. First two weeks consisted of it raining and the power going out. Since I live so near Newnan, Georgia…I almost got hit by some tornado activity. It’s a bit sobering. I still prefer very slow snowstorms. To answer the unspoken question…Yes, I introduced my girlfriend to CMBO and she had much fun beating me. We love the hot seat idea and she seems to enjoy winning. She is either a CM Savant or I am imbecile, you decide. For those of you who are still confused about Moraine Sedai and Hiram Sedai, your confusion will be increased tenfold as you receive my turns from her email address and her turns from my email address. It’s just dependent upon what email account I feel like using when I send my bi weekly turns. Deal with it. To close my little update, I’d like to say that Lady Emma is doing a noble thing and I support her. Let’s hope and pray that the Old Firm decides to stoop to our level for a moment and post. I live for such things. [ May 17, 2003, 09:08 AM: Message edited by: Hiram Sedai ]

Wrong again, Uncle Windbag!! I know you've been around since they invented Baseball in this blessed country of ours (proud to be merkin!) but I need to point out how wrong you are once again. Here in the 21st Century (two century since your nefarious lawyer self was ripped from the womb) we have the Cleveland Indians and the Atlanta braves. Neither team is as important and awe inspiring as the Philadelphia Phillies (spelt, bolded, and worshipped). Regarding the supposed "gender elasticity", you crotchedy, liver spotted, feeble minded, old coot...I have been knee deep in nookie these past two weeks and have found my nirvana. Yes, I know that copulation is a faded memory of yours like the time when you could still see your feet without hearing the cracking and popping of your archaic joints. Know that I am fetching a scenario from the Depot and will try once more to kick the walker out from underneath you. You still have my eternal disdain. Check your front lawn. Can you say flaming bag of Hiram droppings?

bwabwbawbawbwbwbwbawba.... honk, honk, honkety-honk </font>

My fellow bastards, I am safely ensconced in the abode of a Lady Moraine Sedai For those of you who are currently my PBEM opponents I would ask a small boon of you. Please forward your turns to me at hiram_sedai@earthlink.net Please notice the new underscore in the address. I am currently on HER computer and won't be using MY computer for some time. I would like to thank both of my opponents who still read the Peng thread for responding. [ May 02, 2003, 10:27 AM: Message edited by: Hiram Sedai ]

Berli's got a bit ol bump I know I told you I'd be true But Berli's got a big ol bump So I'm leaving you

You are all a bunch of idiots.

You are all a bunch of idiots.

Peng, you are stupid, ugly and you smell bad. I hate you. No, Peng…shut up! Just shut your flippen pie hole and let the sane people post. I saw that sad, sorry excuse for a thread on the General forum with you and your old friends. Want to see the Peng thread go away, fruitcake? How about you keep ignoring it like you have for the last two flippen years, ya panzyass. You know, I thought of you as sort of a legend until that time when I realized that you gave up. You contribute nothing and whine a lot. I don’t think I’m alone in thinking that you are an ussy-pay. Your sad little sidekick posts one-liners with one word. I won’t mention it now because it’s played out. How in the hell are we supposed to know that you care, man? Do we care if you care and in caring if you care are we being careless? That is the question that weighs heavily upon my mind. Well that and how many cheese steaks can Jim Thome put away in one sitting. How about them Phils? You, Sir are a sad, sorry, sack of snail snot and I can barely look at you any more. Back then the gorge did rise and I had to look away as you drank out of my beer bottle. My beer bottle, you bastard!! (Almost rhymes and is fridge worthy for notes) Back then we laughed and sang old Negro Spirituals. We would chuckle while discussing how Joe Shaw was likely to get gang raped by a band of irate lesbians and then forced into servitude by the Mormon church. My eyes still tear from the stench of the cat urine and the malodorous stench of your sidekick. Maybe something did crawl up there and die. CSI, South Philly? MRPeng, you are a sagging prostate gland that is ready to give up the ghost. Old curmudgeons usually amuse me, but I have no more laughter. You robbed me of my humor by being such a whiny female dog. Have you the cajones to stand up for your name and the thread that was named after you time and again (and again and again)? I’m thinking that you are a closet Braves fan. That has got to be it. No Phillies Phan would show such cowardice and unwillingness to stand up and fight. So, you bequeathed this thread to some little fart in the wind as if this thread was yours to donate. As if you have contributed anything of worth in Brenda knows how long. So, I would add delusional to demented and incontinent as your diagnosis. Let me close now with a hymn. All rise…ah nevermind. Peng, add something or get the hell out. I expectorate upon your memory.

