Buzzsaw

Fear the gillywump, it comes for us all; Rejoice in the bizzlebump, its light is pure to see; And always, always respect your sticklelump - it's the only thing you will ever truly own.

I had a rollicking quick battle with Stuka in 2011. Might have been part of my knightly training. Losing friends is no fun. My condolences to those of you who knew him well.

Soundtrack on Boo's AAR might violate forum rules. Total ****e, whatever that was. Yes, I know that was months ago. Sadly it is only one page back.

Surely someone is overdue with an AAR? Some slaughter of hapless hamstertroopen needs to be memorialized. Almost makes me want to find a noob to challenge, but there is the small mater of my not having any recent version of CM. In unrelated news, I'd like to report that a few inches of rain in California has all my neighbors reinstalling their lawns, water features, rice paddies and backyard misters & evaporative coolers.

You can't really blame your poor grammar on the upgrade. About the only thing I can get out of the above "sentence" is an ebonics inspired anagram. When you've got something interesting to say and can figure out the basic conventions of the english language, let us know, Sir D'lame.

More like rolled-up and stored under the cobweb-filled rafters with your participant ribbons from Tiddlywinks tournaments and your collection of pinch-pots from kindergarten. Here's an idea: why don't you look through that other debris-strewn storage space (you know, that cavernous space on top of your shoulders) and see if you can find the password to your original account. One speedhump was already one too many. Two is unbearable.

Shouldn't there be some kind of penance required of speedhump for loosing his handle? Did he already make amends? If only we had something like a Justicar to help us understand the proper procedures for these cases....

I am pleasantly surprised (and unpleasantly unsurprised that I am pleasantly surprised) to find several old names still posting. I was expecting that Seanachai's liver would have exploded like a T-34 canister round by now. Having been offline for so long, I am really confused. Is Combat Mission "Touch" something that Noba and PanzerMike play late at night with Kenny G in the background? And what the heck is CM: Black Sea? Last I knew the Russians and the Allies were working together to crush the evil Nazi's. I don't want to play a game that reminds me how f-ed up the world is today. I want to play a game that allows me to romanticize how f-ed up the world was 70 years ago.

If Joe is there, wouldn't that make it antisocial media? Besides, he seems to have opted for some avatar-based platform where he can carry around large stabbing implements in order to make up for certain shortcomings.

Where are the Seanachais of yesteryear?

What the heck is wrong in here?! Why has the flow of bile and vitriol slowed to a trickle? Look at those last few posts. Pathetic. Almost makes me wish Joe Shaw would step in and drop some giant “Rules of Order” turd into the pool just to stir things up. I’m going to need a little time to document my last two games, but I’ll address the issue of my three Panthers brought up by the raving OGSF. Somehow that cheating Scotsman managed to purchase twice as many troops and three times as many AFVs as me, and still ended up losing. Moreover, other than an impotent little scout car, and a mad rush by one Sherman 75 that ended with the Sherman taking a panzershreck in the kiester, no shells even hit my tanks. Yes, I had three Panthers, but for all the challenge posed by OGSF, they could have been three drunk Volkssturm with a wheelbarrow full of sticky bombs. The end result would have been the same.

Not sure what is worse, losing to Stuka, or sharing something in common with so many Cesspoolers.

Total Victory. 9 tanks lost for OGSF versus 0 for me. The end game featured my Panthers rolling over OGSF’s few remaining troops as they as they cowered in the tall grass. Your hatred for OGSF wouldn't have anything to do with losing a Tiger to a measly Sherman 75, would it? Yes, news of your humiliations travels quickly.

Oh glorious day! We a truly blessed to be living in such times! Let the Cesspool heralds proclaim the victory of Sir Buzzsaw in righteous battle over OGSF. Great Fred has smiled upon me this day, and so he smiles on all of you. I stand before you, not as the newly minted knight of yesterday, but as your consecrated warrior of the ever after. Baptized by the blood of my enemy and confirmed by Great Fred himself, my unblemished record of 1-0 in knightly battle stands as testament to my Galahadean perfection. I will, in due time, post the details of my splendid total victory, but felt compelled to share this joyous news forthwith.

I realize the Germans didn't have hedgerow busting tanks. Had I know we were going to be playing in a damn hedge maze, I would've chosen the Amis. I hope you are enjoying the halftrack turkey shoot that is going on right now. I am not.

Stuka continues to mop up the remnants of my battalion. Darn hedgerows and no rhino equipped tanks or satchel charges has left me even more disorganized than usual. I blame Rune. OGSF has learned (the hard way), the value of a veteran Panther. He also spent several turns playing "catch the MG rounds" with his HT. Firing from an elevated position into open top vehicles is quite a lot of fun. Hoping that both games will wrap up in the near future (after 3+ months), just in time to install and play the CW module. Sir Buzzsaw

Nah, we were both several hedgerow enclosed fields away from VLs to start. My plan of giving letting Stuka have one VL uncontested, and milling about aimlessly in front of the other was, perhaps, somewhat ill-conceived. There may be an inquiry. In my other battle, OGSF seems to have brought scout cars to a tank fight. Well, that is not entirely true. He did have a lot of tanks too. This one may require a video AAR instead of the usual pictorial. Its a thing of beauty when your opponent's tank decides to pivot 200m away from an undetected ATG.

For once, Shaw and I agree on something. I am certainly not above ogling (or leering), but those girls need a few more pounds and a few more years on them. In other news, OGSF and I have finished our match. The final had OGSF losing twice as many men and AFVs as me, and the vast majority of his remaining forces running around looking for a change of underwear. Despite this, my plodding and incomplete advance allowed him to salvage a draw. No matter, the rematch is underway, and I am confident that the drunken Scotsman will not escape a second time. Perhaps I will post a proper summary, complete with snaps of piled OGSF pixxeltruppen corpses. Perhaps I will have a beer.

Gads! . Nobody warned me what it was like to play against this drunken Scotsman. He can't even keep track of his forces.

I would like to remind my opponents to stop trying to mislead me and/or get me to elicit information with the less-than-clever statements and questions included in your emails. There is no fooling Wile E. Buzzsaw. OGSF, your transparent statement about there not being any 76s on the battlefield was laughable. Just the same, I took pity on your poor blinded Firefly and put it out of its misery. Now we can accurately say that there is one less 76 on the battlefield.

The shame is that we are playing Rune creation and he still can't tear himself away from his toenail picking.

Well at least he is sending you turns. Stuka, when you are done with hugging edges (and sheep) send me a turn, you twit.

In game wife?! You are not fooling us, that is your in-game hospice nurse. I would have thought that you would use a fantasy game to escape from that part of your sad reality, but it looks like you aren't even able to get any distance from your twisted nurse Ratched fixation. Is that a +2 ball-cutter on her belt?

No time for a proper update. Seems that people at work actually want me to ... work these days. I guess that is a good thing. In my game with Stuka, I have finished trimming the hedges with HE, and am now creeping forward (into the open) to examine my handiwork. Only problem so far is that Stuka's men seem to be equipped with squad-destroying Willie Pete bazookas. Not pleased about that. Nothing to report on game with OGSF. So far, it has been a 10 minute soundtrack of birds chirping. That is all.

My mistake for assuming that our backwards Scotsman had already installed a patch that is 4 months old. I'll just count myself lucky that he isn't asking me to put my files on a floppy and stick them in the parcel post.