OGSF

How are ye jarrah floor boards holdin' up, Noba?

Thank ye, Nidan1, for tha many fine games. Including tha one wae didnae get tae finish.

Tha ainly reason Ah'd steal ye underpants, as sae Ah cuild gi' em back tae ye at Christmas fer a present.

Ah'm glad tae hae known StukaNukaPukaPants. Very sad tae learn o' haes passin'.

Wid ye mind droppin' a wee clue as tae wah tha wee puddle o' Boo Radley 'll bae? Af'n ye e'en remembered tae make at.

Thain ye hae tha recallin' facilities o' a pregnant goldfish, ye toe-stubbin' blouse- wearin' weiner-haggler. Bolded mah spotty arse. Ah'm here tae doff mah tam an' doon a tumbler o' Lagavulin tae Berlichtingenthingen, who Ah met tha one time at dinner wi' Ol Foul Joe. Hae had a hand ain designin' tha game Ah played as a wee squire agin tha' bugger Hiram Sedai. Was at really 16 years ago? Sae Ah knew Berli tae bae tha bastard he wah, fraim tha start. A guid bastard, An Ah haid nae quarrel wi' haim. Nae forgotten laddie.

An' ye're a gluten free vegan lemon blackberry bundt cake jammed between a sassanach's spotty arse cheeks, laddie. But ye alraidy knew that, did'n ye?

Sae last week Ah'd bin drinkin' a' tha local pub. Ah were a wee bit wobbly. Sae Ah took a bus haim. At were a big staip fer mae. Ah'd ne'er driven a feckin' bus before.

At's bin asked before, an' Ah'll ask at agin.... wha's a "dalem"?

Tae tha wee-stained laddies o' tha 'Pool, an' tha bonnie wee lassies, Nollaig Chridheil agus Bliadhna mhath ùr! Noba, ah'm sure thae stinkin' Victorians haid their surplus bofors trained on ye sputterin' Fokker Friendship tha whole way fraim Mildura tae Geelong an' back.

Here laddie, hold mae feckin' haggis fer a second... *BOOT!* Ta.

A guid New Year and mony may ye see. When we're gaun up the hill of fortune, may we ne'er meet a frien' comin' doun!

Ye are easily amazed, at's lak showin' cheap card tricks tae a baby owl.

Ah've packed thas wee cannon wi' a boocket o' poowder an' grapeshort. Wid ye noo peer doon that barrel an' confirm ats' packed correctly? Ah'll bae back here holdin' thas lanyard oot o' tha dusty groond...

Lak a wee span'l returnin' tae ats ain vomit, Ah jus' popped ain to wish ye Merry Christmas, an may the moose ne'er lea' yer girnal wi a tear-drap in its ee.