Peng, you are stupid, ugly and you smell bad. I hate you. No, Peng…shut up! Just shut your flippen pie hole and let the sane people post. I saw that sad, sorry excuse for a thread on the General forum with you and your old friends. Want to see the Peng thread go away, fruitcake? How about you keep ignoring it like you have for the last two flippen years, ya panzyass. You know, I thought of you as sort of a legend until that time when I realized that you gave up. You contribute nothing and whine a lot. I don’t think I’m alone in thinking that you are an ussy-pay. Your sad little sidekick posts one-liners with one word. I won’t mention it now because it’s played out. How in the hell are we supposed to know that you care, man? Do we care if you care and in caring if you care are we being careless? That is the question that weighs heavily upon my mind. Well that and how many cheese steaks can Jim Thome put away in one sitting. How about them Phils? You, Sir are a sad, sorry, sack of snail snot and I can barely look at you any more. Back then the gorge did rise and I had to look away as you drank out of my beer bottle. My beer bottle, you bastard!! (Almost rhymes and is fridge worthy for notes) Back then we laughed and sang old Negro Spirituals. We would chuckle while discussing how Joe Shaw was likely to get gang raped by a band of irate lesbians and then forced into servitude by the Mormon church. My eyes still tear from the stench of the cat urine and the malodorous stench of your sidekick. Maybe something did crawl up there and die. CSI, South Philly? MRPeng, you are a sagging prostate gland that is ready to give up the ghost. Old curmudgeons usually amuse me, but I have no more laughter. You robbed me of my humor by being such a whiny female dog. Have you the cajones to stand up for your name and the thread that was named after you time and again (and again and again)? I’m thinking that you are a closet Braves fan. That has got to be it. No Phillies Phan would show such cowardice and unwillingness to stand up and fight. So, you bequeathed this thread to some little fart in the wind as if this thread was yours to donate. As if you have contributed anything of worth in Brenda knows how long. So, I would add delusional to demented and incontinent as your diagnosis. Let me close now with a hymn. All rise…ah nevermind. Peng, add something or get the hell out. I expectorate upon your memory.

Thanks for all the hard work, gentlemen. I've been a fan of Der Kessel since its inception. I'm sorry to see it go.

You know, you've really hit rock bottom when you fantasize about being a cartoon character. And not even a really cool cartoon character. So, why don't you put down the can of sterno and send me a move, you cretin. </font>

"blah blah blah, I'm Mister Burns..."

Sneakychoo, you are twice the age, not twice the "man". What you are lacking in Fill In Blank, you are also lacking in Fill in Blank. Face it, Bub...you're a Woobiehead. A "Woobie" is a squeeky toy with dog slobber on it. It serves no other purpose than to entertain a dog. Know your role and we'll get along just fine. PS Don't hold me in your heart or in your mind or in your imagination. It just creeps me out. Effeminate old men give me the willies. *shudders*

Welcome back, Mister Boggs. I'd like to know who the butthead is who emailed you. You could share that info, ya know. We like a witch hunt around here. Tie him/her up and bleed him/her!! I'd offer to sponsor you but that would be much more of a curse than a blessing. News from the Home Front Turns will be slow...oh sit down and stop booing! I'm moving to the country, gonna eat alot of peaches. I visited Lady Moraine Sedai last week and it was wonderful. Her dog watched me as I processed a turn and could not bear to look at my tactical ineptidude. Approx 3 weeks from now, I will be safely ensconced in Castle Sedai with Lady Moraine Sedai and we shall play hotseat games until our fingers bleed. Until that time, you may whine and whimper all you like, turns will be slow and sloppy as usual.

I would also like to welcome Sir Lenakonrad as a new knight of the MBT. I think he is worthy of being a knight as much as the rest of us are worthy. If you think of it as worth. I was lowered to knighthood on a whim of the elf Lorak after one squire battle that I lost. Oh, how the old ones ground their gums and complained bitterly that day.

Hello.I'm Konrad .You're Hiram. We're identical twins.I'm in the medics ,you're in communications.U.S. Navy ,six years service .Depressed over death of your pet monkey ,you tried to hang yourself .I cut you down in time . That's our story .You want to remember... konrad Faithful Squire To SIR AUSSIEJEFF </font>