BFCElvis

If you download the patch you will need to either convert all you current PBEMs to the new version or kept the execute file for v1.02 and boot the game with whatever version the game you are playing is saved in.

Dear Croda, Why do you smell of Hiram. Love, Elvis

Dear Malakovski, I had no idea that you were having to un-number turns for me. Do not bother to un-number turns any longer. It sounds like it is a drag for you. I am not an unreasonable person. The email autonumbering like named files thing is something that can be turned off if you wish otherwise send me whatever file names you want. As far as our game goes, I am not sure I understand what you mean by beating me badly. You have knocked out one of those pissant (I like to call the Joeshaws) tanky things and that is all that has happened so far. Meanwhile the little bit of your infantry that has a bit of guts and has shown their ugly faces have been kept under control with a combination of pinpoint mortor fire and deadly suppressing fire from expertly placed MGs and more Joeshaws. Nebbiolo on the other hand is playing the game the only way he possibly can and not lose. That is but sending turns at an even slower pace than Hiram. Clever man you are Nebbiolo. You can't lose a game that never even sees a second turn. I wish I had thought of that during one of the games Fionn slaughtered me in. Love, Elvis

Dear Joe "Newbie" Thug, Thank you for your advise on the postings. Good work. I will work on your suggestions. You really are a kind and generous person. I have also heard from a friend who met you out in Utah that you have a cute ass. I also heard you wouldn't let him touch it. Another good move on your part. Thanks again. Warm regards, Elvis

Dear Jim Booger, Stop sucking up ya damned newbie. You're worse than that other suck up newbie Joe Newbie. My "Wankers." is on page one. Stare at it as long and as often as you need. If you are trying to score a game against me then just send a bloody set up file. As I was telling M'lady Emma the other night it is dalem that I would really like to play. He has always struck me as a person with a sharp wit and evil mind...even if he is a dirty smelly hippy. Love, Elvis

I have had no problems or issues with the patch.

I was recently told of a move to save flamethrowers from burning through their ammo but haven't even thought to try it on mortors or tanks. If you target a flamethrower to an area and also give it a move command or pause then move command it will shoot off a few bursts and them stop. The move command worked when giving just the smallest distance. Try it out.

Wankers.

Dear Joenewbie, You have me pegged Mate. I stopped posting here on a regular basis a long time ago because of my lack of wit and proper writing skills. My ability (or lack of) to count has been a source of great embarassment to me since I was 10 years old and people stopped trying to teach me to count to 10. Thank you for pointing it out to me and bringing shame to me in this noble thread. I will now slink back under the rock I crawled out from under as it appears my dear Emma thread is coming to a close anyway. I do want to say this before I go....People who cannot write or count are still people too. And cheap thugs and bullys should learn to accept people for their handicaps and help then through life instead of crushing their dreams, hopes and desires. Yours always, Elvis P.S one,two,three,four,five,six,seven,eleventeen,twenty-two, ten (see..if a person puts their mind to it they can do anything...aren't you ashamed of yourself now).

Dearest Joenewbie, Go back...go way back to the earliest Peng thread and read what the established rules were about commenting on misspellings, typos, poor grammer and lack of proper education. They were all to be ignored so that the meaning of the drivel is what was heard not whether or not someone knew or used the English language properly. Proper useage has no meaning to someone with a brain that was fried in the early 80s like mine. I can't (and shouldn't) be expected to rant in any way other than to let it just flow out of what is left of my brain through my twisted nicotine stained fingers and across the internet (which I invented by the way) and into your eyes. Love, Elvis P.S. It eats you up that I am right about the numbering thing.

Dear Malakovski, I am afraid you are right about me and either owe you all an apology or nothing at all. With regrets, Elvis P.S. YOU owe ME a turn so stop yapping and get to it.

Dearest Joe, Numbered turns are wastes of time started by mindless people who ca't keep track of what game they are playing and whose turn it is. As I have sated many times before the only possible reasons I can see for numbering files are if you plan on going back and writing an AAR after the battle or if you are involoved in something like CMMC. Anyone who saves every file of every game they ever played is a mook and needs alife. Who really needs (or wants) to go back over endless turn reviewing past battles. Saving the occational "cool" turn is very easy to without numbering an entire games worth of files. I have 113 files in my PBEM folder at this moment froma CMMC training missin against Fionn. I can't imagine why I would need all those files for the 6 other games I am playing. "Well Elvis just delete them after as you get several turns ahead and you won't have that many" Why have them to begin with!! "Well Elvis you could create a folder for each game and download the files into that folder and then when the PBEM creates the new file you can easily just move that into the folder as well and then your PBEM folder will not be filled with hundreds of file" Sure I could but again WHY?!?!? "Well Elvis how do you know for sure whose turn it is isn't something got lost in the mail?" By trying to open the ONE file that I have for the game and see if it asks for MY password or the LOSER I am playing's password. "Well Elvis what happens if you get a file that is corrupted?" I have been playing CM daily since the beta demo in 1999 and have NEVER had a corrupted file and if I ever did (which I haven't had to do) I would simply download the previous email sent to me and we would begin back a turn which is what we would have to do if we had a corrupted file anyway (which I have never had anyway). "Well Elvis everybody does it...why are you so millitant about this..take a pill and chill dawg." Because I would love to meet the brain surgeon who firsthought numbering was such a great idea and then conned all you rubes into buying into the program and stick a nedle in his (or her) eye (or eyes). This will probably be a new rant to the newbies here and a beaten horse to the old ones but it is a fight I never tire of fighting. Love, Elvis

Dear Throbbing Masses, Knobo is a stand up human (if there is such a thing). He was kind enough to read my previous post about not numbering turn files and has proven that he is not the lemming the most of the rest of you lot are. He is a thinking mans CM player and should be given props for his brave move. Of course Malakovski wasn't as wise. Time will tell if he will be receiving a turn 1 surrender file from me. Love, Elvis

Dear Wrath of, Blah blah blah blah blah. Love, Elvis

Dear Wrath of, I believe mt Wankers is on page 5. Love, Elvis

Dear Leeon4digitmembernumber, While it is true that I may have let you win one or two games against me it was all part of my helping newbies feel good program. Love, Elvis

Dear Malakovski, I did send the file the other night (or thought I did). I will attempt to resend tonight. Love, Elvis

Dear Nebbiolo, While I prefer premade (they are usually far more interesting...even the unbalanced ones) I am certainly willing to play my 2nd CMBB QB against the likes of you. I will send a 1500 point somethingorother when I get home from work this evening (unless you want to send one sooner). While I loath to play people that have higher than a 3 digit member number I am always willing to do my part to support newbies. If you insist on playing v1.02 then I will oblige you. However it is newbies like you that should be ashamed of yourselves for not helping the good folks at BFC shake out the possible bugs in v1.03 when asked for help. Shame on you. Shame shame shame. Love, Elvis

Dear Hammerheads, Does anyone in this thread even return files anymore. The poser Malakovski has had all day to post sily rebutals to nonsense but has failed to send a file back. Has Hiram left a legacy? Love and kisses, Elvis

Dear Nebbiolo, I can handle many games at once. I currently have 5 going (this does not include those punks Hiram and MsSedai because they are too cheap to download the beta patch). I am certainly willing to smack you around like the little welp that you are. I've got chunks of guys like you in my stool. (I haven't used that in a while...damn it feels good.) If you have the courage to send a set up file then so be it. That silly King of the Hill scenario seems to be the one everyone sends me but I have been stuck in the middle of it with MsSedai forever (see above). Love, Elvis

Who is Malakovski?

One of you knuckleheads has taken up my challenge.

Dear Pussdrinkers, OK....Whatshisnamenewguywhomentionedthefaqthread has made me feel like I haven't been a part of this silly thread for a while. Since I know by hanging out a little more I will piss off a section of the population here and slam the rest with a massive dose of apathy I am ready to make a limited return. It is time for the nearly unbeatable Elvis to offer his services to the sodden masses. Any challenger is free to send me the set up file of his(or her) choice. I don’t care what type of battle or which side. I have only played one QB since CMBB was released because I generally find premade scenarios to be more interesting. I also have 2 byte battles left that I am to playtest for Germansissy and would be happy to give one of them a whirl. Any of you scumbags with the hearts of rats and morals of seahorses try to send me a numbered file and the you will receive and immediate surrender from me. Nothing hurts more than to spend all the time it takes to set up a battle and receive a turn 1 surrender. So someone send me a setup now. I don’t care who it is but there are several long timers who have been too yeller to take a try at me. Love, Elvis

Wankers.

I tried to set this up for a PBEM with Peng and, of course, encountered the same things everyone else has. I told Berli (he designed it) that I would leave it in my will so that my 2 year old son may be able to someday give it to his grandson and be able to play it.